What one wife believed would be a thoughtful birthday gift for her husband turned into a stomach-churning revelation.
The woman shared the incredible story with Slate’s Dear Prudence Podcast via an anonymous letter. The couple grew up in the same town and now share a 2-year old son. The wife thought it would be a fun activity to learn more about their ancestry, but boy was she wrong. "For a birthday present, I got both of us an ancestry kit," she explained, Café Mom reports. "I wish to God I never came up with the idea."
When they got their results back, however, the test revealed the husband and wife are actually first cousins. The woman said it’s all but broken her husband’s heart and she’s not sure how or if they can move past this.
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"This news unsettles me and has left my husband's world in tatters," she wrote. "His parents have been married for 30 years and my husband always held his mother close to sainthood." The couple has been struggling since the stark revelation. So much so, the husband is insisting on sleeping in separate rooms and won’t talk to his wife about it.
But one thing, in particular, was perplexing the wife since the reveal. She says she just can’t connect the dots as to how the two of them are related and never knew about it. Evidence suggests her mother-in-law may have been having an affair with one of her uncles, but she was still baffled as to who it could be.
"All my uncles are happily married -- I thought," the wife said in her letter. "I find myself looking through photo albums of our childhood together and trying to figure out the truth."
She said that it makes it all the worse that she can’t share this shocking secret with her family, even though her mom and sisters are coming to town to visit her soon. “This secret is poisoning my marriage, and I am terrified it will blow up the rest of our family," she wrote. "My father-in-law likes to rhapsodize how he married the first girl he ever kissed. This is going to kill him."
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The hosts of the podcast both recommended the wife work things through with her husband rather than worrying about anyone else at the moment. They also told her to try to look past the stigma of cousins marrying cousins… and perhaps enrol in marriage counselling.
"You're cousins. You're not siblings. You didn't grow up thinking of yourself related,” host Connor Goldsmith said. "There are plenty of places around the world where people marry their first cousins and it's not considered that weird. Unless your husband simply can't live with this, I don't see the upside in blowing up this marriage, potentially, 30 years later."
What do you think, The Talko readers? Is this something you’d be able to look past in your own marriage? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!