We all have baggage. Personal successes and failures, professional achievements, familial troubles, friendships – they all contribute to the people we are and affect how our relationships unfold. Every experience we’ve had throughout our lives shapes us into who we are, which means that some baggage can be good and others can be more of a burden to deal with.
When we love someone, we learn to accept them for who they are, baggage and all. We understand that their life experiences and circumstances are what have formed them. They might not remember in great detail how some childhood trauma impacts them today, but its fingerprints are all over their psyches.
We bring our baggage into relationships, and the success of that relationship depends on how we deal with it and how our partner responds to it. We may have to make adjustments for communication or personal space. We are two complete people who are seeing how we fit together.
By looking at our astrological signs, we can better understand what kind of baggage we take with us into relationships – or what has been the direct result of our past relationships. No one is perfect, and it is these idiosyncrasies that make us who we are.
24 TAURUS MAN: Full Of Resentment
Taurus men are like elephants: they don’t forget anything. While this can be a good thing when it comes to remembering important dates like anniversaries or how we take our coffee, it also means that this guy catalogues every single time he’s been wronged.
In relationships, it’s important to learn from our mistakes, but the Taurus man is much more likely to use all those times things went wrong with an ex as a reason to hold off on seeing someone new. He’s a stubborn sign and unlikely to back down from a fight, but it’s this lingering seething resentment that’s really hard for him to shake.
23 TAURUS WOMAN: Letting Others Down
The Taurus woman is a dependable creature in all the best ways. She’s a nurturing Earth sign and can be counted on to be the “mom” of the friend group most of the time. She truly cares about the people she’s involved with – in relationships or otherwise. However, that means that she ends up shouldering a lot of the responsibility of feeling like she isn’t doing enough to help those around her.
She’s human like all of us, and she can’t be there 100% of the time, much as she’d like to. When she’s not around, she feels like she’s let people down, and that guilt can impact her love life.
22 GEMINI MAN: Wanting To Talk Through Everything
Communication skills are one of the great traits of this sign, but it can rub his partners the wrong way. Sometimes people want to take their time to muddle through their feelings before discussing it, but the Gemini guy refuses to take that route. Instead, he wants to suss out thoughts and feelings ASAP, in order to quell his busy mind.
To their SOs, this behavior can feel selfish – he may want to talk all the time, but we don’t, and aren’t relationships meant to be a two-way street? This Air sign needs to learn the value of boundaries.
21 GEMINI WOMAN: The Opportunities She Didn’t Take
Constantly curious, the Gemini woman always wants to learn and experience more. She’s so often pulled in so many directions thanks to her wide-ranging interests that it can be difficult for her to settle on one thing. It’s this exact problem that can cause her to get hung up on all the opportunities and experiences she didn’t take.
What this means in a relationship is that the Gemini girl may constantly be looking to see if the grass is greener on the other side and feeling a little underwhelmed by the choices she’s made. Whatever she doesn’t have may always seem like the better, more interesting option.
20 CANCER MAN: Feelings Of Betrayal
Men born under the sign of Cancer are moody guys. When it comes to love, this Water sign dives right in, which is why it’s so hurtful for him when relationships end. Rather than look at that ending with rationality, the Cancer man may feel betrayed and heartbroken, no matter the circumstances.
He carries this heartbreak and pain into his subsequent relationships, and every time one ends, he ends up a little more guarded. He feels as though his heart and his goodwill have been taken for granted, and he may be extremely hesitant to make that mistake again. There may not be enough time to heal all these wounds.
19 CANCER WOMAN: Keeping Everything Bottled Up
Unlike other Water signs, the Cancer woman doesn’t like expressing all of her emotions out loud. Instead, this introspective sign is more likely to work through them internally before deciding whether or not they should see the light of day. On the surface, this can feel very mature and level-headed, but if we dig a little deeper, we can see that the Cancer woman is actually keeping everything bottled up – and contents under pressure may explode.
She hates being vulnerable after being burned so many times in the past, and so keeping her emotions under lock and key is her way of protecting herself, even if it negatively impacts her relationship.
18 LEO MAN: His Way Or The Highway
The Leo man is used to being the leader. He loves the spotlight and feeling like he’s the one in control. Usually, this means he’ll end up dating a supporting actor rather than a fellow lead, because this guy does not like to share.
The Leo guy, despite his big heart and generosity, tends to think only in terms of what’s best for him or what concerns him. What this means when it comes to love is that he’s rarely willing to compromise – and anyone in a healthy relationship knows that give and take is an important part of its success. His relationships can’t progress because he doesn’t give his SO an equal part in them.
17 LEO WOMAN: She Can’t Always Get What She Wants
As a Leo woman, this girl wants it all. More often than not in her life, she’s been able to get everything she’s ever wanted, thanks to her charm and people skills. However, all the times she hasn’t achieved her heart’s desires have added up, and she carries that bit of baggage with her, as though the universe has personally slighted her on every occasion.
The Leo woman doesn’t know how to lose and she doesn’t like to lose. She believes that she is more deserving than most and when that opinion is called into question, she can become very bitter.
16 VIRGO MAN: He Can’t Forget Where He Went Wrong
The Virgo man is a very particular fellow. He likes everything to be a certain way and most of the time, his pickiness has been a shield around the unexpected aspects of life. He’s a planner and tries to always have a contingency plan.
However, it’s all the times he’s made the wrong decision that stick with him for far longer than any right move he’s ever made. Any time a relationship ended despite his best efforts, he’s blamed himself. Any time he was passed over for a promotion, he convinced himself he wasn’t good enough. It’s a lot of stress for one person to bear.
15 VIRGO WOMAN: Everything Must Be Perfect
In her professional life, the Virgo woman’s perfectionist tendencies are a huge asset: she never does anything halfway, and any project she completes is always stellar.
That being said, people cannot be molded and manipulated like a PowerPoint presentation, and she can’t check them off her to-do list.
The Virgo woman’s stringent requirements can be a little too much for her partner, because they feel as though they will never live up to her unrealistic expectations. She can be difficult in her pursuit of the ideal, and her particularities can have her writing off people who might be a great match if she relaxed a little.
14 LIBRA MAN: A Catalogue Of Lies
The Libra man does his best to please everyone around him. He’s a peacemaker and values harmony above most else. He’ll do almost anything to avoid conflict, including lying. These may be little white lies or they might be something bigger and darker, but the Libra man remembers them all – and feels guilty for them.
Even though he believes in telling fibs to keep everything copacetic, he can’t help but feel a little bad every time something untrue slips past his lips. He values truth in relationships and honesty above many other things, but sometimes he can’t help himself and a lie just comes out anyway.
13 LIBRA WOMAN: Feelings Get Misinterpreted
Born under the planet Venus, the Libra woman puts a lot of stock in love. She loves everything about love and showing her partner how much she cares. However, depending on the love language her SO speaks, feelings can get misinterpreted, which can lead to arguments and untidy communication.
For example, if the Libra woman prefers to give gifts to show her affections, she may be looking for the same from her SO. When that doesn’t happen (because they show affection through words or touch), she can feel slighted – even though that was never her partner’s intention! Rather than talk it out, she may seethe or give the silent treatment instead.
12 SCORPIO MAN: Secret-Keeping
Scorpio men dislike secrets, and feel that when things are kept from them it’s an act of betrayal. However, hypocritically, this Water sign is known to carry a few secrets of his own.
What this means when it comes to relationships is that he may not be so forthcoming about information about himself and it can take a lot of time and effort for him to fully trust his partner. Keeping his own secrets is his way of protecting himself and those around him, because he worries that some of the things he conceals in his dark underbelly are too intense for others to handle.
11 SCORPIO WOMAN: Carrying A Grudge
Another sign with the gift and curse of a long-term memory, the Scorpio woman carries a grudge like no one else. Any time anyone has done her wrong, made an off-color comment at her expense, or simply made her feel bad about herself, she has filed it away in her memory bank to be used as ammunition later.
This sign is terrible to get into a fight with, because they will pull out instances of betrayal from way back in the past. She carries her grudges as proof that she was right about the people around her all along, which can be an unfair way to live.
10 SAGITTARIUS MAN: Fear Of Commitment
If you say the word “relationship” out loud, chances are that any Sagittarius men within earshot will flee. This sign wants to be his own man and live his own life, and all too often his experience with relationships has been someone trying to control him and force him to be someone he isn’t.
He equates love and relationships with settling, and this fear of commitment has caused him to run out on or prematurely end things with many different partners over the years. He’s a master at ghosting and would rather be his own man than the “other half” in a couple.
9 SAGITTARIUS WOMAN: Scarred By All The Times She Was Held Down
Like her male counterpart, the Sagittarius woman is equally hesitant to engage in a relationship, but it’s because of all the times people have tried to control her or mold her into someone she’s not.
The Sag girl believes in experiencing as much of what life has to offer and needs someone who can come along for the ride. She’s not so afraid of commitment when she can have an equal partner and adventure-seeker. However, in the past, far too many of her exes have tried to tie her down and be a homebody, out of their own insecurities and need for stability. She refuses to do that ever again, and it can color how she approaches future relationships.
8 CAPRICORN MAN: Work, Work, Work
For the Capricorn man, work will always come first in his life. He has always been ambitious and determined, and those qualities may make him not the most present partner in a relationship.
For him, he sees his workaholism as an avenue to provide his partner and family with the best life possible, while also fulfilling personal goals he’s set for himself. For those he’s dated, however, they feel as though they are constantly playing second fiddle to his career, and trying to get him to make time for them is painful when they know he’d be much happier back at the office.
7 CAPRICORN WOMAN: Failure To Commit
A strong and reliable Earth sign, the Capricorn woman always does her best to be there. Sure, she likely has a lot of commitments and a packed schedule, but she does her best to make it to every birthday, wedding, baby shower, or dinner date.
Unfortunately, life can happen and she may have to cancel. While others might shrug this off, the Capricorn woman feels immense guilt for what she sees as letting her friends down because of her failure to commit to them. She wants to be in a million places at once and the fact that she simply can’t is her greatest source of pain.
6 AQUARIUS MAN: Making Bad Decisions
Despite being the sign to think most things through intellectually and logically, the Aquarius man can have a hard time letting go of all the times he made the wrong decision. He can attempt to do something one way and when that fails, he may go back to the drawing board or he may give up entirely.
This can have a major impact when it comes to his relationships, because he can find himself blaming only himself for its implosion. Sure, the relationship may have never worked to begin with, but he sees that it was his mistakes alone that caused its untimely demise.
5 AQUARIUS WOMAN: She’s Number One
The Aquarius woman likes to have a lot of things going on in her life to keep her occupied and entertained. This usually means she’s committed herself to various people, activities, and obligations, which gives her a full, rich life but can leave her partner feeling like he’s always coming second.
The Aquarius woman simply wants to do too much other than make her SO a huge priority. If they question her about this behavior, she may think they’re being too needy, which will cause her to run in the other direction. It’s not that she’s being selfish, she just appreciates her independence!
4 PISCES MAN: Staying Distant
The Pisces man doesn’t mean to act distant, it’s just that sometimes he can get so wrapped up in his own thoughts and daydreams that he kind of forgets what he’s doing, where he is, and who he’s with. For their partners, this can feel like a deliberate shutting out, but that’s rarely ever the case.
Pisces guys are usually thinking of a bunch of different things at once, which is why they can find it difficult to pay attention to the situation at hand. It can feel like he’s being cold or ignoring us, which is why communication is key with a Pisces guy to get him to understand how his actions make us feel.
3 PISCES WOMAN: Empathy Is A Curse
Pisces women are the type to love really hard and shoulder the burdens of those around them. They are incredibly empathetic, which is what makes them such great friends, but it means that they can often feel worn out and exhausted simply by listening to everyone’s problems and taking them on as their own.
In relationships, the Pisces woman often takes on the role of the “fixer.” She enjoys men with dark pasts that she can uncover and help heal, but this means that too many of her partners have felt like projects and less like people. When those relationships fail, she feels the loss deeply.
2 ARIES MAN: All The Times He Failed
The Aries man has an innate sense of competition. He loves the chase at the beginning of a relationship and he loves to win. Because of that, every time he’s failed – professionally or personally – he remembers the pain acutely. Whenever he doesn’t get to be the best, he carries that loss with him for a long time.
He thinks there’s no place worth getting unless it’s first, which means that relationships with him can feel like a competition where, if he slips up, he’s unwilling or unable to ever admit defeat, because he sees it as a weakness. He doesn’t understand that it’s a part of life (and love).
1 ARIES WOMAN: Leaping Before Looking
Impetuous and impulsive, the Aries woman has a bad habit of jumping headfirst into relationships without ever paying attention to the consequences. She’s been involved with friends’ exes, coworkers, best friends – whomever strikes her fancy at that moment in time.
Because of that, she’s experienced a lot of heartbreak and failure, which colors her subsequent relationships. She simply doesn’t put as much thought into them as is necessary and assumes that everything will work out for her in the end because, so far, it has. She doesn’t understand that her spontaneity can have a negative effect on those around her.