Ladies and men, everyone in between, neither/nor, etc, there’s no shame in admitting that we all get a little jealous sometimes. That jealousy is normal, even when it turns you into a vicious animal. Whether it’s because some girl stole your prom dress plan and rocked it better than you or because you found out your boyfriend was getting hot and heavy with someone else at the last Halloween party you two went to, jealousy can be totally justified. Sometimes it’s totally not though, which usually is the case with all those insecure boys out there. If you’re dating a guy that gets jealous, it can seem endearing at first. Even romantic and sweet. However, they can turn terrible pretty quick. Animalistic, even! We’ve managed to predict just how bad your boy will get the next time a bout of jealousy takes him over. Read through and see if you’re going to have to deal with a grouchy gorilla or a persnickety Pomeranian.
15. Here’s The Ugly Truth, Aquarius Men Are Like An Ostrich
Sorry, did you think that we’d be doing flattering animals? No way. Jealousy is ugly, which is why we’re only giving you the ugly truth. Aquarius men totally turn into the common ostrich when they’re jealous. It’s no secret, too. Because they like to stick with people, and they tend to live in their own little worlds, it’s easy to see the similarities. Ostriches don’t give up on something right away. If the ground is tough, they’ll dig their nests a little more vigorously. If they sense something is coming, they’ll hide their heads. “You can’t see me if I can’t see you” is a common phrase associated, with the ostrich, but it’s surprisingly untrue. Ostriches don’t bury their heads in the sand for protection, but they do get low to the ground and try to blend in. That’s the Aquarius way as well: They won’t approach you, but they will simmer in their jealous rage for a while.
14. Pisces Men Are Whiny Just Like A Screaming Deer
What’s better than a screaming deer? Nothing. It’s the perfect example of what it’s like for a Pisces man to get jealous, too. A little bit whiny, totally uncomfortable, and basically trying to steal back your attention just to whine a little bit more. If you find your Pisces guy getting unjustly jealous, don’t be surprised. They like the love and romance, which means they’re not super into “taking some space”. Deers are curious creatures, which is another reason the deer is the perfect match for Pisces men. As one of the more artistic signs, we see that the curiosity of the deer is well matched with this guy’s curious nature. Unfortunately, that curiosity can lead to some creative interpretations, which can definitely feed his jealousy pot. Siiigh. Just keep reassuring him and you’ll keep that yelling down.
13. Beware Of the Aries Man Who Can Be Vicious Like The Honeybadger
Aries men, you have the joy of being the one and only Honeybadger. The Honeybadgers don’t care what your intentions were; if honeybadger is jealous, honeybadger is JEALOUS. We’ve all seen the hilarious video with the voice over that illustrates all the ways in which honeybadgers are cool and awesome and don’t give a ****. But, remember, this honeybadger is also a vicious animal. They’re some killer beasts, and we wouldn’t want to face off with one in a dark alley. While that certainly adds to the hilarity of the video and voice over, it makes it pretty harsh when jealousy comes into play. Aries men are very direct. They can be forceful, and don’t always listen when someone is telling them a truth that doesn’t line up with the way they see things. It’s because of this that we’ve chosen the Honeybadger.
12. The Honey Badger… Part 2
It’s a vicious little critter that can change in an instant, causing a lot of pain and anger… On both sides. Sometimes even physically. If that’s the case, we recommend you reach out to someone. Jealousy is a strong substance. Many of us lose control when we get jealous, acting on impulse and reacting on a whim. It’s not a good idea to let that overwhelm, though. That’s when people get hurt. Aries, while often considered one of the more controlled signs, is actually very impulsive. They work off their gut instincts, which makes them prone to jealousy. All this is to warn you that while they might look cute and cuddly, there is a certain amount of viciousness underneath. Care more than your Honeybadger, and make sure to talk to your Aries man if he’s getting jealous… Or else you might end up totally wrecked!
11. Taurus Men Can Be As Venomous As The Cute Slow Loris
That’s not a sweet and endearing pet name we’re offering you for your man. Not at all. In fact, this little guy is anything but sweet. Endearing, sure, just like your Taurus man, but definitely nowhere close to being on the sugar scale. Slow lorises, surprisingly enough, are actually quite venomous. Most people don’t realize that they have such a killer instinct because they seem so big-eyed and cute. However, that’s what makes them so clever. The cuteness means that they’ve got some time to really prepare themselves for attack. They’re on the slow side (as the name states), which is a good thing when you’re a predator… Not so good if you actually catch one though. Slow lorises secrete venom from glands near their elbows, which they can then mix with saliva, rub through their hair, and ultimately protect themselves with.
10. The Slow Loris… Part 2
They sound pretty tough, right? That’s because they are! This is just like your man, the Taurus born lover who’s swept you off your feet. After getting swept away though, you’ll find that these guys are little more than what meets the eye. While you might see a strong, stable guy who likes his action movies and hiking, underneath you’ll find a man that’s been hurt once or twice before. This hurt might leave him a little protected, and he’ll try to poison the relationship if he starts to feel a hint of jealousy in the air. It’s not a bad thing, necessarily. While we’d rather he learned to use his words, actions are just as valid. No doubt you’ll find that he’s slowly but surely learning to trust again, and just needs some help working through unhealthy feelings. If you’re okay with talking through things slowly, you two will be fine. Just don’t get caught by that poison tongue!
9. Depending His Jealousy, Gemini Can Be Like A Screeching Hawks
The twins are here and there when it comes to emotional richness and life, which makes them a perfect pair for breeding jealousy. There’s only so much stabilizing they can do for themselves before they throw each other off kilter. Because they tend to switch back and forth between different responses, and sometimes different personalities, it can be hard to pinpoint exactly what Gemini is like when they’re jealous. If your Gemini man is really, really jealous of you he can turn into a stone-faced sloth. No expression, no connection, and inevitably climbing away from you. But if he’s angry-jealous at you, he’s much more inclined to turn into a screeching hawk; a little self-righteous, quickly flying away, and likely on the lookout for something to claw into. Be careful. He’s unpredictable, which means you’ll never know which animal you’re going to get.
8. Cancer Becomes Just As Annoying As Gabe the Dog
Can you guess who Gabe the Dog represents? This miniature American Eskimo/Pomeranian dog blend is the cutie pie who has barked out many of our favorite songs. A Youtube sensation, Gabe the Dog has expressed himself in ways that we only wish we could have done online. However, he’s definitely not the pure and complete dog that you might have thought. Some people really, really hate him and find him crazy annoying. His bark is worse than his bite, which makes him the perfect example of what happens when Cancers get jealous. Cancers tend to be calm and collected until things get too bad to ignore. These clever creatures love to overthink and don’t always love to chat about what’s going on in their lives. This makes them the perfect candidate to be Gabe the Dogs when they get jealous.
7. Gabe the Dog…Part 2
Good question. As we said, Cancers are calm, cool, and collected until they’re not. They get jealous easily and definitely hold suspicion in their heart. The suspicion gets to the point where it’s almost impossible for them to not think about it, which makes jealousy come very… VERY easily. The jealousy can get ridiculous, and it definitely shows its ugly head in the form of biting comments, digging questions, and suspicious hints that may or may not hurt you. Gabe the dog, with his yappy bark and annoying presence, represents your Cancer man’s jealous energy well. His comments are yappy barks, and his energy is very much similar to a Pomeranian dog. We can’t offer you any advice on how to quell the tiny beast, but we can recommend a good brand of dog treat or two.
6. Leo Men Are As Vicious As Killer Cobras
Vicious Leo, who loves to be the center of attention. While a Leo’s jealousy is common, it’s just as gross as other forms of jealousy from other zodiac types. The amount of venom that’s in a Leo’s jealousy is totally comparable (and maybe even inspired by) a cobra. Leos tend to be a little gossipy, which makes them more affectionately known as “snakes in the grass”. They’ll use whatever they can to their advantage, and get themselves set to take over the next time you show any sign of weakness. It’s just their way of getting ahead in life. You might think it’s gross, but Leos are so confident that they know it really doesn’t matter. If your guy gets jealous of something you’re doing, be prepared for him to lay low until he sees the best time to strike. He’ll pop out and use whatever you’ve done “wrong” (whether it’s true or not) to strike. Don’t let him get you– Stop that slithery snake before he gets under your feet.
5. Virgo Men Are Watchful Like The Mighty Owl
What does shy Virgo typically get? The quiet, the stressed out, the hard working, intelligent tropes that may or may not tell Virgo’s whole story. Virgo is a caring sign, one that won’t make a fuss even if things feel like they’re going wrong. Virgo might like to keep to himself, but he’s also happy to talk, smile, laugh, and connect with his lovely partner. That being said, he’s not the most open person in the world. That’s why our choice animal is the mighty owl. We love those big-eyed creatures, but there’s always more than meets those eyes. Owls always look like they have a secret. They keep things to themselves and watch, rather than letting things that bother them out. Virgos, because they like to stay closed up when things are wrong, are perfectly represented by owls when they’re jealous.
4. Libra Men Will Switch Just Like The Famous “ALAN! ALAN! ALAN!”
For those that haven’t seen it, the “Alan Alan Alan” marmot from BBC was a hilarious internet video that caused a huge sensation early in its release. It features someone dubbing over a BBC nature documentary segment of a marmot with the words “ALAN! ALAN! ALAN! ALAN!” etc. Halfway through the marmot realizes the friend it’s calling to is not Alan and switches his call to “STEVE! STEVE! STEVE!” This switch is very important, as it’s the reason we’ve chosen this little guy as our Libra animal. Libras don’t often get jealous because they’re usually pretty good at balancing their emotions. They can think through things rational and seldom make illogical jumps. When they do get thrown out of balance though, they’ll jump back and forth between jealousy and sincerity. Be prepared for your Libra lover to jump from not being jealous at all to calling you incessantly and making weird out-the-left-field claims. It’s okay, though. One day he’ll realize that he’s being ridiculous, and balance will be restored.
3. Scorpio Men Are Just Like Peacocks
Nothing is sharper than a Scorpio. They love their emotions, and they tend to get stuck feeling one thing over and over again. If you find a Scorpio is getting jealous at the beginning of the relationship, that’ll last for the rest of the relationship too. It’s just in Scorpio’s nature. They’re one of those groups that just can’t control themselves, especially when it comes to the distrust of someone close to them. A good way to think of these folks are as peacocks. While they wear everything on their sleeve, sometimes they’ll fold away their inner thoughts and shut people out without meaning to. Not to mention the fact that they won’t be persuaded to think any other way than the assumptions they’ve made. That’s one of the negative traits of a Scorpio; they’re stubborn. Luckily you’ll find that they are happy to work things through. They just need a little extra love first.
2. Sagittarius Men Act On Impulse Like The King Kangaroo
Hopping around from one experience to another, Sagittarius boys are almost never satisfied. They’re fans of the new experience, and let themselves get swept away in fantasy more than they should, in our opinion. Too many Sagittarius lovers have found themselves loving and being left or loving and leaving when the passion of the Sagittarius gets too intense for them. It’s when that passion turns sour that we see a Sagittarius man jealous. His animal is the mighty kangaroo. Kangaroos can be vicious and often act on impulse (as most animals do) rather than assessing the situation and deciding where the most danger or threat is. They’ll do anything to protect themselves, and it’s clear that Sagittarius men will do anything to protect their happiness; including hopping away! Better than the alternative…We’ve heard that kangaroos are nasty kickers, and we’d never want anyone to think that that’s okay.
1. Capricorn Men Turn Into Grumpy Cat
Been a while since you’ve heard those words? Yeah, we know. It’s been a while since this little guy has been popular, but he certainly lives on in the hearts and minds of many, especially those of us who really connected with this cat’s sage outlook on life. Capricorns are the people who really, really loved him. If you ask your Capricorn guy, you’ll find that he’s definitely one of the ones attached to Grumpy Cat. This is why we’ve decided that he’s the best representation for jealous Capricorns. Capricorns, when they’re jealous, don’t actually want to do anything. They get grumpy and quiet and will only complain if you try to drag them out of their funk. Grumpy cat is the king of funk, and he’s a great example of what it means to be stuck in pessimism. Our advice? Let your guy simmer. He’ll come around eventually; even grumpy cat shows his human love every now and then.
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