It's well-known that guys will usually say one thing but mean another thing entirely. They're not the greatest when it comes to communication (okay, there are rare circumstances where this is not the case), which means that a woman will constantly be deciphering what her beau is trying to say.
It can be frustrating and, at times, a bit obnoxious. But that's just the problem we take on when we enter the world of dating and decide to commit ourselves to another person.
Things become even more confusing when it comes to the first initial stages of dating. There are conversations that start out as purely friendly while others evolve into something more, but the process of getting there is somewhat convoluted and weird.
Women do this really cool thing where we overthink literally everything, which makes life far harder than it should be. That's why we've done our due diligence for everyone who's trying to come up with their own text code-breaker—we've created the ultimate list for reference.
Obviously, these should be taken with a grain of salt because a guy will occasionally mean exactly what he says. What about the rest of the time, though? Keep reading for every 'what if' scenario.
21 'You Up?' Yes, But Not To Talk To You
If this is coming from a guy who isn't one a woman is currently dating, it could signal trouble on the homefront. A text that comes in after midnight with any phrasing similar to 'you up' is usually one that means he's incredibly bored or one that's indicative of his current prey drive.
Either way, it's definitely not as thoughtful as, 'hey, I couldn't sleep and was just thinking about you.' Basically, it's a lazy text intended to provoke a quick response with not nearly enough effort to be considered exciting or worth it. There are plenty of texts that mean more and this isn't one of them.
20 'Hey, Stranger!' Exactly, That's Why We Aren't Friends
We were convinced that the 'hey stranger!' text was long gone with the days of oversized hoops and flared jeans but apparently, we were wrong. Rather than this habit going out of style, it just managed to stick around, similar to the guys who actually use it. Sending off this text is basically a warning sign to all girls that you're either about to be in a messy situation should they respond, or they're about to get a follow-up 'u there' text.
Either way, it's still not the greatest of texts to receive. Saying 'hey stranger' is an easy way to be 'cute' while also implying that the guy completely ghosted you but is testing the waters now that he's bored.
19 'Sorry, Totally Got Busy!' Yeah, We've Heard That One Before
It's just simply not true. We have all used this excuse... multiple times. Claiming that he just 'got busy' is a great way of saying he had a better offer or simply didn't care enough to text back. Especially when the conversation has gotten long-winded or a bit more serious than he expected.
This is a good way of showing just how much he cares (which is not that much) without actually coming clean about the fact that he just didn't want—or feel the need—to text back immediately. In the world of quick texters, unlimited data, and the three 'typing' dots, there's really no excuse for being lazy or uninterested.
18 'You're A Great Person.' But That's About It
It kind of sucks when a woman gets this text in her inbox. It's no different than saying, 'it's not you, it's me.' Basically, he's saying you're a nice girl—for someone else. You have to give them credit, though—guys really do try when it comes to attempting not to hurt a girl's feelings... well, most of them do, anyway.
The problem is that they're caught between being honest while also wanting to avoid confrontation. That results in texts like this that basically get the point across without needing to go too much into detail. It also gets them off the hook for not being interested, which is the main point of a text like this, after all.
17 'Ha' The Only Thing Shorter Than 'K'
Yikes. A 'ha' text is your typical 'I didn't find this too funny but I know I need to respond with something, so here's what you get' response. There have even been times where we've used this text to efficiently end a conversation. For some reason, a double 'ha' means that we're interested and truly found a text funny while one that flies solo is just nerve-wracking and partially insulting.
No one wants a conversation to end on a 'ha' note because really, what do you say back to that? Other than adding the other 'ha' to it, there's not much left to say besides 'bye Felicia.'
16 'That's Weird/Cool' A Classic Response For Having Nothing To Say
In the early 2000s, it seemed like everyone going around saying 'that's cool!' was all the rage. For some reason, we couldn't bring ourselves to find another positive descriptor. It was our generation's response to the 'that's rad!' of the '90s, which, of course, was the response to the 'that's tubular!' of the '80s. Now, we just pass it along in text form.
When it comes from a guy, though (especially after a girl has already typed a paragraph) it's a sign that he literally has nothing else to add. It doesn't mean that he's uninterested, per se, but it definitely means the conversation is quickly approaching the danger zone.
15 'Nice' A One-Word Description To End The Convo
If you're having flashbacks of a prior conversation that ultimately ended in 'nice' and never recovered, then you likely already know where this one is headed. 'Nice' is the conversation ender of all conversation enders. It's worse than 'ha' and 'that's cool' combined because 'nice' implies the most generic response possible, zero interest, and a lack of effort on the part of actually formulating a response.
Texting can definitely be overanalyzed, but there's just no overanalyzing with this one... what you read is what you get. Pushing the conversation will only lead to embarrassment and trying to save it will likely only generate more 'blah' responses.
14 'We Should Chill Soon. Are You Doing Anything Tonight?' Means Netflix And Chill, Basically
It's not unusual for a guy to ask a girl to hang out. What counts is the way in which he does it, which can be very telling. There are casual ask-outs and formal ask-outs, so take a guess as to which one this is... that's right! Casual. The problem arises when a guy suggests hanging out 'soon' and then implies the same day as 'soon.'
Most people suggest either one or the other but stringing the two together can give way to his intentions. It's somewhat pushy (especially if there was no conversation prior) and also comes off as a bit rude to pose last-minute plans. In high school, maybe we would let it fly—but not as mature adults.
13 'It's Been A While, What's Up?' Your Name Came Up In His Contacts And Piqued His Curiosity
A word of caution: this doesn't always mean something bad! While it is curious that a guy would randomly text someone and make clear that it's been a while, it's not always a poor attempt at getting with someone. Sometimes, it's just a classic guy reaction to finding someone in his contacts he hasn't spoken to in a while.
A person receiving this type of text will simply need to pay attention to how the conversation plays out before making a judgment call. If it's someone she has a history with, however, then that's another story entirely. He's definitely not just asking as a friend.
12 'It's Cool That You Have A Boyfriend, We're Just Friends' Basically Means He's Outtie
In all honesty, this is probably one of the last texts a girl will receive from him before being ghosted. If a guy is obviously trying to be more than friends with someone and finds out she's off-limits, there's no polite way to break the news. This is a good way to get out of actually being friends if you're a guy, without looking too much like a loser.
Soon after this, the texts will likely become far and few between and eventually, he'll have faded out of the picture completely. Some guys might stick around for a while, but it's not likely once they've hit a wall like another guy in the picture.
11 'Let's Grab T-Bell, I'm Broke' He Is Definitely Not Relationship-Ready
Let's get one thing straight first: we all love the Bell. This is not a way to insult or imply tacos are bad (because they're life) but it is a way to let every woman know that she's worth more than a $1 burrito. After all, most authentic Tex-Mex places serve 'em up for $4 anyway. A guy's financial situation should have no bearing on his date-ability or whether or not he'd be a good partner.
However, when his financial status begins to interfere or knock the relationship down a notch, that's when a flag should be thrown. The excuse of constantly being 'broke' will eventually cease to be an excuse and turn into a lifestyle... You deserve better.
10 'So What Were You Up To?' He's Subtly Scoping Out The Competition
It could mean that he was genuinely interested in how a girl spent her weekend. Or it could mean that he knows she went out and is trying to gauge his chances because he wasn't with her. This is yet another text that could go either way, but the underlining factor is that he's interested in something about a woman's life.
If she's interested in him, too, this definitely isn't the time to drop the fact that she was hanging out with a group of guy friends. It's also not the time to be anything but vague, because there's no law saying she needs to open up immediately.
9 'Taking A Rain Check, Something Came Up' It Wasn't An Emergency, He Just Got A Better Offer
This is one heck of a loaded text. Emergencies that we don't account for do happen and we've all likely been in a position when we've had to cancel last-minute. However, most of us make it known that it was an emergency and there was simply no avoiding it. A text like this one is too vague to be trusted and the promise of a 'rain date' doesn't really mean much without a suggested time or day.
Using the excuse that 'something came up' isn't really descriptive, either, implying that he has no other reason to cancel plans. Either he got a better offer somewhere else, or he's just not feeling it and doesn't want to carry on a potential relationship.
8 'Can I Ask You Something?' This Is The Time To Be Nervous
Guys are weird humans. They don't always understand things immediately and can detail an entire baseball play but not remember their anniversary date. All of that aside, they're pretty bad at communication, too. So when a text like 'can I ask you something' comes up, it's time to pay attention because it can go wildly wrong or ecstatically good.
The bad news is that he might be about to ask something uncomfortable and awkward. The good is that he might ask about your past, a potential relationship, or even on a date. There's just no way of telling aside from where the two of you might be in your current status.
7 Or 'Weird Question For You...' You're About To Be Uncomfortable
And here we have a wild man, doing what he does best—being super strange. Once again, it's that pesky communication thing that gets us good when it comes to trying to understand the nature of men. In contrast to the 'can I ask you something' text, the 'weird question for you' gives a girl everything she needs to know about the road ahead.
Basically, a guy is going to ask something that he probably shouldn't be asking and is using the cover of 'weird' as an excuse to pull the trigger on it. Prepare accordingly and, if necessary, ready the block button in case things go to a whole new level of uncomfortable.
6 'Come Through Tonight!' He's Already Planning On Convincing You
This is classic early 2000s lingo for those of us who remember, and chances are if he's still using this? He, himself, is a bit outdated for a serious relationship. Telling a girl to 'come through' is kind of like mistaking her for one of the guys, which is definitely a mistake right off the bat. It's not the most polite way to ask a girl out but if they're just friends, it's fine.
However, if there's something more there, it's not really getting off to a great start. Depending on what the plans are, this could either mean nothing for him or just a way to increase his friend group. Choose wisely.
5 'What's The Deal With <Insert Friend Here>?' A Cheap Way Of Getting a Date
First of all, asking a girl about her friends is a massive turn-off. Secondly, it's something that really shouldn't be done, especially if they have a history or if there were any feelings involved. Sometimes it happens, though, and the best thing we can do is be prepared for that eventual texts.
What's more important is the way a woman responds to this one. She has one of two choices: either go for it and pave the way to set them up or respond vaguely or with other questions such as 'why are you asking?' In reality, it's not any woman's job to set up a guy she had feelings for with a girl she's close to.
4 'Good Morning, Beautiful' Either Really Cheesy Or Really Sweet
The only reason it could be cheesy is that this line is used quite often. You know, in movies, TV shows, commercials... Regardless, if a guy is confident enough to use it, then we just need to give credit where credit is due. It's a good line, to say the least, and one that has many girls swooning.
It's a cute way to say 'hey' to someone first thing in the morning and it's not the worst text to wake up to, by any means. In fact, he could even be a keeper if he uses this one early on in the relationship. It's basically like saying, 'hey, you're cute, I was thinking about you.' And that's pretty sweet.
3 'I'll Let You Know' He Will Likely Not Be Letting You Know
This text is most commonly thrown around when a girl asks a guy to do something and he, well, just doesn't want to. In an effort to be kind and not shut a girl down immediately, he'll likely respond with 'I'll let you know' which is basically 'yeah I don't think so but I'll be nice about it anyway.'
It's not the end of the world, but it's definitely the end of those plans and any similar plans. It's not something to take offense to because, in reality, it's a pretty polite text, all things considered. He could have responded with, 'that sounds really boring so I'm good,' but he didn't. That's something, right?
2 'How's Your Day Going?' He's Genuinely Trying To Get To Know You
Very similar to the 'good morning, beautiful' text, this one is super sweet when you think about it. Texting anyone—relationship status or not—'how's your day going?' is a really kind way of caring about a person. If a guy sends this, it shows that he's apt to pay attention and is in-tune with the fact that a girl is a living, breathing human being who has a life just like anyone else.
It's a nice way of wanting to be part of that life and letting her know that he's there to talk to. This text is absolutely a good sign and one that any woman would be thrilled to get throughout the day.
1 'Are You Busy This Weekend?' He's Serious About Dating You
This text is the difference between the immediate ask-out and the 'come through!' text. This is what a guy should send rather than the other two, which will only imply that he's too immature to truly commit. A text that's sent out well in advance, is politely asking about a girl's schedule, and leaves time to be considered is one that's golden and foolproof.
There's nothing hidden in this message (not likely, anyway) and it's casual, yet totally respectful and worthy of being responded to. Not every text needs to have hidden subtext—something we, as a generation, should consider more often.