Vampire Diaries: 20 Things That Don't Add Up About Elena And Stefan's Relationship

We just about saw every monster in creation in Vampire Diaries and it was common for humans and vampires to interact. The very first relationship between vampire and human that we saw on the show was between Elena Gilbert and Stefan Salvatore. The town of Mystic Falls was a tranquil one before Stefan saved Elena from the same car accident that took her parents' lives. After that, he couldn’t seem to stay away from her. The two met and sparks flew between them, and it wasn’t long before they were inseparable. The once peaceful town became overrun by monsters because Stefan stayed in town.

Because of her relationship with Stefan, Elena's family and friends got drawn into the supernatural world and some of them became vampires, witches and wolves themselves. At the beginning at least, it seemed as if Elena and Stefan were meant to be. As their relationship carried on, however, we saw a lot of flaws in the logic that these two belonged together.

There was a bunch of things that happened throughout their relationship that raised a few eyebrows. Check out these 20 things that just don’t add up about Elena and Stefan’s relationship on Vampire Diaries.

20 They Are Clueless About Their Own Origins

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Neither Stefan nor Elena seemed to have much of an idea about their origins, which didn’t make a whole lot of sense. When Stefan met Elena, he had no idea that she was a Petrova doppelgänger. In all fairness neither did Elena, but considering Stefan is 161 years old and was involved with Katherine you would have thought that over all those years he would have learned about doppelgängers.

Elena also should have learned all about vampires at a young age. Elena’s uncle, John Gilbert, was taught to dislike vampires as a child so you would have thought that Elena would have been raised the same way. Why did her family keep that a secret from her?

19 Elena Looks Exactly Like Stefan’s Ex And He Totally Digs It

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Obviously, the first thing that attracted Stefan to Elena was the uncanny resemblance to his ex, Katherine. But you would have thought he would have stayed far away from her for that very reason. Katherine had been cruel to Stefan and broke his heart, so why would he be so drawn to Elena?

He eventually had to tell Elena about his ex but he assured her that he was interested in her for more than her looks. Awkward. The worst part was that Stefan was constantly comparing her to Katherine almost as if they were a pair and not individuals.

18 Stefan’s Body Count Is Much Higher Than Damon’s

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Damon got a lot of flak over the years for being the bad boy, the one who always did things wrong. Stefan was always thought of as the good vampire, the moral one. Damon was always compared to his brother and thought of as someone who didn’t deserve to have good people in his life. But it was Stefan who was a Ripper and not Damon.

A Ripper was a vampire who couldn't stop drinking from humans once he started which meant he caused a lot of drama. Sure, Stefan had regrets about what he did, but Damon wasn’t that way at all. Elena loved Stefan even though he really was a bad guy.

17 Too Much Teen Angst For 150-Year-Old Vampires

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We certainly expected to have some teen angst in the show because we were dealing with teen drama, but we were also dealing with vampires who were more than 100 years old. It seemed like the angst became worse when we were dealing with vampires. The worst part was that these vampires seemed to be the ones starting all the problems!

When it came to Stefan, everything revolved around Elena. He was overprotective, jealous and seemed to want to become a martyr for her. Vampires do have heightened senses but after living for so long, you would think that he would be exhausted from all the drama he caused.

16 Stefan Knows From The Beginning He Should Avoid Elena

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Stefan knew right from the beginning that he should stay away from Elena. He was a vampire and she was a human, and we all know that dating a vampire can put your life in danger. Their relationship changed Elena’s life and some of her friends completely.

He, of course, ignored his instincts and went after her anyway. He fell in love with her and even at one point tried to leave town but that never worked out for him. If Stefan really loved her, wouldn’t he have left and not disrupted her life so much?

15 Stefan Doesn’t Treat Elena Very Well

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During Season Three, Stefan became obsessed with Klaus. He disappeared and didn’t call or write during that time. He finally came back only to have Klaus turn off his humanity. He was sworn to protect Elena but he treated her badly the entire time.

Elena stood by her man because she knew his switch had been flipped. When Stefan finally got his humanity back, instead of devoting himself to making things up to Elena, he went after Klaus again. Elena remained devoted to Stefan the entire time even though she had every reason in the world to drop him.

14 He’s Way Too Old For Her

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The same questions were raised when the Twilight franchise came out. Why in the world would someone over 100 years old want to date a teenager?

Sure, Stefan looks like one and he has to pretend to be one, but really, intellectually, he would not have been on the same playing field as Elena.

He would have been worldly and experienced and there should have been no reason why he was even interested in her. If he'd looked his age, there would have been a lot of people against their relationship. Stefan should have known better and dated an older woman.

13 Elena’s Aunt Doesn’t Care If She Has Sleepovers

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Elena’s parents weren’t around so she was being looked after by a family member. Elena was just a high school student and yet Stefan had sleepovers at her place all the time. She might not have had a typical lifestyle anymore, but it just didn’t make sense for her Aunt Jenna to allow such a thing.

Elena was not an adult and we’re sure Jenna would not want a teen pregnancy on her hands. She was responsible for Elena’s care and it just wasn’t logical that Stefan spent so much time in Elena’s home without any concerns.

12 They Both Stopped Journaling

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The TV show was called Vampire Diaries after all, and at the beginning of the series we saw both Elena and Stefan journaling about their lives. It was one of the main things they had in common and Elena felt that it connected them in a way. They used the diaries at the beginning of the series as a way for both characters to narrate the storyline.

But after a while, we no longer saw either of them journaling which didn’t make sense because people who do journal don’t just give that up. It didn’t make sense that they both let that part of themselves go.

11 Stefan Goes After Her When She’s At Her Most Vulnerable

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Elena was certainly known as a strong character throughout the series but after her parents died, she was the most vulnerable than she had ever been. That was also when Stefan decided to swoop in.

Grief can be a terrible thing and it can make us do things we wouldn’t normally do. Elena didn’t really learn to live without her parents, instead she just replaced them with Stefan who became her world at that point. Stefan was there at her most vulnerable time and took advantage of that. He may not have done it purposely but he could have also given her some space to grieve.

10 Stefan Is A Stick In The Mud

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It’s actually hard to believe that Stefan and Elena got together in the first place because Stefan wasn’t that much fun to be around. Women always say they want to be with the brooding and mysterious guy, but in reality that can be an exhausting experience.

Before she lost her parents, Elena was known as a fun-loving girl so it was weird that she would want to hang with a guy who was morose most of the time. The most carefree that Stefan was, was when he was a Ripper and that also made him dangerous. It was no wonder that Elena eventually fell for Damon.

9 Elena Falls For A Man She Doesn’t Know At All

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Right from the beginning, Elena tried to get to know Stefan but he wasn’t giving her much. There were times when Stefan refused to talk about himself and even dodged personal questions. Of course, he was a vampire but if he truly believed he was going to date her, the gig would've had to have been up sooner rather than later.

Before she even got him to open up, it seemed as if Elena had fallen for him already. We’re not sure what made her fall in love so quickly since she really knew very little about who he was. She discovered his past on her own but forgave him for all his lies.

8 They Just Break Up Too Many Times

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If you were a couple that broke up all the time and then got back together, you would have to ask yourself if you weren’t better off apart. Stefan and Elena got four seasons out of their relationship, but there were a lot of breakups involved during that time that kept them apart.

There were at least five separate times where they broke up and it was kind of embarrassing that they just kept getting back together again.

7 She Has A Connection To His Brother Damon

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Sometimes the bad boy gets the girl and that was certainly the case for Damon. No one really liked Damon when he came to town, including his own brother. Against her better judgment, Elena started to bond with Damon. Even though she was in a relationship with Damon’s brother, it was undeniable that she was attracted to Damon.

Elena tried hard to be Damon’s friend even though he often did some unforgivable things that affected her. She was drawn to him and always forgave his misdeeds. She needed Damon in a way that was very different from what she and Stefan had.

6 Their Conversations Focus On Vampires

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These were teenagers who were in high school and yet we didn’t see too many conversations about what life was actually like for them and what went on at school. We rarely even saw them in class or doing school work!

Stefan had brought so much danger into her life that it seemed like they were dealing with one vampire crisis after another. There was no time to think about high school drama when Elena was trying to keep her friends and family alive on a regular basis. It made for an interesting show, but it wasn’t that realistic for a bunch of teens.

5 Elena’s Life Revolves Around Stefan

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Before the death of her parents, Elena had a life of her own. She was involved in things like cheerleading and the Miss Mystic Falls pageant. Her friends, such as Caroline, were involved in all sorts of activities. But then, when Stefan and her got closer, Elena seemed not to be interested in anything but him.

At one point she tried to get her old life back but also admitted that she held no real interest in it anymore. She stated it was because her parents were gone but it probably also had a lot to do with the fact that she was involved in all of Stefan’s pursuits.

4 Stefan Followed Her Around Before Meeting Her

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Stefan followed Elena around for some time before they dated and in the real world that would have meant that she should have avoided him. He admitted to Elena at one point that he did this as well as the fact that he was the one who'd rescued her from the car accident.

He explained that he was curious about her and because of following her around he was able to determine that she was an amazing person. Romantic? Not so much. He crossed the line in many ways and actually made himself sound like a weirdo. Handsome guys can get away with so much more on TV, but in RL a guy like Stefan would've been a red flag!

3 They Are Friends After She Starts Dating His Brother

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In the real world, if a girl left a guy to pursue a relationship with his brother, there would probably be a lot of tension for a long time. But that was not the case with the love triangle Elena had with Damon and Stefan. Since Stefan thought she was his soul mate, he must have been heartbroken to see her fall for his brother.

At some point, Stefan had to let go of the idea of being with Elena and they eventually built a close friendship. It was a little weird to think that the only boys interested in Elena throughout the series were brothers but even weirder that they would all remain friends.

2 She’s Always In Trouble Around Him

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Being with Stefan didn’t ever seem to be a good thing for Elena because he brought a lot of drama with him. She was literally a target throughout the series because anyone who wanted to get even with Stefan would just go after Elena. It didn’t just affect her, but her friends and family too.

We thought for a while that their love would survive anything but that wasn’t the case. Her life was never safe with Stefan in it and she saw that when Katherine compelled Jenna to take her own life. It was not always fun having a vampire boyfriend.

1 She Really Shouldn’t Trust Him

via Teste-dich

Stefan, throughout the series, proved to Elena that she really couldn’t trust him. When he got addicted to drinking from humans, he did a lot of terrible things, some of which were to Elena. But, she continued to trust in him and the fact that everything would be okay.

She trusted him so much that even when she kept him in the basement to get him “off the drug” of humans, she truly believed he wouldn’t hurt her. She did a lot of foolish things thinking that she was safe with him, and she shouldn’t have.

Sources: Screen Rant

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