Honor A Past Love By Naming A Cockroach After Them For Valentine's Day

What better way to honor an ex on Valentine's Day than to name a cockroach, one of the vilest pests in the insect kingdom, after an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend. Just like the memory of your ex, roaches will be around forever. Proven to be physically able to withstand a nuclear blast, it’s not easy getting rid of the revolting creatures (still taking about the ex). But there is a way to make the experience more cathartic.

Now, if you live in the UK, for a mere £1.50, roughly $2, you can name a cockroach at the Hemsley Conservation Centre after your beloved ex. The center, located in Located in Fairseat, Kent, approximately 30 miles southwest of London, allows patrons to name one of the residents of its cockroach enclosure.

The name of your former flame will be posted on the roach board for all to see. You will also receive a certificate, which grants you entry to the conservatory in case you need to have a heart to heart with your ex. By the way, the certificate reads, "I’ve named a cockroach at the Hemsley Conservation Centre in the not so loving memory of my worthless ex!"

If you live the US, you can choose to commemorate the memory of your ex by naming a Madagascar hissing cockroach (sounds appropriate) at the Bronx Zoo for $15. The Madagascar roach can reach up to four inches long, making it one of the world’s largest roach species.

Naming a cockroach will entitle you to a digital certificate featuring the name of your ex. Though the zoo recommends naming a roach after a loved one, you will probably find that these repulsive bugs remind you more of the one that (thankfully) got away.

The zoo currently has 50,000 Madagascar hissing cockroaches in its Madagascar exhibit. That should pretty much cover all your past relationships. The Bronx Zoo also offers sells roach-themed beanies, enamel pins, and mugs, for those hoping to have a memento that reminds them of their past love.

“The Bronx Zoo’s Name-A-Roach promotion is a light-hearted, fun way to reach out to someone on Valentine’s Day to let them know that you are thinking about them,” said John F. Calvelli of the Wildlife Conservation Society in a statement. “Nothing lasts longer than a roach, so it could be sent as a symbolic gesture about how long your love will last or exactly the opposite.”

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The donations help fund the Wildlife Conservation Society and the Bronx Zoo. “Some might say that love is like a roach — elusive, resilient, and sometimes very scary,” Calvelli said. At least he's right about the scary part.

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