We live in a world that obsesses over the best Instagram photo, who has the best style, makeup tips to enhance your natural beauty and overall incessantly reinforces low self-esteem amongst women. Women have a tendency to emulate the idea into believing that somehow looking a certain way will translate into people loving you more. Society paints a picture of how people -- especially women should look and act.
Sure it is fun to dress up every once and awhile, and post pictures, and staying healthy and fit is great too but when you become so obsessed over the attention that women suddenly become plastic dolls. Everyone has their insecurities and flaws are what makes us who we are. But the constant depiction of how women should look can really affect your overall self-esteem. It is easy to get swept up in all the antics but being self-aware is a good thing and being able to be confident in your own skin is even more amazing. Still, it can get difficult sometimes, the majority of women and their insecurities can actually cause jealousy and really take a toll on their self-esteem. Being insecure is normal, below is a list of 15 things women feel most insecure about, take a look:
Woman are always comparing themselves to each other; "her hair is so long and luscious", "why is she so fit?" and the many questions that follow on a daily basis. We criticize and obsess over the definition of beauty. Women aren't comparing themselves because they are shallow, often it is something way deeper, we are perceived in that way by default. If I had a dollar for every time someone pulled up a photo on Instagram and said "I wish I looked like her" I'd be one rich little panther. But the reality of it is that we all do it, we all desperately try to change our appearance all for the sake of how society perceives us. It is true, we live in a very plastic world. We become crazy over the best makeup, how can women ever be happy when they look themselves in the mirror if they are constantly being compared to other women. Women crave to have Kylie Jenner lips-- FYI big lips are terrifying and no one naturally looks like that! And just because celebrities look glamorous all the time doesn't mean they don't have insecurities. Women categorize other women the moment they meet each other, we group them based on our own perceptions we see the different levels of physical attractiveness. In fact, we tend to treat others differently based off of their appearances rather than who they really are. They can have a major effect on women's self-esteem in more ways than one.
Women constantly stare at themselves in the mirror, obsessing over any red bumps they find on their face and other parts of their bodies. Women worry more about acne than men do, which is why half the time we load up on tons of makeup just to cover up the unwanted little bumps or scars. Blemishes suck, but unfortunately, many women have to deal with the extreme amount of them and we try just about anything to hide them or get rid of them. Did you know that resorting to covering your blemishes up with makeup can, in fact, make it worse? Acne is something that a lot of women feel insecure about and often we will hide away in our bedrooms until the darn things go away. Some women, the curse of acne is worse and there really isn't anything you can do to get rid of them. Suggestion, washing your face when you wake up and before you go to bed is something that can reduce acne. By using warm water over the affected area to rinsing with cold water, this helps alleviate the swelling. Many women hate talking about their acne because to them it is embarrassing and isn't exactly a topic they want to share with others. But we must remember that beauty and youth are only temporary, women should be gravitating towards simplicity instead, we worry about how we look and the amount of makeup we need to cover up our true beauty.
The feeling of meeting the man you thought could be the man of your dreams suddenly considers you unworthy and doesn't take the time to really know all the amazing things about you. This can be a bit disheartening and make you think that you are undesirable. We all want to find that someone that takes our breath away and makes us feel like the most important person in the world but often the one you want doesn't always feel the same. For women we feel a sense of vulnerability, letting the man in and then end up having our hearts broken or feeling unloved. Being unloved, unworthy, and undesirable are a woman's worst nightmare, we crave the ability to be desirable and are in a constant battle of measuring ourselves up with the desirability of other women. This can send your heart strings into a straight frenzy because you know how beautiful, smart, and amazing you are but when the guy pulls away you start to wonder if he no longer desires you. Being undesirable is one of the top insecurities that women have. Women tend to dwell on the qualities they lack rather than focusing on what they do have. Women feel the need to constantly be reassured by men that they are desirable for more than just their body, most women require physical attention so it is no wonder we feel most insecure when we believe men don't desire us for not only who we are but also how we look.
12 The Size Of Their Girls
Whether you have huge ta-tas or lack thereof, you are unsatisfied all thanks to gravity. Women's boobs come in all shapes and sizes and there is no determining whether or not you will grow to have them big or small. In this type of society being flat chested can be embarrassing for some women and cause them to become insecure. But did you know that even women with bigger chests are just as insecure as women with a lack of them? Many women think that if their mothers and their mother's mother's have big ta-tas then they will grow to have them big too, but studies have shown that this isn't always a guarantee. Granted, yes genetics does play a big part in your size, genes from your mother as well as genes from your father can play some contribution to your size but as mentioned above there is no guarantee. Having bigger boobs can be an insecurity because they can often lead to back pains, difficulty finding cute bras let alone any bra to fit comfortably and lastly when working out they giggle everywhere which can cause soreness which leads to not having much fun. Learning to embrace the size you were given is a beautiful thing, still, some women feel the need to enhance their size in order to feel more confident within themselves. This isn't necessarily a bad thing but it is definitely an insecurity that many women deal with on a daily basis.
Most women are insecure about their weight, due to the fact that society says you must look like a Victoria's Secret Supermodel. Women always want to be skinnier, it does not matter how gorgeous they are when they look into the mirror or constantly see photos of models online they instantly feel self-conscious and believe they are overweight. Women constantly search for the latest, newest, and best diet fads. We are surrounded every single day by images of fit, healthy, and thin bodies that we know we may never measure up to looking exactly like that. Often, women forget that our bodies are different and that someone who looks thin may have a difficult time gaining weight whereas others it may be difficult to lose the weight. But these images we perceive aren't reality. We desperately compare ourselves to others without any realization, we comment on what others are eating or how they look. Women tend to put these insecurities out into the universe believing that it will temporarily help them feel better about themselves. We scrutinize every little detail of the female body and the constant obsession of 'who has the best body' only makes things worse. The desire to be "perfect" and slender dominates a wide population of females. It is common to develop an insecurity if other females in your household or friends have insecure body images and this type of negativity and insecurity will only perpetuate itself.
We all obsess over the slight notation that we have cellulite, but the funny thing is that men actually rarely notice the little imperfections your skin has. It's because women tend to exaggerate the proportions of the imperfections you find. Who cares if your body isn't completely smooth in every area, or that you don't even come close to looking like a supermodel. Want to know a little secret?-- it's photoshopped! So stop obsessing over stretch marks and cellulite and any small dimples you find. But since most women who do have cellulite are very insecure-- as in they sometimes don't even want to wear shorts or a bikini, well lucky for you there are some remedies to get rid or reduce cellulite. Cellulite is actually just fat that has settled underneath your skin allowing it to look bumpy and wrinkly. Did you know by rubbing an orange peel to the affected area you can actually get rid of cellulite? It also goes with eating oranges, drinking orange juice-- it is actually quite fascinating to think that we stress over these minor glitches to our bodies when in fact we can actually reduce many of them. Some women will buy into the hundreds of dollars worth of creams that you see on television commercials stating how they will get rid of your cellulite but those are all gimmicks.
Rachel Zoe once said, "Style is who you are without having to speak." Women constantly feel as if they need some sort of validation. Having the latest top fads can really set you apart and up high on a pedestal. A lot of people like to assume that women dress to impress men, and although that may be slightly true it isn't entirely. Because let's be honest here-- men don't really care what you are wearing if they like you and are attracted to you that is all that matters to them. Women dress to impress other women. A true fact that has been brought down from generation after generation, we live to have the best style and to always be on top of our A-game. You see a girl walking down the street, you notice her shoes and instantly fall in love-- your first thought is to ask where she got them, and second you almost hate her for having such perfect style. But style can also have its negative effects, while some may be jealous of your impeccable taste others just look at you and wonder if a rainbow threw up on you or if you forgot to look in the mirror. Not having your style up to par can be a major insecurity, women secretly love the idea of other women being jealous of their taste in fashion. Another thing, women LOVE labels, anything that screams designer and we are all over it. Women dress to kill-- too bad it didn't kill the insecurities that come with them.
8 How We Look In Photos
We live in a world where everything is digitalized and how you appear on your social media photos is equivalent to how you look in real life. But the crazy thing is, women feel most insecure about how they look in their photos-- that are generally just a snapshot taken in a moment in time, but instead we look at them as a depiction of how you really appear and what you will be remembered by. Women take hundreds of selfies a day, and only post one photo! The amount of work that goes into looking good for just one selfie is insane. So many of us do it and we all worry if we have the right filter, perfect caption, erase any blemishes-- you name it there is an app to hide it. It's easy to be scrolling through Instagram and notice a photo perhaps of a friend or a stranger and you instantly think "wow she's perfect!" and yes she may be beautiful but that doesn't mean that she looks like that on the daily. Once upon a time there weren't any social media to depict how you should look, photos were just for special moments. But now you have to have your eyebrows on fleek, your Kim Kardashian contour at all times, and your Kylie Jenner lips to the T. Women become insecure because god forbid you go somewhere and photos are being taken, you may feel like it is your responsibility to "look good." It's called a spotlight effect, and it is no wonder so much insecurity is born.
7 Constant Comparison
"His ex was so pretty-- I can never compare" and so many women echo these words from time to time. The constant comparison between yourself and other women can really put a damper on not only your relationships but your overall self-esteem. Sure his ex may be pretty, but remember they broke up for a reason and he chose you, right? Still, there is the gut wrenching feeling that you aren't as perfect as other women and that can really mess with your confidence. Comparing yourself to other women like his ex, his new girlfriend, your friends, even a stranger is like adding fuel to the fire-- these comparisons are kerosene and the fire is every single insecurity you have and can turn you into a very suspicious monster if you let it take control of that ego of yours. As many women have this insecurity it is best not to compare yourself to others, after all, you are who you are and nothing or no one can change that. Why is it that women feel the need to compare and contrast each other? It is like some competition when we should be cheering each other on not tearing each other down. Women compare themselves anywhere from their clothes, hair, body, even significant others. A little known fact, no women in the universe is happy unless she is showcasing her femininity to the world. And women often feel overwhelmed with feeling as if they aren't good enough.
6 Physical Intimacy
Another commonly known insecurity that women have is that they want to be desirable. Often women wonder if their own 'bedroom expertise' is up to par and they fear that their partner will become uninterested if their performance isn't adequate. But did you know that physical intimacy is more than just that-- it is about a shared emotion, a raw connection, you become physical to show them how much you love them. There is no need to get all Fifty Shades for your man unless you are into that sort of thing. It is a beautiful thing when you are enjoying it with the one you love and there is no reason to be some pro at it, your man won't expect that from you as long as you two are honest there is no reason to feel insecure. Let's say your new man tells you a story about intimate moments with his ex, crazy Fifty Shades type of stories, you start to panic that you may not be as experienced. Women crave intimacy in their relationships and want to feel more connected to their man, knowing that he isn't just pretending to be into her just so he can be intimate with her. Physical intimacy for women is allowing themselves to be completely vulnerable, they want to be able to please their partner but at the same time be respected and appreciated.
5 Intellectual Ability
Intellectual means the ability one has to think or understand ideas, according to ReversoDictionary. Which means that Intellectual ability is more of a broad term for how the mind operates overall. Many women have anxiety over whether or not their level of understanding intellectual matters such as math, history, physics, politics and so forth match their partners. This insecurity only exceeds itself the more a woman is into the guy, they desperately want him to be interested in her for more than just her physical appearance. Women happen to be extremely sensitive for fear of being judged. No one wants to be the only one in the room not understanding what anyone is talking about, therefore keeping up on what is going on in the world and other matters can really help with their confidence. Women become insecure about their intellectual grasp on certain matters, they fear if they say something wrong or something comes across as dumb people will judge them. They worry that their opinions will be misinterpreted and this could lead to coming off as shallow. Women get anxiety over their partner thinking they aren't smart enough for them, they constantly feel that men think of them as Barbie dolls this can bring up some major insecurity. Knowing all your facts and being able to carry on an intellectual conversation is key. Women think about their intellectual abilities not just between them and their partner but also friends and co-workers.
When you are a little girl all you can imagine is what it would be like to be older, you imagine all the great things you will be able to do. At eighteen you are legally an adult, at twenty-one, you can finally have a taste of alcohol (in some countries) which is close to the taste of freedom, at twenty-two you sing T-Swift at the top of your lungs and life feels so care-free and happy. As you slowly start aging, at twenty-three according to Blink 182 no one really likes you, at twenty-five, you can rent a car, and before you know it you are thirty and if you aren't married yet you wonder what the heck are you doing with your life? As a woman, this can make you very insecure when you watch everyone around you speed through life and you wish you could be little again. Age for women is more of an insecurity regarding life experiences, women fear that with age it could lead to the end of their career as well as their dating life. The older you get the more you notice your friends are all married or have kids and if you're still single it could really give you some major anxiety. Women want to look younger and they often become jealous of other women, they constantly try to maintain a healthy diet or products as if they can somehow fight the aging process. By the time you hit your late 20's women become pressurized to be married and have their lives all figured out, it is no secret that women all over the world dread the idea of getting older and tend to be a little sensitive when it comes to the topic.
3 His Friends Approval Of You
When you are starting a new relationship the pressure to impress the guy and his friends can get quite overwhelming. Women want to click with their partner's friends, and if they aren't the fear that their new man may be saying unflattering things about them, or perhaps they just do not fit in with that crowd which can be really uncomfortable. Men want their friends to like the girl they are seeing, things can get sticky if there is tension. It isn't fair that whether you guys work out or not could be put in the hands of their friends but unfortunately it is very common. Getting to know his friends and putting forth that effort will help ease the anxiety of whether they like you or not. Look at it this way, he likes you so how could his friends not? and although it is easier said than done, dwelling on impressing his friends should not be your major concern. After all, you are dating him not his friends. Show his friends how awesome you are and how even though you are a girl and are sensitive at times and like girly things does not mean that you can't sit back, relax and have a beer every now and then. We all get insecure from time to time, but knowing your worth will help his friends see how great you are too.
2 Being 'too nice'
A lot of women struggle with whether they should voice their opinions or not. Especially starting out a new relationship you don't want to push your partner's buttons. But there is the insecurity of being too nice can actually lead to being taken advantage of. Many women who have experienced being 'too nice' have been told they allow people to walk all over them, or people seek them as being weak. Being too nice can make people think that their actions no longer have consequences because to you they could do no wrong. Women become insecure as to whether they should speak up or just go with the flow, there is, however, a way to remain balanced. You can use your voice and not allow people to walk all over you while still remaining true to yourself. Being good to others isn't a bad thing but unfortunately, some people aren't as good as you and they seek out your vulnerability. Taylor Swift once said, "No matter what happens in life be good to people. Being good to people is a wonderful legacy to leave behind." Now if you are a sweet and caring person, don't ignore those amazing qualities, however finding your own voice will help with your insecurity. No one wants to become a doormat, truth is most nice people don't know how to say no. Learning what to say will help you conquer your fear.
In the olden days, women didn't have careers, they got married young and started a family. Being a housewife was the most important thing to them, nowadays women have come so far from this lifestyle. We strive to be the best versions of ourselves, and we have dreams and goals that we work so hard to achieve. Because of these goals, some women already have their careers started between the ages of 21-25, so when you are 23 and still have no clue where your life is going it can be really stressful. Men love independent, strong-willed, and intelligent women, so when your life isn't so put together especially in its career aspect it can definitely have a negative effect. Women worry about where they stand in the work place, they are either worried about not having a job or being stuck in the same one years after years and not ever moving up. Especially in today's society the competition is pretty much cut throat and women are on the nastier side of things because they are expected to be able to balance their careers, family, and other household duties. This is a major insecurity because women feel they have to constantly prove themselves and if any issue appears in their family matters it is usually them that have to sacrifice their careers. This can be stressful because women want equality, they want to be able to have it all, a career has become more important to a lot of women.