People often don't realize what their dealbreakers are in a relationship until they come up against one. That's kind of the nature of relationships, but it's also the nature of what it's like to grow and change as a person.
It takes a lifetime of lessons and experiences to show us what we're willing to tolerate in any given situation and when we're about to check out of something—including a relationship. Even if we think we're the type of people who would never check out because of one thing, everyone has their limits and it's important to know what those limits are.
For some people, the dealbreaker in a relationship comes as a litmus test for the person early on. It's a kind of signal to them that shows that the person they're dealing with is either worth or not worth their time.
For others, the dealbreaker comes from a sudden reveal of their values from what could be perceived by others as a throwaway remark. A person might have found this dealbreaker through getting burned by that situation before, or just because they know there are certain things they won't be able to deal with or tolerate.
Either way, this is most likely to be the dealbreaker according to who we are and our star sign. Plus, the moon sign contributes an added perspective!
24 Aries Man: 'I Don't Like To Argue Or Debate, Let's All Get Along.'
If you're an Aries man, you're the type of person who is all about being upfront and direct with what you think and how you feel. While you don't like to admit this, you need a little arguing in your relationship because a debate is the spice of life to you.
This means that a partner who's just going to roll over and play dead in the face of a minor disagreement is going to drive you absolutely crazy. If a potential dating partner starts to act like an argument is the worst thing ever and nobody should ever fight, you're probably going to run for the hills.
23 Aries Woman: 'I Just Want To Spend All Our Time Together.'
If you're an Aries woman, you're the sort of person who needs their independence because you're an independent person. You need time with your girls, time with your family, and time with just yourself in order to feel sane.
If you were ever trying to talk to someone that you could see yourself dating, the absolute worst thing you could possibly hear would be that they'd want to spend all their time with you. That would be a red flag to you because don't they have other priorities and things to do with their time?
22 Taurus Man: 'I Like Unpredictable Situations.'
If you're a Taurus man, you've probably just been waiting for the right person to settle down with. You're the type of person who knows what he wants and just wants to go for that. No need to go off the beaten path if you know what your values are and what situations you'll be happy with.
If you're ever talking to someone and they say something like they just go with the flow or they don't have a plan for their life, this would freak you out beyond belief. To you, if they want to live unpredictably, how will you know if you can do the future together if they don't care what the future is?
21 Taurus Woman: 'Love And Respect Are The Same Things.'
As a Taurus woman, you can be kind of a schmaltzy person, but that doesn't mean that you're not a strong, independent woman. You need to feel like an equal in your relationship, at least most of the time. While you know that you can learn a lot from a partner, you also know they can learn a lot from you. This is why you're very clear from the beginning that to you, love and respect are separate.
Someone can love you but not respect you as a fully realized human being, and someone can respect your personhood while not actually loving you. A partner who doesn't know the difference will get dropped like a bad habit.
20 Gemini Man: 'I Need My Partner To Know When I'm Feeling Bad Without My Having To Say Anything.'
As a Gemini man, you prioritize communication above all else. Unlike many men, you actually understand that communication is nuanced and layered and you don't actually have to say anything with words to get your point across. That being said, you want to be with someone who communicates on the same wavelength as you.
If you find yourself in a situation where your potential partner is acting like they're communicating with you but actually just wants you to read your mind, that's a dealbreaker. All the ways to communicate in the world and they're not saying anything?
19 Gemini Woman: 'I Don't Like Being Around People.'
As a Gemini woman, you're social to a fault. You love to make friends and influence people and be a light in other people's lives. You genuinely love people in a way that doesn't often make sense to others. You surround yourself with your friends and generally take care to excise toxic people from your life.
That being said, the thing you don't like about people is when they act like they're above people and that they only deal with people who are on their level. To you, everyone is worthy of being heard and anyone who doesn't think that doesn't think everyone is equal, and that's just not something you're okay with.
18 Cancer Man: 'I Don't Like Opening Up To People.'
As a Cancer man, you're the type who's essentially all about emotion. It'll take you a while to get comfortable with admitting to yourself and others that you, as a man, have the dreaded feelings, but when you do and you're around people you deem safe, you're totally cool with confronting your feelings.
People who make you uncomfortable are the ones who would prefer keeping things bottled up because you know what happens when someone can't bottle things up anymore. You know people who do that are ticking time bombs and you don't want to be there for the boom.
17 Cancer Woman: 'Family Isn't Important To Me.'
As a Cancer woman, your inner circle is your family. Blood ties don't mean as much to you as a genuine connection and when you deem someone worthy of being in your inner circle, you will always be there for them, no matter where they are. In your mind, this is the only way to operate.
People who don't operate this way actually tend to put you on your guard and feel a different type of way about them. If someone you're dealing with puts something else above their inner circle, above their family, it shows you that they don't have their priorities in order because your people should always be a priority.
16 Leo Man: 'I Play My Position, I Won't Try And Challenge You.'
As a Leo, you tend to see yourself as a man's man. This isn't a bad thing at all, by the way. You're just a person who knows who he is and will never apologize for being that person. This is why above all else, you want a partner who can be secure in herself. More than that, she needs to be so secure in herself that she doesn't see a problem with trying to challenge you.
You're used to always being the leader in any given situation, so you want a woman who can do the same. Any partner who refuses to challenge you will eventually drive you away.
15 Leo Woman: 'I Don't Like When A Woman Sees Herself As More Important Than She Is.'
As a Leo, you're a person who has no problem commanding and demanding attention. You know your value and your worth and whether other people know it too really isn't your problem. When you choose a partner, you choose someone who knows what he has when he has you.
If you're dealing with someone who feels like people shouldn't treat themselves as important, you know that's not a person for you, especially if they word it like "women think of themselves as much better than they actually are." It shows you that that person doesn't think very highly of women, which means they can't think very highly of you.
14 Virgo Man: 'If They Can't Love Me At My Worst, They Don't Deserve Me At My Best.'
As a Virgo man, you are constantly running into red flags and dealbreakers. This isn't because you're picky; this is because you know what you want and you're not here to waste any time. However, the biggest red flag you could possibly come across, the one that makes you run away as fast as you can, is the one where someone says that they have to be tolerated at their worst in order for you to receive their best.
It shows their selfishness and their unwillingness to change and become better for the sake of yourself and your relationship, which is something you just can't forgive.
13 Virgo Woman: 'My Dream Is To Be A Good Partner.'
As a Virgo woman, you have dreams and aspirations and are constantly looking forward to getting to where you want to be in life. You want a partner who's going to be focused on their own goals so you can support each other and grow together.
The last thing you would ever want for yourself is a partner whose only goal is to support you. That basically tells you right there that that person doesn't have any aspirations for themselves and is probably lazy enough to drag you down with them. Whether they do or not, you don't know, but you're not willing to slow down to find out.
12 Libra Man: 'I Don't Mind Being Rude To Get What I Want.'
As a Libra man, the way you present yourself really means a lot to you. You're not the type to try and strong-arm your way into everything because you just don't see the value in achieving things that way. You'd rather catch flies with honey than vinegar, to put it simply. You tend to choose partners who think the same way.
A potential partner who shows that they would rather be combative than harmonious would be really bad news for you and a major sign for you to walk away. With everything going on in your life, you just don't need any drama.
11 Libra Woman: 'Tomorrow Is Never Going To Be Better.'
As a Libra woman, you're always looking at the bright side. Even in the face of very long odds and no hope whatsoever, you will always be the person looking towards a better future and all of the tomorrows you plan to have.
You're just an optimist at heart, which makes you kind of a rare soul. This is why you're so positive in relationships and can throw yourself into things others might deem risky: you see the best in people. Someone who cannot see the best in people and is constantly hopeless is a drain on your soul and you just can't have that in your life.
10 Scorpio Man: 'I Don't Have The Patience To Show That I'm Trustworthy When I've Already Done That.'
As a Scorpio man, trust means a lot to you. When you're with someone, you need to feel that you can trust them absolutely so you can be your most loyal self. You might not always love someone turning the same level of accountability back at you, but you would appreciate that far more than disloyalty.
If you're ever in a situation where someone you really like basically says that they don't need to show their loyalty or that they're trustworthy because they're a trustworthy person and you should just have faith, it's a sign to you that the person is disloyal. Whether that's actually true is something else, but you'd rather not take that chance.
9 Scorpio Woman: 'Honesty Isn't As Important As Keeping Things Conflict Free.'
As a Scorpio woman, you're extremely loyal and tell it like it is. When you're with someone, you love them as much as you can for as long as they'll let you and they'll never have a more loyal person on their team than you. To you, loyalty also means honesty: if you or your partner can't speak your mind the relationship isn't really working.
That means that you'd rather have a dumb fight and talk about what's bothering you than let things go without solving anything. A potential partner who doesn't see the value in honesty or would rather choose not to have a fight than to make progress spells bad news for you.
8 Sagittarius Man: 'I Need Constant Communication.'
As a Sagittarius man, you don't need to be smothered in any sense of the word. You need independence, to be able to go out and do whatever you want without feeling like you're going to get tied down by needless expectations. You're super loyal to the partners you do have and you're very picky about who you choose because you don't want to make that commitment to just anyone.
A major thing for you is that your partner needs to be self-sufficient enough to not need to hear from you all the time. If they want constant communication, you know then and there that you're not the person for them.
7 Sagittarius Woman: 'I Like Spending All My Time With My Significant Other.'
As a Sagittarius woman, you're the type to go with the flow. You're okay with never having any two days in your life be the same, even if that means you don't have the same level of stability other people have. In a relationship, you like to have time with them, but you also like to have time to yourself.
In fact, spending time without your significant other, to you, shows that your relationship is actually healthy. If you end up dating someone who thinks that you should spend every second of your time with them, you'll ghost out before they even finish their sentence.
6 Capricorn Man: 'My Relationship Is My Top Priority.'
As a Capricorn, you are a person who has their priorities in order. They might not make sense to anyone other than you, but that's fine with you because you don't need anyone's approval. When you choose a partner, you want someone who has dreams and goals of their own, someone who does not need you to make those things happen because you don't need anyone to make things happen for yourself.
If your partner is the type who would rather make you their top priority rather focusing on their own forward momentum, that's a sign that you probably can't grow with them.
5 Capricorn Woman: 'I Don't Need To Impress Anyone.'
As a Capricorn woman, you're kind of unstoppable. You're a person with lofty but realistic goals who would never sacrifice yourself on the altar of a relationship. That being said, thanks to your ambition, you do care what others think of you because you know you do need others to help you get ahead and help you on your journey.
You have no problem putting on a mask temporarily if it means getting what you want and impressing who you need to impress. If you're dating someone who thinks that they don't need to impress anyone, that's a sign to you that they don't have a decent grip on reality.
4 Aquarius Man: 'That's Not Interesting, I Don't Want To Hear About That.'
As an Aquarius man, you're a person with a huge catalog of special interests that take up an equal amount and all of your time simultaneously. You have a lot of passions and you're not the type to apologize for having weird interests. When you choose a partner, you know you're going to need someone who not only has a wide range of interests of their own (even if they don't mesh well with yours) but admires your passion for those things as well.
Someone telling you that your interests are boring and they'd rather talk about anything else and not giving you that space to be yourself is a huge dealbreaker for you.
3 Aquarius Woman: 'You Complete Me.'
As an Aquarius woman, you're very familiar with the trope of the "manic pixie dream girl" because you've been cast as that your whole life. You're quirky and weird and authentic, and people who gravitate to strong personalities often idealize you as perfect. When you choose someone to date, you often find that people who don't understand you seek to treat you like a concept or a prize to be won rather than as a fully formed and flawed person.
You need a partner who is their own fully realized person and who does not need you to feel complete. Someone who says that you complete them is a sign to you that that person sees an idealized version of you and will freak out when you inevitably fall from grace.
2 Pisces Man: 'Don't Be So Emotional.'
As a Pisces man, you are open with your emotions and upfront about your dreams because you tend to live on a different plane of existence than the rest of the world. You're remarkably perceptive and see things most men won't. You need a partner who either sees those things too or understands that you do and will let you be as intuitive and emotional as you need to be.
If a partner treats your emotionality as a burden or acts like men aren't or can't be emotional, that's a red flag for you because it shows they don't respect you and they don't think very highly of men at all.
1 Pisces Woman: 'I Don't Need To Grow Or Change, I'm Great The Way I Am.'
As a Pisces woman, you understand that if we cannot change, we get left behind. You're always trying to grow in some way. You love to travel so you can put yourself in situations where you can find out what you're made of. You're constantly challenging how you think and your assumptions because the world is rarely as simple as you think.
When you're choosing a partner, you want someone who respects that you will change over the course of your relationship with them and is comfortable doing the work necessary to become a better, more rounded person. Anyone who feels like they don't need to grow anymore is a person that actually creeps you out a bit because who would want to remain stagnant?