Most of us think of extremely famous people like we do Greek Gods and Goddesses – they’re so far out of reach that they might as well be mythical. We assume they lead these perfect existences with money and fame, that anything and everything is theirs for the taking. But what we fail to take in consideration is that the old saying is true: money can’t buy love. Like in our own realities, celebrities have complex love lives and can’t always use their fame and fortune to hold on to those who don’t really reciprocate their feelings of adoration for them. Some aren’t just meant to settle down, or they desperately want to, they just have the tendency to constantly date the wrong people. Here are 15 celebrities who are constantly getting dumped at each and every turn in life.
15 Taylor Swift
Ah yes, you can’t have one of these lists without leading off when the most notorious dumpee of all time. As we all know from her music, Taylor Swift can never seem to get her love life in order. She is constantly on the prowl for her next muse and doesn’t take the time to consider the fact that she’s the common denominator in all her failed relationships. Instead, she places the blame on those who “disregard” her. From Tom Hiddleston to Joe Jonas to Calvin Harris to even a Kennedy grandson – Taylor can’t seem to, for the life of her, hang on to a dude. It was comedian Chelsea Handler who once said what we all are thinking when it comes to Swift constantly getting dumped: “My theory about Taylor Swift is that she’s a prude, that everyone breaks up with her because they date her for two weeks and she’s like, ‘I’m not gonna do it.’” Handler said on Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live. “And they’re like, ‘Oh, well, forget it. Then I don’t want to date you.’ Every guy thinks they’re going to get with her, and they’re not. She’s never going to get taken, ever, ever, ever, ever.”
14 January Jones
Actress January Jones has quite the reputation of being chilly to the people in her life. Sure, the Mad Men actress has landed some high profiled actors in her life (including Ashton Kutcher who once said she would never amount to anything in Hollywood), but she’s such an ice queen that she could never managed to hold onto one. Recently, Jones has been trying to break out of her icy mold by starring in the comedy Last Man on Earth where she plays… well, an uptight blonde. Jones even has a child with some mystery man (all we know is that he’s someone in Hollywood) who she refuses to reveal. She claims she doesn’t really have time to date due to her career and raising a young son, but I’m thinking that she doesn’t date because of her attitude problem.
13 Tom Cruise
Tom Cruise has been with some of Hollywood’s most beautiful women. He married Nicole Kidman (who left him), dated Penelope Cruz (who also left him), and then walked down the isle with actress Katie Holmes (who left him so fast, it made his head spin). Okay, when you can’t seem to hold down a mate, maybe it’s time to reevaluate your life… or your religion. Cruise is heavily into Scientology and makes sure everyone in his personal orbit converts to his weird-a** religion too… which tends to send people running for the Hollywood Hills. Or could it be something else? Rumors have been flying around for years that Cruise prefers a much “stronger” gender rather than women, but it seems like he’s built a home in THAT closet and has no intention of stepping out of it. So, for the time being, he’ll continue to date (and get dumped) by Hollywood’s most famous starlets.
12 Kaley Cuoco
The Big Bang Theory actress has been wildly known to date her co-stars, mainly focusing on her recycling her relationship with Bang co-star Johnny Galecki, who also plays her love interest on the show. She and Galecki seem to date whenever Cuoco is in some sort of dating slump. She dated Man of Steel actor Henry Cavill, but that relationship only lasted a few short weeks before he got bored with her and bailed. Same thing happened when she dated tennis play Ryan Sweeting and then up and married him only two months after they started dating. Of course that whirlwind marriage didn’t last long and when it was over, Cuoco went screaming back to poor Galecki, who of course took her back. Perhaps she would have more luck trying EHarmony or something along those lines?
11 Halle Berry
Jesus, if someone as gorgeous as Halle Berry can’t keep down a guy, what luck do ordinary looking people on this earth have? Berry has been married three times and has dated nearly everyone in Hollywood (and the model world) in between those marriages. Former husbands include Olivier Martinez, David Justice, and Eric Benet. After Berry’s divorce with Martinez, first hubby Justice took to Twitter to air out some dirty laundry regarding the actress. “Me, Eric, Gabriel (Aubry – an ex-boyfriend of Berry’s), and Olivier were all her ‘Knight in Shining Armor’ until it ends,” the former MLB star tweeted out. “Then we all become the worst guys in history.” Berry has been known to bash her exes to the press, which is why they’re understandably pissed. It’s probably best not to do that if you want to keep down a man, Ms. Berry.
10 Charlie Sheen
I remember when Charlie Sheen finally came to his senses and dropped that crappy show Two and a Half Men, which seemed to cause a massive uproar. Since then, he’s revealed to the public that he’s HIV positive, which doesn’t surprise anyone considering his track record with females. It’s clear that he can’t seem to hold onto a woman because his partying ways often get in the way of his love life, so chicks generally like to leave the party early. On the list we have Denise Richards (who has vowed to hate her ex for the rest of his miserable life) and Bree Olson (who texted him to get the hell out of her apartment). And who can blame these women? He’s a boozing hound dog who can’t seem to slow down. Much like his character on Men, I’m pretty sure he’ll end up being killed off by some woman in real life who was wronged by him. I hope it’s less messy than being thrown in front of a moving train, however.
9 Madonna
We should have known something was wrong with Madonna after her infamous kiss with rapper Drake on the stage. I mean, she looked like she was trying to eat his entire head so it made sense when he looked so utterly disgusted after the “kiss” itself. Didn’t he even wipe his mouth and spit afterwards? No one blamed him either (except, maybe Madonna, who went on the defense afterward). Madonna has been known to have been dumped by Hollywood’s finest: Guy Ritchie, Sean Penn, Antonio Banderas. She’s always really been known to dating younger men too, so when rumors started to swirl that she was dating her choreographer (someone who is probably 20 years her junior), people were already expecting the news of a pending dumping. When it comes to Madonna, we only hope Drake has gotten the taste of her out of his mouth.
8 Rihanna
My god, Rihanna is seriously one of the most gorgeous people on the face of the entire planet. So why can’t she seem to hold onto a man for very long? She’s had high profile relationships that either ended in hit songs (Drake) or violently (Chris Brown). There have been plenty of notable men in between her long term relationships like Ashton Kutcher, Leonardo DiCaprio, Rashard Lewis, and Shia LaBeouf. Considering her “no bulls**t” like persona, I’m pretty sure she’s the one doing the dumping. She also seems to fall for the wrong sort of men too. Whether it’s a serial cheater (hey, you know the deal going into one of those relationships: a tiger can’t change its spots) or someone who can’t control his temper, you know it’s going to end eventually when it comes to the singer. It’s a bummer too. However, I seem to be holding out for hope in the Drake department since that’s a flame that never seems to burn out whenever they part.
7 Jennifer Lopez
Ah, Jenny from the block – you’ve had a tough life when it comes to your dating habits. Everyone remember that whole Ben Affleck fiasco? Affleck dated Jennifer Lopez after meeting her on the set of that horrible monstrosity of a movie Gigli. I mean, seriously – no relationship could have withstood that crappy movie. Eventually the public got to Bennifer and they parted (which was fine since they didn’t have any chemistry whatsoever in the first place), and she moved on to other beaus like Mark Antony, Drake, and now Alex Rodriguez. Perhaps the cause of the constant dumping happens to be the fact that J-Lo is terribly germaphobic and has OCD. That HAS to drive men batty and they eventually don’t care how hot she is – the girl has to go.
6 50 Cent
So, let me get this straight: rapper 50 Cent LOVES and prefers independent, strong-minded women, but can’t seem to hold onto one for very long? Let’s look at the long list of suspects: We have Naomi Campbell, Ciara, Kim Kardashian, and Chelsea Handler who have used 50 Cent up and then spit him back out again. The man is constantly getting dumped by these strong women when they happen to find out he’s a serial cheater. Some of these women even use the rapper in order to boost their own career, which happened to be the case of girlfriend Daphne Joy, who dumped 50 ONE WEEK AFTER HIS BIRTHDAY. When Joy found that nailing the rapper did absolutely nothing to help further her career, she bailed. Poor, poor 50. You’ll eventually find a good one, dude.
5 Demi Moore
Actress Demi Moore started a trend years back that most people found taboo – even though it had been a hidden trend for rich, dynamic women for years: dating the younger man and not giving two hoots about what anyone else thinks. Moore married Ashton Kutcher who was 15 years her junior and while it looked like it may last, Kutcher bailed on Demi and started focusing on women his own age while Moore maintained her status as a cougar. She then moved on to (and lost) Vito Schnabel, another 20something she lured into her kiddy pool. In her past, Demi was with Bruce Willis (the two had children together) and Anthony Kiedis and even Leonardo DiCaprio. The woman just can’t seem to keep them nailed down for a long period of time.
4 Katy Perry
While we’ve all been busy focusing on her ongoing feud with fellow singer Taylor Swift, we seemed to forget all the times poor Katy Perry has been dumped in her young lifetime. Remember when she was married to the obnoxious Russell Brand and even she managed to drive HIM away? How is that even possible?? Worse part is, the man TEXTED HER THAT HE WANTED A DIVORCE INSTEAD OF ASKING FOR ONE IN PERSON. Is something so terribly wrong with her personality that he didn’t even want to ask her for a divorce face-to-face? Sure, Perry might be a little odd, but all the interesting women usually are odd. Since Brand, she’s been with John Mayer, Robert Pattinson, Robert Ackroyd, and Baptiste Giabinconi. Wasn’t she even with Orlando Bloom for a bit there? I can never remember. Hopefully those guys had the decency to dump her in person like a gentlemen when they were through doing her.
3 Lindsay Lohan
I like to think that actress Lindsay Lohan can’t seem to hold down a man because she’s bats**t crazy. The young woman once had a very promising career in Hollywood, but then her head got way too big for her body and she started demeaning everyone around her. And yes, this includes all the men in her life. She’s dated (and gotten dumped by) Morgan O’Connor, Samantha Ronson, Wilmer Valderrama, Evan Peters, Lukas Haas, Joaquin Phoenix, Jamie Dornan, Zac Efron, Justin Timberlake… the list goes on and on. Literally. Lohan composed an actual list of men she’s slept with while she and friends were staying and goofing off at the Beverly Hilton Hotel. A great deal of the men on the list were in relationships when the list went viral, so it was likely that A LOT of fights were sparked thanks to that very list.
2 Simon Cowell
I expect that his forever-grouch routine doesn’t really transfer to the bedroom very well, so it really doesn’t surprise me that Simon Cowell keeps getting dumped by fed up women. Because of his womanizing ways, Cowell got text-dumped by girlfriend of the moment Terri Seymour (I’m sure his personality didn’t help matters much either). Cowell is a highly known crab apple who is extremely egotistical. Even singer Demi Lovato called out Cowell on Conan O’Brien’s show when she referred to him as “a bit of an a**hole”. While we feel sorry for almost everyone on this list, it’s a pleasure to hear and read about Cowell’s pain. Sure, he’s only human – but he’s really a rotten human. We know that every broken-hearted person who was dissed by Cowell on American Idol are laughing their butts of right now.
1 Julia Roberts
Even though it was a million and a half years ago, this beautiful actress was dating singer Lyle Lovett… and people started assuming that perhaps the former Pretty Woman was going blinder than hell. Before she was actually dumped by the mayor of Ugly Town, Roberts was hooking up with Kiefer Sutherland, an actor who she ALMOST walked down the aisle with, until he was caught cheating with a couple of dancers and she dropped him like a hot potato. We all thought Roberts just didn’t have any luck in the love department and then along came camera guy Danny Moder, who she ended up marrying… and then divorcing. Jeez, Julia – it shouldn’t be that hard to hold onto a guy – you manage to hold onto them in all your films.
