There are far too many jokes about women wanting to get their guys to settle down, pop the question, tie the knot, and have kids. We have that biological clock tick, tick, ticking away after all! While the stereotype may be true in some cases, the idea of the fairytale romance is not solely the domain of women. In fact, some guys are such fans of the idea that they’re willing to stake themselves on any relationship, and move it along to that end goal no matter how suitable their partner – or how unhealthy the relationship – may be.
Rather than trying to ease into a relationship, this dude is moving super-fast. We may feel weird even bringing it up, because isn’t this what all the other girls want? A man who is so certain in his affections and head over heels for us that we don’t have to do any of the guesswork? On paper (and in romantic comedies, TV shows, and romance novels), this can be really sweet. Ideal, even. In real life, though, being faced with someone else’s breathless affections before we know where we stand can be OTT – and even off-putting! Here are 20 signs our guy is moving way too fast.
20 He Agrees With Us On Everything
It may sound like a pretty great deal to have our guy agreeing with us on everything, but it’s actually not all it’s cracked up to be. In actuality, our dude might disagree with us on a lot of things, from the trivial (like where to go for dinner that night) to the more serious (like politics). Do we know that, though? Nope!
This dude becomes a yes-man when he’s around us because he doesn’t want to ruin the good thing he has going. In his mind, refraining from rocking the boat allows him to believe that everything is perfect – and keeps us involved with the charade.
19 He Wants To Vacation ASAP
Jetting off on some fancy trip or even hitting up a cottage for the weekend might sound romantic – and it definitely is! – but when we’ve just started seeing a guy, we can’t help but get some majorly creepy vibes when he pulls this move.
Going on vacation with someone is kind of a mini milestone in a relationship. It pulls us both out of our bubble and sees how we interact with different surroundings. Because of that, when a guy immediately wants to board a plane or take a road trip for a week or two, it can be a red flag that he wants to rush the relationship along.
18 He Checks In Throughout The Day
Checking in on bae is a cute thing to do, to let them know we’re thinking about them (or vice versa). Receiving those “good morning,” “how was your day?” and “good night” texts gives us a lot of warm and fuzzy feelings. Things take a not-so-cute turn, however, when we’re getting bombarded with constant text messages from our guy wanting to know what’s happening for every moment he’s not at our side.
This kind of behavior reads as controlling and insecure. He needs to keep tabs on us not because he cares, but because he’s anxious about what we’re doing when he’s not around.
17 He’s Planning Far Into The Future
Making weekend plans on a Tuesday? Cute and thoughtful. Making wedding plans on a second date? Not so much.
If our guy is already hearing wedding bells and planning what to name our children, he’s definitely moving too fast. We all might think about the future, even in the earlier stages of a relationship. It can be because everyone around us seems to be getting hitched or popping out kids, or because we just felt an immediate connection.
What’s not normal is voicing those plans before we’ve even known one another for 48 hours. This guy has us on a clock, and no one needs that kind of pressure.
16 His Friends Know All About Us
When a guy tells his friends about us, it’s because he has no interest in keeping us secret. He’s proud to be on our arm and isn’t the type to have secret relationships or keep his GF hidden.
Things change, however, when we first meet his inner circle and learn that not only do they know about us, but they know ALL about us. We’re talking likes, dislikes, what we wore on our first date, the name of our pet, the way we do our hair, and every other bit of info our guy scrounged up with the help of the Internet.
15 He Love-Bombs Us
Love bombing is about as aggressive as it sounds. It’s a manipulation tactic people may use when they want to steer a relationship in a certain direction or usher it along. For example, a dude we’ve just begun seeing may try to pull every move out of the romantic comedy book and stage grand gestures to win our affections. Of course, that backfires and makes us feel awkward instead, and then he calls us out for not appreciating his efforts.
Feeling like a relationship is a little too one-sided could be because our SO is love-bombing us, and trying to speed things up before we’re ready.
14 He Just Got Out Of A Relationship & Wants To DTR
Some people are serial monogamists and that’s fine, but an issue arises when our guy has just experienced heartbreak and then wants to move on like nothing has happened – and he wants to move FAST.
This guy is itching to define our relationship so that he can feel that level of security and stability again, since he just lost it with his ex. Plus, while he may be telling us how much he cares for us one minute, he’s turning right around and venting all about the betrayal at the hands of his ex the next, which proves that he’s definitely not over it.
13 He’s Started Moving His Stuff In
Mi casa es su casa, right? Well, only if a discussion about it has happened first.
Our dude might be staying over with more and more frequency, and perhaps we’ve even settled into a nice little routine. However, we’ve started noticing that he hardly ever heads back to his place and his stuff seems to be popping up in our laundry basket, bathroom, and living room with alarming regularity. His socks are in our washing machine, his razor and toothbrush are in our sink, and his magazines, laptop, and guitar are cluttering our couch.
This guy has basically moved in! Without even asking, he’s taken our relationship to a level we may not have been prepared for.
12 He Uses Pet Names Right Away
Depending on where you stand on the subject, pet names can be cute. They indicate affection, sentimentality, and familiarity – all things that tend to come with time, as a relationship matures and grows.
That’s why it’s so off-putting when the dude we’ve been seeing for a week starts busting out the “babe” and “hon” with increasing frequency. It’s become so common, in fact, that we wonder if he’s forgotten our actual name! The guy who does this wants to pretend that our relationship is more serious – and sweet – than it already is, even if we never respond with pet names of our own.
11 He’s A Serial Monogamist
Serial monogamy is not a bad thing. Some people just don’t like dating and don’t find themselves being single all that often, and so move from one long-term relationship to the next. Serial monogamy can become a bad thing when a person simply can’t be single and would rather get involved with anyone than risk being alone.
The man who is a serial monogamist may be more likely to move too fast because he’s just come out of a situation in which the interactions of the relationship were well-established. He’s so used to being a boyfriend and a partner that it’s difficult for him to revert back to being the new guy, so he just doesn’t.
10 His Romantic Gestures Are OTT
Maybe we’re just not the type of girl who’s into Valentine’s Day or candlelit dinners, and that’s okay! It’s also okay to have a partner who is into all that stuff. It only really becomes a red flag when our dude decides that all romantic gestures need to be over the top to be worthy – especially if we’ve already expressed how much we dislike them.
Flash mobs, public proposals, or messages written in the sky may sound sweet on paper (and in movies), but it’s all too much for us. This guy, however, needs them as proof that we’re together and crazy about one another. If we’re being honest, it all feels a little forced.
9 He’s Already Possessive
He calls us “his” and drapes an arm around our shoulders wherever we go. While a little possessiveness can be nice, it feels like our guy is about to mark his territory to claim us as his own.
If things like this increase in frequency, it may be a sign that he’s a bit obsessive and controlling. He wants everyone to know that we’re together, especially in situations where we’re talking to or being around other men. Even if the relationship hasn’t been clearly defined, this guy wants everyone within earshot to know that we’re, essentially, his property, which is a glaring red flag.
8 He Wants Us To Meet The Parents
Meeting the parents is a pretty big deal, which is why it’s not something to be taken lightly. It’s a lot of pressure to make a good impression around these people who have known and raised their son for years! Maybe we’ve only been seeing him for a few weeks, but suddenly, he’s asking us to come over for dinner and meet everyone!
It’s already a nerve-wracking experience, and it’s made all the more stressful when we haven’t been seeing this dude long enough to feel that we’re ready for such a major milestone. Sorry, but we’ll have to take a rain check on that dinner.
7 He’s Plastered Us All Over His Social Media
If this guy is an avid user of social media, it’s a sign of his commitment to us when he updates his FB status to “in a relationship” and makes us his WCW every week. It’s sweet when it happens over the course of a relationship, but takes a sharp turn into creepy territory when we notice that our face has taken over his feeds, suggesting that we’ve been together for years!
Instead of photos about his own interests or hobbies, now there are posts from him calling us “bae,” staged “candid” shots, and our own mirror selfies accompanied by the fire emoji. It’s a little too much, even if it’s meant to be flattering.
6 He’s All About The Physical
A sure sign that a guy is moving too fast in a relationship is when he’s solely interested in the physical. If we’re not certain about him or want to take things slow, that's fine. If he truly cared about us, he would respect that and understand that we may take some time to come around to that aspect of the relationship.
The guy who is only in it for himself, however, will try to pressure us into doing things before we’re ready, and even act put out when he doesn’t get his way! Rather than going on actual dates or getting to know one another, this dude only wants to get close to us in one way.
5 He Asks To Move In Together – Before He’s Learned Our Middle Name
Moving in together is a major step in a relationship. After all, it’s the integration of two people’s lifestyles under one roof! Hopefully, such a major decision comes after lots of discussion and understanding as to what that means for the two of you.
The guy who wants to rush things along, however, doesn’t see it as a big deal, and wants to shack up ASAP! He’s so certain that we’re supposed to be living together that we wonder if we’re crazy for not feeling the same way. He needs to slow his roll before he signs that lease before we’re ready.
4 He Gets Pouty When We Want Alone Time
Every good relationship should allow both parties to operate as individuals as well as one half of a couple, and having some solid “me time” is a big part of that. We need it to recalibrate, take a breather, and just chill out. Maybe that “me time” involves binge-watching reality TV or taking a walk in the mornings, but the guy who moves too fast feels like it’s a personal slight when he doesn’t get asked to come along.
Guilting us for feeling the need to be alone every now and then is manipulative, because while our relationship may be his sole purpose in life, it isn’t ours.
3 He Makes His Life All About Us
Whatever this dude may have been like before we got together, he’s a completely different person now. Without our asking, he’s made his life entirely about us and our relationship. He wants to do everything together. He’s abandoned his favorite hobbies to spend more time with us. He ignores his friends and family in favor of our relationship. In romcoms, such devotion may sound romantic, but in real life it’s obsessive.
We should both be able to have lives outside of our SOs – that’s the healthy thing to do! A guy who considers us his sole reason for existing is not the guy we want to be with.
2 He Drops The ‘L’ Word Too Soon
Saying those three little words is very important and meaningful to many people. To them, it signifies a commitment and a depth of emotion that goes beyond a crush or infatuation. That’s why it can be so disconcerting to hear our dude drop the “L” word too soon, because he hasn’t had enough time to really get to know us and learn who we are.
Love at first sight can totally be a thing, but it’s usually something that both parties feel. If he’s all heart-eyes while we’re still unsure, it’s more because he wants to be in love and loved than he cares about being with us in particular.
1 He’s Convinced We’re ‘The One’
Even in healthy relationships, there may be times when we’re questioning if this is the person we’ll end up with. A little doubt is only human, especially because being in love and loving someone puts us in such a vulnerable position. That’s why it might warrant a question if the guy we’re with is 100% convinced we’re the one, especially if we’re his first serious relationship. Those rose-colored glasses can only be worn for so long!
Some people may be sure that the one they’re dating is The One, but if our guy feels like he needs to adhere to some arbitrary timeline to tie the knot, we might not be The One, just This One.