20 Superman Toys That Make Zero Sense

Superman is one of the oldest and most popular comic book characters of all time. He has gone through multiple iterations and has expanded from graphics novels to all kinds of other media. Today you can find the superhero in movies, television shows, video games, books, and, of course, in toy form.

As such a long lasting character, Superman has seen thousands of different toys based on him over the last couple of decades. While many of these make great action figures or interesting merchandise, there are a few that have been created that have raised a few eyebrows. These examples are not only strange toys in their own right but also make absolutely no sense when it comes to fitting in with the Superman franchise and the character himself.

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20 Super Breath Superman

Super Breath Superman
via myconfinedspace.com

This Superman action figure comes from the film Superman Returns. It is supposed to show the character using his Super Breath ability. The only problem with this is that it is impossible to show a powerful gust effectively as it is just moving air. This gives the toy a look as if he is blowing out some candles or has wind.

19 Rock 'Em Sock 'Em: Batman V. Superman

Rock Em Sock Em Batman V Superman
via vox-cdn.com

Superman is an incredibly powerful alien being with a variety of abilities while Batman is a billionaire vigilante and detective who uses his wide array of gadgets in combat. That means the two are unlikely to ever come to blows in hand to hand combat and end up punching each other in the face.

18 Superman & Wonder Woman Motorcycle

Superman Wonder Woman Motorcycle
via hakes.com

There are many questions that need answering about this toy. Why does Superman look so demonic? What reason would the Man of Steel have for getting around in a motorcycle when he can fly? Would Wonder Woman be happy to be relegated to a sidecar? We may never get the answers to these questions, but one thing that is for sure is that no child would have wanted this nonsensical toy.

17 Superman Pogo Stick

Superman Pogo Stick
via pinimg.com

Out of all the superheroes that could have been chosen to go on the front of a Pogo Stick, Superman perhaps makes the least amount of sense. After all, the character is not exactly known for his ability to jump high, but rather his power to fly through the sky.

16 Superman Bath Duck

Superman Bath Duck
via thegiftandgadgetstore.com

This toy combines the awesome strength of Superman with the floating properties of a completely normal rubber duck. No one will ever know who thought it would be a good idea to create a Superman Bath Duck, especially with the hero not exactly being known for his aquatic and nautical properties.

15 Sofubi Bizarro

Sofubi Bizarro
via ebay.com

Based on the antihero character Bizarro from the Superboy collection of comics, this is a toy that makes little to no sense. It looks almost nothing like the character himself and does nothing other than stay in one position, making it incredibly difficult to even play with the action figure.

14 Superman Flying Hero

Superman Flying Hero
via ebluejay.com

It makes almost no sense why Superman would need wings to help him fly around. The superhero can zoom around the sky thanks to his alien powers so has no need for any flying aids. So no one would ever want to have a Superman toy that has wings attached to his arms.

13 Superman Justice Jogger

Superman Justice Jogger
via blastoffcomics.com

One thing that will never strike fear into the eyes of a terrible villain is the sight of a hero in a reclining jogger chair. Why anyone would even want this, never mind design it in the first place, is a question that we don’t want to know the answer to. But if you have ever wanted to see Superman gently recline then this is the toy for you.

12 Street Guardian Superman

Street Guardian Superman
via hobbyid.com

Have you ever thought that Superman was simply not cool enough to be a proper hero? Maybe you wanted him to be more like Punisher and get down into the streets to deal out justice. Then you are in luck with this Street Guardian Superman toy that comes with a leather jacket and chain.

11 Supermobile

via amazon.co.uk

Look, we all know that Superman and Batman have a big rivalry thing going on. The Man of Steel is probably a bit upset that everyone likes the Dark Knight and thinks he’s a much better hero. That can be the only explanation for why he would want his own Supermobile that's just a blatant rip-off of the Batmobile — especially when Superman can actually fly and is faster than this vehicle.

10 Superman Squirt Guns

Superman Squirt Guns
via pinterest.com

Superman has an awful lot of powers. He can breath powerful gusts of air out of his mouth, use heat vision, and has superhuman strength. Yet, shooting water out of his mouth has never been one of them. This toy makes little sense and why the character was chosen for a squirt gun is anybody’s guess.

9 Superman Krazy Koil

Superman Krazy Koil
via cbrimages.com

The Superman Krazy Koil appears to be nothing more than an average Slinky with some branding featuring the Man of Steel himself. It isn’t clear why anyone interested in superheroes would want a Slinky, especially a Superman themed one as he has absolutely no powers that are spring-like or involve springs.

8 Bulky Superman Returns Action Figure

Bulky Superman Returns Action Figure
via amazon.com

This is a Superman Returns action figure based on the depiction of the superhero from the film. The only problem is that it looks nothing like Brandon Routh, the actor who portrays the Man of Steel. Even worse is that the character has a huge chest with defined muscles that are totally at odds with the way Superman usually looks.

7 Specialman

via pinterest.com

You cannot deny that Superman is special. He is an alien being with tremendous powers and skills. He's easily one of the strongest characters in fiction, period. However, calling him "Specialman" might give a few people the wrong impression and it isn’t exactly a catchy name for someone as impressive at the Man of Steel.

6 Superman Utility Belt

Superman Utility Belt
via pinterest.com

It seems that Superman really does have some sort of complex when it comes to being compared to Batman. Sure, the Dark Knight looks cooler and has a bigger fan base, but that doesn’t mean that Superman needs to copy everything he can from him. What is he even going to use a utility belt for when he never uses gadgets or equipment to help him anyway?

5 Superman Sky Diving Parachutist

Superman Sky Diving Parachutist
via pinterest.com

The most recognizable thing that Superman does is fly. So why on earth would anyone ever want to buy or own a Superman action figure that shows him skydiving and not flying? The character wouldn’t even need any equipment thanks to his literal ability to fly— a parachute would be completely redundant.

4 Crystal Escape Superman

Crystal Escape Superman
via box.es

An action figure based on the film Superman Returns, this toy shows the Man of Steel trapped in a giant crystal. The material can be wrapped around Superman or taken off, giving anyone who owns it the chance to see what it would look like if their toy had been frozen as an ice cube.

3 Superman Returns Lex Luthor

Superman Returns Lex Luthor
via mercadolivre.com

Superman Returns might not have been the best film in the famous franchise, but it did have some good moments. Chief among them was the portrayal of Lex Luthor. However, the toy based on the character that was released looked nothing like the villain and more like Uncle Fester from the Addams Family.

2 Lois Lane Barbie Doll

Lois Lane Barbie Doll
via nowandthengalleria.com

Any girl who loves Superman would almost certainly want an action figure of the Man of Steel himself rather than of his love interest Lois Lane. However, even if they did want to play with a toy based on her character, they probably wouldn't choose a Barbie doll. They'd want an action figure that fits in with the rest of the Superman line.

1 Superman Snuggler

Superman Snuggler
via playboy.com

There isn't much to say about this toy other than the fact that it just looks entirely inappropriate for children. Somebody really didn't think about the image this would create when designing the toy, giving Superman a menacing appearance that you will forever see once you have glimpsed it once.

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