There’s no denying that celebrities face a lot of pressure to be picture perfect because well, if they’re not, then they’re destined to be plagued by unflattering photos the rest of their life. (Cue Kim Kardashian crying face after she saw those pictures of herself on the beach in Mexico this past year.) But at the end of the day, celebrities are human after all and similarly to how we struggle with saying no to pizza, pasta, tacos, etc. sometimes the struggle is real for them too. Except while when we put weight on we can hide under layers of clothing and grunt at anyone that dares take a photo of us while we’re in our “fat phase,” celebrities do not have that same luxury.
Instead, the minute they gain a pound or two or forty, they get stalked by paparazzi who can’t wait to just break the news to us mere mortals that celebrities can also gain weight. Although male stars just get ripped apart and made fun of by the media, female celebrities also have to deal with being accused of being pregnant every other day if they gain weight. (Cue Jennifer Anniston who can’t eat a burger and have a slight bloat without making the front page of every gossip magazine claiming that she is pregnant for the seventieth time.) Nevertheless, despite us knowing that celebrities are human just like us, we can’t help but feel better about our winter weight sometimes when we see a star who is going through the same thing.
17. The only thing Arnold’s building now is his belly
Once upon a time, Arnold Schwarzenegger was a great source of inspiration and motivation for individuals. Not only did he come from Austria with not too much English under his belt but he was able to excel despite that and dominate the body-building scene and then become a Hollywood star. That’s right, Arnie won the 1980 Mr. Olympia title and then went on to star in some of our favorite movies from the eighties and nineties like Conan the Barbarian, Twins, Junior, Kindergarten Cop, The Terminator to name a few. Then he went on to marry American Royalty Maria Shriver (a Kennedy) and became the Governor of California. But things have a way of coming down (except his weight that is), and his life began to unravel: not only did he cheat on Maria with the maid and have a baby with her but he also left his trim waist in the nineties along with his movie career.
16. Teen Mom’s Farrah Abraham is all grown-up
Oh boy, where do we even begin with Farrah Abrahams? For anyone who has followed Farah from teenhood into adulthood, you may be familiar with the path that she’s taken from being a teen mom to being an adult film entertainer, to getting way too much plastic surgery to the healthier place she seems to be at now. From day one, when Farah first graced our screens on 16 and Pregnant in 2009, we had a fascination with the young girl who had a whole lot of sass and quite a sad story behind her with her baby’s dad passing away in an accident before their child’s birth. Then when she went on Teen Mom, we also couldn’t peel our eyes away from her, and after, that’s when things begin to take a turn. Not only did Farrah make multiple adult films but she also completely transformed the way that she looks after going under the knife. Girl, is that even you still?
15. James Bond or Kevin James?
The name is Bond, James Bond. Erm, actually it’s James, Kevin James. We kid, we kid. Although yes, Pierce Brosnan has packed on a few pounds (okay maybe slightly more than a few) after leaving the Bond franchise behind him, we have to keep in mind that metabolisms do slow down with age ladies and gentlemen. So even though he’s no longer the svelte Bond we were always used to and had a crush on, we still can’t help but be gushing over Pierce, because, between us, he has always been our favorite Bond. So while he may not be the Bond that we are used to, we’ll still take him as he is over Daniel Craig (sorry, bud, it’s just not the same). On the bright, we can always rewatch GoldenEye. Swoon.
14. Noah Cyrus: From teenager to woman
While we are all too familiar with one of the Cyrus sisters and her transformations over the years, ahem Miley, we have not been keeping as close of tabs on younger sister Noah Cyrus. Since breaking into the Hollywood scene at the young age of 2 on a show called Doc and then later appearing on Hannah Montana in a minor role before moving onto a career in music the young Cyrus has blossomed over the years. While she is still a teenager at seventeen-years-old, and probably way more accomplished already than we are, she has indeed grown up over the years. Between the dark hair and her newly acquired curves, we had to do a double take to recognize Noah. The good news is that becoming a woman is a great thing. Go, girl.
13. Hayley Joel Osment left his lean days in the past (along with his career)
Hm, looking at this image of Hayley Joel Osment our sixth sense is questioning us like, “are you sure that’s him?” The truth is, child stars never really turn out the way that we had hoped for them (Home Alone’s Macaulay Culkin, the Two and Half Men kid, Angus T. Jones etc.) but in Hayley’s case he actually grew up to be a handsome teenager before he was plagued by a love of snacks and consequential weight gain. Where was your sixth sense to warn you about this impending weight gain, huh Osment? Is it just us, or does he actually look like an entirely different person? On the bright side, he seems pretty happy regardless of his weight gain or not so isn’t that the most important thing?
12. Rihanna: Curves for days
Alright, before we start this post, we almost did not start it, because let’s face it, it’s pretty hard to say anything about Rihanna because she’s a queen. Perhaps not a queen like in the Beyonce sense but a queen nonetheless. Regardless if Rihanna gained a few pounds or thirty pounds or even one hundred pounds, there is no doubt in our minds that she would still look incredible. So yes, while she may have become curvier over the years, she’s a woman now, and if anyone owns their curves or womanhood, it’s Rihanna. The bottom line is whether Rihanna loses weight, gains weight, shaves her head, dyes it red, green, purple, whatever, she will probably still look better than us on a good day. So there. Haters gonna hate but this girl owns it like a boss.
11. Alec Baldwin: Packed on the pounds for his SNL role or…?
We get that Alec Baldwin has to play Trump every Saturday on SNL and we understand that he has to look the part but don’t they have costumes for that sort of thing? Or is Alec just so committed to the role that he too has been bingeing on Steak with ketchup (ew), meatloaf sandwiches (ew) and McDonald’s (okay, fine we can agree on one thing)? Either that, or he’s just drowning his sorrows in food after having to play the Donald every week for the last year and a bit. If we had to spend hours every week rehearsing and then impersonating Donald Trump in front of a live audience while reenacting some of the ludicrous things he had said that week we too would turn to junk food for comfort after. We feel you, Alec.
10. Val Kilmer: From Batman to Bloatman?
It seems the more we explore celebrities who look different to how they used to, the more we start to see a pattern: that male Hollywood stars reach a certain point where they stop caring. Sure, Val Kilmer played Batman in the 1995 version of the film, and sure, he was a Hollywood heartthrob for many years but then it’s like, been there done that so yes, he will have an extra side of fries with that. We totally get where he’s coming from though. What’s the point of getting older if you don’t immediately have permission to start eating all of the stuff you denied yourself for so many years when you were trying to impress people? Of course, Val doesn’t care to impress anyone with his taut torso anymore. Not only is his the Val Kilmer but he is also fifty-seven.
9. Russel Crowe: When one has enough money to not care about their waistline anymore
Russel Crowe’s gained weight since his Gladiator days and guess what there is nothing you can say or do about it. Because let’s face it if you were to say something about it he may throw a phone at you or at the very least some serious shade. So this us, not saying anything about his weight gain but merely observing that Russel Crowe fills those Addidas shorts out nicely, don’t you think? We are also not saying anything about his weight gain but just pointing out that he must be super rich because as the saying goes the bigger the belly, the more money they have, right? At least we think that’s how it goes. Anyway, Russel Crowe, you do you, because whether you have gained weight or not (of course you haven’t) you still look good for your erm, personality?
8. Matthew Perry: When the diet ended when Friends did
We get it Chandler, we mean Matthew Perry, we have been emotional eating since Friends ended too. But come on man, we are still holding out for a reunion, and we don’t see how that might happen until you all have it pulled together. You can’t be curvy during the taping of Friends the reunion episode or movie (ooh a movie would be nice, wouldn’t it?) because it just wouldn’t be realistic. There is no way that Monica, Courtney Cox, would allow for her hubby to get chubby. Just think about it, control freak Monica who struggled with her weight would definitely keep both her and Chandler on a strict diet. It’s just the only way that storyline can play out so come on Perry pull it together. Seriously can we please call you Chandler?
7. Brandon Fraser: From 90’s heartthrob to dad bod
Not that there is anything wrong with a dad bod- we personally love the way Chris Pratt looked pre-weightloss (although post-weight loss, we can’t even look at him, it hurts how nice his abs are) and while he was still with Anna Farris (tear), we digress- but come on, Brendan what happened? When we first watched the original Mummy movie, Brendan Fraser was the knight in shining armor we had been waiting for. But now he just looks like the uber driver we ‘ve been waiting for or the guy at the deli we’ve been waiting for to take our ticket and give us our cold cuts. Or he straight up just looks like one of our uncles. (Which one, you may ask? Doesn’t matter. His new look just screams ‘Uncle’)
6. Lara Flynn Boyle: Attack of the fillers
Hollywood can be a ruthless place so we understand the pressure that women, in particular, must be under to keep a youthful appearance because it seems the minute they are forty they suddenly start to get cast in the role of the “grandmother.” It’s ridiculous, and we seriously feel for these women, but we also think that it’s far better to accept the role of a granny if that’s what it comes too than get so many fillers that you barely look like yourself. Lara Flynn Boyle is an attractive woman and more importantly talented, so we don’t think it was necessary for her to get so many fillers that her face looks bloated. She should go back to her filler place and get a refund because girl you look so much better without all of this in your face.
5. John Travolta: He left those abs in the sixties
Oh Johnny boy, another one of our crushes that formed at a young age when we got into watching those older movies and fell in love with the likes of him. Who remembers Danny Zuko in Grease? No one can deny that he was a very attractive young man, but it seems with age as the roles started to dwindle, the opposite was occurring to his waistline. Again, we get that John Travolta probably doesn’t care about his waistline, he’s gotten the movie roles, he’s gotten the girl (Kelly Preston) what more does he want? Other than more snacks and fancy meals out, we are pretty sure Travolta is quite content with his life. So if you asked him if he cared about his weight gain, our guess is he’d say “what weight gain?” Because who really cares.
4. Keeping up with Rob Kardashians eating habits
Those Kardashian’s and their weight loss and weight gains are near impossible to keep up with as they are in constant fluctuation. Seriously, they could dedicate a whole season of the show to just keeping up with their waistlines, and only son Rob Kardashian is no exception. For anyone who has attempted to follow Rob’s weight gaining journey, it’s been quite a tumultuous path and we do feel bad for the stress and depression that he’s endured to end up here. But despite being on the curvier end of the spectrum today, at least he’s doing his best to get back on the healthy track. So Rob, don’t worry about trying to keep up with anyone else’s standards because booty is back in baby, so you’re all good no matter what you decide as long as you’re healthy on the inside.
3. Janet Jackson: When dancing is replaced with snacking
Anytime a celebrity disappears from the limelight you always have to wonder if it’s because of a little bit of weight gain or plastic surgery gone wrong- somehow it is always one or the other. So although we were not too surprised when we saw Janet Jackson’s curvier body, we were surprised that the last time we personally spotted her in the media that frequently before debuting her new look was after that whole Superbowl scandal when she was super fit. So we have to admit we were a little taken aback that Ms. Jackson, who was always super taut and fit had added some curves to her resume. But no judgment on our end. We would much rather reach for the snack than our running shoes too, girl.
2. Mariah Carey: The Honey days are behind her
If anyone can remember Mariah Carey in the nineties, she was a little bombshell with the voice of an angel. From her power ballads to her songs like ‘Honey,’ Mariah often frequented the stage, her music videos and the public in tiny little outfits showing off her svelte body. But as we have mentioned before, in the world of celebrity eventually you become older, more successful and too rich to care about being on restrictive diets and exercise regimens. However, while most people may throw out their little outfits after this occurs and they gain some weight, Mariah Carey can’t even be phased by that. So instead she still squeezes into those tiny outfits from her ‘Honey’ days she just looks a bit different in them to the way that she did in the nineties.
1. Kelly Clarkson: When one is talented enough they could care less about their size
Kelly Clarkson first burst onto the stage on American Idol and immediately caught our eye on the first ever season of the show. Not only did she sound the part but she also looked the part of a young pop star. But as Kelly matured over the ages and her talent remained consistent releasing one catchy song after another, she stopped worrying so much about looking the part of the young pop star. Quite frankly, who cares because she is still creating the music we all fell in love with her for, and she shows no signs of slowing down. Despite looking different from her humble beginnings, we have to keep in mind that the season of American Idol that she was on premiered in 2002. We look totally different since then too. No more braces and frizzy hair so, you know, cut the girl a break.
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