When it comes to toxic and unhealthy relationships, romantic relationships aren’t the only ones that can have this dynamic. Friends are often some of the most important people in your life, and they can make life much better and more fun. While healthy friendships leave you feeling good about yourself and supported, unhealthy friendships can drain your energy and make your life more difficult. Leaving behind toxic friends can be difficult, but it’s worth it in the long run.
Here are 10 signs that your friend is actually toxic.
10 YOU’RE ALWAYS THE ONE REACHING OUT AND GIVE MORE THAN YOU GET.
In a good dynamic, both you and your friend are reaching out to each other and wanting to spend time together. If you find that you’re always the one calling, texting, or planning get-togethers, this friend might not be good for you.
If you find you’re emotionally more invested in the relationship, this could be a sign that the friendship has become unhealthy and it’s time to take a step back and let the friendship go.
9 THEY ALWAYS TALK ABOUT THEMSELVES AND THEIR PROBLEMS BUT NEVER ASK YOU ABOUT YOURS.
Another sign of a toxic person is that everything is always all about them. If your friend talks about themselves all the time and expects you to listen and support them, but rarely returns the favor.
A friendship should entail both people feeling like they can share what they are going through and be listened to. If you’re in a one-sided dynamic where your thoughts and feelings are rarely able to be expressed, this isn’t a good sign.
8 THE RELATIONSHIP IS AN EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER.
Toxic people often keep you in their life by leaving you on an emotional roller coaster. When you’re fighting and not getting along, things might suddenly take a turn for the better and you’ll find you’re having fun again.
If you feel like you never know what mood your friend is going to be in and if you're going to get along or not, it can be hard to feel safe and relaxed in the friendship. While everyone has bad moods or rough times in their life, if someone is manipulating your emotions, it’s a big red flag.
7 THEY OFTEN CRITICIZE YOU OR TALK NEGATIVELY ABOUT YOU.
A friend who spends a lot of time saying negative things about you, whether to your face or behind your back, is no friend at all. If you find that your friend often criticizes you and makes you feel insecure about yourself, this could be a toxic dynamic.
This kind of frenemy dynamic is rarely a healthy one. You deserve to have friends who make you feel good about yourself and who support and buoy you up.
6 IT FEELS LIKE THEY TRY TO CONTROL WHAT YOU DO OR WHO YOU SEE.
It isn’t only in romantic relationships where someone close to you can try and manipulate and control you. A toxic person might try to keep you from spending time with other people in your life and want all of your attention.
If they throw fits or start fights when you spend time with friends that aren’t them, this could be a big problem. In a healthy dynamic, friends trust each other and communicate, they don’t try and control the other person's life.
5 YOU FEEL STRESSED WHEN YOU’RE AROUND THEM.
When trying to figure out if your friend is toxic, it’s important to pay attention to how they make you feel when you're around them. If you notice signs of stress before you go to hang out such as a feeling of dread, it’s important you trust that.
A toxic friend will likely make you feel stressed and unable to relax when you’re around them.
4 IT’S NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE TO TRUST THEM.
All good relationships are predicated on trust. When your friend is toxic or unhealthy for you, it can be difficult to trust them.
Maybe they have lied to you in the past or they use manipulative tactics. If you always feel a little uneasy about whether to believe them or to trust that they have your best interests at heart, it’s likely time to say goodbye.
3 THERE IS CONSTANTLY DRAMA WHEN THEY ARE AROUND.
People that consistently like to stir up drama and cause contention are often toxic people to be around. If your friend is always talking badly about other friends and trying to cause drama in the friend group, you should be wary of them.
With a healthy relationship, you can feel like you can have a good time and enjoy your time together. Toxic friends might spend time stirring the pot and enjoying drama and fighting.
2 WHEN YOU TALK OR SEE THEM, YOU FEEL DRAINED AND UNHAPPY.
Overall, the people in your life should make you feel happier and emotionally supported when you are with them. This doesn’t mean that you should be a fair-weather friend, but it’s important to look at patterns.
Of course, if your friend is going through a rough time or needs support it doesn’t mean that you should write them off as toxic. But, if you find that your friend is continually draining your energy and leaving you feeling unhappy after you see them, this is a good time to reflect on the friendship.
1 1.THEY PLAY GAMES WITH YOU.
You want friends that you can trust to have your best interest at heart. Friends who play games with you where one day the yare nice and one day they are distant or negative aren’t good friends.
If your friend makes you feel unsure about the stability of the friendship, this is another red flag. A good friend will also support the other things you have going on in your life and won’t try to manipulate or make you feel bad about these things.