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Signs He's Looking For Love, Not Lust (According To A Guy)

It's always exciting to learn that the guy that we want to be with is interested in us, too, but we might not realize that unless he comes right out and says that he likes us. Having a crush is a tricky thing. We would love to assume that just because a guy is talking to us or smiling at us or being sweet, that means he's thinking of us as a possible girlfriend. It's not always that simple (and it can be pretty disappointing if we make those assumptions).

When we're looking for love, we think about it on a regular basis, whether we're watching a romantic movie, talking to our best friend or sister, or looking at the social media accounts of the guy that we have our eye on. When a guy is looking for love, he's got his eyes and ears open, too, and there are many signs that he's interested in something that is going to be super real.

Here are 20 signs that he's looking for love, according to a guy. Once we know these signs, we'll be sure that when someone acts like this toward us, we have a good chance of finding love.

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20 He's Nice And Friendly At Parties Because He's Actively Looking To Meet Someone

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Guys who are looking for lust might not be that friendly at a party or when they meet a new girl. They might be at first if they think that she also wants something casual but they'll probably assume that girls want a boyfriend and he knows he's not into that.

Guys who are looking for love, on the other hand, are going to be really nice and friendly when they meet us at a party.

They're actively looking to meet someone, and they know that meeting someone in person is a great bet.

It's cool to make a connection with someone IRL and slowly get to know each other.

19 He Says He's Been Using Dating Apps Lately But Not Having Much Luck

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When a guy is looking for love, he's going to be using at least one dating app. He's probably tried a few. And it's possible that he'll tell us that he's not having that much luck with it.

He wants to find a girlfriend, so he's going to be honest about the dating struggles that he's having and the fact that he hasn't gone on any good dates lately or met any girls that he likes. He is probably thinking of us as a potential person to date, so it makes sense that he's going to share these things. And, of course, that gives us the chance to talk about the fact that we're also single and not having the best luck (and, hey, maybe we should go out...).

18 He's Happy To Just Sit And Talk To Us

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Newly in love couples always say that they knew that it was real love when they stayed up all night just talking or when they could sit together and chat without moving for hours and hours.

That's definitely a good way to see how we feel about someone.

It's good news when a guy wants to sit and talk to us for a long time, and it also shows that he's open to falling in love. If he was just looking for lust, he would be acting bored and he wouldn't be so invested and interested in the conversation. We can tell the difference once we think about it.

17 He's Reliable When It Comes To Making Plans

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Guys who are looking for lust or a casual relationship aren't always that reliable. Okay, they're not usually very reliable. It's easy to feel that they keep their evenings open if a "better offer" comes in or if they get a few invitations that they want to say yes to.

Guys who are looking for love have a different approach to plans. In other words, they are reliable and keep every plan. They're also super easy to make plans with. If we ask them to do something, they say yes, and they have no issues with asking us to go for dinner or to hang out with them, either.

16 He Likes Going Slow Instead Of Moving Fast (And Even Suggests It)

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If a guy wants to fall in love, he knows that falling fast can be troublesome and it doesn't work the way that it seems like it would. Sometimes, we fall fast for someone without really knowing who they are, and once we've got real feelings for them, we learn some things that we wish that we had been aware of before.

Guys who want love will go slow.

They might even suggest it and say that it's important to them that they get to know us and feel comfortable with us. We'll be happy to hear this and we want to be as comfortable as possible, too.

15 He Laughs When We Make Jokes

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We laugh at a guy's jokes when we've got a crush on him, right? Whether he's hilarious or not anything even close to a stand-up comic, we can't stop ourselves from giggling when he says pretty much anything and everything. It's just what happens when you like someone.

Guys will do the same thing. A guy who likes us and who wants love will always laugh when we say something that is really funny (or even a little bit funny). It might not be the only way to tell that he likes us and wants to date us for real, but if there are a few other signs, then it's a good way to tell.

14 He Doesn't Shy Away From Talking About How We Feel About Each Other

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Whenever a guy (or a girl) says that they find it tough to talk about their feelings, they say that they're afraid to get really raw and honest. No one wants to bare their soul and hear that the other person doesn't feel like that.

Guys who want love aren't scared of saying how they feel.

We can be confident that we're dating a guy who is in it for the long term when he can tell us that he has feelings for us and that he wants to be with us. He won't mess around with vague words or dance around the subject.

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13 He's Not Talking To Or Hanging Out With Other Girls

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It can be hard to understand why some guys like to talk to a few different girls at once or even date them. We love knowing that the guy that we like feels the same and that we're the only one on his radar. It's important to go into a new relationship knowing that we're on the same page about exclusivity.

A guy who wants a real girlfriend would never date anyone else or text a bunch of people while he's hanging out with us. He likes us and he wants to get to know us, and if we feel the same way about him, then we'll be glad that he has such a mature view of relationships.

12 He Would Never Keep Us A Secret

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It's pretty common for guys who are looking for lust or something casual to not talk to other people, such as their friends or family, about the girl that they're seeing. They're not thinking about anything serious.

A guy who wants to get serious with someone is definitely going to talk to the people in his life about the new girl that he's so excited to be dating.

He won't keep us a secret at all. If we have been kept a secret in the past, that's unfortunate and that really sucks, so this will be a nice change for us.

11 He Texts When He Says That He Will

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We have all dated people who texted us too much or not at all, and it's not fun to think that someone cares about us but have to sit and wonder why he's ignoring us for hours or why he's not contacting us when we know that he should.

When a guy is looking for love, he texts when he says that he will. He is someone that we can absolutely rely on and he is going to be loyal to us. The exciting and awesome thing is that we'll be able to tell how sweet and mature he is from the start. He knows that it's weird not to be in constant touch with someone that you're looking to date, and we'll be happy about his texting behavior.

10 He Sees Us More Than His Friends Or Family

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Something magical happens at the beginning of a relationship: we hang out with this new person so often that we see them more than our friends or our family.

Everything becomes about them and we are so nuts about them that it feels like the only way that things should be going.

When he sees us more than the other people in his life, especially in those early weeks or months of dating, it's a good sign that he's looking for love. He knows that the best way to find a real partner is to get to know someone and see them all of the time.

9 He's A Gentlemen On The First Few Dates

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A man will act like a total gentleman when he's looking for love and not lust.

That could mean holding our hand, waiting to kiss us until we've had a few dates or we've signaled that we're completely comfortable with the idea, or just opening doors for us and paying the bill and making us dinner or whatever else proves that he's a good guy.

It's really wonderful to date someone who treats us well. It's possible that he's the first guy in a while (or maybe ever) to be like this and we'll be glad that we've met him and that he's in our lives.

8 He Shows His Emotions And Doesn't Think That He Should Be Embarrassed

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It's funny how nervous we are in the beginning of a relationship when it comes to sharing our feelings with a new guy. Will he laugh when we say something romantic or a bit cheesy? Will he agree that this is an amazing new romance and say that he feels the same way that we do? Will be want to hear what we're feeling?

And then once we're more comfortable with each other, talking about emotions becomes no big deal at all.

We can be happy that the guy that we like is interested in finding love when he can talk about emotions... probably in a way that we haven't seen another guy do before.

7 He Secretly Pays For The First Or Second Date

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If we've ever had this experience on a first or second date, it's pretty awesome: the guy that we're with goes to the bathroom and then secretly pays.

He does this because he wants to do something nice and he wants to be a gentleman, but he doesn't want to make a big show of things at the table.

We might be super surprised when he does this because we would never think that someone would. It just seems so nice. He cares about making a great impression and that's totally what he's doing, and we'll want to see him again.

6 He's Not Into Partying Anymore

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Guys who want nothing more than a casual relationship are into the partying lifestyle. They're not that mature and they want to have fun in the here and now. It's all about living in the moment and while that's okay for a certain period of time, we would agree that growing up does have to occur.

We want someone who is more mature and who doesn't want to party all of the time.

When we meet a guy who isn't doing that anymore and seems more serious about his life, we can be sure that he's looking for love, just like we are.

5 He's Honest And Puts His Cards On The Table Right Away

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He talks about a past relationship that didn't go so well, or his last breakup, or anything else that we need to know (or should know if we're going to be serious about each other).

He is cool with chatting about the past and he's honest. He puts his cards on the table right away and expects us to do the same. If he just wanted a casual thing, he would never talk to us like this and we would never feel so close to him, so it's an obvious difference. It's easy to get to know him and we feel like we really know each other well.

4 Saying Sweet Nothings Regularly Is No Big Deal

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Guys don't need to tell us sweet nothings and words full of romance on a daily basis... but it's pretty nice when the guy that we're dating lets us know regularly how much he likes us.

It's even better when he talks about why he's with us because then we're confident that he's got genuine feelings and we don't have to be confused about anything.

He's looking for love when saying sweet nothings on a regular basis is no big deal to him and he's happy to do that. It's great if we say the same things so he doesn't wonder how we feel.

3 He's Truly Thrilled To Make Family And Friend Introductions

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Introducing a new girlfriend to friends and family is one thing. Being thrilled and feeling so good about the girl that he has chosen to be with? That's on another level and it's so good when that's how he feels about us.

We can feel the difference and, of course, it feels amazing. We know that the feeling is equal and mutual and we're just as thrilled to meet the people that he has been friends with and the people that know him best. It's good vibes and it might not be something that we've experienced before, and that's how we know that it's love.

2 He Can't Wait To DTR

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Guys who want love know when they've met a great girl. He wants to DTR because he believes that he's found love with us (or that he could very soon, once we keep getting to know each other).

Guys who want lust would never have this type of discussion.

They would never dream of asking us to be their girlfriend or trying to figure out where we stand and how we feel about each other since they don't want to have to tell us that they're not looking for a relationship. This is a very clear distinction between a guy who wants lust and a guy who is looking for love.

1 He Allows Us To Get To Know Him Instead Of Putting Up Walls

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A guy who wants love and is ready to meet someone won't put up any walls. He'll be open with us no matter what the subject and we'll be able to tell that he's for real and not faking at all.

He allows us to get to know him. This is why, when we meet the guy who is right for us, we feel like we've known him our whole lives and we can't believe how close we feel. We just connect on a level that we haven't found before and it couldn't possibly be better. We know that we could fall for each other and that, in fact, it's already going on.

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