Shy Girls: How To Break Out Of Your Shell

Being known as "the shy girl" is never easy, and it's all too common for members of the timid squad to feel ashamed of their quiet nature. It's as though there is something wrong with us for our inability to branch out. First things first, it is important for all of the shy girls out there to know that you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed about for your lack of outspokenness. In fact, shy girls should take pride in their soft-spoken nature and appreciate what strengths can come out of their wallflower ways.

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For example, shy people tend to be much more observant, which is something those who are more talkative can easily lack. All types of personalities, whether as timid as a mouse or as loud as a lion, are able to bring something unique to the table. Yet if you are a shy girl, it is important to find ways to break out of your shell if you feel as though you aren't able to express yourself.


This is much easier said than done, but everyone who is anyone has faced rejection before, whether that be social rejection, romantic rejection, or otherwise. Point is, you will never know what it is like to achieve all of your wildest goals and dreams unless you are willing to put yourself out there and potentially get hurt.

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As much as you want to crawl into your shell and keep your nose stuck in a book rather than ask that group of popular girls if you can sit with them at the lunch table, taking the safer route all of the time will never give you the results you seek. If you keep this in mind, you will be less afraid to put yourself out there by trying to branch out and make more friends. So what if people don't accept you? It's their loss, and you can at least be super proud of yourself that you tried.


The truth is people adore talking about themselves. It is just a fact. If you find yourself struggling to come up with things to talk about within your group of friends (or a class partner/group etc.), start asking them questions about themselves.

Rather than having that boring "small talk" which really does nothing to strengthen a bond, ask them questions that you are genuinely curious about. Instead of asking them where they were born or what street they live on, ask them who they think the cutest celebrity couple is or what their guilty pleasure TV show is. Keep it fun and be sure to give your answer too! You don't want to just establish yourself as the Barbara Walters of the group by constantly interviewing people without expressing your own opinion. Which leads to the next thing...


If you are a shy person who is trying to break out of your shell and you desperately want to get closer to a group of friends, it is essential that you never sacrifice your own stance and opinions on things in order to please the rest of the group. The best way to have a strong personality and to be a better friend is to be honest.

If you are constantly agreeing with everything they say, they will quickly catch on to this and lose respect for you. In order to have respect within the group and break out of your shell, you need to reveal your own stance on whatever matter it may be. This will give you a more defined personality. Of course, you should never disagree with someone just for the sake of disagreement, but if ever an issue comes up where you have a separate opinion, express your beliefs in a gentle and inclusive way.


An easy way to break out of your shell as a shy person is to befriend other members of the timid squad. This way, you both will have a better understanding of where you are coming from, and you will each feel the same burning desire to express yourselves. This could lead to an epic friendship where you both can rely on each other to socialize more and work as a team unit.

It's always easier to have someone else who is in the same boat as you, so you won't have to go through the process of trying to branch out alone.


While films such as Mean Girls would lead us all to believe that the popular girls in school are all evil and power-hungry, in reality, this is usually not the case. Sometimes, a person at school or work is popular because they are a genuinely good person. Find an outgoing person that you find to be trustworthy and form a friendship with them.

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These kinds of people love to take others under their wing and look out for them, in order to help them break out of their shell. Of course, you should try to be their friend because you are genuinely inspired or moved by them, rather than for the purpose of climbing that social ladder. If you are only looking to gain popularity, forget it. They will catch on, and ultimately feel used.


Rather than relying on relevant trends to be more popular or socially accepted, choose authenticity instead. Being authentic is the easiest way to draw people towards you. Dress how you want to dress. Listen to the music that you want to listen to.

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Never cling to what's considered trendy in order to fit in (unless you genuinely love what is trendy). People will be inspired by your authenticity and want to be around you more. Plus, being true to who you are is the only real way to properly break out of your shell.


While it is so easy and comforting for shy girls to spend their weekends cuddled up with their pet dog while binge-watching Criminal Minds on Netflix, it is important to reserve at least one day during the weekend to go out with your friends and socialize. Rather than considering your social outing a chore or a drag, try to think of it as an adventure because it very well could end up being one.

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You never know what will happen in that one night. Yes, it could just be another boring football game or a forgettable trip to the movie theater with your friends, but on the other hand, it could end up being one of the best nights of your life. You will never know unless you turn off the TV and get out there.


If you spread positivity wherever you go, whether it's complimenting that one co-worker's shoes or kindly helping a classmate out with a homework question, making yourself a source of light in your peers' lives will instantly draw people towards you.

Make sure you find ways for this positivity to be authentic and always look out for yourself in the same way that you look out for others. Treat others the way you want to be treated and eventually the love you put out there will be returned.


This is pretty much the worst thing you can do. In the same way that you should never try to force a romantic relationship, you should never attempt to force a friendship because it will only come across as desperate and clingy. Do your best to be able to read people in order to figure out whether or not they want to accept you as their friend.

If they don't seem to be making any attempt to include you in their group, if they are constantly staring down at their phone and texting away as you're trying to talk to them, if they're acting as though you are wearing an invisibility cloak whenever you're around them, they aren't worth your time. Find a different group of friends who will openly accept you and embrace you just as you are.


A great way to show leadership is to form your own plans with people. It's easy to rely on others to include you in social situations, but sometimes it is important for you to take the initiative and form the plans every once in a while. Get creative and come up with a night of fun that everyone will love.

If you currently feel as though you aren't being included enough in plans made by people you "thought" were your friends, it's important to stop yourself from sulking and instead realize that you are able to choose your own destiny.

NEXT: 15 Signs It's Time To Let The Friendship Go

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