If you look at the timeline of Jay-Z and Beyoncé ’s marriage, it’s a whirlwind rollercoaster of emotions and ups and downs. But the two have managed to stay together through all those ups and downs— through the cheating, the fame, the drama. The Carters are the most powerful musical duo in the world, and their marriage makes them billionaires. But even billionaires go through divorce.

So, how did Jay and Bey do it? They learned the tools to work through their problems, be it through music, therapy, interviews, or using their public platforms. And in doing all of their growing in a very public way, they’ve actually become good role models for their fans and for people going through similar struggles. They show that life’s problems hit all of us— even the wealthy and mega-famous— and that no one can escape it.

The best way to defeat life’s problems is to address them head-on. Here are 20 ways that Beyoncé and Jay-Z kept their marriage alive when the going got tough.

35 Keeping Music Collaborations Professional

Long before Jay-Z admitted he had cheated on Beyoncé , there were rumors that he was an adulterer. In 2005, rumors spread that he had cheated on the pop sensation with Rihanna, another pop sensation, who was just 17 when she popped onto the music scene. But, for the most part, Jay has always kept his music collaborations (such as with Rita Ora) with signees professional, despite news of an affair spreading.

34 Jay-Z Admitting He Cheated

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Back in 2013, star LIV claimed that Jay-Z came on to her, but that she bowed out due to respect for Queen Bee. Later that year, reports spread that the hip-hop mogul partied too hard with Claudia Scheelen. Then Solange beat the bricks off Jay-Z in an elevator in 2014. Finally, in 2017, Jay-Z admitted he cheated on Beyoncé, to the surprise of no one. It was the first step in moving past the scandal— admittance— so that they could start to work on their marriage again.

32 Using Music As Therapy

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After admitting he cheated on Bey, Jay-Z said that they were very much using their respective music as a means of therapy. This was clear when Beyoncé released the groundbreaking album Lemonade, which alluded multiple times to Jay’s infidelity, and Jay-Z released 4:44 in 2017 that also talked about his cheating ways in a candid manner— sort of as an introspective look at himself.

30 Talking Things Through In A Public Forum

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The news that Jay-Z had cheated on Beyoncé, even though not surprising, was still making headlines everywhere. And rather than hide away from the pressure, Jay-Z and Beyoncé both talked through things in a very public way— through public forums, interviews, and their own music. This was a good way for them to work things out and to keep the gossip to a minimum at the same time: most of what people were getting, they were getting directly from the horse’s mouth, as it were.

28 Jay-Z “Looking Inside Himself”

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Jay-Z first opened up about his adultery to the New York Times, talking about what it’s like “seeing pain on someone’s face that you caused.” He also said, “You know, most people walk away. And like divorce rate is like 50% or something, because most people can’t see themselves… then you have to deal with yourself. So, you know, most people don’t want to do that. You don’t want to look inside yourself. And so you walk away.” Well, it was clear that Jay wasn’t walking away, so he had some soul searching to do.

26 Jay-Z Opening Up To David Letterman

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Much of that soul searching came during a candid David Letterman interview on his Netflix show, My Next Guest Needs No Introduction. Both of the stars talked about their cheating pasts. This was in April 2018, when Jay-Z opened up even more and it became clear that the rap mogul started to take a good look at himself and the hurt he’d caused. He openly discussed working on himself so that he’d have the emotional tools needed to keep his family together.

24 Going To Couples Therapy

Despite all of the shenanigans, headlines, and gossip, Jay-Z & Beyoncé have made sure to stick together in the public light, and to profess their undying love for each other on multiple occasions. But behind the scenes, the two went to couples therapy to get help. They needed a more private means to work through all the drama that had transpired.

23 Having An Understanding Wife

Jay-Z is lucky not just because he has a beautiful wife in Beyoncé — and one of the most loved superstars in the world— but because she’s understanding, too. That’s much harder to come by. Many people would have dropped Jay right then and there, despite how rich or famous he might be. But these two are willing to talk through their problems in order to realize that they’re still soulmates, and that they’re in this thing for the long haul.

22 Communication Is Key

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One aspect that became clear between 2017 and 2018, when Jay went on a whirlwind of interviews to profess his mistakes and talk about working on his future while Beyoncé did similar, was that the two have managed to stay strong through their strong communication skills. They trust each other, but that trust was damaged, and communication was key in making sure they got back on the right track.

20 Having Respect For One Another’s Craft

Jay-Z told New York Times executive editor, Dean Baquet, that he and Beyoncé were both making “very confessional, open albums,” and he went on to explain that it didn’t start that way, that “we were using our art almost like a therapy session. And we started making music together.” He also added, “I was really proud of the music she made, and she was really proud of the art I released. And, you know, at the end of the day we really have a healthy respect for one another’s craft. I think she’s amazing.”

19 Not Willing To Walk Away

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The two got married in 2008. It was almost 10 years later that Jay-Z admitted his infidelity, and that was when they started working through their family troubles, so Jay could work toward reconciliation. As he told the New York Times, most people walk away from situations like that, but neither of them were willing to do that. They had kids to think about— first Blue Ivy in 2012, then Rumi and Sir, the twins, in 2017.

17 Not Rushing Into Marriage

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Another thing that kept the two strong was that they didn’t rush into marriage— this wasn’t some flaky, fly-by-night Las Vegas Strip wedding. At first, Beyoncé didn’t even like Jay-Z, according to him. They first met 16 years ago, when Beyoncé had just broken up with her serious boyfriend Lyndell Locke, after six years. They took six long years to get to know each other before officially tying the knot in 2008, and that kind of understanding goes a long way.

15 Family Bonds: Kids

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The other thing that Jay-Z and Beyoncé share— that is probably the most bonding thing of all— is their kids. Children were the best thing that could have happened to the Carters, because when things were rocky, Blue Ivy was there (and then Rumi and Sir) to keep them afloat. The affair had already occurred when they had Blue Ivy in 2012— with pressures of the music industry rumored to have caused the affair.

13 Spending As Much Time Together As Possible

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Having twins after all of the drama occurred helped to make their family bonds stronger, without a doubt. They had the twins after their personalized songs were written (with Lemonade and 4:44), and things became more stable once they started acting like a family again, going on entire family outings, being spotted together by paparazzi— and doing all of it with the kids.

11 Being Equals Rather Than Competition

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It’s impossible to say who is the better music artist— they’re both so big in their respective fields. That’s what makes them the biggest power couple in music. But they’ve managed to create a useful template for marriage through their music endeavors, not despite their musical endeavors. They see each other as equals rather than separate competitors vying for listeners’ ears.

9 Being Dedicated To Each Other

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Jay-Z first told David Letterman that he was dedicated to make his relationship with Queen Bee work. The pair were so committed to keeping their marriage and family intact that they went to therapy, and they even made millions off their drama through their music. The dedication that Beyoncé and Jay-Z have shown each other— through their craft, their businesses, their family— is almost unparalleled in the music world, especially with such high profile people.

7 Working Through Infidelity Issues, Not Ignoring Them

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Jay and Bey managed to work through their infidelity issues, rather than ignore them, and that’s what led to their success and rekindling of the flame. Before his admittance, there was the thinly veiled lyric in “Sorry,” which has become infamous: “He better call Becky with the good hair.” As he said to NYT, relayed by Bustle: “I have a beautiful wife who’s understanding and knew I’m not the worst of what I’ve done. We did the hard work of going to therapy and you know, we love each other, right? So we really put in the work.”

5 Jay-Z Learning To “Depersonalize Others’ Aggression”

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Jay-Z admitted that therapy gave him a huge advantage in everyday life, which he hadn’t expected. He started to understand where his difficult emotions were coming from, and rather than blaming everything on everyone else, he learned to depersonalize others’ aggression— because he realized that they were dealing with their own difficult emotions.

3 Jay-Z Understanding That “Everything Is Connected”

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It took the most successful rapper in history going to therapy to learn aspects of pain and suffering that he would’ve never understood before. He learned “everything is connected,” and, “Being aware of it in everyday life puts you at such an advantage. You realize that if someone’s racist toward you, it ain’t about you, it’s about their upbringing and what happened to them, and how that led them to this point.”

1 Going Into “Survival Mode”

In his interview with the New York Times, Jay-Z detailed his positive experience to help change his perception, saying, “You have to survive. So you go into survival mode, and when you go into survival mode what happens? You shut down all emotions. So even with women, you gonna shut down emotionally, so you can’t connect. Just realizing that, oh my goodness, these young men coming from these… they’re just in pain.”

Sources: nytimes.com, newsweek.com, cheatsheet.com, eonline.com, bustle.com

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