Relationships can be rewarding but they aren’t always easy. If they were, everyone would be eager to jump into one. There are things that we sometimes do while we are in a relationship that could easily chase our partner away, and we may not even be aware we are doing it. Relationships take work, and they are not one-sided.
Things like talking negatively about ourselves, always expecting without giving, and even being unaffectionate can lead to troubled waters in a relationship. Sometimes knowing what to look out for is half the battle. Continue reading to see 10 ways you may be ruining your relationship without even realizing it.
10 Talking Bad About Yourself
Talking about yourself negatively isn’t just bad for your own mental health and self-esteem, but it can be damaging to a romantic relationship as well. You will always see flaws in yourself that no one else can see. This is just giving others a negative image and can lead them to see things that aren’t actually there.
If you keep calling the sky yellow, there is always someone else who is bound to believe that the sky is actually yellow. Plus, constantly talking bad about yourself requires your partner to feel obligated to always reassure you of your worth which can eventually become tedious.
9 Taking Feedback Negatively
No matter what we do, we will always receive some kind of feedback from someone; this includes our significant other. Sometimes when we receive feedback, we can often get defensive which can turn into a confrontation. Our reactions to this perceived criticism can make all the difference in the outcome of any situation.
Body language and tone of voice are big factors in how one can interpret your reaction, try to keep a calm tone. Crossing your arms over your chest can be read as shutting down or being defensive. If you take every little thing negatively, it can also cause your partner to want to avoid telling you what is on their mind out of fear of how you will react which isn’t healthy for any relationship.
8 Expecting Too Much
When it comes to expecting your partner to do things for you it can become daunting for them. It may make them feel like they can't live up to your expectations. We need to be aware of the fact that we shouldn’t expect anything from anyone. When someone does something for us, it is usually out of the kindness of their heart.
All too often we may assume that our partner has to do things for us when they really don’t. Expecting too much can be a sure way to ruin any relationship effortlessly. Who likes to feel like they are obligated to do things, or like they can’t meet someone else's standards? Also, if you are not willing to do something for your partner, do not expect them to do things for.
7 Playing The Blame Game
Most of us do not like to focus on our own faults and seek to blame others. For many people, owning up to a mistake or being wrong can be challenging. It is always easier to pass the blame on to someone else than take responsibility for it. Always putting the blame on your partner is not taking responsibility for your own behavior or actions.
Playing the blame game can make your partner feel belittled or inadequate. How would you feel if your partner was always blaming you for every little thing? It is not a good feeling and we have all been there at one point or another. If you're wrong, admit it.
6 Telling Your Best Friend Everything
Most of us have that one go-to person that we tell everything to whether it is good or bad. But when we are in a relationship, somethings should remain private. Telling your bestie about every fight that you and your significant other have can often lead to this person looking at your partner in a negative way.
After all, they are only getting one side of the story and every story has three sides; your side, their side, and the truth. Some people also like to be a little more private than others.
5 Letting Your Past Be Part Of Your Present
While your past has led you to where you are now, it is the past. What has happened previously can never be undone or changed. Always dragging up the past in a bad way can lead to a lot of relationship problems.
If you want to continue to move forward, you cannot always be looking behind you. It also does not mean your partner is going to repeat bad behavior others may have done in the past. Realizing this is a step forward. When things happen to us, we live and we learn and then we should try to move on if we want our relationship to work.
4 Assuming The Worst
It can feel horrible when your significant other always assumes the worst in you. Just knowing this should be a good reason to never assume the worst in your partner. This can make your significant other feel like what they do is not good enough.
It can also make them feel like you don’t trust them or believe in them as well. Always try to keep a good line of communication between one another, and ask questions without a blaming tone. Then sit and hear them out and try to actively listen to what your partner is saying.
3 Lacking In Self-Care
For some people, after being in a relationship for a while their self-care can become minimal or even cease to exist. A lot of the time, this isn’t an intentional thing; it’s a comfortability thing.
It may make it appear to your partner that you gave up or even stopped trying to care about your appearance if your regular jeans become regular sweats. Self-care isn’t just about appearances, either. It goes beyond that from watching what we eat to taking some much needed me time.
2 Being Closed To Trying New Things
When things become routine in a relationship there is a good chance that things can become overly predictable or perhaps even boring. Trying new things can keep a relationship alive and spice things up. Being closed-minded to new things can often spell out trouble at times.
Even little things like trying out a new restaurant or meal can be beneficial. Predictability can be comforting for some and dull to others. Sometimes just mixing things up a little can also help.
1 Not Showing Affection
When you are in a relationship, showing affection can be a healthy thing. It can help your partner feel loved and wanted. So, when the affection stops there is a good chance that your partner may feel like you stopped caring about them or that something else is going on.
Little gestures like holding your significant other's hand can help keep the spark alive too. Most people crave affection from time to time, and when you are lacking in this department it could be ruining your relationship and you may not even be aware of it.