Even finding yourself in a relationship can seem like a tricky and kind of rare thing, and unfortunately there are a lot of girls and women out there who find themselves dating guys who can't or won't commit to them for some reason or another. And while existing in this kind of relationship limbo can be incredibly frustrating for anyone who wants to feel like they're in a secure long term commitment, it's also the kind of frustrating situation that can't, or often shouldn't, be solved by one party in the relationship trying to coax or even force the other into a sincere commitment. So, if you find yourself irritated because you just want to be able to put "In A Relationship" in your Facebook status but your commitment phobic man keeps leaving you wanting, then here are a few really great reasons why you should reconsider trying to force a commitment on to him in the first place.
Although it would be incredibly convenient if everyone in the world ran on the same time table as us, there is always a possibility that your man is unwilling to commit because he simply isn't ready for it yet, and unfortunately trying to force it on him won't make him any more ready (or could even have the opposite of the intended effect). That doesn't mean that you can't help him on his way and try to make him more comfortable with the idea, but ultimately a relationship that has a sincere and deep commitment just can't be forced on a person.
Having a serious commitment between you and your partner can certainly give you a sense of confidence and security in the state of your relationship, but something that you should always consider before trying to get serious is whether or not that's something you actually want because of your deep feelings for your partner. It's always possible that you're seeking a commitment simply for the sake of having one, and not because you want to be in a committed relationship with this particular person. If you want to nail down a commitment just so you can feel secure then perhaps you should wait until it's more about your partner than about you.
It's pretty safe to say that if most people had the option to just fast forward the development of their relationships into a solid and loving partnership, they'd do it. But unfortunately there is nothing that can replace the time that relationships need to become serious, and you can always ask for a commitment before you're really ready for it but that could leave you with a label of committed relationship without the actual meaning behind it.
If you really want a commitment from a man then clearly you want it to be a genuine commitment, but if you put a rush on your time table then you might wind up being disappointed in the end.
Being with a man who doesn't want to commit can make you feel really insecure, regardless of why they actually aren't ready to commit. But if you and your man aren't seeing eye to eye when it comes to how serious you want your relationship to be then maybe you need to figure out a way that you can see eye to eye and both of you can be somewhat satisfied. If you want a guy to do something he doesn't want to simply because it's what you want then you should at least show them the same courtesy and make some concessions on your end.
Even the best relationships take work to make them work, but there are some limits on how difficult a relationship should be in order for it to continue or get better. A genuinely good relationship should involve two partners who are working together, not one partner who is trying to change the other or get them to do something they really don't want to do.
It can be really hard to acknowledge that a relationship might not be built to last if you're not ready to accept that, but sometimes coming to that realization is better than continually trying to force a relationship that isn't meant to be.
Or at least, the time limit is a lot longer than you think it is. Clearly you don't want to spend your entire life in a relationship that feels like it's in limbo, but ultimately if one of you isn't comfortable with a stable commitment at a certain point then it's better to wait until you're both there. I mean how would you feel if the situation was reversed? If you were uncomfortable or not ready to cross a certain threshold in your relationship and your partner tried to pressure you into it you probably wouldn't be happy, so it's fair to give your significant other the same consideration.
There is a lot of societal pressure on women to nail down a man as quickly as possible, and there seems to be some equal societal pressure on men to sow their wild oats.
However, if you're looking for some commitment from a man who's unwilling to give it then it might be time to reexamine whether or not you want that commitment simply for the sake of having a "solid" relationship or if it's because you genuinely want to be with this person. And if you come to the realization that it's more the former than the latter, then you should probably wait on it and keep your options open.
If a man needs to be coaxed into committing to you then it's not necessarily because of you or his feelings about you, there are plenty of people in the world who fear or feel uncomfortable with commitment and that's okay. However, you need to know what side of the spectrum you're sitting on. If he doesn't want to commit because the idea of commitment makes him uncomfortable that's one thing, but if he specifically doesn't want to commit to you it's quite another. Even a commitment phobic person should want to commit to you in some way if they sincerely love you, so it's a bad sign for the relationship if they don't.
One of the biggest and most obvious problems with trying to force your man into a commitment that he doesn't want or isn't ready for yet is simply that the commitment that you're forcing probably isn't going to be all that you'd hope it would be. Someone can say that they're committed to you and the relationship, but if that's not something they actively want then you might just be getting lip service without the genuine feeling that you want behind it. Every relationship moves at it's own pace and just because someone doesn't want to commit now that doesn't mean they won't want that ever, but you can't just make it happen if it's not something you both want.