Sometimes, we women don’t like to think about our faults, and we certainly don’t like to have them pointed out by men. But just because we don’t want to hear about them, doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Normally, we’re told not to care what anybody thinks about us – that only our opinions about ourselves matter. But when some of our imperfect personality traits are affecting other people we care about in a negative manner, it’s time to reexamine ourselves under a bright light.
Women all over the world have different personality traits that vary from country to country, but there are some distinguishing ones that stand out in particular when it comes to women in the United States, and they’re not very flattering at all. Like if they’re too into their looks, lack respect for others and/or their partner, or even if they're just utter gossipers. These are troubling personality traits that tend to shy men off and make them run at full speed into the other direction.
Some of these particular traits apply to men as well (like we’d let you get off the hook that easily, dudes) and can make or break a romantic relationship.
Here are 17 personality traits that are extremely off-putting to men in the good ol’ U.S.A.
We all have a tinge of narcissism in all of us, but some have it even more than most people. Sure, there are those of us who can’t help but glance at our reflection in a window we happen to pass by to make sure our hair is still in place. But what about the women who literally gaze into everything with a reflection without looking away? The ones who gaze at their own hand movements while they’re talking? Those narcissistic women who are more concerned about their looks rather than their personalities? Those are the type of women that men having a tough time getting along. Sure, they’re probably stunning women, but apparently, they were never told that looks fade so they should stop spending so much time fretting over their reflection.
16 If She’s A Gossiper
Trust us, this is something that bothers women too. When someone is a deniable gossip, it’s just downright annoying. Sure, we all have gossiped about some interesting tidbits from time to time when we’re hanging out with our friends, but what I’m referring to is the women who literally go out of their way in a dramatic fashion and can’t keep information to themselves for the sake of adding on to drama. Men HATE that. If a woman is a gossip, trust issues can arise within a relationship, and if that’s a case, men will tend to avoid gossiping women at all costs. However, I should be quick to point out that men can be insufferable gossips too – it’s not just women who enjoy adding fuel to a drama fire.
15 Flirting With Everyone And Their Dog
Men seem to have no issue when they’re single and happen to come across a flirty girl, but as soon as they’re in a relationship, they just assume that the woman they’re with will simply shut down the flirting (as if it was an “on and off” switch). Thing is, some women can’t. It’s just not in their DNA and sometimes they don’t even know they’re doing it half the time. Men are drawn to flirts in the first place because they know how to utilize their charms and are able to make men feel good about themselves. But when it comes to serial flirters, men tend to get turned off because they no longer feel special themselves, but just one of a dozen of men a serial flirt happens to be working.
14 Coming On Too Strong (Being A Desperado)
Strong women are attractive women, period. If a woman knows what she wants in a man and actually finds it, she’ll go after him – plain and simple. However, there are some men who tend to be put off by this and will feel that if a girl is coming on too strong, that must mean she’s desperate. This is not the case for all strong woman, but if a woman already has your future kids' names picked out and ANNOUNCES it on the first date, she’s coming on too strong in a desperate way. First dates are meant for getting to know each other, not setting your wedding date. All that does is put a ton of pressure on the man in question and it’s almost guaranteed he will buckle under it.
13 The Fact She Dislikes Other Girls
This line is a massive red flag: “I’ve always been closer to men than women – they just don’t like me.” When women say this, it just mostly is a projection of her own feelings – she doesn’t really like or get along with other girls on an intentional level. Women shouldn’t tear other women down, no matter what. We have to constantly fight men for equality, so when we fight with each other, it just makes the world a darker place. We all tend to know women who do this, and heck, maybe we were even these women at one point – until we grew up and realized that fellow women are allies. Good men don’t like seeing women tearing down other women, so they’ll tend to stay far away from the “women just don’t like me” type of girl.
12 Purposefully Lowering Their IQ Or Acting Like A Damsel In Distress To Gain Attention
When women tend to act like a bimbo or dumber than they really are in order to gain a little male attention, usually she’ll only succeed in attracting the attention of shallow men. Fact of the matter is, men love and are attracted to smart, able-minded women more so than the damsel in distress, who mainly just cries wolf in order to turn heads. Sure, there are some instances where the need to be rescued is genuine, but stooping to “act” differently or helpless can be cause for alarm. These types of women tend to do this so men can feel like, well, men, and they couldn’t be further from the truth. Strong men will see right through this entire song and dance and avoid it completely by staying away from this type of girl.
This has been a running gag for years, that women are indecisive when it comes to picking out something easy like where she wants to have dinner. Heck, social media is filled with memes and gifs joking about this very thing (the best one is probably that Notebook one with Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams arguing about “what do you want!” in the rain). But in real life, indecisiveness in a woman can be a real pain (same goes for you dudes too). And I’m not just referring to where she wants to have lunch. If a woman is constantly indecisive about small things, it means when water starts to get hot, she’ll be even more indecisive when it comes to the big things – and that’s never good in a relationship.
10 Cruelty To Animals And Children
This one goes for both men AND women. This is a horrible personality trait (and also the personality trait of most serial killers, hello) and probably the biggest red flag of all time. Sure, perhaps there is something in their past that constitutes a reason to be put off by animals and/or children that’s reasonable (bit by a dog? Scratched in the eye by a cat? Hit with a bat by your next door neighbor’s five-year-old son?) but if they’re cruel for absolutely no apparent reason, it’s undesirable and alarming. And it’s even more alarming for someone in a relationship who is actually tolerant of this behavior – they’re just complacent and that’s dangerous. It’s a personality trait that not desirable in any human being and cringed at all over the world (not just in the US).
Again, this is something that is undesirable in both men and women and can often be mistaken for confidence. Sure, some people believe that you have to be at least a little bit arrogant about your own self-worth or skill set in order to thrive in this world, but there happens to be a line drawn in the sand that can be completely mowed over if someone is too arrogant. It’s unattractive on both sides. Usually, someone who is incredibly smart, talented, and/or attractive physically, they also tend to practice modesty because that is what keeps people grounded. Otherwise, you just sound completely full of yourself when you’re constantly complimenting yourself all the time. It drives people crazy and makes others not want to engage, let alone be in a relationship, with someone who is arrogant beyond all comprehension.
8 If She’s Too Close-Minded About Issues
We tend to see a lot of this these days – people walking around thinking their way is the ONLY way of thinking (don’t even get me started on this regarding politics). Sadly enough, it’s become a very visible way of life for some people. When a woman is completely close-minded, she’s not really open to learning anything new. It’s her way or the highway with every conversation she starts, making it entirely one-sided. What makes someone interesting is if they’re constantly learning and growing in their relationships (or in life in general), and if one partner in the relationship isn’t open to doing that, it gets old real fast. It’s not the most attractive thing when a woman only preaches her point-of-view rather than attempt to look at it from the perspective of her partner. You might as well be arguing with a brick wall, in that case.
7 Being Unreliable Is A Complete Downer
No one and, I repeat, NO ONE likes someone who is unreliable. We, women, tend to complain a bit about the unreliability of a man, but we don’t often look at it within ourselves. Being flaky isn’t an attractive quality. You want to be in a relationship where you can trust the other person and are able to rely on them in times of need. If a person is constantly making promises and then backing out at the last minute, they’ll quickly find themselves out of a relationship. A relationship is built on trust, and your partner has to trust you to be there when you say/promise. Even when it comes to being unreliable with small things and/or tasks, it just goes to show that if she’s flakey there, she’ll be flakey when it comes to the big things. No one likes a flake. Period.
6 Just Plain Rude To Those She Believes Are “Below” Her
Growing up with family members who lived in the South, I saw this a bit: when someone believes that they’re “better” than someone just based on their profession. It’s unattractive in any gender, not just women. For example, my grandmother was raised in a family who was considered rich by all standards, and because of that money, she assumed that she was better than someone who worked two jobs to support a growing family. I commonly saw her belittle restaurant servers, managers, call-support people, etc. It’s just plain rude when someone belittles another person because somewhere along the line, they were taught that ranks exist. It’s an appalling and deeply unattractive personality trait, especially when it comes to women attempting to break down another woman who she thinks is “beneath” her.
5 When She’s Short-Tempered About Tiny Things
Being short-tempered just isn’t an unattractive quality in women, but also in men too. Yet, for some reason, it’s more frowned upon when it comes to women. Why? Is being quick to anger a common trait in men and when it comes to a woman with a short-temper, it’s more disturbing? This probably has something to do with the fact that some time ago, a bunch of men were in a room together and collectively assumed that women were the “fairer” gender, so things like a short-fused temper are deemed unattractive in a woman. Truth be told, it’s unattractive all over the board for everyone. No one wants to see a parent freak out at their kid’s little league game over a ball that should have been a strike.
4 No One Likes A Hypocrite
Hypocriticalness seems to be running rapidly these days. While it’s a completely undesirable personality trait in a partner, it can often be overlooked when someone is clouded with emotion. But trust me – even if it’s swept under the carpet during the beginning of a new relationship, it will eventually come to light later down the line and usually by that time, both parties are already heavily invested in the relationship. We see it enough in politics these days, we don’t want to have to deal with hypocrites in our important relationships. It’s disparaging when someone says one thing and then does another. Or condemns something and then turns around and does it themselves. Men can’t STAND this trait in women (it's not attractive in you men either).
3 If She’s Inconsiderate To Everyone Else’s Feelings But Her Own
I actually had a few girlfriends like this growing up – where only their feelings mattered in any given situation and tended to turn a blind eye to everyone else’s feelings. For some of the girls, it was actually a genetic mental disorder (a side effect of bipolar disorder or depression) but for others, she just was genuinely selfish and didn’t care about anyone else’s needs but her own. Men can sense that right away and tend to stay away from women with this specific personality trait. It just means that if he was in a relationship with her, she would constantly put her own feelings ahead of his all the time. It’s not a quid-pro-quo relationship if one persona believes their voice only matters while their partner’s voice is being muffled.
2 Being Way Too Clingy
We’ve all had that friend: whenever she gets a boyfriend, her entire world melts and he becomes the only thing that matters. She ditches her friends and family to focus solely on him and him alone. While sometimes this makes a guy feel special at first, it gets old after a short while and he starts to feel smothered. She loses her entire identity even though he never asked it of her or demanded it (if he did, he’s in the wrong and a woman should head for the hills). It’s like she’s slowly molding herself into him in an attempt to show her love. What’s even worse is if the girl in question throws a fit when HE tries to spend some time alone or with his friends. He will end up growing to resent her rather than love her.
1 Lacking Originality
With this one, I’m talking about those certain girls who tend to pick up personal traits of her friends and/or boyfriends rather than figuring out who SHE actually is. This is the girl who likes her eggs cooked exactly like her boyfriend, reads the exact same stuff, watches the exact same TV shows. Sure, there are some things you share with your partner that are similar (it’s what attracted you to each other in the first place) but if a woman does this with EVERYTHING in her partner’s life, it means she has basically no original thoughts and will just adopt his. Sure, this can make a man feel special for a short period of time, but like everything else on this list, it gets old real fast.