Long distance relationships can be both a blessing and a curse. While being apart from your partner so much of the time can be lonely and sometimes difficult, it can also help you appreciate your loved one and allow you to learn better communication skills. While absence doesn’t always make the heart grow fonder, there are definitely many people who make long distance relationships work, so don’t buy into the idea that it won’t work out. However, long distance does bring about different challenges and obstacles than when your partner lives near you.
If you’re in a long distance relationship, these ten things will help you make that relationship work and last for a long time.
10 MAKE SURE YOU'RE ON THE SAME PAGE WITH WHAT YOU WANT
With any relationship, knowing what you want from the relationship is important. It’s essential to ensure you're on the same page. If your partner has marriage and kids in sight, while you just want to date, this could lead to miscommunications and major problems down the line. Especially when it comes to long distance relationships, you need to make sure you both have the same endgame in sight. It’s important that you both know if you plan to move closer to each other someday or not, for example.
9 SCHEDULE TIME TO TALK
With long distance relationships, making time for each other in your busy schedules can be essential. With all the other responsibilities you both have such as work, friends, hobbies, and family, you need to make sure you take time to connect, especially by talking on the phone or facetiming.
For some people, scheduling a time every week or so to talk helps set aside that night as a sort of date night. Just figure out what works for the two of you.
8 RESPECT BOUNDARIES AND THAT YOUR PARTNER HAS THEIR OWN LIFE
Long distance can sometimes lead to a lot of insecurities and fears. You won’t be around your partner as much, so you’ll likely not know as much or see as much about their daily life. While it can be easy to feel mistrustful or jealous, it’s important that you respect each other’s boundaries. You will both have your own lives, especially social lives, and it’s important to allow that to happen. Having friendships and a social life outside of each other is healthy.
7 REMEMBER THAT WHILE TECHNOLOGY IS GREAT, THERE ARE OTHER WAYS TO SHOW LOVE
Modern technology is definitely a boon for long-distance relationships. Phones allow you to keep in contact more frequently with your partner. Texting, facetiming, and more are great ways to stay connected and keep up on each other’s daily lives. However, there are other things that are important, too.
Sending gifts or letters can feel extra special. You can also do little things like keep pictures of each other around or have a shirt of theirs that you can hold or wear.
6 DON’T PUT TOO MUCH STRESS OR SCHEDULING ON THE TIME YOU DO HAVE TOGETHER
When you do finally get to see your boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever they are to you in person, it can be a pretty big deal, especially if you live really far important and can’t visit often. There can be a lot of pressure and stress to do all these things together and have the time go perfectly. This can be counterintuitive. Often, it’s best to leave some downtime and just let things go naturally. Also, try not to have too high of expectations and things are likely to go better.
5 DON’T FORGET TO FOCUS ON THE OTHER THINGS IN YOUR LIFE, TOO
While your romantic relationship is definitely important, and might be a central relationship in your life, you shouldn’t put everything else in your life on hold. Maybe it’s tempting to put things off to try and wait for the time where the two of you can be together, but it’s important that you focus on other things in your life, too.
Your social life, friends, career, and whatever else matters to you shouldn’t go away just because you’re dating someone long distance.
4 SEE THE POSITIVES IN THE SITUATION
While long distance relationships might often be looked at as a negative, you can reframe that assumption. All relationships have their positives and sometimes their negatives, no matter how close you live to one another. Long distance allows you to learn how to communicate well and helps you appreciate one each other more, which are definitely pluses. Also, a long distance relationship can be a great way to have a thriving, dynamic life outside of your partner which is great if you’re someone who loves their independence.
3 RESIST THE NEED TO CHECK UP ON YOUR PARTNER ALL THE TIME
Talking to your partner is great, and, depending on your specific relationship, you might chat frequently throughout the day over text. However, there can sometimes be a pull to constantly check up on your partner and make sure they are still invested in the relationship. Jealousy can crop up easily since the distance can make your imagination go wild.
While it’s important to talk about these feelings with your partner, try to resist the temptation to continually check up on them as this can drive a wedge between you.
2 TRUST IS ESSENTIAL
Just like with any relationship, trust is one of the key things. If you can’t trust your partner and they’ve shown to not be trustworthy, they aren’t really worth continued investment. However, if they haven’t given you any real reason not to trust them, letting go a little and trusting them to stay faithful and care about you is a must. That trust should also go both ways, and they should trust you, too.
1 SET SOME RULES AND EXPECTATIONS
Probably one of the best ways to make sure a relationship lasts is to set up rules, boundaries, and expectations. You want to know where the other person is at and what they want from the relationship, and they should know the same about you. For long distance relationships, setting expectations about how often visits should happen, how often phone calls should occur, and other matters like those is essential.
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Also, you both should feel safe to set boundaries and have those boundaries respected.