Is He Crushing On Another Girl? Do These 15 Things To Lock Him Down

in Dating
Is He Crushing On Another Girl? Do These 15 Things To Lock Him Down

So you’ve finally figured out that you like that guy? Congratulations, and we sincerely hope it all works out for you. That being said, there’s a lot more involved in getting into a relationship with the guy of your dreams than just deciding you like him and letting him know. Sometimes timing can get in the way, and if your guy seems like he’s into someone else, it might spell the end for your own chances with him. That being said, the guy of your dreams having feelings for someone else doesn’t have to be the end of all of your hopes. In fact, getting him to like you more than that other girl is actually pretty easy.

There’s no foolproof way to get a guy to like you and many women are constantly looking for that magic bullet solution to their situation for whatever reason. That being said, there are some things that you can do that will not only increase your chances of getting the guy of your dreams to like you but will also show the world just what a great catch you are. Some things will involve your attitude and things only you can control, while other things will involve psychological tricks that are proven effective by science. Here are fifteen things that you can do to make sure he picks you over the other girl.

15. First, Don’t Get Desperate

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Okay, before you do anything, you need to stop panicking. So he might have a crush on someone else? Big deal. You’re awesome, and if he can’t see that because he’s too busy looking at the other girl, he needs to get himself a grip. This is why you need to get a grip and not do anything insane. Doing something insane is just going to ruin your chances far more than him liking another girl would. Take a deep breath and understand that the next few things you do are crucial. Desperation looks good on no one, and you’re honestly too cute to be desperate for some guy anyway.

14. Get To Know Him On A Deeper Level Than The Other Girl

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This doesn’t have to be a competition between you and the other girl, which is something I should say right away because things can get catty and that’s never a good look. However, it’s important to keep that in mind if you know that your guy is talking to another girl. Don’t get yourself all worked up about it or blatantly tell the guy you’re trying to look better than the other girl because that’s desperation. What you actually should do is show the guy that you’re more compatible with him through your actions. Listen to him when he talks and remembers what he says about the things that are important to him. Basically, if you’d be impressed if a guy did it, do it in this case, at least within reason.

13. Associate Yourself With Something He Likes

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The easiest way to get to know a guy is by going through the things he likes. Do you two have common interests? Capitalize on those by letting him know that you’re in the same field he is, or have the same hobbies he does. When you guys hang out, try and do those things together and see what the two of you can teach each other. If you two don’t have the same hobbies, try associating yourself with something else he likes, or even better, show that you’re willing to learn about the things he likes. A disclaimer, though: don’t do this if you don’t have a genuine interest in the activity because he will notice your disingenuousness and things will go down from there.

12. Use The Power Of Mirroring

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Mirroring isn’t a weird magic trick, although it might be tricky to try and harness its power. Mirroring is a psychological tactic that helps the people around you open up to you. Basically, whatever body language you see your guy exhibiting, try and copy it when you can. For example, when he has open body language, like good eye contact and arms that aren’t crossed, copy that. More importantly, just make sure your body language is open to him at all times. We don’t realize that we’re taking body language into account, but subconsciously, we’re making a pretty big deal of it. It actually informs our decisions about who we should talk to without us even realizing it.

11. When You Go Out Together, Don’t Leave Him With The Bill

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Let’s be real, the rules as to who pays for what on a date can change with every guy and with every relationship and it can be really hard to keep track. That being said, as a rule, you should at least offer to pay for at least your share on the first date. A lot of guys will shoot this down and pay for both you and himself because of the traditional dating rules, but I can promise you that even if the guy doesn’t take you up on it, he’s going to really appreciate you offering. If he’s talking to both you and the girl who didn’t offer to cover the bill, it could very well be this action that gives you the edge.

10. Don’t Play Hard To Get, But Let Him Chase You

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This is one of those delicate balancing acts that might even devolve into weird mind games. However, if you master this skill, you will be able to simultaneously show that you’re interested while giving the guy the chase that guys all want deep down. As much as playing hard to get can annoy guys because they do not read minds, have never been able to do so, and can’t see what we’re thinking, desperation is also not good and probably worse for showing you as a viable candidate for this guy’s girlfriend. Basically, don’t make him have to track you down and keep yourself available, but don’t make getting this guy your whole life. That’s how he will see that you are interested in him, but not obsessed with him.

9. Show That You’re A More Upstanding Person Than The Other Girl

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Again, a disclaimer: do not tell your guy that you’re a moral, upstanding person because that just comes off as strange and weird. Rather, show this through your actions. Show off your kind side when you’re around him. Make it a point to ask people about their day and actually care about their answers when you’re around him. Also, make sure you show (not tell!) your classy side. Let him know that you’re not a girl to be messed around with by your actions. Don’t get messy drunk around him or sloppy around him because that’s a great way to ruin whatever impression he had of you. Some guys don’t care about this, but a lot of quality guys certainly do, which is why they can get kind of scared off of your average party girl. Basically, be your classy self and let loose once you know you have him.

8. Figure Out Where The Void Is In His Life…Then Fill That Void

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This can border a little on emotional manipulation if you do this on purpose by changing your personality to do it, but there are a ton of fictional tropes about this for a reason, so we need to mention it. This is actually what your real-life manic pixie dream girls do to land their guys, at least the self-aware ones. Full disclosure here: my natural personality is not unlike your average manic pixie dream girl, and once I learned what the fictional trope was, I could see how my exes slotted me into their lives: by replacing the void they felt in their lives with me. This would inform all of their compliments to me and how they treated me for the duration of the relationship. I’m sure a lot of women have had the same experience, and the more you get to know your guy, the more you might figure out where you fit in.

7. Remember To Remain Authentic To Who You Are And He Will Value That

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Most importantly, be yourself. Yes, this is kind of cliche advice and it’s honestly not something you might want to hear right now, but it’s true. Let’s be real here: you are never going to be able to sustain whatever fake personality you want to put on to make your guy like you. You can put on whatever facade you want to make him yours, and when he is your boyfriend, that facade will inevitably crack and honestly, he’ll feel a little deceived or lied to. If he doesn’t like who you are as a person genuinely and/or actually asks you to change, you might need to rethink whether this is the guy for you. Wherever you are, you are awesome, and if he can’t see that, he doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.

6. Associate Yourself With The Color Red

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When you go on dates with this guy, incorporate red into your ensemble. This might sound weird, but even science will back me up on this one. Multiple scientific studies on the nature of attraction and relationships have proven that someone is seen as instantly more attractive if they’re wearing red. Red is associated with passion, love, lust, power, and more, so it’s a great color to have in your wardrobe, to begin with. It’s often why people want red cars, too. If you’re worried that red doesn’t look good on you, I can assure you that there is a shade of red out there for everyone. This is kind of an old-school trick, but find your complexion’s season and go off of that to find the perfect shade of red for you.

5. Don’t Get Possessive!

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The last thing you should be doing is getting possessive. Let me say this now: you might like this guy and have the biggest crush on him in the world, but he is not your boyfriend and if you get possessive, at least in a way that isn’t playful, you will ruin any shot in the world you have with him. Even playful possession can turn some guys off, so tread carefully with that one. Even if he does become your boyfriend, he’s not yours as a person and you shouldn’t treat him like he belongs to you. A lot of women end up falling headfirst into this trap and showing guys their crazy side and freaking them out, so don’t do that. Let him do what he wants and if it’s meant to be, he’ll come to you.

4. Listen To Understand, Not Just To Answer

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Now that you’re feeling empowered and pretty, it’s time to get to know your guy on a deeper level. This means that you need to improve your listening skills a bit. There’s a difference bee listening to answer and listen to understand. When you listen to him talk, you shouldn’t just be waiting for your own turn to speak, you should honestly be going out of your way to remember what he’s saying to you. After all, you like this guy, right? Act like it. This is honestly what you should be doing with everyone, not just guys you like, by the way. Learning how to listen effectively is imperative to building great relationships.

3. Don’t Slack On Your Appearance

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Now that you’re calm and not doing anything crazy, you need to take care of yourself. This isn’t just because you want this guy to like you, this is honestly because you need to see yourself as the awesome woman you are. After all, if you can’t see it, how will he see it? Take some time to invest in your personal appearance and it’ll honestly go a long way. Wear some lipstick if you want or spruce up your wardrobe, whatever you want to do that makes you feel pretty. A disclaimer, however: this is by no means an invitation to go and alter your appearance drastically, especially not to get this guy to like you. The only reason you should change something major is if you want to for yourself.

2. Be Confident, But Not Cocky

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For those of us who might not be as evolved to see it: there really is a difference between being confident and being cocky, and the line is blurred and moves depending on who you talk to. You might not know what your guy thinks about confidence and cockiness, but as a rule of thumb, here are a few rules you should abide by. It’s okay to show the world how awesome you are, but it’s not okay to tell the world how awesome you are. That might sound weird, but it’s not. This basically means that you should allow your actions and personality to get the message across that you’re great instead of telling everyone you’re great. Actions definitely speak louder than words in this respect.

1. Don’t Be Afraid To Smile

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Seriously, crack a smile every once in awhile! Honestly, smiles are the easiest way to a guy’s heart. As much as it annoys us when a guy tells us to smile for no reason, they do it because they genuinely like to see women smiling. Smiles are some of the most open kind of body language you can get, especially if they’re genuine. Also, when you smile, it invites others to smile along with you, and what can be better than that? That being said, if you’re a guy reading this, don’t tell women to smile because that’s annoying, Rather, give us reasons to smile and don’t harass us to when we don’t want to.

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