What Matters Most To You In A Relationship (Based on Your MBTI®)

Meeting new people can be a wonderful and exhilarating experience. And when those first meetings lead to sparks which result in both parties wondering where things could lead from there, those feelings of excitement and anticipation can quickly be replaced by worry and anxiety if left unchecked. For the overthinkers and introspective people of the world, the promise of a new relationship can be a stressful event.

What if both parties end up not being right for each other? Is it a good idea to invest so much time and emotion into something that may fizzle out before it even truly starts? In order to eradicate some of those fears, we've analyzed several of the personality types under the MBTI® typing system in order to narrow down exactly what those types require/seek in a relationship. This will (pseudo)-scientifically answer the question of whether or not two strangers have enough in common to risk the possibility of heartache in favor of love.

RELATED: 8 Signs Someone Wants Out Of A Relationship (According to Their MBTI®)

10 ISTJ: Honouring Traditions

Those that fit under the ISTJ umbrella believe that old-fashioned values and long-held traditions are some of the more important things in life and seek to uphold them.


Which means that, in a relationship, the people who fall under the ISTJ type will favor a more traditional trajectory. White picket fence, career, marriage, and children. In that order. If seeking to enter into a relationship with someone who is so set on a traditional lifestyle, it is important to ask whether or not those things will bring both parties joy.

9 ENFJ: Visualizing A Future Together

The ENFJ types love to spend their days imagining what could be. ENFJ types love picturing their ideal futures and indulging in every fantasy that crosses through their minds. In a romantic relationship, the people who fall under the ENFJ umbrella will start planning a future for them and their partner very early on in the relationship. This is what makes them feel secure in their partnership. Do not let this come off as intimidating, for the ENFJ might not even be consciously considering such things but rather just exploring life's infinite possibilities within their mind or aloud with the partner in question.

8 ESFJ: Quality Time

The people who fall under the ESFJ type are very social people and seek to spend their limited time on this planet with the ones that they love. This means that quality time is exceptionally important to the ESFJ partner in a relationship.


If adequate amounts of quality time are not provided, the ESFJ partner may tend to feel unappreciated or left behind. Make sure to schedule an abundant amount of one on one quality time with the ESFJ partner in order to satisfy their social needs.

7 INFP: Alone Time

Those who fall under the INFP type spend a large portion of their lives daydreaming, introspecting, and observing the world around them. Since these activities flourish in a quiet environment, INFP types love their alone time. That does not mean that they are averse to quality time. In fact, the two can occur at the same time. If both parties are quietly engaged in solo activities side by side (e.g. one partner may be reading and the other painting,) then this need for alone time can be satisfied while together. If alone time is not respected, the INFP can feel smothered.

6 INTP: Deep Conversations

Those falling under the INTP type are known for their love for deep intellectual connections. The INTP types love dissecting puzzles and arguments in a safe and unbiased environment.


In romantic relationships, the INTP partner will seek to engage in complex, abstract, and in-depth discussion with their partner. Their favorite aspect of a relationship will be having another party to discuss these ideas with in order to engage with aspects of the topic that they had never considered beforehand. These discussions will foster a deep trust in and understanding of each other.

5 ISFJ: Volunteering Together

The ISFJ types are known for their neverending generosity and dedication to making the world a better place. They are known for putting everyone else's needs in front of their own (often neglecting their own in the process.) In a romantic relationship, the ISFJ will seek someone who can help them in their mission to saving humanity. They will see their partner as an extra set of hands for when theirs fail and will want to spend their designated quality time volunteering and raising money for charity. In fact, they might be hesitant to enter into a relationship at all because doing so could take away from their cause.

4 ISFP: Sharing New Experiences

For the ISFP, the most important thing in the entire world is the act of filling up one's days with new experiences. The people who fall under this typing seek novelty and unique experiences out of their lives. They believe that we only get one life so living the same day twice is a waste of a precious day.


In romantic relationships, the ISFP will see their partner as a true partner in crime that will accompany them on their adventures. They will also want to ensure that their partner is someone who can reflect on those experiences and see the lessons within them.

3 ENTJ: A Healthy Power Balance

The ENTJ's prefer to see life through a rational lens and will be all too aware of the downsides of a relationship before even preparing for the first date. They approach life through a logical perspective and often assume leadership roles in partnerships because they believe that their ability to disconnect from emotion gives them that unbiased edge needed to lead. In relationships, these types will seek a healthy power balance between partners as well as prioritizing communication and other common romantic pitfalls. They believe that this preparation will allow them to navigate conflict from a practical viewpoint and the ability of each partner to voice their concerns and needs without hesitation is crucial to a healthy partnership.

2 ESTP: Freedom

Those falling under the ESTP umbrella are known for their need for freedom and lack of regard for consequences. The ESTP is what may be colloquially referred to as the "look before they leap" type of person.


In romantic relationships, the ESTP partner will need to feel in control and free at all times. Any threat to their feelings of freedom can cause them to bolt without warning out of fears of becoming stuck. The ESTP types may not even seek romantic commitment-orientated relationships at all due to these concerns.

1 ENFP: An Unorthodox Relationship

Those who fall under the ENFP umbrella are likely to seek unorthodox relationships. ENFP types crave uniqueness from their lives and have an intrinsic dislike for all things traditional. They will be hesitant to partake in anything that seems cliche or overdone (e.g. dinner dates on Valentines Day or sharing a kiss on New Year's Eve.) In relationships, the ENFP partner will seek new and creative dates that are sure to keep any partner on their toes. Though it is important to note that they are not averse to marriage and/or children. They just need to feel like they are doing it of their own volition and in their own way; rather than it simply being expected of them.


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