There’s only so much we can do when it comes to relationship drama—especially when it’s our relationship that’s causing all the drama in our lives!
Sure, we can talk to our friends and our family. We can confide in a trusted few about the issues we’re having, then figure out solutions to combat what’s going on. But what about when the only drama seems to be coming in with those little bell notifications?
Texting drama is a real thing, and it’s arguably more annoying than face-to-face issues. At least with a face to face argument, we can sit down, talk it out, and figure out what’s going on.
When it comes to texting, though, it’s a whole different ballgame. But texting is an essential part of almost every contemporary relationship. Many relationships start through texting, either after meeting a mutual friend or through a dating app. However the relationship started, no one is immune to the effects of bad texting.
We went through and we figured out how bad is too bad when it comes to texting. We’ve realized it’s a pretty safe bet that the relationship should end if he starts texting us any (or all) of these 20 things.
20 Petty Complaints Make For Big Arguments
We knew we weren’t the only one who got riled up at the thought of petty complaints airing through text messages. Huffington Post is in agreement and lists this as one of the big texting red flags people tend to see when the relationship is near an end. It’s damaging, and we’re not just “being sensitive,” Chad!
Huffington Post asked one of their experts the proper way to deal with a complaint, and they said, “what I tell my clients is, if you are going to have any sort of serious conversations with your significant other, face-to-face is the only adult way to do it.” That way there’s no misinterpretation.
19 The Old 'Stop Acting Crazy' Claim
Oh man, how annoying is this one, right? This is another one of those damaging texts that Huffington Post lists. Their expert explains, “while something like ‘You’re cray cray’ could be texted with the intent of being funny or as a defensive reaction to something your spouse said, the message is probably not going to be received well.”
And it’s true! Nobody wants to be told that they’re “crazy,” and it can be really hurtful to open up to a partner just to have them dismiss us and our emotions. If he’s sending us this message, it’s time to consider ending the relationship.
18 Vague Answers Without Follow Up Questions
There are a few reasons as to why this one might be happening, but some might indeed be a sign it’s time to end things. Vague answers without follow-up might mean a partner is busy but still wants to talk to us. It might also mean they’re not interested in the topic of conversation, but are invested in other topics.
Elite Daily mentions that it could just mean they’re not that interested in us. It’s hurtful, but it does happen—sometimes when we’re already invested in a relationship with a person! While we wouldn’t recommend ending things ASAP, we would recommend considering it if a face to face conversation doesn’t clear things up.
17 Work Or School Are His Primary Conversation Topics
This one hurts a little, but it needs to be said. If work and school are his primary conversation topics, the relationship isn’t as deep and meaningful as we might think it is. While this concern comes up more in a friends with benefits or casual dating situation, it’s not unheard of for a full-blown relationship either.
Paired Life lists this kind of text as one that plants us firmly in that much-contested ‘friend zone’ area. We’re not necessarily a fan of the term, but it is useful to denote who seems to be thinking of us as relationship material versus who seems happy to just have a friend to talk to.
16 He Asks For Advice About Another Girl
It feels so obvious when we think about it, but sometimes it’s hard to see the signs even if they’re right in front of us. Paired Life mentions that this is a huge red flag for anyone, including both those who are in a relationship and those who are in the “hey I kind of like you” phase.
Asking for advice or details about a friend, coworker, or even sister can be a painful moment when we realize that he’s probably asking due to interest. Luckily, it’s a clear sign that it’s time to end things before anyone gets even more hurt!
15 His Text Messages Mostly Come Between Midnight And Three AM
This is more of an annoying one than it is a huge red flag, but it’s still worth mentioning. We’re not the biggest fan of the people who do this, and (big surprise) it often happens to be the guys that we’re interested in and have an established texting relationship with.
Nearly every article we read mentioned this one as well, which is a texting habit that really only means one thing. “You up?” isn’t usually sent because he just wants to talk. If you’re into that, that’s totally cool! Go for it, and don’t take this as a red flag. If you’re not, though, it’s time to set the record straight before things go further.
14 He’s Only Ever Asking For Favors
This is a red flag in the world of both friendships and partnerships. It’s a sign that we might be dealing with someone who’s either a little selfish or just expects to be helped. There are some people in the world who ask for favors and don’t intend to return them.
Vixen Daily mentions this fact. They say that if he’s eager to ask you for favors or a helping hand but all of a sudden disappears when you need a little help, he doesn’t really respect the nature of your relationship. If a partner starts to do this we recommend bringing it up ASAP.
13 Anything Dismissive Is A Huge Red Flag For The Future
We didn’t even realize this was a red flag, to be perfectly honest. How many of us have found ourselves in a relationship where we’re often being dismissed or unheard? Huffington Post mentions that, actually, that’s not normal.
If a partner is dismissive over text, either through ignoring our questions or answering with one or two words, something needs to change—even if that something is the end of the relationship! Dismissing someone is disrespectful, and it might show that your guy isn’t as attentive as he once was. Not to mention the fact that it’s just plain annoying as well!
12 Only Inviting Us To Group Hang Outs
This point comes to us from Verily Magazine, though we’ve seen it in other places as well. Generally, group hangouts are lots of fun, especially if we get to see both our friends and our partner at the same time. However, sometimes it can be too much.
If he’s only ever inviting us to group hangouts it might be time to discuss both of our expectations. If he doesn’t see this as a dating relationship and you do, then you’re better off ending it before feelings get hurt. That being said, if both of you are happy just being friends, this point isn’t necessarily a problem.
11 He Keeps Things Serious
Texting is supposed to be a fun thing, right? It’s a thing that makes us happy, and a cute text message can lighten our mood in the middle of a bad day. This is why we had to include this point in the discussion, as serious texting can send just as many signs as non-serious texting.
If he tends to keep things serious and doesn’t get when you’re joking or teasing, it could mean that he’s thinking of your communication as more of a to-do list check or a business requirement. Both crushes and full-fledged partners can suddenly turn serious, so be sure to check in if there’s something going on before ending it.
10 Passive Aggressive Comments About Something We Did
We don’t do passive aggression, and anyone who does seriously should reconsider it, as the effect it has on friends and partners isn’t great. Passive aggression over text is actually really common since texting is so devoid of emotional context. And while Paired Life is clear that this is one of those texting habits that say he’s totally not interested, we believe that it can also manifest between a couple.
If he’s suddenly bringing up old arguments and sending you passive aggressive things, it’s a sign that there might be some deep, deep unhappiness going on. Talk to him about it, sure, but also feel empowered to cut that toxic attitude out!
9 He Calls Us Weird For Flirting
Call us crazy, but we love the power of sending a flirty text message. There’s nothing more satisfying than sending your partner a flirtatious message in the middle of the day knowing it will make them smile. After all, we love receiving them too!
Paired Life points out that if he isn’t receptive to the flirting (or if he’s asking why we’re acting “weird”) he’s probably not as into it as we are. This can be disappointing, but it isn’t the end of the world. We might recommend moving on to someone who’s more in line with your romantic expression if the relationship is still in the dating phase, though.
8 Those Ellipses Come Up And Go Away Repeatedly
Waiting by the telephone might be a thing of the past, but staring at those little ellipses is still very, very present. The issue that we find when it comes to this texting habit is that it often results in a lack of communication. When it comes to a relationship, no communication is a bit of a death sentence.
Bolde puts it bluntly when they say, “he thought about replying but quickly changed his mind. He saw your message and he’s choosing to ignore it.” While he might just be figuring out how to phrase something, if those dots disappear for good, it might be time for you to do the same.
7 ‘You’re Just Like My Ex’ Is An Uh Oh!
Comparisons are only welcome in our life if they’re flattering. Yes, please compare us to Lady Gaga and J-Lo and all the other powerful women out there. Please, though, don’t compare us to an ex (or a mother).
Paired Life mentions this as one of those off-the-cuff phrases that could go either way, but we’re definitely not flattered by this kind of comparison. Being compared to an ex is kind of like saying “you remind me of this thing that I really liked at one point and now refuse to talk to.” It’s not flattering, and it’s also hard to know how to respond.
6 He Only Responds And Never Initiates
There’s nothing more annoying than putting a lot of time and effort into someone just to have them turn around and totally disregard it. And this is disregarding both your time and effort, as it’s totally non-reciprocal. Nothing says “I don’t care” like never being the person to start a conversation.
We might love talking to him, but if he doesn’t like talking to us, Bolde says that it’s time to let things go. At least one-sided relationships are easy to get out of; just stop initiating and see what happens. It’s not the happiest choice, but at least it’s keeping the one-sided effort out!
5 He Texts His Friends More Than Us
We love friends and love to keep in touch with them. Friends are important to have, and they’re relationships we can definitely understand wanting to maintain all the time. It’s natural to surround ourselves with friends. However, Paired Life says that if he’s texting his friends more than he texts us, it’s a sign we’ve slipped on his priority list.
He might not even be interested anymore, especially if this habit is paired with other ones on this list! Keep in mind this isn’t the most reliable sign, though. If a friend is going through a loss or a rough patch, it’s only natural to check in with them more than usual.
4 Emojis Actually Mean A Lot
Anyone who disses us for using emojis needs to read this point. Emojis are actually incredibly important for giving context to a comment or phrase that’s been said over text. Emojis help us denote something that’s a joke, or something that’s actually really difficult to talk about.
In fact, a few different articles pointed out that if he’s not using emojis, he might not be as invested as we are. While too many emojis can be a conversation turn off, no emojis are also a red flag. He’s probably not being playful with his text messaging if he’s skipping the emojis, meaning he might see it as a chore!
3 The Wall Of Text Is A Negative Note
Where do we even start with this one? The “Wall of Text” is a phrase that essentially means a long, multi-scroll text message that doesn’t have any paragraph breaks. While some people do like receiving them, Huffington Post points out that they’re often negative in nature.
People use walls of text to complain, moan, or lament over something happening. This isn’t a great way to treat a partner. Sure, we should all be willing to be there for our boyfriend, girlfriend, or significant other in a time of need. But if all we’re receiving are walls of text, we might actually be more of a therapist than a partner.
2 He Stops An Established Good Morning/Good Night Exchange
Getting a good morning and a good night text is the best feeling in the world. It means someone cares about us and is thinking about us when they get up and when they go to sleep. It takes 2 seconds, and the smile it gives us is priceless.
Elite Daily points out that if he stops giving us these good mornings and good nights after they’ve been established, it could be a sign that the relationship is shifting. It could also mean you two live together, at which point the good night and the good morning are said in person; nothing to worry about there!
1 Leaving Us On Read Repeatedly
Finally, we come to our biggest personal pet peeve. Huffington Post mentions that this is one of the most damaging things someone can do in a relationship when it comes to texting. If we ask a question over text, it’s natural to expect a response. If we send a text that’s meant to spark a conversation, we expect it to (eventually) spark a conversation.
Unfortunately, leaving us on read over and over again is a sign that he doesn’t want to engage. The conversation has been stopped, and it’s time to consider whether or not we want to stay in the midst of this rude and blatantly disrespectful relationship.
Sources: Paired Life, Huffington Post, Elite Daily, Bolde