Ladies! It's time to stop throwing on the blinders and waking up in denial each time our boyfriends do something that makes us think twice about the future. It's far easier said than done, this we know... But we also know that sometimes, there are just far too many signs that point to a hard and heavy 'no way' rather than a green light.
Guys are strange beings, and while their behavior can be confusing, it also doesn't take much to realize when they're looking for an out. It's hard to believe that some guys will remain in relationships for fear of upsetting their partner, but it's true. Sometimes, they're just waiting for us to catch on before they call it quits.
It sounds harsh, but recognizing the signs can actually lead to feelings of relief for both people involved. If a guy is looking for a way out of his relationship, then this will be acknowledged and he and his partner can begin to move on.
If he's not looking for a way out but is throwing off these signs anyway, then bringing it up can open up communication and lead to an honest conversation. Either way, if our boyfriends exhibit any of these, it's definitely time for 'the talk.'
20 The Smallest Thing Will Set Him Off
This is quite the obvious conundrum. It's pretty unusual for a guy to get annoyed at anything and everything (if anything, we're more likely to do that) and this could definitely be a warning sign. When your boyfriend begins to give a side of attitude with every conversation, from where the two of you are eating dinner to the simplest of questions such as 'what's wrong?', it's time to throw on the brakes.
There's a reason for that anger and frustration—and if there's seemingly no other reason for it, then it's likely that he's just not happy in the relationship. Those feelings could be stemming from fear or anxiety and it's best to talk it out.
19 Other Friends Begin To Enter The Picture
When we start to get a 'move aside' vibe, then that's our cue, usually, to actually move... to move on, that is. If a guy is turning to his closest friends before his girlfriend, it's a sign that something is undoubtedly wrong.
His partner doesn't need to be the main focus in his life, but in a serious relationship, she should be a shoulder to cry on as well as a safe space for him to express his thoughts. When this connection begins to fray and his friends become more prominent, it means that there's something keeping him from turning to the one he's supposed to feel comfortable with above everyone else.
18 Phone Calls And Texts Go Unanswered, Even Though He's Home
You know that he's at home because he was only at work until 5 PM and it's now 9 PM. It's your usual 'text chat' time on Thursdays but he's just... not responding. Text messages get left on 'read', phone calls are unanswered, FaceTimes are ignored. It's time to speak up or move on.
First off, a guy who ignores his girlfriend when she's reaching out isn't the kindest of souls, to begin with. Secondly, if this is sudden and new behavior, there's obviously something going on behind the scenes that is just not adding up in the big picture.
17 He's Just Not There, Even When He's Right Next To You
That blank expression and distant look that's described in poems isn't just fiction... It's an actual mood, and it happens quite often in relationships that are headed downhill. One of the worst things about being with someone who isn't necessarily 'there' is the fact that their partner will always blame themselves. In reality, it's no one's fault.
Sometimes, people just aren't happy in their current relationship and no one is to blame. Dealing with a partner who's absent and not present when it comes to spending time together isn't easy, but it is very telling. It's a cry for help without actually speaking.
16 If You're Upset, He Suddenly Forgets How To Be A Boyfriend
Unfortunately, some guys respond in different ways to their girlfriends needing attention. We don't mean attention in a high maintenance way, we mean it in the purest, 'I need you to be there for me' type of way—and that's okay. The problem is that if your boyfriend doesn't respond in the same way, well... there's something not quite right going on.
A boyfriend should want to be there and lend a comforting yet helping hand, not be on the defense and shy away from his girlfriend's needs. If he begins to shut down and becomes anti-social with you, that speaks for itself.
15 The Heat: He Intentionally Sets You Off During Arguments
Some guys take the offensive route rather than playing defense when it comes to skipping out on their relationships. Everyone is capable of self-sabotaging a relationship and it's not something that's just reserved for dramatic movie plots.
If a guy really doesn't want to be tied down anymore, he might intentionally start fights or say or do things that will make his partner angry or upset. It's a tactic that will effectively end the relationship without having to say he's just not happy or doesn't want to be partnered up anymore. It's a poor way to end things, but it does happen.
14 The Affection: No Hand-Holding, No Forehead Kisses, No Hugs
Refusing affection is something that often happens when someone just isn't feeling the love, quite literally. It can work both ways—either your partner will refuse to give affection, or he can refuse to accept it. Closeness is such a large part of relationships, whether they're in the beginning stages or in it for the long haul. The lack of it is noticeable and can throw excess tension on both partners involved, not just the one who's refusing or denying it.
Barring your significant other not feeling well or being in a low place emotionally, a lack of affection is usually a sign that they're not feeling it one way or another.
13 The Blow: He's Hesitant When Introducing You To People
Usually, boyfriends are so excited about introducing their new girlfriends to family and friends. By the time the relationship has been solidified, introductions should be second nature and most people will know who she is. A dramatic one-eighty in this situation, though, is definitely a sign that something is off.
A person doesn't just go from being uber excited to show off his new gal to suddenly being hesitant about introducing her to anyone. It could be that he's so hesitant of the commitment that he's shying away from further explanations when things don't work out, and that's definitely not okay.
12 Nights Out Slowly Begin To Fade Away
Some couples just don't enjoy going out every weekend and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. With rad food delivery services and nearly any movie or TV show at our disposal, is there really any reason to head out all the time? There's even an ice cream delivery, for goodness sake!
Aside from that, if you are the type of couple who was known for heading out as soon as the clock struck 8 PM and now you suddenly aren't, that might be a red flag. If a guy refuses to go out, makes up excuses, and begins avoiding all of your typical date nights, he's running from something... and we're pretty sure it's not the date night food.
11 Alternately, He's Cutting Nights In Super Short
Just as a guy will cut date nights out altogether, a homebody can do exactly the same thing. It's obviously unusual if your boyfriend decides to not come over on your usual Friday nights and even more unusual if he tries to get his girlfriend to avoid coming to his place.
If it happens once or twice then it's probably nothing, but cutting out significant time spent with his significant other can definitely mean that he's looking to throw in some distance. You can opt to give him the space he needs or you can opt to bring up the issue and try to figure out what's going on.
10 He Stops Coming Over And The Effort Simply Isn't There
When a guy is really in love with his girlfriend, he'll always try to go the extra mile for her, including coming to her place so she doesn't need to constantly drive to him. This, along with other considerate yet small acts, are what make relationships flourish. However, if he stops doing them and especially he if avoids coming over multiple times in a reasonable span of time, then red flags should be going up all over the place.
A guy doesn't just decide to stop coming over and unless he's got a sixth sense that your place is haunted or something, there's just no legitimate reason other than he might be avoiding you.
9 Secrecy: He Guards His Phone More
Ah yes, the great phone debate. It's really not unusual for a guy to be clingy when it comes to his phone as many guys are. The pattern with all of these behaviors is when they become sudden or seemingly out of the blue, and therein lies the ultimate issue.
It might not be the most subtle way of letting you know that his feelings have changed, but guarding his phone during the times he'd normally be very open is something to note. As women, we all overthink things—so our minds immediately go to the worst places. In reality, he could just be needing his privacy because he's closing up with you, not because he's talking to someone else.
8 The Interaction Between You Two On Social Media Has Dropped
In the days when social media rules the world, we take everything very literally. That includes social media communication, whether it's via message, comment, likes, or complete snubs. As sad as it is, we'd all be lying if we said we didn't notice when our significant others ceased responding to things we tagged them in and photos that we post.
It's not the end of the world if this happens but it does say a lot, especially if your boyfriend is the type to constantly be on top of his pages. As silly as it sounds, this could be a sign that he's putting distance between the two of you starting with the virtual world.
7 Suddenly, He's Comfortable Talking About Other Girls
This is also something that naturally happens over the course of a long-term relationship but if it's truly unusual, pay attention to it. If a guy suddenly begins talking about 'this girl' that he saw or even has the nerve to compare you to someone else, that's a big, giant no-no.
Some guys can be subtle and distant when it comes to getting out of a relationship while others are quite open about it. All the signs could be right in front of our faces—including talking up other girls—without us even realizing it because he hasn't expressed anything truly negative. It's a confusing world we're navigating.
6 He Openly Admits That He Needs Space
Before we go any further, needing space isn't necessarily a bad thing. If a guy admits that he needs some space, it could just be that the relationship is beginning to feel as though it's too much and he needs time to think. Obviously, this is stressful. However, it could mean that he's torn about actually ending the relationship, so the term 'space' is just a moratorium until he gets the courage to fully break things off.
When the 'space' talk comes up, the ball is in your court. You can either decide to let him have all the space he needs and then deal with the aftermath, or you can choose to end things yourself if you feel that the relationship won't survive the 'space' period.
5 Increasingly Selfish Tendencies Are A Red Flag Zone
Some guys are just selfish by nature and to be honest, that's not really the greatest foundation for a good relationship. Unless you're both equally as selfish, in which case you risk combustibility, it's not likely to work for very long. Being self-centered is the one thing that keeps many people out of a relationship because they constantly struggle to care about others just as much as they care about themselves.
If a guy suddenly begins showing off conceited tendencies and seems to forget you in the process, then his priorities are shifting tremendously. It's not just a one-time thing... being selfish is a tough habit to break.
4 He Avoids Any Type Of Mushy Or Long-Term Relationship Talk
For some guys, it's normal to not be overly mushy or empathetic. As long as his partner is fine with it, then no one can say otherwise. We can't fault people whose emotional state and genetics prevent them from being as emotionally affectionate as others, and it's a battle we all need to overcome in our own time.
However, if you find your guy putting on the brakes with the long-term talk suddenly, then it sounds like he's realizing just how serious his relationship is. The act of shutting down is one that usually raises red flags because it's not only audibly and visibly tangible, but it's emotionally tangible as well.
3 Saying 'I Love You' Becomes Increasingly Rare
Similar to being mushy and affectionate, not every guy will opt to say 'I love you' often, either. It's not absolutely necessary in a relationship, but it is nice to hear every once in a while. A major blow, as well as a super obvious tip-off, is if your boyfriend ceases in saying it altogether. He might be feeling inadequate in the relationship, feeling uncomfortable, or just not feeling the relationship at all, but either way, it's not a great sign.
Those three words mean a lot and can only be said if there's meaning behind them, so when they're not being said anymore, well... it's pretty obvious there's some kind of emotional block going on.
2 If He's Bringing Up Trouble From The Past, It'll Cause Trouble In The Future
Let's face it: it's crazy for someone to bring up the past just to stir the pot in the future. If someone is doing this then they obviously have a reason for creating tension and possibly starting a fight. It could be that his trust is low or that his insecurity is suddenly raging, but that doesn't make it an 'okay' thing to do.
Bringing up someone's past in a healthy relationship is like setting off a timebomb for future trouble. Whether or not he's doing it intentionally, though, that's the real question. It could be yet another way to ruining the relationship without breaking it off, or it could just be his emotions running wild and getting the best of him.
1 Your Habits Become His Annoyance
Yikes. There's really nothing worse than when your personal habits begin to set someone else off, especially your partner. When the one person outside of family promises to accept you for who you are and love you despite it, it can be a challenging blow to deal with these things suddenly interfering.
If a guy begins getting ticked off by minor habits, it could be something that you can change or it could be that you don't want to... in which case, the problem is his to deal with. Simply put, we love people despite their flaws, not because of the fact that they don't have any. If our boyfriends can't promise us the same, then do they really deserve to be part of our lives at all?