Can you tell when a guy is thinking about breaking up with you? You might think that matters of the heart are super complicated and mysterious and that broken hearts always come out of left field. While it's true that sometimes love and relationships just don't make any sense, it's also true that you can definitely tell when a guy's heart isn't in it anymore.
If you know what signs to look for, you can tell when your boyfriend doesn't want to be your boyfriend any longer. If you can relate to anything on this list, it definitely sucks, but the truth is that not every couple is meant to last and it's so much better to find out sooner rather than later. Just think about how happy and in love you can be once you find someone who's a much better match. It can be tough to look on the bright side when a break-up is involved, but you'll totally get there, and you'll be happier than you ever were before. Sometimes things in life are a blessing in disguise. That applies to a broken heart, even if it might not seem like it at first. Okay, it definitely doesn't seem like it at first...
If he's doing one of these 20 things, he's about to dump you. Can you relate?!
20 He's Become Less Attentive To Your Feelings
Being in a relationship with someone means caring deeply about them and dealing with their emotions. Sure, you don't want to be anyone's doormat, but you don't want to feel like your partner just doesn't care about you feel about anything.
When your boyfriend wants to break up with you, he's going to stop caring about how you feel. And he's going to act like it, too, so it'll actually be pretty obvious. He'll change plans even when he knows that you've been looking forward to your planned date night for a while, and he'll refuse to listen when you tell him that you're unhappy or worried about something. He just won't want to deal with your feelings since he's got one foot out the door.
19 Cancelling Plans For No Reason
If you want to do something, you'll do it. That goes for anything, from committing to a healthy way of eating to working out to working hard. That also means that when you want to be with someone, you'll do everything within your power to spend a lot of time with them. But if you're not so sure that they're the right person for you, that's not going to be how you feel.
If your boyfriend starts canceling plans for absolutely no reason -- and if he tries to give you an excuse but you can tell that it's super lame and vague -- then he just might be thinking about leaving you. He's also trying to avoid you so he doesn't have to face the truth, which is that he knows that things are over. Yup, it's definitely a cowardly way to act.
18 Starting Fights About Little Things
Ugh. This is honestly the worst thing that someone can do because it's annoying AF. And yet it's a pretty common thing when a guy wants to dump you.
He's going to be dealing with a lot of negative emotions about the fact that he wants to break up, and instead of dealing with them in a healthy way by, you know, talking to you, he's going to start arguments. He won't have anything to really argue with you about, of course. He'll complain that you want to order pizza instead of making dinner or something silly like that, and he won't back down when you ask why he's making such a big deal out of absolutely nothing. It's definitely not a fun time for either one of you.
17 Hanging Out With His Friends More Often Than Usual
If you and your boyfriend have been super close and serious for a long time, that definitely means that you spend a lot of time together. Your relationship should be very important to both of you and that can't be true if you never see each other.
It's a bad sign if your boyfriend starts seeing his friends more than he usually does. Once his social life starts cutting into his date nights with you, you'll probably wonder if something is up, and the truth is that something is definitely wrong. This is another thing that guys do when they want to avoid facing the truth about their relationship, so watch out for that. Spending a lot of time apart can never, ever be a good thing for a couple.
16 Texting 24/7...And He's Super Secretive About It
Who is texting? No, really, who is texting all the time? You're going to wonder if he's cheating on you once you see him doing this, and you might be right. Even if he's not cheating, he might be thinking about it, and even if he's not thinking about it, the truth is that things aren't working out between the two of you.
Things aren't looking good if you bring this up and your boyfriend says that he's not texting anyone or that he's texting "no one." Real mature, right?! It's so awesome to hear that and not be able to have an actual, grown-up conversation about what's going on. You have every right to be upset and frustrated if you see that he's doing this.
15 Working Late And Not Checking In With You
Everyone has to work late sometimes, or at least most people do (unless they have a truly sweet situation). It's just part of life and really not a big deal.
The problem is if your boyfriend starts working late all the time and doesn't check in with you. If you live together and have no idea when he's going to come home because he doesn't tell you, and you're sitting there wondering where he is, that's pretty horrible. He should respect and care about you enough to tell you these things. There's really no good reason for him not to text and say he'll be home a few hours later than he usually is. If he's not checking in, he's not thinking about you as the most important person in his life, and that's a really bad sign.
14 Finding New Hobbies And Interests
People don't change, no matter how much you might want them to, so it seems pretty unlikely that your long-term boyfriend would magically and suddenly become interested in yoga or travel. If he's suddenly got some new hobbies and interests, it just might mean that he's thinking about breaking up with you.
He might be bored with the relationship because he knows that it's not right for either one of you, and that's going to make him feel bored with his entire life, too. He'll want to spice things up and make things more exciting, and he'll look for things to do outside of your relationship. If you feel that he's acting weird and different than usual, you're probably right and you should trust your instincts.
13 Making Travel Plans And Doesn't Consider Including You In Them
It's usually great news if your boyfriend tells you that he wants to go to Paris this spring or New York next fall. Because you'll totally be going with him, right?! And it'll definitely be the best, most epic, most magical and romantic trip ever.
But wait... he didn't include you in his travel plans. In fact, he says that he's going on a solo vacation, or he's going somewhere with his buddies. Um, no, that's super weird. This is a surefire sign that he wants to end the relationship. If you guys are truly meant to be and truly soulmates, you should do everything together, and that includes traveling if that's something that's within your budget. It's super sketchy if he wants to go without you.
12 Complaining All The Time About The Most Mundane Things
No one wants to date a person who complains all the time. Chances are, if your boyfriend has suddenly become a master complainer, he wasn't like that when you met him and first started dating. He probably hasn't ever been like this. But now he whines about everything and you just can't tell what's going on.
Well, here's what's probably going on: he wants to end things because he knows that this isn't the best relationship for him. And instead of manning up and telling you how he feels, he's complaining all the time about the most boring things ever. His complaints will make absolutely zero sense and will be pretty annoying for sure. You have every right to wonder why he's acting so differently and you definitely want to have a serious talk.
11 Talking About His Ex-Girlfriend Out Of The Blue
This is a serious red flag, and it's not something that anyone ever wants to have happen. Your boyfriend definitely has that one ex-girlfriend that he's told you about a lot. That might be because it was a truly toxic relationship and he's so happy to get out of it, or maybe it's because they were super in love and she cheated on him and destroyed him or something. You definitely want the first situation to be true.
If he starts talking about her all the time, you can be sure that he's not interested in being your boyfriend anymore. He might be thinking about going back to her or he might not, but either way, he's thinking about his romantic options and you're not in his romantic future anymore.
10 Reconnecting With People From His Past
If your boyfriend wants to break up with you, he's probably going to start thinking about how to build a life for himself outside of the relationship. He'll want to get things set up, so to speak, so that when he does get the courage to dump you, he'll have a support system going. And that means that he'll probably start reconnecting with people from his past.
These could be people that he dated, family members that he lost touch with, or college or even high school friends that he just doesn't get a chance to see much anymore or even talk to all that often. He's definitely feeling some remorse and regrets that he didn't keep those people in his life, and he wants to change that for sure, along with his relationship status.
9 Changing Your Couple Routine
Brunch on Sundays, date nights every Thursday, binge-watching a new show every weekend afternoon. Every couple has a different routine, but it's definitely an important part of your relationship since it keeps your bond going strong.
When your boyfriend changes up your couple routine, either because he says that he's lost interest in doing that thing or he goes out with friends instead, it's pretty painful. It might sound dramatic but it feels like a total betrayal. You're left confused, wondering why he's acting like this. The truth is that he doesn't want to be your boyfriend anymore and so he doesn't see any point continuing doing the things that you've always done. He just hasn't figured out how to tell you yet, of course. That feels like too much for him right now.
8 Being Passive Aggressive
Passive aggression isn't exactly the most mature way to act. But that's exactly why a guy that wants to dump you is going to act that way.
Instead of just coming clean and admitting that he thinks that a break-up is a good idea, he's going to keep the charade of your relationship going. Yes, it's as condescending and insulting as it sounds. That doesn't mean that he's going to be nice about it, though. He's going to be passive aggressive about absolutely everything and it's going to be super annoying and hurtful. He wants you to get so annoyed that you break up with him or at least bring up the possibility. He wants to make it easy for himself, basically, which is pretty terrible and immature.
7 He Initiates More Serious Conversations
Even though he's probably not going to break up with you just yet, this guy is sure that's what he wants to do, and that means that he's going to have more serious talks with you than normal. This might mean bringing up the future or the next step of your relationship (like getting engaged or moving in together, depending).
He's probably not going to say what he wants to do, though, since it's not like he wants to come right out and say that he wants to dump you, so he's definitely not interested in living with you or marrying you. You're probably going to have a sinking feeling that something is wrong since he's bringing up such serious issues all the time, and of course, you would be totally right.
6 Going Back On His Word
Did he say that you two would move in together this summer? Go on a trip in the fall? Do something special for the holidays?
If he's going back on his word and saying that he either never promised you that or he doesn't want to do that anymore, it's clear that he wants to dump you. He just doesn't want you to keep believing that things are going well and that your relationship is going somewhere. Even if you tell him that it's totally fine and you don't need to do whatever you said that you would do together, it's obviously not fine at all. You'll definitely be hurt and upset and start to see that there are cracks in your relationship. Maybe you never noticed them before, but you'll definitely start noticing them now, right?!
5 Saying He Doesn't Believe In Marriage
If your boyfriend tells you that he doesn't believe in marriage, you can be sure that he wants to dump you.
He doesn't want you to think that a proposal is in the near (or even in the far) future. He would never dream of that since he doesn't want to get your hopes up. Of course, your hopes probably have been up since the very beginning of your relationship since it's tough to be in love with someone and not think down the road like that. Unfortunately, he just doesn't feel the same way. The thing is that he might still believe in marriage, he just doesn't want to marry you, or he might not actually like the idea and so he's being totally truthful. It's impossible to know.
4 Talking Smack About Commitment In General
A guy who is happy with his girlfriend and super in love thinks that commitment is the best idea ever. He definitely doesn't subscribe to the whole notion that commitment is scary or something to avoid. He would never want to think about being in a relationship in such a gross, cliche, negative way.
A guy who wants to dump his girlfriend? He's not going to feel the same way. A sign that he's about to dump you is if he starts talking smack about commitment in general. He might complain about one of his friends and say that he's "whipped" or say that no one should be in a relationship. You'll definitely be confused and insulted, and it won't be fun to listen to this.
3 Making Fun Of You (And Not In A Cute Way)
If your boyfriend is a hilarious person, he's probably going to make fun of you on a regular basis... but it'll always be sweet and charming. He'll only have the best intentions, and he'll never want to actually hurt your feelings.
If he's about to dump you, however, it's a whole different story. He'll make fun of you and not in a cute way. The things that he'll say will hurt and you'll wonder what happened to the guy that you loved and who loved you. Unfortunately, he'll be doing this because he'll get cold feet about dumping you, and he'll be unable to deal with all the negative emotions that are coming up as a result of the approaching break-up. That's just the way that people act about this stuff sometimes.
2 He Seems Bored All The Time
If he's bored when you two are hanging out, and if that seems to be happening all the time now, the truth is that he's definitely about to break up with you. You might think that he's just tired from work or something, but honestly, that's just not what's going on.
You can ask him why he seems so bored... and chances are, he won't have a good answer for you. He might laugh and change the subject and you might think that absolutely nothing is wrong, but something is definitely up, and it's that he wants to break up. He's honestly probably hoping that you'll yell at him and start a more serious discussion and you'll end up dumping him. Yes, it's so mature...
1 Disagreeing With Everything That You Say
No, you don't have to think that everything that your partner says is the best thing ever, and he doesn't have to think the same way about you. But you definitely want them to respect you enough to listen to your opinions and thoughts and feelings.
When your boyfriend stops being respectful and starts disagreeing with everything that you say, you can be sure that he's thinking about leaving you. He's just waiting for the so-called right time to dump you and move on (even though, of course, this is always going to suck, so it's never really the right time). If you can relate to any of these 20 signs, you and your boyfriend definitely need to have a talk... and, no, it's probably not going to be super fun. Isn't love grand?!