"Does he love me, or does he love me not?"
Every girl we know asks that question. It's an unknown variable until he proclaims it. Even then, you question his feelings. Because insecurity. Because love is amazing, terrifying, comforting, and unsettling. Try as you might, you can't read his mind, or heart. You feel like a detective, or a pirate seeking treasure, with a few clues and no road map. Guys often say girls are the mystery, but we know better. He's the enigma that makes your heart light up like a Christmas parade.
Some guys, to our general consternation, take eons to say those three little words. But a guy in love can't hide his feelings. Maybe his words don't give him away, but his actions can clue us into his true-blue feelings. How's a girl to know, outside of straight up asking, "Dude, do you feel me, or what?" We're here to offer up insight and put your mind at ease. We paid attention and did our research. Guys have their tells, and we're happy to divulge a little insight into matters of the heart. His heart in particular. Guys often speak love through action, rather than words or poetic declarations from the rooftops. Besides knowing for yourself where your relationship is headed, your cool perception will win bonus points with him. Guys love it when we get them, without the dreaded we need to talk about our feelings conversation.
Your guy shows up with a pumpkin spice latte because he knows it's the way you celebrate autumn and the advent of sweater season. He kisses that cute freckle on your shoulder, or asks if your girlfriend texted back the night before because you said you were worried. The list goes on. What's important is he's really paying attention. This means he's invested in you, your time, and wants to be a significant part of your life. If the little things like your signature perfume matter, YOU matter. The best part about this love in action testament is the feeling it gives you, the body rush of knowing someone sees you for who you are, and they think you're pretty amazing. Always spend your time on a guy who thinks you're magic. Because you and your latte loving self are.
When a guy texts or calls just to say hi, it means he's thinking of you throughout his day. Even better, he misses you and wants you to know it. That funny Supernatural meme he sent? It means more than Jensen Ackle's delicious abs or love for all things sandwich. Your guy not only noticed how much you love a tv show, he spent his time and effort scrolling through the internet to find just the right thing to make you smile when he can't be there to do it himself. If a guy takes the time to do this, he wants you thinking of him. And if he wants you to think of him throughout your day, you can bet you're on his mind. Just the thought of you makes him feel good and he wants to spread the joy.
A little public display of affection goes a long way in guy speak. He adores you, Girl, and he's not afraid to show it. Not only is he proving his affection for you, he's thrilled by the privilege of showing the world you are His Girl. This is how guys pull a Walt Whitman, yawping up his feelings for you from the proverbial rooftops. Does he hold your hand walking down the street? Give you a sweet kiss in front of his buddies? Then, you got this. He's putting you in front of his ego and his carefully cultivated persona. Not any girl can come between a guy and his cool factor. Only love could make him that crazy. His spontaneity reveals his soft, gooey center. And it has your name all over it.
Somewhere along the line, he started envisioning the two of you building an empire together. This means he's thinking less of "me against the world" and more about "us against the world." Your guy wants you playing for his team, exclusively. You must have done a whole lot of things right. He's acknowledging how well your strengths play off each other. Remember the time when you were picked last in gym for the dodgeball team? Give yourself a high-five and consider yourself the Chosen One. Because he does. Go give Cookie a run for her money, and show her how winning at life is done right. You're the Queen Bey to his Jay Z. The Bonnie to his Clyde. We could go on, but you get the point. You are so in.
No one likes to admit when they're wrong, and ahem, that goes double for most guys out there. It's tricky, because admitting you made a mistake makes you vulnerable. Even in today's modern, woke culture, few men want to expose themselves to just anyone in this way. If he's saying sorry and he means it, he's not only offering an apology, he's revealing his sensitive side. Not only that, but holy moly, he's doing some serious adulting. This should prove the affect your having on his instinct to play to an unseen crowd. He's putting your feelings and opinion of him before his own. In short, he loves you enough to ask that you see him as he is, mistakes and all, and love him anyway. Only true love can make anyone that brave.
If he calls you out, even kindly, it's sure to sting. After all, guys aren't the only ones with egos. You want him to see the best in you. At all times. Not pick up on that time you were less than stellar to the waitstaff when the two of you went out to eat. Or your habit of stealing, sorry, borrowing, pens from the bank. The thing is, he does see the best in you. What's more, he wants the best for you. That means he cares enough to put himself on the line to call you out on your bad behavior. He's willing to risk a little tension because it's good for you. Keeping quiet would only serve him, and he's going above and beyond on your behalf.
Sure, no modern girl needs a hero to sweep her off her feet, or whisk her off in his Tardis on galactic adventure (yeah, sigh, we wish). Yet, he's still driven to play the hero for the girl he loves. You got that right. The girl he loves. You may be more the dragon and less the princess in the ivory tower, but he wants to prove his worth. That might be something as minor as replacing the light on your front porch, but it makes him feel really good. He's levelling up. Trust us, you can still be the coolest feminist in town, and accept his offer of help with graciousness. Think of it as saying, "Yeah, babe. I love you, too." Then show him how to properly change a tire at some later date.
If he's cool with letting you catch him off guard, the two of you have moved into real relationship territory. For months, you only saw him at his finest. Trust us, guys primp and and think about their best angles as must as you do. When he's willing to let go around you, this is his way of letting you know he trusts you. A huge cornerstone of love is that trust, and that grounding that happens when the two of you can hang out in your sweats and unbrushed hair for an entire Sunday. Let him know you adore that side of him as much as you do his Friday night out GQ side. Heck, let him know you like that side even better. He's sure to let you know the same. That's real bonding, and you can check mark that particular relationship goal.
We're pretty sure guys really do pay attention to rom-coms. This indicates more than the desire to score a few brownie points. He's into you enough to impress you, and he's put aside his fears of his Big Move falling flat. When he's placing that order for a dozen of your favorite flowers, or lugs home that gigantic teddy bear, he's anticipating your reaction. He wants to be the reason your eyes light up and you let out that cute little squeal. Now is not the time to play it cool. Give that boy your goofiest grin and throw your arms around him. Just like paying attention to the little things (see above) he's put in effort *and* put aside his perception of masculinity in hopes of making you happy.
It's more than his love for ESPN vs. your love for marathon binge-watching of old (and new!) episodes of Will and Grace at stake. He's essentially saying spending time with you is more important than potential boredom on his behalf. Also, let's be real here. We know more than a few guys who've ended up loving The Game of Thrones after a few sessions with his significant other. Don't be surprised if you catch him missing sleep to find out what the hype over the Red Wedding is all about. Or, for that matter, he secretly adores Karen's sharp humor. The point is, somewhere along the way, he started taking real pleasure in your general happiness. If he says, "You can have the remote", he means, "I think I love you." Even if he doesn't quite get your quirky, or even macabre, sense of humor all the time.
There is no better feeling on the planet than when you realize that guy you care about so much is also potential best friend for the rest of your life material. Best friends not only finish our sentences, but can read our emotional cues from a mile away. You know what we mean. He picks up on that little break in your voice on the phone and drops everything to show up and listen. Even better if he brings chocolate. He's opening up to you, including you in his world in a big way. Maybe he can't read your mind, but he's paying attention enough to know when you need a hug, or someone to simply fill enough space so you know you're not alone in the world.
This potentially means even more than listening to you kvetch about your bad day. Why? Because it means he trusts you enough to open up about his struggles and fears in so many words. When a guy starts to fall for a girl, he can't wait to tell her about his day. He files away a funny thing that happened to him, or how it felt when his boss dressed him down to tell you later. This also goes back to the fact that he considers the two of you a team. Most likely, he doesn't need you to fix his problems, but to be present with him as he rehashes it out loud. Being your guy's sounding board means the two of you have an established connection, one he knows he can rely on.
Picture the two of you at a party, secure enough to venture the social circus on your own. Then you look up and he's looking at you. He holds your gaze and you wonder if everyone can taste the chemistry between the two of you. It's a mind meld. The two of you have an unspoken conversation, yards away from one another. That's real connection. There could be a dozen hot females trying to charm him, but he's only aware of your presence, longing to be next to you. Or he's telling you with one long look he wants you alone. Just imagining this scenario is enough to make us fan ourselves. There's something about you that's gotten under his skin, and he wants you to know it. Saying it without words is just hot.
This is a big one for most guys, because introducing his girl to friends and family has the potential to get messy. As a human in general, he avoids messy. Unless it matters. Unless you matter enough to introduce both of you to potential problems beyond where to eat that night.
We know adding friends and family to the mix can get, um, complicated. You may not like them, or, ugh, they may not take to you. Plus, he respects you enough to let you know he might carry a little baggage. Like his imperfect childhood, or that random couch-surfing buddy. Maybe he hasn't told you he loves you just yet, but he's placing his bets on the fact that the two of you can make it through anything together.
He's so into you even your not-so-brilliant knock-knock jokes make him LOL. That laughter speaks volumes about his connection to you. It says even more about how good he feels being in your presence. Maybe he's heard you tell the same joke hundreds of times, but he's taking pleasure in your delight. When it makes him happy to see you happy, he's included you in his world so much that his emotions are tied to yours. This is basic psychology. Your guy is so in tune with you that your laughter and joie de vivre inspire the same in him. We all want someone with a sense of humor as a partner to elevate our lives from the humdrum to that rich, vibrant world of two people happily in love. You're a charmer, and he's a keeper.
This is often guy speak for, "I love you for more than your killer bod." He's craving honest connection with you. Like you, he likes the way the two of you fit together like pieces of a puzzle. This also displays his need for you beyond the usual hormonal drive. When a guy reaches for you and hold you, he's expressing something almost intangible. You feel like home to him. A place where he feels relaxed, safe, and wanted. Revel in those moments, close your eyes and sink in. Odds are, he's doing the same. There's something about you that draws him in and he's cast aside any inhibitions enough to reveal his romantic side. He needs that serotonin rush that only you can provide. Yes, he's doing it because he knows you need that kind of touch as well. But mostly, he just needs you in his life and arms.
Sources: eharmony.com, thelovequeen.com, metro.co.uk