"Tonight, I'll hook a guy. Tomorrow, pull the switch. Before the ten days are up, I'm going to have this guy running for his life."
It was at this point in time when every girl in the audience cheered for Andie and her master plan to rid herself of a guy in ten days. It was also at this point in time where those same girls wondered if it was possible... And we're here to tell you that it is.
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days is our generation's rulebook for ending relationships that are just simply not working. Kate Hudson as Andie was the female lead we never knew we needed and Matthew McConaughey was the guy we all loved to despise.
While the movie is a tad outdated, we've done everyone a favor and reworked it in order for it to stand up to today's society. What we've been left with is a foolproof list that's kind of crazy but then again, isn't it a bit crazy to have a guy running in ten days or less?
Step aside, arrogant guys... Women have the power and will be unstoppable when it comes to having unsavory dates running for the hills. A few of these and he'll be wondering whatever made us dateable in the first place!
20 Obnoxious And Effective: Text And FaceTime Him... Constantly
The best thing to do when it comes to a guy you no longer want to see is giving him way too much attention. Keep in mind that this could backfire but more often than not, it'll give him the serious creeps. Once he's hooked, make the last call for the love train... It's about to drive through Crazy Town.
FaceTime is a surefire way to both annoy and shower him with unwanted attention simultaneously. Not to mention, we're all well aware of how annoying that ringtone is. A few of those calls and some "I just wanted to see your face!" comments later, and he'll be rethinking the entire thing.
19 It's Dicey But Foolproof: Don't Hesitate To Take And Post Tons Of Photos
If you don't mind your friends seeing photos of your unwanted significant other on social media, then post away. Guys definitely get a bit touchy about announcing a relationship status too soon and photos are even worse. A few duck-lipped faces and some "look at my smoochikins" later, and he'll either be smashing the "block" button or deleting your number.
Far be it for a guy to answer any questions about the mysterious girl he's been tagged in photos with, and better for you when he decides to high-tail it for the hills. If you can get him in a photo booth, more power to you. Mission accomplished.
18 Immediately Bring Up His Birthday And What He'd Like For It
We're hitting the creep factor super hard for this one. Some people are sensitive about their birthday but most don't mind talking about when it is... They just never expect a potential girlfriend to begin planning it ASAP. This works great if his birthday is still a while away because it will seriously weird him out if he knows you've already started planning it for him.
If you want to be really devious, plan a special birthday night for just the two of you... You know, because you started dating after his actual birthday. This late celebration will definitely seal the deal.
17 For The Brave, Suggest A Birthday Vacation... Just The Two Of You
We'd be lying if we said we weren't chuckling a bit at the thought of this one. Andie went all out in her mission to deter Ben from dating her and nothing was off-limits. You don't even need to put money down on an actual vacation—just showing him the Airbnb you've picked out and the Groupon activities you've been bookmarking will be enough.
Commitment is definitely a foreign concept when it comes to the first few days of a relationship, so this act of permanence will definitely set the alarm bells. Bonus points if this pretend-birthday vacation is out of the country or a road trip that's over eight hours long.
16 After Date Number One, Seek Out All Of His Social Media
One thing that Andie didn't have access to (that would have made things ten times easier) was social media. After the first date, make sure to seek out all the personal pages he has... And add them. Not only will this raise a flag (like, maybe you're a bit looney) but it'll make him wonder how hard you searched to find him.
These days, social media is almost like having a virtual diary. Not only will you have access to his daily life but it'll give you the chance to like, comment, and share all the things that will definitely make him think twice about who you are.
15 Work Those Social Media Tags And Mushy Quotes To Accompany Them
Seriously, find the mushiest, lovey-dovey quotes possible. Emily Dickenson? Charlotte Bronte? No way... We're talking about Tennyson poems and Usher lyrics. Declaring your unwavering love in under ten days is nuts; heck, it's crazy to do that in under a month.
The trick to accomplishing this without having your entire family think you've gone mad is to adjust your audience settings. Fix social media settings so that only he can see those specific posts so that way he thinks it's public, but you're the one with the last laugh. It might seem like you're being a witch with a B, but so is he for assuming you want to be in a serious relationship, #amiright?
14 Ask The Unthinkable: Does He Want Kids? What Will Their Names Be?
Fire away! There's nothing worse than being pressured to have kids by the time you're 26 and if anyone abhors it, it's the male species. Being pressured by someone they just started dating is weird, uncomfortable, and about ten other similar adjectives. Not to mention, his reaction might be mildly amusing if you can really strap on your acting shoes and gitrdone.
Take it one step further if need be: Boy or girl? Both? Names? There's no end to future baby-making question potential. If he doesn't immediately excuse himself with an "emergency phone call" from his family, then we'd be surprised. Of course, you could just tell him you're not interested in seeing him again... But where's the fun in that?
13 When In Doubt, Go All Out: Be A Stage-Five Clinger
If guys can be rude and completely awkward at times, then so can women. The term "Stage-Five Clinger" was coined for a reason and unlike on Jersey Shore, it can also be used to a woman's benefit. Clinginess is a massive issue in an early relationship and it's truly a sure-fire way to end it quickly.
Andie was able to figure this out before the term was even brought into existence so we're taking a lesson from her on this one. Hugs, mushy kisses, hand-holding, squealing, you name it... It's all fair game. The best part is that none of it needs to go on social media or even be done around other people.
12 Being A Nice Girl Is Boring; Openly Insult His Friends
Many people will read this and go, "that's such a witchy thing to do, absolutely not." But hear us out on this one. Although Buddha says to be open with kindness and love others despite what they've done, isn't there a little bit of a thrill in being a bad girl once in a while?
Isn't there just the slightest sense of satisfaction in using your wit and wiles to serve a purpose? For all the times a guy has been mean and insensitive, we're giving the green light to go ahead and add this to the "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days: 2019 Edition" list.
11 Talking Up Other Guys Is A Serious Faux-Pas, So Do It
Assuredly, no guy expects their gal to book a hang out sesh with another male while she's currently dating him... Yet guys do it all the time. Rather than maintain your innocence, party it up with your closest guy friends. Have lunch with an ex you're still friends with.
None of it needs to be serious to appear serious, and as long as guy #1 isn't a raging mad man, he'll get the point. It's a subtle way to hint that you're not going to cease being who you are to work on a committed relationship while also cluing him in that you're not really that interested.
10 Send Him Way-Too-Cute Selfies At The Worst Times (I.E. At Work)
At work, with his friends, at five in the morning, get that filter face ready. If there's anything a guy can't stand, it's usually being bombarded with texts. Even if he doesn't open them right away, the notification will still linger as a reminder that he currently has a seemingly obsessive girlfriend.
The first one is cute, the second is slightly less cute, and by the third one, he'll likely be questioning your sanity. The perk? It can be done in under five minutes. Either you'll come off as totally nuts or completely self-obsessed, neither of which is truly attractive or relationship material. Thank you, next!
9 Let That Internal Jealous Girl Be Free
It's not challenging for most girls to whip out their inner jealous streak and many times, it comes out unwarranted. For this next exercise in losing love, we're saying use it—bring out your bad side and turn the tables. Jealously is an extremely unattractive trait and can be downright ruthless in the beginning stages of a relationship, hence the effectiveness.
Whether he's tagged in a photo with another girl, has female co-workers, or even a female neighbor, do your dastardly worst with it. If nothing else, the favored, "oh, well isn't she pretty" usually does the job enough to give him sweaty palms.
8 Attempt To Do Everything With Him, Including Errands
Going food shopping? Tag along. Getting air in his tires? Say you can't stand to be without him for a full ten minutes. Going to the bathroom? Tell him to leave the door unlocked... Just kidding, don't do that. You get the point.
Any instance where he would normally have some alone time is a case of "clingy girlfriend." Eventually, this will become annoying and he'll need to make the choice between letting you down gently (in which case you act totally hurt) or just ghosting you altogether, which means mission accomplished. It's a fine line we walk when it comes to starting relationships, but a relatively thick one when we're trying to ruin one.
7 Fire Away: The Infamous "Are You Ignoring Me?" Text
Yet another sign of a Stage-Five Clinger, this is a variation of the obsessive girlfriend characteristic we're trying to relate. It's so easy to send a text after an hour or three, but it's even easier to send this text after, oh, say five minutes. That's basically enough for a bathroom break, for him to grab some food, etc., and it'll have him wondering how needy you really are.
Playing up the insecurity would normally be a massive no-go but in the case of needing to end a relationship in ten days, this comes in pretty handy. Note: it works the best in the event that messages are marked "read."
6 Be Emotional About Everything, And Then Be Emotional Some More
Yikes, the female range of emotion. It can be a doozy for anyone, let alone a new boyfriend, to handle. This can totally be done without him thinking that you're mentally unstable but it'll take some work for sure. If this is purely a game for you, feel free to play it up Andie-style, complete with a freakout over your precious fern not surviving in his apartment.
If you're seeking a more subtle approach, deliver your emotional blows via text or messenger. It's effective, clear-cut, and definitely tells him that you're just not in a place to handle a relationship right now.
5 Bombard Him With Chick Flicks And Sappy Love Songs
Who are we kidding, most of us do this to our boyfriends without trying to get rid of him. This is most effective when used on the first or second date. When given the option to choose what the two of you do that night, offer to bring over some of your favorites for a movie night.
Anything that's awkward for a guy is fair game and it's even better if throw some sappy love song CDs in there for post-movie action. Not only is it a mood-ruiner, but he'll be totally turned off by the act... Unless you're dating a guy who happens to love Mariah Carey and Mean Girls.
4 A Trick: Flirt With His Friends (In Front Of Him For Max Damage)
Ah yes, the infamous love triangle. We do need to caution that this tactic should only be done by the most experienced of relationship-enders. The risk for an actual love triangle is possible and then you'll be stuck with ending two almost-relationships. It's a low-down trick but making a guy think that you just can't help but be naturally flirtatious will usually throw him warning flags.
Heck, it would throw anyone warning flags. Being untrustworthy is a sad quality to have, but in the event that a guy just isn't getting the point, hitting on another one is an immediate blow.
3 In Extreme Cases, Pretend To Be Oblivious To Good Habits
There was a scene in the show Greek where the main character, Casey, finally scores a date with this guy she's been eyeing. When they finally get intimate, he tries eating her face rather than just kissing her. We're not saying to be a drooling Mastiff when it comes to a makeout sesh, but acting as though you have no idea what you're doing could work.
Then again, it could also come off as adorable. Depending on how you swing it, many guys count physical closeness as a high notch on their list of "must have" traits for their girlfriends. Attempt at your own risk.
2 Or Pretend To Be Oblivious To Closeness Altogether
Andie was a pro at acting as though she was oblivious to what Ben wanted most of the time. As she bulldozed over his feelings, she also came off as a woman who truly had no idea what an adult male wanted. Channel Andie!
While you don't need to go as far as nicknaming certain parts "Princess Sophia" (unless you are so inclined) but doing something similar definitely helps to ruin the mood. Chances are, if you idolize food more than you idolize your date during Netflix and chill, then he'll get the point pretty quickly. If all else flops, just tell him that the theme song from Frozen really gets you in the mood... Done deal.
1 When All Else Is Ineffective: Lie About Being Attracted To Men
This is a bit of a long shot because if this were the case, then why would you be on a date with a man in the first place? If all else slips away and you're out of options, telling him that you're not even attracted to men is definitely a relationship-ender.
If you happen to be attracted to both men and women—as much as we despise feeding the stereotype—explaining that you're just more into girls at the moment is a nail in the coffin for sure. Either way, he'll get the point without having his feelings smashed into a thousand pieces.