We've all been in a situation where we've met a cute, cool new guy, gone out with him a few times, told all our friends all about him, but had no idea whether he actually wanted to be in a serious relationship with us. It can be easy to assume that of course he does because it's been a few weeks or a few months, he seems into us, and we really want things to work out.
Unfortunately, dating isn't that easy and there are a lot of guys who don't have any interest in having a girlfriend or even considering the idea. We've all been in the awkward situation of having to tell people that things just didn't go according to plan with this guy and here we are, still single.
Instead of sitting on the couch and watching yet another romantic comedy and wondering why that can't be us, we can figure out how to tell if a guy wants to be our boyfriend and wants us to be his girlfriend. It's a lot better to have a game plan, right?
Here's the best way to decode a bro: 20 signs he actually wants a long-term relationship! We've totally got this.
20 He Pays More Attention To You Than His Phone
It's funny to think about the role that phones play in dating these days. We text the guy that we're interested in being in a relationship with because it's a fun way to chat and it's also the best, simplest way to make plans (unless the guy doesn't answer for hours, but that's another story).
If we really want to tell if a guy actually wants a long-term relationship, this is a great sign: he pays more attention to us than to his phone. A guy who truly likes us would never think that whatever he's scrolling or swiping at would be more interesting than us. He's 100 percent present.
19 He Doesn't Bring Up His Ex Every Five Seconds (Or If He Does, He Makes It Clear It Was A Bad Situation)
We're always being told that if a guy that we just started seeing talks about his ex-girlfriend a lot, that means that he still holds a burning flame for her and that we should run away. But it might not be quite that serious.
It's a good sign if the guy that we just started hanging out with doesn't mention his ex all the time... but if he brings her up a few times and makes it super obvious that it was a bad situation, that's totally fine. It makes sense that he would want to share some aspects of his romantic history with us. He could also be making a point that we're the complete opposite of her and he really wants something with us.
18 He Contacts You First (Or Makes A Plan Quickly When You Do)
It's always awesome when we like a guy and he's the one who texts us to ask us out again (and again). That's a true sign that he wants something long-term with us and isn't anything like a bro.
It's also a good sign if we're the one who messages him about going out again and he responds quickly and positively. Some guys are just as shy as we can be, and it's not exactly fair to say that every guy has to ask every girl out every time and that's just the way that it has to be. He could like us but want to wait for us to contact him first. As long as we get the date and have a real connection, it's fine.
17 He Keeps His Word And Never Cancels Dates
Have we ever dated a guy who canceled dates all the time and always had a reason why he couldn't spend time with us? We knew deep down that something was sketchy but we liked him so kept hoping that things would improve?
We've definitely all that done that. Chances are, we were dealing with a bro.
We can be sure that this guy that we're with is the real thing and BF material if he never cancels dates and he always keeps his word. We need someone who proves that we matter to him by always seeing us when he says that he will. Nothing else is legit.
16 He Offers To Make You Dinner And Makes Sweet, Romantic Gestures
These days, with a million different food delivery services and healthy take-out places, it seems really old-fashioned for a guy to make a girl that he just started dating dinner. That's why it's such a sweet, romantic gesture. And that's why when a guy likes us and we want to decode whether or not he's a bro, it's a good sign that he's not if he cooks for us.
It proves that he wants to do something sweet, he's showing off his culinary skills, and he wants to impress us. There's something so charming about that.
15 He Waits To Kiss You
It can be confusing when we like a guy and have been dating for a little while and we still haven't had our first kiss. We can tell ourselves, "Okay, this is the date that we're going to just be brave and kiss him" but then the date comes and goes and we were too shy.
If a guy waits a little bit to kiss us, it can actually prove that he wants a long-term relationship. He wants to find the right moment and maybe he's even trying to find the perfect moment (which of course is more of a movie thing than a real life thing).
14 He Initiates Deep Discussions
We don't click with everyone and it's rare to go on a date and have a really amazing, deep discussion.
Are we having really epic chats with the guy that we're seeing? It's a good sign that he's not a bro and that he sees himself dating us long-term. Being on the same page conversation-wise is really awesome and it's exactly what everyone is hoping to find. We can talk about anything and everything and we're really comfortable with him.
That's good news because if we want to be in a relationship with someone, it helps to find them easy to talk to and to share stuff with.
13 He Shares Things About Himself
A guy with a crush on a girl is basically an open book. He is super giddy around her and won't be able to stop talking. He'll share everything and talk about what's going on in his life right now and what happened last year and what his childhood was like and anything else that comes to mind.
He might not even mean to talk so much but he's just so happy that he's found someone so great.
We can be confident about a guy's interest in us when he's more than excited to share a lot of things about himself. He wants us to know him and that's really cool since that's exactly what we want, too.
12 He Talks To You Like An Equal
This is a really big thing that separates the good guys from the bros.
Bros love to mansplain (but might not really consider it that) and tell us that we're wrong and that they know the right answer to everything. Good guys, on the other hand, are more than happy to treat us like an equal. They respect us, they want to hear what we have to say, and they like that we have our own feelings and thoughts and opinions on things.
It's important that we feel like he likes what we have to say and that he never makes us feel disrespected.
11 He Talks About Relationships In A Positive Way
It's tough to imagine that a guy would want us to be his girlfriend when all he does is say negative things about love and people who are in relationships. Maybe he brings up his friend who just got engaged and is always super down on marriage and he talks about how it doesn't seem logical to get married.
Sure, we can say that this is no big deal and he would feel differently if he really was dating us... and yet that doesn't seem like the best way to go.
A guy who is the opposite of a bro will definitely say positive things about relationships. We'll be sure that he thinks that being in a relationship is a good idea (and that it's only a matter of time before he asks us to be his girlfriend).
10 You Never Second Guess His Intentions Or Feelings
A guy needs to be clear about how he feels about you from the beginning. That's not happening? You don't need to keep seeing him and wondering when he's going to be honest. If he's not from the start, it's hard to imagine him changing.
You can be sure that a guy wants a long-term relationship with you when you never have to second guess his intentions and feelings. Things are always very straightforward and clear and that's true from the first date that you go on with him. It'll be really nice to realize that things are progressing so well and so clear.
9 He Makes You Feel Good About Yourself
The truth is that dating a bro is never going to go well. You'll never feel good about yourself and it'll most likely be really bad for your self-esteem and confidence.
You can't date someone who doesn't make you feel awesome. It's just not a good idea. Hopefully, if you're considering starting a new relationship, this guy makes you feel like you're smart, funny, and worthy of everything and anything that you want. He should inspire you and motivate you and it should definitely be a mutual thing. If that's not the case, you can be sure that you just might be with a bro.
8 He Is Happy To Just Sit And Listen To You
Bros tend to make things about them so any subject, any conversation, and any moment will revolve around them. That's just not going to happen with a guy who sees us as his long-term GF.
Instead, this guy will be happy to sit back and listen to us. He'll think that whatever we have to say is more interesting than anything else and he'll be an awesome listener.
Basically, he'll treat us a lot differently (and better) than people that we've dated before. It'll be obvious that he's boyfriend material and when we share the things that he says to us with our best friends, they'll agree.
7 He Recalls Details Of Your Life And Things You've Said To Him
We've probably all had the weird experience of talking to a guy for a long time, telling him all kinds of stuff, thinking that he was really listening and taking everything in... and then we saw him again a few days later and he had no recollection of anything that we told him. Ouch.
That's not going to happen with the guy who wants us to be his girlfriend because he'll recall details of our life and the things that we've said to him. We might even be (happily) surprised by how much he remembers. No, he doesn't have a good memory (although he might). He just really likes us.
6 He Always Brings Up Going On Another Date At The End Of The Evening
Having a good, fun date is one thing. Getting another date? Yeah, that can be tricky and confusing and can make us wonder if we even know when someone likes us and when they want to peace out.
We'll feel confident that someone wants to seriously date us when he makes a plan for another date at the end of the evening. He would never dream of saying goodbye without setting up another date, and we can rest easy knowing that we're both thinking the same thing: we're having the best time ever and want to keep it going.
5 His Compliments Sound Genuine And Are Not About Your Looks
We all love hearing that we have nice hair or that we picked out the perfect shade of red lipstick or that we really know how to dress. When a guy only compliments us on our physical appearance, though, it can make us wonder if he actually likes us for who we are or if he's, well, a bro.
A guy who compliments us on how smart we are, says that he loves and respects our career and work ethic, thinks that we're really funny, and is always down to say nice things about whatever we have going on in our lives? That's the kind of guy who is the opposite of a bro and who most likely wants us to be his GF.
4 He Doesn't Hide That He's Into You
Bros don't really care if we know that they like us or not. It's all about them and they're prone to canceling dates and acting like they're too good for us. Those guys aren't the kind of people that we want to be our boyfriend, anyway, but it can still suck to realize that we like someone who isn't interested.
When a guy really cares about us, we'll know because he'll make it obvious and will never hide it. He'll tell us how he feels. He'll text us a lot. He'll want to see us a lot. It'll be amazing and we'll never wonder what's going on.
3 You Feel Like You Know Him Super Well
When we date a bro, he's not someone who is super easy to get to know. We might know a few superficial things about him but nothing deeper. We'll never get much further than learning what his job is and maybe we know that he has an older sister and likes to play guitar, but that's really it.
We can be sure that a guy is into being in a serious relationship with us when we feel like we know him really well. We know what he loves and hates about his job. We know who his best friends are and what his family is like and all of the quirks that make every person so unique.
2 He Tells His Friends And Family About The Great Girl That He's Dating
It can be really awful to date a guy for a while, think that things are going great, and then realize that his family and friends have absolutely no clue that we exist. He's never even mentioned us, let alone told them that he's seeing us.
On the other hand, when a guy wants us to be his serious, long-term GF, he'll definitely let his friends and fam know all about us. He won't be able to stop gushing about the great girl that he's dating (that's us, of course) and when we learn that, it'll feel really awesome for sure.
1 He's The One Who Suggests Making Things Official
Everyone has been in an awkward situation where they thought that they would be having the "okay, cool, we like each other and we're in a relationship" talk but instead, the other person said that they didn't want that and it was best not to get serious.
That's the kind of chat that we would have with a bro. When we're with a guy who wants something long-term with us, he's going to tell us, and more than that, he's absolutely going to initiate that discussion. And we'll be smiling super big, so glad and grateful that we're with such a great guy.