For the 21st century woman, the thought of having a controlling boyfriend feels not just antiquated, but down right cave man. Women today want freedom. And we want a lot of it. We laugh at our mothers and grandmothers for having been so easily manipulated. We cry, too, knowing the amount of abuse and pain they’ve endured based on a patriarchal society. More than ever before, women are hip to the games men play. We’re wiser and more informed.
Truth be told, it has a lot to do with astrology, witchcraft, and goddess worship becoming main players in the game of life. Those fierce feminine energies are bringing to light all the darkness that has kept women hidden and hurting. Now, we are learning how to stop a controlling guy from a mile away. However, there are still some of us who enjoy a little control now and then –for the sake of power dynamics and bedroom play. Whatever you situation is, study his sun and rising sign to know how much of a control freak it. Then decide if he’s worth the time. Let Saturn be your guide.
15. Aries –All About Exerting Himself
Not about generalizations here, but Aries is the man’s man. He likes his status as a man in society and he knows that he has a lot of pull. It has so much to do with that Mars energy running through his veins. An energy that elevates his abilities to manipulate strength in various aspects of life. And the fact that he’s headstrong and beaming with fiery flare makes him one that will try to put the lockdown. But the problem with Aries is that he goes about it the wrong way. He’s forgotten the old proverb that honey attracts more than crap. So he tends to be all aggressive and hoping this tactic works. He’s demanding and when he calls, he wants you to listen. In many ways, he feels it’s his duty to have a woman at his beckon call.
14. Taurus –He Has a Tough Time Controlling Himself
Because Taurus is both stubborn and into pampering himself, he tends to get caught up satisfying his every whim. Not all his whims are negative in nature, but he does have a hard time turning away things that make him feel good. He won’t try to control you. As a matter of fact, he’ll want you to partake in some of his indulgences which means there’s plenty of room and time for both of you to lose control. With him, you can forget about rules and regulations. But don’t try to pull him away from his vices or you will see the stubborn side of him that will dig further into bad habits. He’s not beyond taking you with him, so be careful that you don’t let go of your own integrity to please his proclivities.
13. Gemini –Not a Chance, He’ll Push You Toward Freedom
No way, no how will a Gemini man try to control you. Actually, he’ll be so against putting down boundaries that it might often feel like he’s not even that into you or that he’d be fine without you. Don’t worry, that’s just his way of being caught up in life and getting the most enjoyment possible. He’s not about tying anyone down, unless it’s in the bedroom. What he’s likely to do is share his ability to be so free-loving, opening your eyes to a new way in which to view the world, people, and relationships. What you’ll appreciate about his character is that he will support you in most everything you do and even push you to be as spontaneous and innovative as possible –take that as you will.
12. Cancer –Emotionally, 100%
Lawd, here comes the emotional manipulator of the bunch. What a Cancer man does is pretend that he’s not controlling you, he’ll even say he’s beyond such constraints, pushing you to be adventurous. But the moment you go a little too far or hurt his feelings, he’ll be sure to make you feel guilty or shame in some very tricky way. It won’t be obvious. You might not even notice it at first, but be sure that behind the scenes he’s already got his claws into you, twisting and turning your emotions without your realization. If you hurt him, he’s going to clamp down hard. And it will hurt. What’s even worse is that when you do feel shame or guilt, he’ll be the one to console you as if it wasn’t him in the first place that put those thoughts into your head. This is a intuitive psycho-path who plays with emotions because he knows no other way and because he’s constantly on the defensive that someone is already doing the same to him.
11. Leo –From a Distance, Maybe
Believe it or not, Leos won’t be so controlling despite their loyalty to the pack. They value loyalty, but should you go astray, they’re happy to see you go in order to welcome a new member into the pride. He’s not into games. And he’s not one to hide his feelings. When in the spotlight or any position that gives him power or attention, if you happen to get out of line, say the wrong thing or wear the wrong outfit, he won’t be afraid to let you know. He’ll do so privately because he won’t want to ruin his reputation. But you’d better believe that in some way, shape, or form, he’s making sure that you represent him and let him shine. This isn’t a man who’s about to let all his creativity and hard-work go down the drain because you don’t know how to act or dress.
10. Virgo –Too Worried About Controlling Himself
Here’s a man who’s so critical of himself that he’s likely to get lost in a rabbit hole of self-destruction. It’s hard for a Virgo male to accept his low self-esteem. In many ways, it makes him feel like less of a man. As a result, he’s quite particular about the type of woman he dates. You are a representation of him and his values. He worries that you won’t be able to live up to his standards. And because he’s worried about how he presents himself to the world, he’ll project that onto you. He might not say anything, but you’ll see it in the way he treats you when he’s out. This has a lot to do with the fact that he’s got control issues with himself. Often times, he goes off the deep end despite being such a grounded earth sign. He does not have that Mother Earth energy that a Virgo female has and because of this his confidence levels suffer. If he appears to be uptight, arrogant, or even a hypochondriac, it’s only because he’s lost control of the way he thinks about life.
9. Libra –He’ll Want You to Lose Control
Libra will remove what’s right and wrong despite his knack for seeking justice. When it comes to love, all is far in love and war. And according to Libra, he believes that love knows no boundaries. For him, a love that constricts is no love at all. He will want room to breathe, in fact, he demands it. This does not mean he’s looking to push you out of his life, he just want to be free to explore the limitless possibilities that life has to offer. He will not hold it against you if you do the same. In subtle ways, he’ll encourage you do have some escapades of your own. It will feel strange at first, but if you could understand love the way he does, then it would make perfect sense. Ask him about his philosophy on love and then you’ll see why he’s anti-control.
8. Scorpio –Hands Down, He Wins the Title
He’s the king of controlling and unashamed to admit it. Scorpio doesn’t just demand that you obey him, he conjure you to do so. Putting spells on his lovers is not beyond him. When he wants to have control over you, he will. It’s that simple. He believes in his power without any shadow of a doubt. And that’s where all of his work happens, in the dark, in those mysterious moments when you think he’s just off doing his own thing. More than likely, he’s controlling you from afar. His control is related to Pluto. It’s about digging deep and finding sources of energy that excite the sexual realm. This is a guy who relishes in watching you squirm and the more you resist, the more he knows he’s got his stinger in you. Now it’s just a matter of injecting the venom, putting you under his spell and having his way with you, completely and eternally.
7. Sagittarius –In a Non-Obvious Way
He’s known for being gregarious and having lots of friend circles. Sagittarius men enjoy being social and trying on many hats. Their life is about expanding and from that expansion seeing what they can become or seeing how life alters as a result. So while he’s off doing his thing, he wants to be sure you’re at home, safe and sound, but also that you’re still. He doesn’t want you to make a sound. He wants you to be silent and not make as much noise as he does. In fact, his proclivity is to go for a woman the exact opposite of him. If he should find someone to match his ability to mingle, it will make him insecure. Don’t put it past him to create scenarios that are complete fictitious, placing you at the center of any wrong doings. It has a lot to do with his own feelings and his desire to want to go out and play.
6. Capricorn –Less Control, More Boundaries
The Capricorn guy will not want to control you, per se, but he will want you to know the rules. Not just know the rules, but follow them to a tee. When he trusts you, he completely trusts you. However, he’ll want to set up boundaries from the start. For him, it’s about staying within these parameters. Should you go outside these boundaries, not only will you see a scary side, you’ll also see him go cold fast than you can say go. When it comes to setting boundaries with him, you’re best bet is to follow them should you be so inclined. Just know that if you want to play with limits or even provoke him, you’re setting yourself up for a heartache that will stay with you for years. His cold manner with which he’ll drop you will leave you wondering if he ever cared in the first place.
5. Aquarius –He’s Beyond Such Concepts
No way will you see an Aquarius man try to control you. For him, control is a sign of bad things to come. He doesn’t believe in controlling anyone or anything. He’s a pioneer in the world of love. What he desires is a life free of titles and categories. This is the guy you want if you’re into liberating yourself and your own notion of love. He’s not about controlling you through adhering to relationship quos or names. You might not ever hear him call you girlfriend or wife, despite being together for years or decades. He doesn’t want to give you the wrong impression because at any given moment he’s likely to disappear. Not because he doesn’t care but because life beckons. It’s as simple as that. He’s beholden to nothing and no one.
4. Pisces –He’s Lost Control
The Pisces man is without any control. He was born this way. Don’t judge him and he won’t judge you. For him, life goes way beyond what we see, hear, taste, and know. Life for him is about feelings. And he feels that putting anyone under control would not only be wrong, but unnatural. What he seeks is a peace far beyond this earthly realm. You will find him out there floating on spiritual concepts that don’t just question control itself, but question our own control or lack thereof our own bodies –including the mind and heart. This is the guy you will least likely build a strong relationship with because he’s so abstract that even his own definition of control is out of control.
Hello planet of never-ending boundaries. Saturn is the king of keeping this in control. This is the grumpy old man or the strict father planet. With Saturn, things must have a place and rhyme and reason otherwise they don’t make sense to Saturn. And in that case, Saturn will do it’s best to eliminate, ignore, or place boundaries on anything that goes against its proclivities. Saturn will control everything from time and ideas down to the bones in your body. Saturn will want to keep you on time, in order, and in tip top shape. Knowing in which sign his Saturn is in will help you understand how he views control. Saturn is never easy on us, but the objective is to keep us in line so we can value control even when we’re on the brink of losing it.
It might seem a little unorthodox to focus on a planet that is the anti-thesis of control and boundaries, but in Jupiter, we can find a lot of ground to cover. This will be the planet that tells you how he views ideas and concepts, most of based on society. If you want to know how his philosophy on branching out, find out in which sign his Jupiter is in. Here you will see whether he’s traditional or eccentric. Depending on where his Jupiter lies, he could be anywhere from serious to semi-fun to outright jovial. Understanding his Jupiter can help balance out his Saturn should his Saturn placement be in a hard conjunction with Jupiter. If they have a conjunction, you will often see someone who has an amicable relationship with control and loss of control.
This might also seem like a strange planet to focus on, but Pluto is about both control and losing control. Pluto rules the underworld and isn’t afraid to go deep into the psyche. In order to understand why certain people are more controlling than others, study their Pluto. Pluto in water signs will be intense and even obsessive with control, whereas Pluto in fire signs will be more geared towards controlling the mind rather than the heart. When looking at Pluto, know that this is a planet that never stops searching and trying to get to the bottom of things, even when it comes to why we want to control or be controlled. Pluto is our free therapy session if we give it enough time and attention.
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