Totally awkward, completely exciting and everywhere in-between … The first date is basically the most important milestone of any great relationship. It is where the connection sparks and things truly take off towards the future.
Dating definitely isn’t for the faint of heart; it can actually be a lot of hard work. Through all the trials and tribulations, it’s important to remember the reason we date in the first place, and that knowing self-worth is everything.
During the first date, we set out to do the right things to give a great first impression. The two C’s, confidence and conversation, are the building blocks for any great first date. With these, any uncomfortable or tense situation can be turned around.
However, no matter how necessary it is to put our best foot forward on the first date, we can’t forget to study the other person, too. This moment is when we can check out more specific details and find any glaring red flags that we couldn’t see through texting.
Does he wear nice clothes, did he remember to thank the staff and did he choose somewhere nice for the date? Ever wondered what some of the biggest things girls everywhere notice during that important first date? Well, here are 20 things she is definitely making a mental note about.
20 She's Paying Attention To His Wallet
Girls notice the wallet. It’s not so much about how much money the guy has, but more about if he’s willing to take care of her during the first date. Since first dates are about first impressions, girls want to know if this potential partner has the ability to provide her with that sense of security she needs in life.
Is he willing to pay for the date or is he wanting to split the check? Many people may feel splitting the check is just good manners on the woman’s part, but when a guy steps up and takes that wallet out first, it means something to a girl. She can still offer to pay, but what matters is he tried to take care of her first.
19 She's Noticing If He's On Time For The Date
Being punctual is so important in so many areas of life, and dating is definitely one of them. If he’s late for the first date, she’ll notice. If he’s on time, she sees that. A person who shows up for a date on time is showing the other person that they are important.
Of course, there are many viable reasons for being late on the first date. But if the guy doesn’t have a believable excuse for why he is late, it isn’t a good sign for what’s to come down the road with dating him. When a girl agrees to a time for the date, he must show up at that time, if not earlier.
18 She Is Observing His Clothing Choice
What a person wears to the first date says a lot about them and how they feel about themselves. Girls see everything and one of the first things she is going to see is what he is wearing. His clothing choice can tell her everything, from his personality to his hygiene habits.
If he wants to put forth a good impression, he’s going to probably wear some of his best pieces. If he shows up with dirty clothes or something that just doesn’t look all that wonderful, he might not care what she thinks about him and this could mean he isn’t as invested in the date as she probably is.
17 She Is Paying Attention To His Overall Behaviour During The Date...
Is he happy? Does he seem moody? Is he being nice? What did he do after she playfully teased him about his childhood nickname? She is paying attention to his overall behaviour during the whole date and deciding if he is a good match for her.
When people meet for the first time, all sorts of different behaviours can come out. He might be too tense or too playful; it really can go either way. Seriously, the best piece of advice anyone can give to someone going on a first date is to just be themselves.
16 ...Especially How He Treats The Waiter
During a first date, it’s not just necessary to treat one's partner well, but it is also important to make a conscious effort to treat the waitstaff nicely. She is paying attention to how he treats the waiter because this can give her insight into some of his true personality traits.
He can be nice to her all day, but if he isn’t nice to the waiter, he is likely not a very nice person. If he is charming to you, but rude to the staff, this could be a huge red flag, as he might feel he is better than those in lesser positions than him.
15 She Is Noticing If He Is Aggressively Romantic
Holding her hand as you walk down the street is nice. A hug at the end of the night is sweet. But anything more without getting a definite vibe from her is too much and should not happen. She will definitely pay attention to whether her date is being too romantic.
A guy who is aggressive when it comes to romance and all that involves romance probably has some entitlement issues and thinks he deserves these privileges. This should be seen as a red flag every single time, no matter what the situation or who the guy is.
14 She's Paying Attention To How Well The Conversation Flows
A good conversation is everything during the first date. This time is for the two parties to get to know each other further before making the decision to carry on or end it all. She is paying attention to how well the conversation flows because this will let her know if there is a deeper connection with him.
If the conversation is struggling and they don’t have anything in common, a future together is going to be hard to imagine. When she is looking for a serious relationship, the conversation during the date is probably going to need to be the best thing that's happening.
13 She Notices If He Brings Up His Ex Too Many Times
A guy who brings up his ex too often is a guy who is not completely over her. There is never really a good reason to bring up a past interest during the first date, but if it does happen once or twice for good reason, we can forgive it. However, anything more really is inexcusable.
She is on that first date with him for a reason, and we can assure you, it is not to hear about who he used to date. Bringing up the ex during the date not only tells her that he isn’t over the past, it tells her that she probably isn’t as important to him as she should be.
12 And If He Is Making Too Many Bad Jokes
Jokes are a great way to keep a good conversation flowing. Women love guys who can make them laugh. That being said, the jokes should never be at the woman's expense. She will be paying attention to how much he “teases” her and makes her the punchline to his bad jokes.
It can be silly if she makes a cute mistake and it becomes some inside joke from the first date, but when he won’t let her live it down for the entire date, a second date won’t likely come his way. She wants a guy who is funny; she doesn’t want a guy who is cruel.
11 She Is Observing His Cell Phone Habits
Phones have become a serious problem in the dating universe nowadays. People are practically glued to their devices 24/7. Since first dates are about getting to know the other person on a deeper level, you can see how this can be an issue.
She will notice if he is paying more attention to his phone than he is to her. If a guy has his face on his phone the whole time, she is going to feel neglected and like the whole thing is pointless. He is obviously more interested in his phone than he is in getting to know her better.
10 She Is Paying Attention To His Temper
Bad tempers should never come out on a first date, so she is definitely going to pay attention to his mood for any red flags. This can provide her with a picture of what he is like during everyday interactions outside of this one coffee outing together.
A guy who gets upset after losing against his date during a round of Skee Ball is not a guy she should be around. How he handles stressful situations during the first date is going to help her figure out more about who he is as a person and if he is someone she wants to be around for the long haul.
9 And Noticing If He Shows Respect
Respect is an important part of any healthy relationship, and the same goes for the first date. Does he respect her needs? Is he clearly showing respect for her personal boundaries?
Respect is all about showing the other person they matter. Seeing respect from him on the first date is a definite good sign for any girl.
"If you tell the person that you are a vegan and they suggest a restaurant based on this information, this is a very good sign," Emily Mendez, MS, EdS, a mental health expert and writer, told Insider. "It shows that they listened to you and took your wishes into consideration."
8 She Is Paying Attention To How He Speaks About Family
Typically, topics of conversation on the first date should be light-hearted and easy. However, she can determine what is most important to him by the topics he asks her about. If he asks question after question about family matters, she can see family is important to him.
If family is high on her list of values, this is great. If she doesn’t see herself expanding in the family department, she might not like this realisation. Either, way she is going to pay attention to where family falls in the conversation's priorities for him on the first date.
7 She's Paying Attention To Whether He Seems To Enjoy The Date Or Not
A boring guy is not a fun guy. No one wants to be on a first date with someone who seems totally bored out of their mind. She will notice if her date is enjoying himself, because it will reflect on how well the date is going for him.
If he is enjoying the date, she can determine he is building a good connection with her. But if he seems unhappy during their time together, it will likely make her feel that things are not headed in a fun direction and she shouldn’t waste much more time on this guy.
6 And If She Is Making A Connection With Him
What is the point of a first date if not to make a connection? The connection two people make during their first hangout will likely help decide if there is going to be a second date. Whether or not she is making a valuable connection with him is probably going to be one of the main things she is paying attention to during the date.
If the connection isn’t happening, there isn’t really anything he can do to change it, though. It’s either there or it’s not. Before the first date, two people usually have a connection over text message or phone calls, but getting that in-person connection is huge.
5 She Is Observing Eye Contact
The eyes are the windows to the soul, right? A person who makes excellent eye contact is someone who wants the other person to know they have nothing to hide.
While talking during the first date, she will pay attention to what his eyes are doing. Are they looking back into hers, or are they sort of shifting back and forth like he’s not sure about what he’s saying to her? When he is locked in eye contact, she will know that, in that moment, she has his undivided attention and no one else matters. This is something she wants in a first date.
4 She Is Paying Attention To How Well She Is Being Treated
Everyone wants that perfect first date, but sometimes the cards aren't on the table for this to happen. A girl knows what she wants before she agrees to a date with a guy. She likely knows what she deserves and knows what she is looking for in a partner.
She is paying extra attention to how well he is treating her during their first encounter together. If he is treating her like the princess she is, this is great news. However, if he is treating her like, perhaps, she is the lucky one to be on a date with him, then she isn’t going to feel too thrilled.
3 She's Paying Attention To His Character And If He Is Being Honest
A good guy doesn’t have to try to seem like a good guy; it is just who he is. In fact, a guy who is trying really hard to make it known that he is a good guy is probably trying to deceive the girl he's on a date with.
She'll be paying attention to her date’s character and if he is being honest. Anyone who spits lies during the first date is questionable, but a guy who lets the lies take over his true personality is showing he isn’t trustworthy or honest at all – both are necessary if she wants a good relationship after the first date.
2 She Is Noticing Any Bad Habits
We are all human and we all have faults. It’s true, no one is perfect. However, we all also have our own ideas of how many faults or mistakes we can handle in a potential partner.
Obviously, he is probably going to try not to reveal any bad habits during the first date, but this isn’t always simple. She will be paying attention to any bad habits that he lets slip out. If they are against her personal morals, this could be a big problem for her. Many bad habits are also red flags when it comes to first dates.
1 She Is Paying Attention To Where He Takes Her For The First Date
Leading up to the first date, she likely had several conversations with him over the phone about their interests and dislikes. She will be paying attention to where they go on the first date because this could show her if he was paying attention to anything she said before they met up on the date.
He shouldn’t take someone who doesn’t like rollercoasters to an amusement park, and he wouldn’t take someone who is allergic to flowers to a botanical garden. It’s common sense and simple courtesy. Hopefully, the two decided together where to have their first date, but if it was his choice, she will be making a note on whether or not it was a good one.