The first three months of a relationship are like barreling into a black hole heart first. Nobody knows what's on the other side of love. In a new relationship, people are vulnerable, nervous, passionate, and they put all their effort into being their 'best self.'
Many people know the early days of a relationship as 'the honeymoon period,' but for some, the honeymoon is clouded out by doubt and anxiety. When people are trying to be impressive, it is easy to be fake.
While some boyfriends share valid stories of what they dislike after the first three months of a relationship, other anecdotes could incite an eye roll or two. Everyone can agree they've struggled with trust in a new relationship or been afraid of meeting the parents. But can you really abhor someone for eating salad? As one boyfriend explains, it is very possible.
From awkward first impressions to indelicate insecurities, the first three months of a relationship are filled with trails and tribulations, and not everyone passes the 'three-month milestone' as a winner.
Read what twenty guys hated after the first three months of a relationship and be surprised... it's anyone's guess if their love will last or be lost forever.
20 Everything Still Feels So Fake
When you're trying to be impressive, are you really being your authentic self? When asked about what he dislikes in relationships after three months, one guy said "think about it: we're both trying to impress each other, which means trying to be our best 100% of the time. I feel like Ken, and I know she doesn't want to be Barbie. I still feel stiff. I don't feel comfortable."
If you're three months deep into a relationship and you feel like you're playing pretend, you are not compatible. The relationship won't last unless you are honest about who you are.
19 I Always Feel Anxious Around Her
We value love, but we should value our mental health more. Men need to discuss their mental wellbeing too! A relationship can reflect the state of your mental health, which one anonymous guy discovered.
"The moment I started dating this girl, I began doubting myself. The way she looks at me gives me anxiety. Am I good enough? What is she hiding from me? What if her family [dislikes] me? I'm three months in and I still feel worried all the time." If you want this to be a healthy relationship, tell her how you're feeling! The stress is all in your head.
18 Meeting Her New Friends Is A Constant Stress In My Life
"First of all, she has too many friends. Every time we go out, I meet someone new, which is exhausting. I feel like a prized pooch being showcased in front of the judges. I want to impress them, but I'm only just getting to know this girl," one guy answered when asked what he really disliked about his new leading lady (and their relationship).
If a girl is showing you off to her friends, it's a good sign—she thinks you're a keeper. And it's good that she's a social butterfly! While meeting new people can be tiresome, hating it might be extreme.
17 I Can See Her Over Analyzing Everything I Say
Want to see what a red flag looks like? "I don't like it when girls are insecure. I understand the 'getting to know you' period can be difficult, but she over analyzes everything I say. She makes me feel like a poorly written book report, and I can see how judgmental she is by the way she looks at me. She can't trust me because she's insecure," one guy said about the first three months of a relationship.
While there's a lot to unpack in his answer, he should be sympathetic to her insecurities. The world teaches women to be insecure... and you are not helping!
16 She Could Be Hiding Anything From Me
Everyone has hidden something from their partners. "I want to know what she's hiding. I'm more curious than ever when it comes to her flaws. Why did her ex break up with her? I want to get all the [details] out in the open now before I'm in too deep," was one startling response.
Being paranoid about what your partner is hiding says more about you than them. Maybe you're insecure because of past relationships, or maybe you're hiding something dark yourself, but taking it out on your partner this early in a relationship will definitely ruin whatever romance there was.
15 I Made A Bad First Impression And She Still Holds It Against Me
Is putting your foot in your mouth when you're trying to be clever your specialty? I know it's mine, but one boyfriend is still sour about it.
He says "A few weeks into making it official, we went out for dinner with her parents. Both of her parents are successful writers and they were touting the importance of being well read. I told them I thought reading was overrated. I have no idea why I said it, but it's been months and she still holds it against me." Yikes... maybe he should read up on how to make better first impressions?
14 My Family Fell In Love With Her Too Fast
Not everyone enters a relationship with similar expectations, and here's a tragic case of poor communication. "I started dating this girl without intending it to be serious. I stupidly asked her to be my plus one at my cousin's wedding a few weeks in, and my parents fell in love with her. All they do is talk about how nice she is, and I never wanted to be with her seriously. I'm three months in and can't get out," one sorry fellow reported.
It sounds like this girl is too good for you, anyways. She'll come to her senses and dump you in no time!
13 I Already Feel Pressured By Our Future
When do you start planning for the future? This guy dislikes how soon it happened. "We've barely been together three months, and she's already hinting towards moving in together. She thinks she's subtle, but she isn't. I don't like how relationships always go down this road."
Isn't that the point of a 'relationship?' To be together for the foreseeable future, and plan for it together? Someone missed the memo on how relationships work. I understand feeling pressured by love moving too fast, but if you communicate clearly, these 'problems' could be avoided. And three months is enough time to know whether you want to keep seeing someone and make it "official."
12 I Still Don't Feel Like I Fully Trust Her
When love has hurt you in the past, trust builds slowly. The process is time consuming and painful. One boyfriend says "We might be together, but the initial trust isn't there. I don't know if it will ever be. I don't like how there are still some things I can't say to her. I feel like the trust should be there, but at the same time I'm walking on eggshells."
Everyone knows the heartache of having your trust betrayed. The hurt scars you for life! Is that why this boyfriend is struggling with trust three months in? How soon do you trust someone in a new relationship?
11 I'm Exhausted From Trying To Impress Someone Who's Impossible To Impress
"I'm great at being myself, but being myself is difficult in a new relationship. You're still trying to impress them. The thing is, she's impossible to impress. I'm trying so hard to be better than her ex-boyfriends, but I feel like she compares me to them. I never feel appreciated, I never feel like I wow her," one partner said.
If these problems are already surfacing in a new relationship, it's a red flag. Be wary of moving forward, and do some self-reflection. Is some of the paranoia in your own head? This guy might need a confidence boost, but it'll have to come from within.
10 I Feel Like I Could Still Be Dumped Without An Explanation
"New relationships have that probationary period like jobs do. Within the first three months, I can be dumped for no reason without an explanation. The thing is, it's been three months, and I'm still worried she might ghost me any day now. When do relationships get comfy?" one boyfriend fretted.
As a girl, I can confirm we have our probationary period—it's for our own good because not all boys are angels. Keep the good behavior up and you should feel settled in once she's convinced you're a good guy! It's up to you to instill trust in her, so don't put all the pressure on your lady to seal the deal.
9 Her Friends And Family Are Too Judgmental
"We both had different upbringings, but I never thought it would be an issue until I met her people. Her friends, her family. They all look down on me. They've made me self conscious about what I wear, how I talk. I don't know how much more of them I can take. I don't know if it's worth it," said one sad sap.
If they are treating you poorly, there's no way she could be oblivious to it. If a girl really cares for someone, she'll be happy to talk to her friends and family about how they treat her boyfriend.
8 Dating Her Feels Like Too Much Effort
"There is one thing I dislike about every relationship—how much effort they take. I always think about getting into a relationship then regret it once I'm trapped. It isn't specifically my girlfriend now, it is every woman I have ever dated. After a few months, dating her feels like too much effort," said one boyfriend.
In unison, every self-respecting girl reading this will say... stop wasting her time. A girl is worth every last ounce of your effort, and if you're not willing to provide that for her, step aside. Ariana definitely said it best when it comes to wishy-washy BFs: thank you, next!
7 I Don't Like How Fast The Time Is Going By
If you needed your faith restored in men, look no further. Sure, for every angel there are ten devils, but look at what this cupid had to say about his relationship: "I've never felt more in love and I feel like it's going by too fast. I know it's early in the relationship but she's the one. I'm just worried I won't have enough time with her. I try to cherish every moment with her but I'm scared I'm not appreciating her enough."
You know it is love when the only thing you dislike is the essence of fleeting time. This guy has definitely given me heart eyes.
6 I Don't Like Not Being Able To See Her Every Moment Of The Day
We found ourselves another angel! Look away if you're not a fan of sappy moments. This boyfriend said "It was about the three-month mark when I began hating the time we spent apart. When she was at work, all I could think about was her and waiting for her to come home. There is no better feeling than looking at her smile—that's why she's the background on my phone."
Cute! (Creepy?) Overall, the sentiment in what he dislikes after three months in a relationship is sweet, but it sounds like he needs a hobby to keep himself busy when his lovely lady isn't around.
5 She Said I Love You Too Fast
When you opened this list, you knew this would be on here. Saying 'I love you' too soon is an embarrassing mistake, and this boyfriend waited no time to gripe about it.
"We were barely committed to each other and she started saying 'I love you'. It was awkward for a while because I ignored her when she said it, but I started to feel guilty, so I finally said it back. I don't love her yet. Now the relationship feels fake." If you weren't ready to say it, you should not have said it, no matter how high you felt the stakes were!
4 She Criticizes My Sense Of Humor Now
Most of the time, boys are not funny, unless we think they're cute. This boyfriend found that out the hard way. "What I dislike most about the first three months of our relationship is how fast things changed. When we started dating, she laughed at everything I said. Now she's always pointing out when I'm not funny. She says my jokes are rude and gets mad at me about them," this bad joker said.
She doesn't think you're cute anymore! And it is not cool for jokes to be rude, so maybe you should listen to her. It sounds like she could teach you a life lesson or two.
3 I Don't Like That She Only Orders Salads At Restaurants
When you ask your boyfriend a question, he's bound to say something stupid eventually. Are you ready to raise your eyebrows? "I don't like that she only orders salads at restaurants. I'm paying for the bill, you can order something filling. Stuff your face with a cheeseburger. Let me see you be gross. She thinks it's feminine to eat salads and I don't like it," this salad-hater said.
First of all, salads are not feminine. Second, maybe she cares a lot about her health or the environment. This is a petty thing to complain about a relationship, especially at the three-month mark.
2 I Still Haven't Met Her Male Best Friend
"She talks a lot about her best friend, Alex. There are pictures of them all over social media. But we've been dating for months and I still haven't met him. She never asks me to tag along when they hang out. It makes me nervous. I should be friends with her friends, right?"
Jealousy is unbecoming, especially early in a relationship. While having mutual friends in a relationship is important, she can introduce you to them on her own time. The fact that her best friend is male isn't the problem... insecurity is. Unless, of course, there are other worrisome signs cropping up with this "Alex."
1 My Friends Say I Spend Too Much Time With Her
Relationships have a way of weeding out the real friends from the fake ones. This boyfriend has made that discovery. "The relationship is going great, but it's hurting my friendships. Instead of hanging out with the boys every day I want to be with her, and my friends have noticed. They're always texting me passive-aggressive complaints about spending time with her instead of them. It sucks," he says.
It's natural to spend less time with your friends when you enter a relationship. It can be hard prioritizing both friends and girlfriends, but your bros should be more understanding! Good luck tackling the issue with them, though, especially if they're single!