We can probably all agree that dating is pretty confusing, and that's mostly because we make assumptions about the opposite sex that just aren't true at all. We assume that guys will think that we're clingy if we want to hang out with them a lot, or that they won't be as emotional and sensitive as we want them to be. When we meet a good guy and start dating him, we realize that we had guys all wrong, and that they think a lot more like us than we ever could have imagined. We really all want the same thing: love and a mature relationship.
We love hearing what guys really think about us and we always learn so much when we go straight to the source. This is especially true when it comes to our dating behaviors. After all, unless we hear from a guy that he's just not into what we're doing or how we're treating him, we'll never really know if it's good or bad. We're here to help! We rounded up confessions from guys so we can change our bad dating behaviors and start seeing more success in our lives. And we all want that, right? Who doesn't?!
Check out these confessions from 15 guys about the things that we do that they just hate!
15 "Playing 2 guys against each other thinking it will result in some romantic over the top gesture by one of them, when in reality it creates drama."
We have the lovely world of Reddit to thank for this confession. This guy is talking about something that seems straight out of a romantic comedy, but of course this does happen IRL, too, even if it sounds immature AF.
Drama is never a good thing. Okay, it's a good thing on The Real Housewives and on teen shows, but otherwise, it's pretty horrible. It makes sense that guys hate when we start a lot of drama in a dating situation. This is something that we should all remember. We're never going to really be able to force two cute guys to choose us. They're just going to get sick and tired of the drama and find someone else. It will honestly never go the way that we expect it to. Let's just agree never to do this.
14 "Acting uninterested when they're actually interested."
When did we all decide that we had to act like we don't care about the person that we care so much about?! It's honestly one of the worst millennial dating behaviors.
If we like a guy, our go-to move is to pretend that we're not into him at all. We don't want to be the one who shows any interest at all, whether that's texting first or even asking him to hang out. The problem, of course, is that if we don't show that we like someone, they're going to assume that we don't. And then nothing will ever happen. Sigh. This happens way too often. It's great to know that guys hate it when we play hard to get. We should just be brave and admit when we've got a major crush. Who knows?! It just might lead to true love.
13 "Being waaaay too obviously interested. Just treat a guy like he's a human and you're interested, but not like you can't believe this is happening to you."
Oh man. This is when we say that guys are so confusing, we can't even. First we hear that guys hate when we don't act like we like them... and now we're hearing that they don't like it when we act like we're TOO interested. Wait, what?!
We do kind of understand what this guy, who confessed this on Reddit, means. We don't want to seem desperate and we don't want to act like this is the only guy who could ever possibly like us. That's just not an attractive look. Of course, when we fall for a guy and it's going super well, we really can't believe it's happening to us. But we get it. There's a fine line between full-on desperation and playing hard to get, and we just have to find the right balance. Oh, dating. It's always so much work.
12 "Most dating mistakes fall into one of two categories. Entitlement and desperation. The entitled girl believes that the guy should do all the work... The desperate girl believes that they should do all the work."
Now we have to worry about seeming entitled or seeming desperate. Thanks a lot...
According to this guy's post in the same thread on Reddit, we shouldn't make the guy do everything, but we shouldn't do everything, either. This actually makes a ton of sense and is basically the best dating advice ever. Things need to be 100 percent equal in a relationship. We can't be the ones texting all the time or suggesting plans. The guy needs to do some work, too. But he can't do it all, either, or it makes it seem like we're super lazy or like we don't even care about him. It's another perfect balance that we have to strike. Thankfully, when we meet the right person, this just happens naturally and feels so easy.
11 "Talking about exes on dates."
Yup. Preaching to the choir, guy who posted on Reddit. Seriously.
Sure, eventually we need to share our dating history with the guy that we've just started a relationship with, but that shouldn't happen for a while. It definitely shouldn't happen on the first, second, or third date (and maybe not for the next few, either). We're glad to hear that guys hate this because we would totally freak out if a guy mentioned his ex-girlfriend on a first date. Yeah, if we really liked him we might overlook it because people get nervous and these things happen, but it's just not really an ideal scenario. We just want the guy to focus on us and our new relationship, not on the past. And we definitely don't want to think about the losers from our past, either. Not when we're so happy with the great new guy in our life.
10 "With online dating constant one word responses."
It's kind of hilarious that a guy confessed this on Reddit because, let's face it, this is a complaint that we have about guys. It's nice to know that this is a problem that we all face.
Well, it's annoying AF to think about this, but it's still kind of comforting. It's really terrible to be chatting with someone on a dating app or dating website and have them answer with one words. We assume that means that they're not interested... which is kind of weird since it's not like we've even met in person or gone on a date yet. How do they even know if they've interested yet?! Oh, online dating. It's definitely a confusing thing. Since all we have to go on is the chat that we've having, we have to assume that they don't want to go out with us and move on. It's just funny to think that guys get annoyed by this, too.
9 "Get angry, like 'actually angry'-angry, because you’d rather not let her have your password(s) to your email, reddit, etc."
Thought Catalog is another wealth of information about how guys really feel about us. According to this guy, we should never get mad at our boyfriend because we want his passwords and he doesn't think it's a good idea.
Well, duh. Asking for someone's passwords is a serious invasion of privacy. It's the worst thing that we could possibly ask our boyfriend. We know that a lot of girls do this and do get mad, and it honestly baffles our minds.Why would we even need this? We don't need to check his email or his text messages or anything like that. That's his online world. We don't want him to have our passwords, either. Some things need to be kept private and this is just no way to have a real relationship. We definitely agree with this guy. Solid advice.
8 "First date: OMG Our kids will be so cuteeeee."
Another Thought Catalog gem. It's all too tempting to picture our wedding day on a first date and even think that a guy would make a great dad. Yeah, we get that's totally crazy and we know that it's way too soon, but it's sometimes hard to stop those types of hopeless romantic thoughts.
It's good to know that guys hate this and that we should absolutely stop. There's nothing worse than scaring someone away with how into them we are. We should definitely keep this stuff to ourselves. After all, if a guy told us that we would make adorable babies together and we were only a first date, we would freak out and tell our friends that he was nuts and never talk to him again. So it totally works both ways.
7 "Refusing to tell me when things are bothering her. Look, I'm not stupid. I can tell when something has you pissed off or upset."
We could say the same thing about guys, so this is another bad dating behavior that goes both ways. Thanks to Reddit, we know now that we should definitely tell the guy that we're dating when we're upset about something. Even if we think that it's a bad idea, it's always going to be a good idea. Silence doesn't help anyone.
If we're honestly upset and we're not talking to our boyfriend about it, it's usually because we're afraid of what he's going to say or think. This might speak to a deeper issue within our relationship that we need to deal with. Or maybe we just need to bond a bit more and build up our emotional intimacy. Chances are, he wants to hear what we have to say and how we're feeling, and he wants to make it all better. Awwww.
6 "Being overly pessimistic. My ex, right from the start would say daily, 'I'm just waiting for you to get sick of me,' as if by accepting the inevitable and stating it constantly she'd be ready when it happened."
Ugh. Even just reading this Reddit confession gives us the serious creeps. We would hate if a guy did this to us so we can only imagine how much it sucks to be on the receiving end of it.
Basically, we can't be that negative when we're in a relationship with someone. We have to have a certain amount of confidence. We have to believe that they're with us for a reason and that things are going to work out. If we're always waiting for them to dump us, then we clearly have some issues and these are things that we have to work on. We can't expect our partner to deal with that or even be willing to stick around. It's kind of surprising that people even do this, but we believe it, of course, since it does happen.
5 "Maybe I've just noticed this with younger women, but the inability to truly relax, be comfortable, be yourself."
This guy's Reddit post is all about confidence and self-esteem. If we're confident, then we seem much more attractive, and we feel the same way about guys. So we can totally see how insecure girls would be annoying AF to be around, let alone date and be in a relationship with.
It makes sense that we would be pretty nervous about going on a first date. This is even truer if we already know the guy or have had a crush on him since forever. First dates are typically pretty make-it-or-break-it situations. Really bad ones are just the worst. But if we're ourselves, we can't screw up. How could we?! We're just showing this guy who we really are and that's what he wants to see. We need to remember this for sure.
4 "Jealousy. I have female friends, but I'm with you. I'm not going to pitch a fit about your male friends, don't give me crap about my female ones."
Fair. Totally fair. We hate to admit that we've probably all been green-eyed monsters about a guy's female friends at least once in our lives.
Hopefully we don't act this way anymore and we did this when we were younger. Right?! We should have lived and learned by now. The only way to be in a mature, adult relationship is to stop getting jealous of things that don't matter at all. And if our BF has some friends who are girls, it honestly means nothing at all. The same thing is true if we have guy friends. We really can't care. If we care, it proves that we don't trust him and that something is definitely up, and then we have to deal with. But otherwise, we need to be cool.
3 "Getting upset when we don't immediately respond to your text messages, but take an hour to respond."
Texting is probably our least favorite thing about dating. It's just always so confusing and always seems so complicated. Of course, it's really not as bad as we make it out to be, and this guy's Reddit confession proves it.
The truth is that we can't get mad at a guy for not texting us bad quickly or not texting us at all... and then turn around and do the exact same thing to him. That's just bad form. Sure, we don't always have our phones on us, and we might be focusing on something at work and forget to answer. Guys have a problem with how hypocritical we can be about this very important dating issue. We totally get it. Let's agree right here, right now, not to do this. Okay?!
2 "Say nothing about what you want. Get mad at the guy when he can't interpret your silence."
Yup. We've all done this. We might not want to admit it and we might want to pretend that we can't relate to this guy's Reddit post at all, but of course we can.
It's a girl thing. We all think that a guy can read our mind. More than that, we think that he SHOULD read our mind. He loves us, right? So why can't he see into our brains and figure it out? The problem is that he just can't. He's not a psychic and he needs us to tell him what's going on. It's never going to go well for us if we act like our boyfriend needs to be a mind reader. We should just realize that right now and stop doing this. The guys in our lives will definitely thank us.
1 "For the love of God, DO NOT try to change him. Some women do this and then they're all like 'he's not the same guy I started seeing/got engaged to/married.'"
We all know that we can't change a guy. We know this... but it doesn't mean that we haven't tried in the past. Or that we're not currently trying to change the guy that we're seeing.
Okay, okay, we get it, men of Reddit. We know that we have to accept a guy as he is. Of course, there are times when we really can't and when we know that someone is all wrong for us. If a guy is a total jerk and treats us badly, it's not like we're going to say that's okay and keep dating him. We definitely have to get out. But otherwise, as long as a guy is a good person and treats us the way that we deserve, we shouldn't really care if he likes sports or is a messy eater or whatever else. And it totally goes both ways. He has to love us for who we are, too.