Flirting is fun! It's one of the most exciting phases of getting to know someone, and it can lead to a loving, long-term relationship. But let's be real, we obviously don't flirt just for the fun of it, or to boost our ego. Most of us do it in hopes of winning the attention and, eventually, the heart of someone we have our sights on.
Flirting can also get extremely frustrating. We spend huge amounts of time and energy on it, and when it doesn't go the way we were hoping, it's awful. Of course, not everyone is compatible or wants the same things you do, but there are many instances when you're probably driving people away because you made a mistake.
It's hard to figure out exactly what happened to throw someone off. Was something you did? Something you said? Well, in case you've been wondering, let's go through 10 flirting mistakes to avoid at all costs, and make sure you finally land the relationship of your dreams!
When you're flirting with someone, you are still in that phase where you are testing the waters. You're getting to know the person, and they're getting to know you. Not every person you flirt with is Prince Charming, and this early on you want to keep things light and casual.
If you're coming out too strongly, sharing details about your life that only your closest family and friends know about is weird. You just met this person, why are you already sharing deep, personal stuff about you? Not only will you drive them away, more often than not you'll end up regretting having shared so much with someone who doesn't mean anything to you.
Alright, we need to talk about this. Obviously, when you're flirting with someone, you want them to think you're perfect and, more specifically, perfect for them. It's only natural that we want to be liked, and this is even truer when we're trying to win over someone.
But if in an early phase you start coming up with little white lies that will make you seem more interesting, or that have something to do with his interests, you'll end up stuck in a route you'll find it hard to get out of in the future. Plus, you want people to like you for who you are, not a fabricated version o yourself—as cliché as it may seem.
Have you ever heard the experience "it takes two to tango"? That's because relationships, no matter what kind, always involve two people putting a similar level of effort into it. And when it comes to flirting, remember that the point is getting to know each other.
Don't come off as so self-absorbed that you end up only talking about yourself for hours on end. No matter how good of a person or listener the other person is, chances are, they'll never want to see you again. You should look to know as much about them as they know about you, and not turn every instance into your own personal talk show.
It was kind of cute when you were fourteen, it's not cute now. By all means, do laugh when you're entertained! People love when you laugh at their jokes, it makes them feel good and accepted. This isn't at all an encouragement to remaining poker-faced the whole time!
But don't giggle like a schoolgirl every 5 minutes. Not everything the other person says is funny, so don't encourage them to keep up with some of the terrible jokes that are bound to happen. Plus, you don't want to look hysterical by losing it at everything they say—it makes it seem like you have no personality beyond a creepy laughing machine.
It's super cool to look powerful and slightly unbothered. Being a little sassy is actually very sexy. Being outright mean is just wrong. Think about it for a second—if someone you're flirting with would say mean and insensitive things to you, would you stay or get the hell out as soon as possible?
We know you're probably only doing this because you've been taught that showing disdain is a sign that someone likes you. This is 100% wrong, people won't assume you're into them because you're not nice. They'll just think you're rude, and move on to someone who knows how to pleasant and polite.
Obviously, you never want to come off super strong and behave towards the person you're flirting with as if they are meant to marry you and have babies with you. That's up there with oversharing and, honestly, just plain creepy.
However, you also don't want to do the complete opposite. This notion that pretending to be uninterested in someone, as if you're doing them a favor by talking to them, in the hopes that will make them extra motivated to conquer you, is wrong. Why would you pretend you're not interested when you very obviously are? Keep up the facade too long, and they'll find someone who is.
Bad, bad, bad, we cannot stress how bad it is to bring up your ex when you're talking to someone new. What's the point? If you bring them up, it's because you'll either say horrible things about them or praise them beyond belief.
In either case, we can guarantee the person on the other end will run for the hills. Bringing up past relationships either shows you are not, and will not, be over them, or that there's something wrong with you for badmouthing them to someone who's not even that close to you yet. There are a lot of things you can talk about—choose any of them over your ex.
Confidence is attractive, and self-love is essential. Both these points are pillars you need to drill into your head, so if you haven't, we suggest you start right about now. However, let's be very clear when we distinguish confidence and cockiness.
Cockiness is terrible. Acting like you're full of yourself is not sexy, it doesn't show you're strong or independent, it just shows you are obnoxious. On the same note, bragging about all of the people who are interested in you is not a good move. Stay humble; truly confident people don't feel the need to constantly scream how good they are. More often than not, it shows the opposite.
21Look, we get it. Social media provides a sort of cover that didn't exist before, the anonymity that invites expression without fear, and without consequences. You feel safe when there's a screen between you and another person, which means you feel freer than you would in real life.
But keep in mind that if you haven't met this person in real life, you will eventually. And if you are a completely different person, things won't turn out as well as you'd wish. It's a turn-off when someone flirts like a beast online, and barely says a word when you're face to face. Be as genuine as possible, in all channels of communication.
This usually isn't a good move in relationships, and it's definitely not a good one when you're flirting with someone. This person is relatively new in your life, and you're still taking the first steps into becoming a potential couple. You want to be the best you can possibly be, correct?
If you're on a date with them and start flirting with other people around, just to seem more desirable and unattainable, you're making a huge mistake. Of all the things you can do to drive someone away, this is probably the easiest. Don't do it, especially if you really like the person in question!