If you’re feeling tempted to snoop through your partner’s internet search history, you’re not alone. A study conducted by antivirus software company Avast found that one in four women and one in five men admit to snooping. Before you succumb to the temptation, consider that looking through your partner’s internet search history is always fraught with danger.
You’ll not only feel guilty at having gone through their private phone without their permission, but you might not expect to find something really bad.
If you discover something that you’re unhappy about and didn’t see coming, such as that your partner is thinking of straying or is making future plans without you, it can cause you a lot of stress. It also makes it difficult for you to communicate about your discovery to your partner.
In order to do begin the conversation, you’ll first have to ‘fess up that you snooped through their phone, which turns you into the bad guy! With these important considerations in mind, here are 21 internet search questions that are red flags for your relationship. If you’ve chosen to spy and found these on your partner’s phone, proceed with caution because they have the power to change your relationship forever.
21 "How To Ask Your Girlfriend To Meet All Your Needs"
There you were, thinking that your relationship was in a good place, only to discover that your partner’s feeling unsatisfied. It can really bring you back down to earth and put a dent in your confidence, making you worry about which of your partner’s needs you haven’t been fulfilling. This can lead to other problems, such as anxiety and low self-esteem.
On a larger scale, this question points to a lack of healthy communication in your relationship – why can’t your partner tell you himself that he feels you’re not meeting his needs, whether they’re physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual? And of course, maybe the feeling is mutual. Perhaps you have your own relationship needs that aren’t being met that you’re not telling your partner about.
This secrecy could be because there’s no safe, comfortable way to communicate in your relationship, which is a huge problem.
Seeing this question in your partner’s browsing history points to an unsatisfactory relationship for your partner (and perhaps you), but it also boils down to a lack of communication that can be silently destroying your relationship. Without healthy, regular communication, your relationship will lack many other important things it requires to thrive in the long run, such as honesty, openness, and trust.
20 "How To Sneak Around And Not Get Caught"
Your partner is clearly trying to find a way to date other people while still keeping your relationship going. That’s totally unfair to you! As pointed out in Psychology Today, one of the reasons why getting played is so painful is because being in a monogamous relationship means that you have the right not to be betrayed and that right remains even if you’re going through a difficult patch in your relationship.
There’s never a good enough reason for straying, even if the relationship is fizzling out. Finding out that your partner wants to have secret rendezvous while still dating you is an even bigger violation because you wouldn’t have known about his intentions if you hadn’t snooped through his internet search history.
He’s lying to you and you can’t help but wonder what else he’s lied about. Moving forward, every time your partner says he’s going out somewhere or busy with lots of work, you’re probably going to think that he’s lying to you so that he can sneak around with some other woman – and he might just be doing that while thinking he can get away with it. This is a situation in which no one deserves to find themselves.
19 "How Do You Know If You're Gay?"
If your partner is in a relationship with you, why would he need to find out how one should figure out if they’re gay? Before you immediately assume that your partner’s in the closet, there are other possible reasons for this question. He might just be curious about what makes someone gay, or he might be asking the question because he suspects that one of his friends is gay.
If you have other reasons to believe that he could be gay, then this question is more of a red flag. While there’s obviously nothing wrong with being gay, there is a problem with trying to cultivate a relationship with someone who thinks they might have an identity or orientation that clashes with yours.
It’s troubling to think that your partner might not be happy or satisfied with you but not have the courage to end the relationship, or continue it but have doubts.
To get to the bottom of things, it can be good to try to find out if there’s anything to worry about by paying attention to the rest of his life as well as to how he behaves towards you. It might also be good to chat with him about his thoughts on the whole thing.
18 "How To Get In The Mood For A Romantic Evening"
This is another question that could spell trouble for your relationship, but it depends on the current state of your relationship. If your relationship is regularly intimate and brings you both happiness, this question isn’t such a point of concern. It could just mean that your partner’s trying to shake things up in your love life, try new things to keep the spark alive and be more creative.
However, if you’ve been going through a dry spell or difficult time with your partner and you see this question in his internet search history, it could mean something more negative. Maybe he’s not sure how to be romantic with you anymore or he’s battling to be intimate with you. These are not good, especially if you consider that some couples start to treat each other more like roommates than romantic partners.
According to The Good Men Project, this can take the form of a lack of affection and intimacy, incompatibility, or feeling like you’re settling for an unsatisfying relationship. Whether or not you think that applies to you and your partner, this question is definitely a sign that you need to prick your ears up and pay more attention to how you and your partner relate to each other.
17 "What's The Most Romantic Hotel To Book Tonight?"
If this question makes you ask, “What?” out loud, it’s probably because you know that you and your partner didn’t have any plans to spend time together tonight. That means one thing and one thing only: he’s going to meet someone else at a hotel for a romantic evening.
It’s upsetting to think that he’s sneaking around on you but why else would he need to search for romantic hotels?
There’s always the chance that he’s planning an exciting surprise for you, but if he’s not the type to surprise you, he knows you wouldn’t want to go to a hotel, and/or he hasn’t even made sure that you’re free to see him tonight, those all point to the sad reality that your partner’s up to something.
As mentioned on ABC News, contrary to popular belief, many people who stray want to have romance. This means they’re not going to meet up for a night at a dodgy hotel, but one that’s more classy and special. This also rings true if the man wants to impress the woman he’s meeting. He’s going to take time to choose the right location that she’ll enjoy.
16 "How To Hide Your Timeline"
If your partner is searching for tips on how to hide his social media timeline, it makes you wonder why he would need to do that. He’s clearly hiding something and it could be that he doesn’t want you to see some posts or comments on his pages. He might be trying to hide messages from other women or from seedy friends that he worried could reveal his deepest secrets to you.
Even if he’s not keen to hide any social media information from you, he might not want other people to view things about him. But why? What does he share on social media that he can’t be open about? Maybe his offline and online persona are different, and he doesn’t want people to see the real him. Some people hide certain parts of their timeline, such as their list of friends, while others hide photo albums from certain prying eyes.
It’s always interesting to ask why. Although you might not be able to get an answer, it could be a good idea to check how visible your partner’s social media accounts really are to you to be sure that he’s not trying to hide parts of his life from you.
15 "Why Is My Girlfriend Moody All The Time?"
This question probably feels insulting to you, and you have every right to be upset about it. If your boyfriend was concerned about your so-called moodiness, he would speak to you about it and try to find out if something was wrong. Perhaps you’ve been experiencing changes in your mood because of immense stress, a medical condition, or some other life situation.
There are many things that can affect your mood and cause it to plummet. However, instead of showing you he cares by asking you directly and showing you his support, your boyfriend asks the internet what could be causing you to be moody. This makes it feel quite impersonal. It’s even more insulting if your boyfriend is the reason why you feel irritable or experience dramatic changes in your mood from one minute to the next.
By searching for this question online, it’s like your boyfriend’s basically making the assumption that he doesn’t think he could have anything to do with how you feel.
At the very least, he could have asked the question, “How can I help my moody girlfriend feel better?” It would’ve shown you that he cares instead of making you feel like he’s judging you for being “moody.”
14 "What Are Available Jobs In [Insert Country You Didn't Know He Was Interested In Immigrating To]?"
If your boyfriend’s searching for full-time or part-time jobs in a totally different country to where you both live, it’s troubling. He seems to have interest in moving someplace different and starting a brand new life. You’re probably wondering things like, what about you and where do you fit into his plans?
If your boyfriend hasn’t even told you about these dreams he has, then it’s like he’s Photoshopped you out of his future plans completely. If you’re in a long-term, committed relationship, you should know about your partner’s future plans. You should also feel that you’re both focused on the same future path, instead of feeling like your partner isn’t including you in his life. It’s also not ridiculous to assume that your partner should consult with you about big decisions such as wanting to live somewhere else or changing jobs, especially if you live together.
Finding this question in your boyfriend’s internet search history is a stressful indicator that something’s wrong in your relationship. When someone stops talking about the future with their partner, it’s often a sign that they’re not as committed as they should be to the relationship – or they don’t see a future for it.
13 "How To Hide iPhone Messages"
Technology offers many ways to be discreet, and one of these is to hide iPhone messages so that other people can’t see them. This usually means that if the iPhone is somewhere public, people who glance at the phone won’t be able to see any message notifications. If your boyfriend is searching for ways to hide text messages on his iPhone, he could be hiding all messages and their notifications, or only ones sent from certain people.
Although everyone has the right to keep their communication private, if they’re going to such great lengths to hide specific communications from view on their phone, then there could be a concerning reason for it. Perhaps your boyfriend’s worried that you’ll see many notifications from another woman on his phone and jump to conclusions, or he’s really up to no good with someone else and doesn’t want you to know.
Maybe he’s not being unfaithful, but he still has other things he doesn’t want you to see about his life. Hmm. The most disturbing thing about this is that he feels he can’t be himself. It makes you feel unsettled in the relationship because he’s not being honest and open. That doesn't make for a healthy relationship.
12 "How To Become A Vampire"
You might laugh at this question at first because it seems quite absurd, but go on and search for this question yourself on the internet. You’ll be surprised to find that some people actually want to become vampires because the lifestyle interests them. There are many ways in which people attempt to become real-life vampires. These include doing spells, finding a vampire mentor, as well as some more concerning methods, such as exchanging vampire blood. Oh dear.
At the very least, if your boyfriend’s asking this question in a serious way, it’s troubling because he might think that there are real-life vampires around. And he’s not alone. According to an article on Discover, some researchers believe vampires exist. Even though they don’t live forever, they do live nocturnal lives. They might not suck on people’s blood, but they draw psychic energy from them. This basically means that if someone’s stealing energy from you, you’ll be left drained and feeling like they’re pretty toxic.
If you’ve ever been around someone who makes you feel exhausted after being with them, you’re probably dealing with an energy vampire. Yikes. Whether your boyfriend wants to become a traditional blood-sucking vampire or an energy vampire, it’s disturbing.
11 "Why Don't Women Answer My Texts?"
This question is upsetting for two reasons. First, it means that your boyfriend is regularly texting other women without your knowledge. Second, these women are obviously not platonic friends otherwise he probably wouldn’t be so concerned about why they don’t answer him.
The question seems to point to something more romantic than friendship.
Maybe your boyfriend chats up other women and feels confused when he gets rejected by them, which has made him head onto the internet for some answers. But interestingly, you shouldn’t only feel upset that your boyfriend’s talking to other women. There’s a bigger issue at play here. You should be wondering why he's so upset about the fact that they aren't responding. Why is he so desperate for their attention?
Whatever the case, he's not only doing you wrong by texting them and placing any value on their response, but he's also potentially upsetting these other women with his pushiness, which tells you that he’s most definitely not as much of a catch as you initially thought.
10 "Can I Add My Girlfriend's Sister On Social Media?"
When you introduce your boyfriend to your family members, such as your sister, you want them to get along and enjoy each other’s company. But the last thing you want is for your boyfriend to immediately add your sister on his social media. It seems like he likes her a little too much. Is he desperately trying to be her friend to get into your family’s good books, or does he have a crush on her?
By asking the internet if he can add your sister as a friend on social media, he seems to want to make sure that he’s not doing anything wrong, but then why not ask you if it’s okay for him to be friends with her? He’s dating you, not your sister, so he shouldn’t be putting so much attention and energy into trying to find ways to become her friend on social media.
Seeing this question in his internet browsing history feels inappropriate like he’s overstepping a line. It could be that he’s trying too hard to be friendly with your family members, or that he’s crossing a relationship line by wanting to add other pretty women on social media even if they happen to be related to you. Either way, it leaves a bad feeling in your gut.
9 "How To Evade The DEA"
Either your boyfriend’s been watching too many repeat episodes of Breaking Bad, or he’s been up to something really bad. Find out if he’s writing a crime thriller and this internet search forms part of his book research.
If you know he’s not involved in something creative, you might have a real problem on your hands.
Trying to avoid the Drug Enforcement Administration implies that your boyfriend is involved with illegal substances and probably dangerous criminals. If he’s trying to run away from the federal agency then you have to wonder how deeply he’s got himself into trouble with the law. Whatever he’s up to, he could have a secret life of which you know nothing about, and maybe this is a sign that you shouldn’t hang around with him because he could drag you down into his serious problems.
Sooner or later, the law’s going to catch up with him and you probably don’t want to be around for that. One of the most upsetting things about discovering that your boyfriend’s been involved in illegal activity is that he’s not the person you thought he was, which makes you feel like your relationship has mostly been a lie.
8 "Does Farting Burn Calories?"
Farting is a normal bodily function. According to the Mirror, people fart an average of 14 times a day. If your boyfriend wants to fart to burn calories, he’ll probably be interested in finding ways to increase the number of farts he expels in a day. He might, for instance, want to eat more foods like dairy and certain vegetables that increase the amount of gas during digestion.
Sadly, because these foods are difficult to digest, they can lead to other symptoms, such as painful gas and bloating. Perhaps your boyfriend is searching this question because he heard a rumor that farting can burn calories. The rumor stated that being able to pass gas 52 times daily can burn a pound of body fat. That’s a lot of gas to try to expel and the rumor’s not true, as reported by Medical Daily.
Doing an internet search about farting to burn calories could mean your boyfriend’s finding some unreliable ways to lose weight, while it also could mean that he’s going to have much more gas. If he’s someone who has no problems with passing gas in front of his partner, this could be bad news for you.
7 "How To Escape The Friend Zone"
The “friend zone” is when people feel like they’re trapped in a platonic friendship with someone when they actually would prefer to be romantic with them. It usually occurs that the interested person has had their romantic advances rejected, leaving them in the friend zone.
Why would your boyfriend be stuck in the friend zone with someone else and need advice on how to escape from it?
This implies that he’s become interested in one of his female friends or someone new he met and was interested in. He might be questioning why she’s not interested in him romantically, or he might be tempted to make his feelings known. Even if there’s nothing romantic happening between the two of them, this question shows that the damage has probably already been done because your boyfriend’s got feelings for someone else.
Although feelings themselves don’t have to lead to anything, they are a cause for concern because they could point to relationship dissatisfaction. Whether or not he’s dealt with his feelings in such a way as not to hurt you, it’s painful to think that while your boyfriend’s telling you he likes or loves you, he’s secretly dreaming of someone else.
6 "How Often Do I Really Need To Shower?"
It should be obvious that you need to shower at least every other day to get rid of dirt and grime, but if your boyfriend feels the need to ask the internet this question, clearly he’s got some hygiene issues to deal with. He might not want to shower daily and he’s hoping that he can get away with cleaning himself less. It’s quite nasty.
There are some health problems that are linked to a lack of cleanliness, and if you’re getting up close and personal with your boyfriend these can affect you too. According to Bustle, skin conditions can get worse without proper hygiene and the accumulation of germs on the skin can end up entering the nose, mouth, or eyes. This can result in medical conditions such as flu or diarrhea.
It’s also worth remembering that if your boyfriend doesn’t eliminate sweat and dirt from his body on a daily basis, this can lead to issues such as bad body odor. This can make you not want to get too close to him, which can hamper your relationship. You’re probably hoping that he considered all these points during his internet search so that he doesn’t forget to hop into the shower at the end of the day.
5 "How Can I Get My Cat To Love Me?"
It seems like your boyfriend might be feeling a little desperate to get his furry friend to show him love. Cats are definitely not as needy as dogs, but just because they’re independent it doesn’t mean that they don’t show affection. They just do it in their own ways.
According to Catster, cats show love in many different ways, such as by slow-blinking at people and purring. Asking this question online makes your boyfriend come across as a bit of a needy person who craves feeling validated instead of being rejected. While feeling rejected by your cat might sound funny, this mindset and behavior could leak into his romantic relationship with you. He might want you to show him love and to make him more of a priority, which might mean that wouldn’t want to be with someone who’s too independent.
Seeing this internet search might also make you wonder if he’s a bit of a controlling, if not slightly weird, person.
He wants his cat to love him in the way he expects pets to show love, but love isn’t about “getting” or “persuading” people – or pets – to love you. It’s about letting love grow in its own natural way instead of smothering it.
4 "How To Take Good Pictures To Send To Women"
Taking pictures of ourselves and sending them to other people has become popular texting behavior, but if you’re in a relationship you shouldn’t be sending pictures of yourself to people other than your partner. By posting this question online, your boyfriend’s looking for tips on how best to take flattering pictures of himself to women, which means they’re probably on the riskier side.
Why else would he be sending pictures to women? It’s not like he’s going to be sending pictures of himself in a suit. He’s obviously interested in sharing personal pictures with people outside of your relationship because this fulfills a need he has. It could be that he’s interested in the women and wants to connect with them, he’s sending the pictures as a way to flirt with them, or he just wants to get an ego boost. For instance, maybe he wants to receive compliments from the other women which will make him feel good about himself.
If he’s in a relationship with you, that’s just as hurtful as if he’s flirting because he shouldn’t need that validation from other women. It’s inappropriate for him to send other women pictures of himself if he’s not available because maybe he’s hoping to pretend that he is.
3 "What To Do If You're Attracted To Your Boss"
It’s impossible to know who you’re going to feel attracted to. Sometimes a crush just happens, even when people are already in romantic relationships. These are normal, but they can become something more inappropriate. As outlined by Cosmopolitan, if that crush becomes something the person is acting on, such as by flirting, then it has crossed a line.
It still hurts to find out that your partner has a crush on someone else, though. It means that he finds her attractive in some way and that he might want to date her. If your boyfriend felt attracted to his boss, that wouldn’t have necessarily been alarming, but then he went and searched for advice on how to deal with it.
That right there shows that the attraction is becoming something more serious that he can’t control and he doesn’t know how to deal with it.
He might even be considering acting on his feelings of attraction, which means he could do you wrong or decide to end his relationship with you. What makes the situation even more dangerous is that his crush is his boss, someone he probably sees every day and spends a lot of time with, which can intensify his feelings of attraction and clearly your rightful feelings of insecurity.
2 "How Should You Approach Someone At A Bar?"
This is one of those things you find on your partner’s internet search history that can make you furious. He shouldn’t be trying to find ways to hit on women at bars, period. People don’t usually approach women at bars to talk about the weather – they do so to pick them up!
Knowing that your boyfriend is interested in finding the best ways to approach women means that he’s already comfortable with the idea of going ahead and meeting other women. This means that when he’s with you he’s playing the role of a committed boyfriend but the minute he walks out the door, he starts acting like a single guy. He can’t have the best of both worlds. He clearly has issues he needs to deal with, such as a fear or inability to commit to his romantic partner.
If he’s keeping his romantic options open by trying to meet other women, that’s unfair to you because it means he’s putting you on the backburner in his life. But as his girlfriend, you should be front and center. If you’re not your partner’s priority and he’s not showing you that he appreciates you, then the relationship is on the fritz.
1 "What Should I Buy My Girlfriend For Our Anniversary Tomorrow?"
The good thing about this question is that your boyfriend remembered it’s your anniversary. The bad thing is that he has to ask the internet what gift he should buy you.
If you’re celebrating an anniversary, that means you’ve been together for six months, or maybe even a year, but it could obviously be more. Whatever the case, it means that you've spent a significant amount of time together, so it’s a little disturbing that your boyfriend doesn’t know what he should give you. It’s not so much about the material gifts, but choosing something that will be special and unique to you. If he doesn’t know what gifts you would appreciate after dating for so many months, then that can also make you worry that he doesn’t really take the time to get to know you and what you’re about.
He shouldn’t have to ask complete strangers online what to buy his girlfriend!
And, if he’s tired of racking his brain about your gift, he would be better off just asking you what you’d like. That way, you get a gift you actually want and he feels good about not having to wing the situation. This option also allows for greater honesty in the relationship, while presenting you both with the opportunity to learn more about each other’s likes, dislikes, and wants.