Don't Say A Word: 21 Things Women Should Take To Their Grave (Forever)

It’s important to open up to those closest to us. It helps to build stronger connections, and if the details we’re carrying are very heavy, it can help us to offload…

Most people have probably read this or something similar somewhere before and they want to believe it but they're just not taking chances. We've been there.

Some truths are just better left unsaid! Women are notorious for being able to be tight-lipped about very deep matters, especially with their partners and, well, judging by the list we’ve compiled, we definitely understand why, so there’ll be no judging from our end.

Now, don’t get us wrong here. We’re certainly not advocating for people being dishonest in relationships. All we’re saying is that some things are just too hectic to share with anyone, even a partner, so we understand why a girl should definitely take them to the grave with her.

Here’s an example–some people might not think voting is important. Considering the current political climate, there are many people who might judge a person for deciding not to vote. Our partners might even look at us differently. So what do we do? Keep it to ourselves, of course!

Here are 21 other secrets a woman should definitely take to her grave.

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21 You Check On Your Ex To Make Yourself Feel Better

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We’re starting our list off with something we’re all guilty of doing on occasion–stalking our ex on social media. And even though this is something quite common, you could never tell your current boyfriend that you’ve just spent the past half an hour stalking your ex. Why? Because he’ll get the wrong idea.

He’ll probably think you’re still into him and sometimes, that’s not the case. Sometimes, you’re just wanting reassurance that you did the right thing by leaving him. If you’re having a bad day and then “accidentally” come across a couple of posts from your ex, you’ll start to feel a little better when you’re reminded that he’s not that great.

20 You Dislike Your Boyfriend's Mom


Alright, this is a sensitive one and should definitely be taken to the grave with you. Trust us on this one girl, you want to remain tight-lipped here. Why? Because no matter what you say, no matter what his mom says or how she treats you, it will be near impossible to get a guy to admit that “Hey, my mom’s attitude towards you really sucks.”

Nope. That boy will love his mama until the day he dies and if you really love him, it’s best to keep how you really feel about that woman to yourself–or at least share with your friends… but never with him!

19 You Regularly Drop Food And Eat It

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Many people follow the five-second rule. It was probably invented to just make us feel a little better about our gross habits. Yes, we said “gross” habits, because that’s exactly what it is. Girl, sorry to break it to you but the five-second rule is non-existent. As soon as that food hits the ground, all sorts of germs are all over it.

But still, you pick it up and put it in your mouth anyway, because that delicious slice of pizza or chocolate cake is irresistible, right? Well, we say–do whatever you want but please, don’t share this little thing with anyone.

18 You Sometimes Skip The Shower

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Don’t look the other way, we’re talking to you, young lady. We know that you sometimes skip the shower. How do we know? The stats told us! The Telegraph highlights that “four out of five women admit they don’t shower every day, and a third say they can go for three days without washing their body.”

Look, we’re not here to judge anyone on their personal hygiene but we definitely think that we don’t really need to say that much to convince you to keep this little tidbit between you and your shower. As human beings, we can be curious about a lot of things but this, we’re afraid, we just don’t want to know about this one.

17 You're Very Insecure

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Okay, after the lighthearted points we’ve just had, we thought it was important to add something truly deep. Something probably only you know about yourself. So, you may get up each morning and put on your best makeup, hop into your favorite pair of jeans and rock those amazing heels that make you look and feel amazing. But stripped down, you’re a little insecure. Nope, scratch that. You’re very insecure.

You compare yourself to others. You’re a little unsure about your talent. You’re insecure about how good you are at your job… the list goes on. We just want to say here–no one is perfect and you should definitely cut yourself some slack sometimes.

16 How Materialistic You Really Are

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It’s not that you don’t value important things. You really do. You want world peace. You want to end world hunger. You want all those good and wholesome things in life…including looking really good in those favorite pair of jeans, earning that big income so that you can get that amazing car, house, and afford all the beautiful bags that money can buy.

We’re living in a culture that’s lately very “woke” and showing this materialistic side of you makes you feel a little awkward, so you keep it to yourself–and we get it, girl. No judging from our end.

15 You Find Your Boyfriend's Bestie Or Brother Attractive

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Could you ever imagine telling your man that his bestie has really nice shoulders? How about the fact that you think his brother’s dimples are really cute? Yeah, not going to happen. Why? Because we all know how sensitive and insecure men can be sometimes.

He’ll probably think that you’re into them and that’s not entirely the case. You just think they’re good-looking, that’s all. But, of course, he’s not going to see it that way. Telling him this interesting piece of information will make him start to question your loyalty and you don’t want that. So you’ll just keep this information all to yourself.

14 You Find Your Boss Attractive


It may have something to do with that fact that he’s the boss and you might have a thing for men who are in charge. Or perhaps he’s really smart and you’re attracted to intelligent men. Whatever the case may be, you find your boss attractive and you’re not telling anyone this little tidbit, especially not your co-workers.

They might just think you’re weird or you’re “into older men” or worse–that you’re willing to do anything to climb the corporate ladder. People can be a little judgmental sometimes and you know it so you’ll just be quiet while your heart low-key flutters every time he steps into the office.

13 You've Betrayed A Best Friend Before

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Who would want to reveal this little piece of info? Yeah, no one. So if you’re a girl who’s betrayed her bestie before, better keep those lips tight girl. We get it, no one is perfect. We’ve all done some things that we deeply regret in our past. But still, betraying a bestie is one of the biggest no-nos in girl code.

You just don’t do it, right? But still, many people can tell you a story or two about a best friend who just crossed the line. If you’re this best friend, we don’t want to hear it. Sorry girl, this info is going to the grave with you.

12 You Compare Your Man To Your Ex

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So, this is a very common and understandable thing to do and lots of people are actually guilty of doing it. Say for instance you buy a new car—it is natural to compare it to the old car you had, right? This new one might have nice features that the old one didn’t have. There’s no harm in comparisons… except when we’re talking about exes.

Yeah, you want to keep this little detail away from your man. He doesn’t want to know he’s being compared to your first love… just like you probably don’t want to know that he’s comparing you to his childhood sweetheart.

11 You Secretly Pick Your Nose

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Okay, we’re honestly not quite sure whether we should laugh out loud or be a little disgusted about number 11 on our list. Perhaps both?

Many studies have shown that there are a whole lot of nose pickers out there. It is actually much more common that one might think. Psychology Today reveals that “More recently, two psychiatrists – Dr Chittaranjan Andrade and Dr B.S. Srihari (National Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences in Bangalore, India) – published a study on rhinotillexomania (obsessive nose-picking) among 200 adolescents in the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry. They reported that adolescents pick their noses about four times a day.”

We don’t care how common this might be. Keep this to yourself… actually, keep your hands to yourself as well!

10 You're In A Whole Lot Of Debt

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Studies have shown that there are a whole lot of young people who are currently in debt. The biggest culprits seem to be student loans and credit cards. Courant highlights that “Generation X and older millennials are the most debt-laden people in U.S. history. Back in 2014, researchers at the Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis looked at how debt levels varied by the age of the head of household. Their findings confirm that despite aggressive deleveraging since the financial crisis, the problem remains acute.”

And although there’s no shame in borrowing some money in order to pay for your college tuition, there’s still something about debt that makes people uncomfortable to openly speak about it… even when they’re not the only ones.

9 You Can Be Really Mean When You're Pushed

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Not many of us like to show our ugly side. This is because, well… it can get pretty ugly. So ugly that we do and say things that are so out of character. And maybe it’s because we’re a little ashamed of what we might have said or done in a moment when we were mad at someone who really hurt us badly, or perhaps we were just being spiteful and mean…

Whatever the case, we all have a side to us that we’re not proud of and keep very well hidden… until, of course, we get pushed to the edge.

8 You Spy On Your Man

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Okay, this one is not a secret. We’ve all done it. Yes, even you, Miss “I’m very secure in my relationship.” There’s something about your man’s phone, especially in the beginning of the relationship, that almost screams “please pick me up and scroll through me!”

If you don’t have the password to his phone, you might have spied on him through his social media accounts. Maybe you even created a fake account to keep tabs on him? Of course, there are different levels of this spying thing, but if you’re the kind who knows exactly what conversations your man is having on social media and with whom, girl, you better keep that to yourself.

7 You Think Your Boyfriend's Ex Is Cuter Than You

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Number 7 on our list touches a bit on what we spoke about earlier–insecurity. So, in your quest to find out all his little secrets on social media, you somehow found out who he used to date before you… and she’s pretty. Like, very pretty. You ask yourself, what on earth could he want from me if he had a girl like that?

Comparing ourselves to his ex is what we naturally do and if she’s cute, it’s like a punch in the gut. We easily forget that we all have something to offer in a relationship and there’s definitely more to us than the reflection in the mirror.

6 You Don't Like Children

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Not all women want to have children. This should be an obvious statement, especially now in the 21st century. There’s nothing wrong with having kids. They are a blessing like no other, but not everyone wants that.

Some women can’t bear the thought of having another human being to look after for the rest of their lives. Some women just can’t see themselves having to change their whole lives for that little human and other women just don’t see why they need to have children to be happy.

These women keep these feelings to themselves because society, including close family and friends, can be very judgmental about these feelings.

5 You Have Settled For Your Current Man

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Number 5 on our list is a little harsh, we know. But hey, we have to give it to your straight, right? Could you imagine finding out that your man settled for you? How about finding out that there was another girl that his heart actually belonged to? Yeah, you wouldn’t be able to be “okay” with that piece of information.

So, we don’t really have to say much to convince you about being tight-lipped here. It’s common sense. The amazing thing about life and love is that sometimes, you may find, that the one who you actually feel you’re “settling” for, may just be the one whom you fall deeper and deeper in love with as the years go by.

4 You're Really Not Clued Up About Politics

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In the “woke” era, it’s really very embarrassing to not have much to add to a political debate that might erupt in your class or at work. Everyone is just so passionate—they know the statistics of how a certain president made great strides in uplifting the country, while others will argue how another president did a lot of things for healthcare…

Whenever a political debate starts to come up, you’ll mysteriously disappear because you can’t seem to wrap your mind around how all this debating is helping anyone… plus, you’re really not clued up and don’t want to embarrass yourself in front of all these “woke” people.

3 Your Parents Financially Support You

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We spoke a little earlier about the fact that there are a whole lot of young people in debt and sometimes there’s an answer–Mom and Dad! Listen, we’re certainly not going to judge you based on the fact that your parents can afford to help you out when you need it.

Plus you tell yourself that you shouldn’t be shy about it (it’s not your fault that you come from money!) but you’re probably keeping this tidbit well hidden because you’re well into your twenties and none of your friends still call their dads to help them pay rent.

2 You're Sometimes Jealous Of Your BFF's Happy Relationship

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You love your BFF dearly. You guys have been together through thick and thin. She has supported you through tough times and you’ve been her shoulder to cry on during many occasions.

But at some point, she got really lucky and found herself a great guy and he makes her really happy. You love that he makes her happy, she deserves happiness. But still, sometimes you wish that was you and sometimes you wonder if you’re ever going to find your true love.

You don’t mean to be jealous, but in the meantime, you’ll keep low-key being envious of their relationship.

1 You Have A Plan B

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It’s not that you don’t love your man, you really do. In fact, you’re crazy about this guy. He possesses a lot of the qualities you appreciate in a partner and you can see yourself being with him for a very long time, however, you’ve been hurt too many times before and know that sometimes putting all your eggs in one basket can blow up in your face.

So what do you do? You have a Plan B–a backup guy, in case your current relationship doesn’t work out. No need to explain why this one should be taken to the grave with you.

Sources: The Telegraph, Psychology Today, Courant

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