Monarchist fanatics and salacious scribes always get into a tizzy over anything involving the Royal Family. Who knows how many blood vessels burst in the noggins of regal diehards when Kate Middleton apparently considered wearing a black dress to the BAFTA Awards, apparently a fashion faux pas? Or how many eyeballs froze in terror when they noticed one of the Duchess of Cambridge's arms wasn't visible in a Christmas card image?
Then, there's the baby watch brouhaha every time an heir is fertilized with royal fluid as everyone from muckrakers to bookies trip over themselves to predict the gender and arrival of a pampered progeny with all the excitement of forecasting the winner of the Kentucky Derby.
But the latest source of press percolation is... horror of horrors.. what the heck is keeping Middleton's hair in place? An entourage of stylists on call whenever a strand looks out of place? How about an exclusive appointment to one of England's poshest salons? Nope, scandal sheets are catching fire over the fact that all the Duchess uses is something that barely costs a dollar: a hairnet.
News of Middleton's accessory recently sparked an escalation of sales across the country. England's pharmacy chain, Superdrug, declared that the hairnet sales jumped by as high as 40 percent in its outlets. After all, if it's good enough for an icon wed to a future king, it's got to have a positive effect on the looks of all those who admire her.
But hairnets are the domain of cooks in hot and sweaty kitchens and grannies hoping to look their Sunday best in church, strictly lower-class fare and not something to be adopted by the upper crust. Well, you can't say Middleton isn't practical. Royal dress codes for women are tighter than the vault holding the crown jewels. Fancy nail polish and lipstick are verboten, and the same goes for any wavy hair at public appearances. To Middleton, it's a simple solution that doesn't break the monarchist bank.
Besides, her grandmother, none other than Queen Elizabeth II, apparently swears by hairnets. After all, if you can't keep your hair in place, how are you expected to keep the rest of the British Empire in line?