There are those rare people who don't pay attention to trends and simply like whatever they like. When it comes to fashion, beauty, and pop culture, they go with what their heart is telling them. And then there are people who enjoy listening to mainstream trends and finding out what's popular.
There is nothing wrong with either one, of course. It just depends on our personalities and who we are. But when it comes to dating trends, we probably wish that we couldn't pay attention to them because most of the time, dating trends point to bad behavior and other negative parts about dating.
We wish that dating trends told us that in the quest to find love, we were being nice to each other, going on dinner dates, finding the right person, and getting married.
Instead, when people write about dating trends, they're saying that people dating today aren't being that nice to one another. They're forgetting about manners and simply doing whatever they want. Anyone who has been dating in the past few years has definitely seen these trends in reality, and it's never fun.
Read on to find out more about curving and 19 other dating trends that we wish weren't a thing.
20 Curving: We Wish Someone Would Tell Us They Don't Want To Talk To Us
Have you heard of curving? According to The Huffington Post, "To curve someone is to respond to texts, but in a way that suggests you’d really rather end the conversation." The example given is a text that says something like, "Sorry, just been so busy lately."
Curving is definitely one dating trend that we wish wasn't a thing. Instead of getting these texts, we would rather a guy tell us that he doesn't want to talk to us or date us anymore. He should be open about his feelings (or lack thereof) instead of sending us these confusing text messages.
19 Ghosting: We Should Be Polite To Each Other
Ghosting is another dating trend that's unfortunate, and it's probably the one that we all know about. When someone ghosts us, they stop texting us or contacting us in any other way. They don't say that they don't want to date us. They basically disappear... just like a ghost. And like a ghost, they stick around in our minds, making us wonder why this happened or if we did something wrong.
Ghosting has become the way that we treat each other when we're not sure what to say or when we're concerned that saying we can't go on another date with someone will hurt their feelings. But we can always be polite, right?
18 Orbiting: Stop Liking Our Selfies On Social Media
Independent.co.uk explains the dating trend orbiting: "It’s when someone ghosts you but still engages with you on social media."
If you've ever had this experience before, then that means that every time you posted a selfie on social media, the guy that you had been dating would like it or comment on it. Even though he wouldn't text us back or get in touch again, he was still looking at our social media profiles. This is especially tough to deal with since we're on our social media accounts all of the time. Blocking someone seems pretty drastic, but if that's what we feel we should do in order to move on, we should definitely do that.
17 Scrooging: Please, Don't Dump Your Partner At Christmas Time
We often hear about high school sweethearts going to college and then breaking up at Christmas break or the following summer. It seems super awkward to go through a split during the holidays when everyone is so festive and happy.
According to This Is Insider, there is actually a dating trend called Scrooging. As the publication explains, "Scrooging is where you break up with someone before Christmas so you don't have to buy them a gift. According to Plenty of Fish, a quarter of people might have been Scrooged in the past, and three quarters of people don't think there's a problem with breaking up with someone at Christmas."
This sounds like the worst time of year to go through a breakup, doesn't it?!
16 Vulturing: We Probably Know Someone Like This
This Is Insider also mentions Vulturing: "when someone hangs around a dying relationship, patiently awaiting the scraps. Essentially, they become a lot more interested in romance when they see someone who is soon to be single. According to Plenty of Fish, about 16% of people admit to doing this."
We probably know someone like this, and we probably wonder why they're always crushing on someone who's already in a relationship. When the object of their affection is complaining about their partner or going through a rough patch, they're always there to listen. And they low-key hope that they can date them once the break up happens.
15 Bird Boxing: We Need To Know Our Worth And Date Good People
You might not have heard of Bird Boxing yet since it's a fairly recent dating trend. Independent.co.uk says that it's inspired by the Netflix movie that was so popular just a few months ago.
The publication says, "Much like the film, which sees Sandra Bullock struggle to survive wearing a blindfold at all times, the concept of bird boxing refers to when someone is blind to how rubbish the person they’re dating is."
We wish that bird boxing wasn't a dating trend, either. Instead, we would say that we should know our worth and date good people. That's what we deserve.
14 Pocketing: Why Can't We Meet Your Mom?
Pocketing is another dating trend that honestly sounds bad enough, just from the name alone. Even if we haven't heard about this before and we don't know what it means, we can guess that it's not something that we want to experience.
According to the NY Post, pocketing is when guys know that the relationship won't last or work out, so they don't have us meet their mom.
If we've ever dated a guy for a few months and he always had reasons why we couldn't meet his mom or the rest of his family, then we've been pocketed. And it definitely wasn't a fun experience. Why do people do this? Why not just tell us that it won't work out?
13 Kittenfishing: Pretending We're Someone That We're Not
Swoon.theodysseyonline.com mentions a dating trend called Kittenfishing. It means that we pretend to be someone that we're not when we're dating someone.
We've probably done this before, at least when we were younger. We really wanted someone to like us so we said that we liked everything that they liked and we hoped that they wouldn't find out that we really didn't.
Of course, we should never do this. If we want to find a partner who likes us for who we really are, then we have to be open about who we are and figure that if they don't like it, they're not the right one for us.
12 Cookie Jarring: Stop Stringing Other Girls Along
According to The NY Post, there's a dating trend called Cookie Jarring: "The term refers to treating someone as a back-up option while you’re dating other people."
Have you dated a guy who did this? If you have, then we can agree that we wish that guys didn't do this. Guys definitely need to stop stringing girls along. It's just not fair and it's a messy situation for everyone involved. If a guy likes us, he should stop talking to other girls and commit to us. Cookie Jarring is definitely a dating trend that we wish didn't exist, and we honestly can't even believe that it does.
11 Breadcrumbing: If You Like Us, Just Tell Us
When we hear about the dating trend called breadcrumbing, we honestly can't believe that this is a thing that happens. Independent.co.uk defines this dating trend as someone texting a message like "how's it going?" without asking the other person out.
If a guy likes us, we want him to just tell us. We don't want him to text us every now and again and make us wonder how he feels about us and if he wants to go on a date. If we've found ourselves in a breadcrumbing situation, we might have asked the guy if he wanted to go out, and he was probably super vague about it.
10 Outsourcing: Asking Our BFFs To Use Dating Apps For Us
In an article about the dating trends for 2019, Women's Health talks about outsourcing. As the publication says, "There are now full-scale businesses launching around the concept of people taking over your swipe apps and organising your love life for you."
We honestly wish that this wasn't a dating trend because online dating (and dating in general) should be more fun than it actually is. While we might want our BFFs to use dating apps for us because we don't enjoy the experience, it's actually not the best idea. How would we feel if we thought that we were talking to someone on an app and it was actually their best pal?
9 Gatsbying: We Should Never Try To Get Someone To Like Us Through Our Social Media Posts
The NY Post talks about Gatsbying, and it's definitely a strange dating trend. What is this dating trend about? It means that people are trying to get others to like them through their social media posts.
Although this is a new dating trend, trying to be someone that we're not is a story as old as time. People have been doing this since forever... but, of course, that doesn't mean that it's a good idea. All we have to do is think about makeover movies like She's All That and we know that we need to stay true to who we really are if we want to find love.
8 Stashing: We Need A Boyfriend Who Wants Us To Get To Know His Friends
Although these 20 dating trends are all really bad, stashing might be one of the worst.
As Maxim says, "Have you ever dated someone where you saw them regularly, texted all the time, and had a great time together, but never met their friends or were otherwise never a visible part of their life?"
If you can answer yes to this question, then someone was stashing you. This is hurtful because it makes us feel insecure and like this person doesn't think that we're good enough to show off to their friends and family. We should never have to go through that.
7 Cushioning: A Friendly Breakup Actually Makes Sense
Elite Daily mentions cushioning on a list of dating trends, and it basically means that a breakup is friendly. It's "cushioning" the fact that we're dumping someone with kind words and making it a bit easier to deal with.
A friendly breakup actually makes sense, right? Even if a relationship ends for a tough reason, we did love this person at one point, and we probably still care about them.
But we wish that cushioning wasn't a dating trend because it proves that many breakups are worse than they have to be. It would be awesome if every couple could end their relationship in an amicable way, especially if they have mutual friends.
6 Zombie-ing: This Is Literally Weird
Zombieing is another dating trend, and it's literally weird.
As Maxim says, "Following ghosting, the individual who dropped you like a hot potato and ignored you for weeks or months suddenly rises from the dead and texts you with a 'Hey, how have you been??' like nothing's wrong."
We never want to be in this kind of situation, that's for sure. If someone wants to break up with us, they need to tell us. If we can see some patterns in these dating trends, it's that ignoring someone is very common. We wish that wasn't the case because it definitely sucks.
5 Benching: It's Lame For A Relationship To Never Really Get Going
The Washington Examiner explains that benching means that we go on some dates with someone and then nothing else happens.
In other words, benching means that the relationship never actually gets going. The term is inspired by sports (benching players) and it works perfectly to describe this annoying situation.
We think that this is so lame and that this should never happen. Why can't a guy tell us that while it was fun to go out with a few times, he doesn't think that we're right for him? Or that he doesn't want to be in a relationship at this point? Or anything else that he's feeling? That would be so much better.
4 Cohabidating: We Should Only Move In Together When It's Real Love
The Daily Mail writes about "cohabidating": "Shacking up with your new partner in a hurry just to relieve financial stress, even though you may not be quite ready yet, is also known as cohabidating."
Why does this dating trend exist? Can't we move in with someone when we're experiencing real love? That's honestly the only time to decide to do this. Moving in with our boyfriend is a big step and it shouldn't be taken lightly. While it's great to split the rent, we shouldn't be thinking about that at the beginning of the relationship. We need to see how things go first.
3 Talking: We Need To Stop Texting So Much And Go On IRL Dates
Talking is defined by The Huffington Post as, "This means texting between two people who have a clear interest in one another."
We've all heard our best friends tell us that there's a cute guy who they are "talking" to. We've probably even said this ourselves.
The truth is that we need to stop texting so much and go on IRL dates. If we keep texting without doing that, we'll never be in an actual relationship, and we won't have a partner. There are many reasons that people talk and text without ever going out in person, like being nervous to admit their true feelings or not wanting to get rejected. But we should take a risk for sure.
2 You-Turn: Falling Too Fast And Then Falling Out Of Love Shouldn't Happen
The Daily Mail talks about the dating trend "you-turn" and describes it as, "falling head over heels in love with someone but suddenly changing your mind for one reason or another."
There are definitely some people who fall for someone super fast and then want to break up just as quickly. We sometimes see this happening in movies and on TV as well.
We wish that this dating trend didn't exist because we should pace ourselves when dating someone new and make sure that they're someone we can picture ourselves with for a long time. It's way too intense to jump into every new relationship super quickly.
1 Almost Relationships: These Need To Go
Swoon.theodysseyonline.com says about almost relationships, "Oh, the infamous almost relationships. These really suck. You're SO close with a person, it's just a label away from being something, then just like that it's completely gone. Can I please not enter another almost relationship in 2019?"
When it comes to almost relationships, we have this to say: these definitely need to go. We can't help but find ourselves in one sometimes, but we can give ourselves a break because everyone has been.
All we can do is make sure that we're not in any almost relationships from now on... and that we don't do anything else on this list, either.
Sources: Huffington Post, Independent UK, This Is Insider, NY Post, Women's Health, Maxim, Elite Daily