The guy who is a commitment-phobe will be the one to tell a woman "break up with your boyfriend, I'm bored." Why? Because he does not believe in commitment and thinks he can still get anything his heart desires.
In the real world, that is not how things work, obviously. But the man with commitment issues thinks things will always go his way. That is, until the woman who knows his game comes around.
Funnily enough, Hollywood films tend to romanticize those players; those men who are scared of commitment and prefer playing the field. Women as viewers have no problem identifying a commitment-phobe on the screen, yet in real life women tend to be blind-sided by them. IRL we need many hints and clues.
We understand that sometimes it is hard to tell if a guy's afraid of commitment. Some men may act hot and cold, especially if they’re terrified of love. However, if you want to steer clear of the Mr. Big that exists in real life (yes, we know he settled with Carrie in the end), you'll want to memorise the following signs that a guy's not ready to forge a real connection with you.
20 You Only Go On Dates When It Is Convenient For Him
If a man really wants to spend time with you and be in your company, when you ask to see him he will not refuse.
Do you find yourself always asking to see him and each time he bluntly replies with a "no," yet when he is down to see you, you have to say yes? If so, this man is one you definitely have to say "Thank U, Next" to as quickly as possible.
You are too precious to waste your time with a man who only wants to see you when it is convenient for him. He wants you only when he has nothing to do during his spare time, not forever.
19 'Tardy' Is His Middle Name
If he is not that into you, he will not care too much about you. And how does a man show that he has no care in the world reserved for you? He is a repeat offender of showing up late. We do not want to rain on your parade, but if a man always arrives late to date night, like he is always chronically late, do not excuse it as it's an obvious red flag.
While this behaviour might not mean that he is generally a tardy person, it does mean he is not stressed about impressing you. He doesn't make you a priority in his life, either. In blunt terms, he wants nothing serious.
18 PDA? What's That?
The root reason he may not want a relationship is that he is simply terrified to commit to one woman. He is not ready or willing to have a ride-or-die. Having one GF means that he will only be able to kiss one woman, cozy up on the couch with one woman and be close physically to one woman, and if he does not want that, he will refrain from any form of PDA.
If you find yourself talking to him for months yet when you try to reach out to hold his hand he does not reciprocate, then there is a red flag waving above his head.
A commitment-phobe is basically unable to show affection, especially out in the open. Since he cannot commit, he needs to show he's available to other women.
17 You Barely Hear From Him, Especially After A Fabulous Date
Isn't it quite unfortunate that nowadays women are familiar with the term "ghosting?" Why? Because men cannot even stand to hear the C-word - Commitment.
Ladies, do we really need to tell you that if a man is silent after a date with you, and does so more than once, that he is not serious about you? Even Ariana Grande is writing songs about those kinds of guys. A man who is scared to be in a relationship will look for any excuse to not make it official. One way he will do this is by letting go of contact with a woman even after a top-notch date; he'll go silent and will not be the first to initiate communication.
16 He Isn't Open About His Schedule
If you find yourself doing all the work, the man you are crushing on is clearly not capable of having a relationship. One other telltale sign that you are in a non-relationship, is if the man is not clear about his oh-so-hectic schedule. Unless he is Christian Grey, he has absolutely no valid excuse for hiding his schedule from you. And if he hesitates to let you know, it is a red flag and you should probably tell him "nama-stay home" before your next date with him.
A man who fears commitment will be vague about his schedule. He'll show it with these words: "sorry, I just saw your text" or "I have a crazy few weeks at work, we will get together another time." If you've read these, run away and ring the bells of freedom!
15 His Relationships Were All "Casual"
Give him a rain check the next time you see him if he says the word "casual" as though he is a parrot. Do not continue to support his red-flag antics when he is clearly telling you that he only wants something casual.
Men who are not ready to take the leap and commit have the word "casual" in their heads on repeat. If that word comes out of his mouth more than anything else, make the decision to make your key phrase, "thank you, next."
Men who reiterate how casual everything was between them and the women they've previously dated are politely expressing that they're not ready for a serious relationship.
14 And If He Has Had Relationships, They Were All Short
If a man openly shares with you that all his relationships have been short, do like Ariana Grande and skip out on him and pay attention to your gal pals instead. Ladies, please bear with us and keep this one in mind because it is imperative to understanding where this tasteless man stands.
A man who's been in short relationships is not a very committed man, and that is what we are getting at. Men who cannot maintain a long-term relationship do not have the patience or need to put so much effort into one, and neither do they want to try. These men are shallow and incapable of loving themselves or someone else.
13 He Loves Using The Word "Slow"
"Let's just take things slow," he says. And you know what we ask? Why are you still lingering around the man who told you that? Unless you only want to mingle.
And what is that we smell? A bunch of bogus. Does that not sound like something you have heard in movies before when you were able to single out the commitment-phobe? If so, then take the next exit as soon as possible.
Every time you ask him where you stand, he'll pull out the same old excuse, and that is because he does not want the relationship to progress. Take the word "slow" as a red flag!
12 He Is Bad At Communicating With Her
We are not in kindergarten anymore, which means we should no longer have to run after our crushes to get a response. If a man cannot factor you into his life in any way, also in terms of daily communication, then stop wasting your time with a man who has clear commitment issues.
Communication is key to any healthy relationship, so if it is such a difficult task to get in touch with him, when we do not live in the Stone Age, you have a red flag beaming in your face. Men purposely do not communicate to make the distance between you two evident. You do not need a rooster to wake you up. This red flag is too obvious.
11 He Doesn't Want To Introduce You To Friends And Family
How will you know if he's ready? If he makes you meet his bros and his family. How will you know if he is not ready? He will not introduce you to his inner circle. Nothing scares a commitment-phobe more than introducing a girl to his closest friends and family when he does not expect her to stick around.
Why would he incorporate you into his life if he knows he does not want you as his significant other? Do not even bother questioning him about this. It's an obvious red flag if he is reluctant to introduce you to the other parts of his life. He does not want to think in terms of "long-term" so stop waiting around.
10 Titles Are Nonexistent In His Book
We've all watched Grease before (well we hope you all have), so do you recall the scene in which Danny acted like he did not remember the Sandy that he fell in love with "at the beach?" Though Sandy got quite upset and called him a bunch of names, she should have stayed away longer (keep in mind not all men end up crawling back later like he did).
We say this so that you can visualise a man with commitment issues, like Danny, who wants no relationship titles. Why would he? He would lose his single lifestyle. Red flag alert: he is too afraid to give your relationship a title and evidently not afraid to lose you, so tell him sayonara.
9 You Are Not The Only One
One of the main reasons why a man cannot commit to one lady, no how matter how awesome she may be, is because he lives off the gratification of being with many women.
Some men just cannot pick one person. Be bold and drop him at the curb because this man has major commitment issues you do not want to deal with. You may be focusing all your time on him, but because he is not in a relationship with you, he is technically allowed to talk to and see other women. Whatever you do, don't be just another woman waiting on the bench to be chosen.
8 He Leaves Everything To The Last Minute
Find a man who respects you and values you. One with commitment issues will not do so, and he'll show you that by leaving dates to the last minute.
Men who are commitment-phobes are notorious for making last-minute plans, and they do this because making plans in advance is a fear for them; they do not want to commit so far in advance.
If a man avoids making plans with a woman early on, a woman should avoid spending anymore time with him since he is clearly avoiding a long-term relationship. The earlier the plans, the more commitment the relationship comes with, so do not ignore this sign.
7 He Strings You Along On A Chord
Men who view love as bad medicine will never be able to commit; they fear the idea of being one-woman men.
Our parents may be unfamiliar with the term "no strings attached" because men did not do that then, but now most men tend to pick the no-strings partnership over an actual relationship.
Ladies, if you feel like things with the guy are going nowhere, you're probably correct, so cut the strings before he does. Need we say that it is a major red flag if a man tells you that he is only seeking a friend with benefits? We didn't think so.
6 Future Plans? There's No Talk Of Any
"Future? What future?" It sounds like something Chuck Bass would say. According to the man who has commitment issues, he has no future ahead of him and will continue living in the present ― we feel awful for those men, but we'll feel more awful for any woman who sticks around this kind of lad.
Let's face it: in real life no woman should accept a man who brushes off the future with her. A man who wants to commit is mature and capable enough of discussing the future. If he avoids talking about the open road, then he does not have plans to make you his.
5 He Expresses That He Only Wants One Thing
If a man cannot commit to you, and only calls or texts when it's late at night, you know he is in it for just one thing.
Men with commitment issues will only want to have fun, and they will not care for anything more, and they certainly won't be there when you're having a bad day and need their support. They're not in the relationship for anything real or a deep connection.
Do not mistake lust for love. Any guy who only compliments you on your physical attributes should be wearing a red flag on his forehead. Stay away!
4 His Texting Is Dull
We do not want you to solely look at his texting behaviour when sussing him out, but a man's texting is quite crucial when learning about him and what he's looking for. If Mr. Big from Sex and the City was here right now, he would be one of those men we would flag as a commitment-phobe, just on his texting habits alone.
So, what texts should a woman look out for as they're red flags of a commitment-phone?
"K," "cool," "oh nice!" and every other text in the book that is dull, lifeless and that cannot be used to carry on a conversation. Because why would men who have commitment phobia want to continue having a long conversation? Not only are they unavailable via text, but they're also emotionally unavailable.
3 He Flakes On You More Than Once
Women need to start being like Fallon on Dynasty or Ariana Grande and deliberately call men out when their behaviour is rude and unacceptable.
Any woman is way too good for a man who keeps on flaking out on her, especially if it happens on more than one occasion. This man will teach you patience, but the door is wide open for him.
Commitment phobia is curable, but a man who decides to constantly ditch a woman on the eleventh hour is just a waste of time. He is not mature enough to date, nor is he willing to reserve time for the girl he is talking to.
2 He Has Space, But Insists On It
You have been giving him all the space in the world. You barely text him, you only see him when he wants to hang out and you do not hound him because you are not his partner. It should be prohibited for any lady to talk to a man who voluntarily states he needs space. What has this world come to?
Commitment is a taboo subject for men who fear it.
You may be puzzled if the guy you're interested in is asking you for more space, but unless you are clingy, this man is only saying that stuff because he does not want a woman by his side.
1 He Openly Complains About Monogamy
This one is huge! If a man is 30 years old and complains that his mother keeps on badgering him about when he is going to enter a steady relationship, it's a big problem.
If a man is not down for monogamy and mentions that all his buddies keep on bugging him to settle down in a negative way, it is totally unfair for any woman to stick around. No, there is no set age for anything in life, but I think we can all agree that by 30 men should have their plus-ones. If he only has negative things to say about relationships and love, he's still a man-child. Adios, boy.