Christmas Edition: People Of Walmart That Made Us Say No-No-No

in Cringeworthy
Christmas Edition: People Of Walmart That Made Us Say No-No-No

Walmart has become so many things since it opened in Arkansas in 1962. It has been a place for families to get their shopping done cheap, a one stop shop for everything people need. Food, household goods, and clothes. As Walmart has grown throughout the decades and become the massive chain it is today, it has become so much more than just a retail goods store that drains the resources of local communities it welcomes in. It is also a lot more than just a massive corporation that severely underpays their employees forcing them on food stamps while the bosses laugh all the way to the bank. Low prices everyday come at a price! It has become a place where people feel very comfortable to let their respective freak flags fly. Don’t believe us? Just read ahead.

With the holidays right around the corner, we wanted to highlight the special kind of people that find themselves spreading holiday cheer to the aisles of Walmart in their own unique ways. You have to admire these people being able to live so freely as their true selves. In some cases this just means they are a walking Christmas decoration, and in other cases it’s their own unique take on a Santa’s elf uniform. We’re not sure what exactly draws such eccentric people to Walmart, perhaps it has something to do with its bright neon lights shining out across huge parking lots. Whatever the reason is, we’re just thankful it happens because these Walmart loony toons provide the rest of us with so much entertainment.

17. Bringing Holiday Cheer To Walmart


Okay this is just adorable and makes us long for the days where we reach an age where we can finally go out like a human Christmas tree with zero shame. Mind you, you can probably hear him coming from a mile away with all those bells on him, but he’ll never get lost that way! And you just know that he made this whole thing by himself by hand, which just shows the dedication he has to the Christmas spirit. This is someone that would probably make you feel joyful should you run into him as you search for your giant size snickers pack in the candy aisle. We wonder what time of year he breaks out this outfit, is it as soon as December descends upon us? Or does he wait to get closer to actual Christmas day. We hope we get to meet him one day and ask.

16. The 2017 Santa’s Elf Uniform

Everything changes and nothing stays the same. Even Santa’s elf uniforms feel the need to compete with the Instagram ‘models’ (thots), obviously because how would one ever end up in such an outfit? This elf is obviously really trying to make pink happen as a Christmas color and that just feels so wrong on so many levels. You know, beyond seeing an Elf in a short skirt and high heels. This outfit is not only tragic, it is also very weather confused. If it is cold enough to wear a puffy winter jacket, what is going to happen to those bare legs in the short skirt and what looks like open toe high heels? But there is one thing that takes the cake in this situation and makes it truly horrific. No normal person would ever go shopping where they have to do a lot of walking, in heels.

15. A Different Take On The Holiday Look


She’s got style, she’s got grace. And she has Christmas decorations all over the place! We admire the color coordination in this holiday look, and how well the big gold hat lends itself no only to the color scheme but also to the theme of big gold Christmas balls.  You know, you could even sell this look to us by saying it is a light Christmas look that you can wear any time of the year, even in the summer! Some people can’t get enough of Christmas year round and who are we to stop them from feeling the spirit of the season all year round? This is like a nice summer Christmas look. We think she may be on to a million dollar idea here.

14. That’s One Way To Get Into The Holiday Spirit


Hmm. This take on what we assume to be Mrs. Claus is…bold. We understand that people who celebrate Christmas in warmer areas of the world aren’t able to do some of the things that the rest of us who deal with winter during Christmas do. Like sledding and wearing thick heavy Santa outfits. So this lady probably lives somewhere warm and darn if she would be left out of wearing a Santa outfit! This definitely looks like a homemade idea, because we find it hard to believe that any store would sell an outfit like this in a size that would fit anyone that is over 1-year-old. We’re saying she looks like an overgrown baby in this onsie and it’s not a great look. It would almost be better if she just wore a Christmas themed bathing suit.

13. Does Anyone Want To Unwrap The Present?


Remember when you were a kid, and you would see presents under the tree and you would get so excited about the big ones? The bigger the present the bigger the anticipation to open it on Christmas morning. We feel like it is safe to say that this very big Christmas present does not initiate any feelings of anticipation. In fact, most people would probably want this present to stay very much wrapped up. This whole situation raises so many questions. Did they wrap themselves? If so why? Did they have help doing? If so, why? And that little breathing / feeding hole in the face of the present really just takes the cake and puts the creepy cheery on top of the creepy sundae. Also looks like the armpits really proved to be a point of struggle when it comes to wrapping.

12. Trailer Park Santa


This is like the quintessential Walmart version of Santa on his sleigh. Instead of reindeer, its a motorized scooter. Hey, its a lot less maintenance for Walmart Santa! And he even has a huge basket on the from to this little scooter to fill up with presents for all the children. But perhaps our favourite thing about this Walmart Santa, is that it appears he is inspecting virtual reality googles. Weren’t expecting that one were you? Well even trailer park Santa enjoys the fun that new technologies provide. He has already proven himself to be a man of the future by option for a motorized scooter instead of reindeer, so obviously he is going to be up to date with the latest and coolest toys. We love this Santa.

11. Krampus?


What else comes to mind when you look at this Christmas creature? Is it a bear? It seems to have some kind of horns. The only thing that comes to mind to us is the Christmas demon, Krampus. What else could it be? Can you just imagine pulling up to a 24/7 Walmart so you can pick up a 24 pack of Mountain Dew for 3 dollars, and as you walk down the overly bright aisles you see this guy turn the corner and start walking towards you? You would think you were hallucinating and maybe even let out a gasp of fear. Well, we certainly would. No one is expecting to see this thing apron clad demon Christmas bear, ever during the holiday season anywhere except for maybe their nightmares. Nothing like a bit of horror with your Christmas cheer.

10. This Seems Like A Driving Hazard


One thing that is always interesting is the handiness and ingenuity of crazy people. Like, they can be totally insane enough to turn their car into some kind of Christmas side show and actually drive around in public like that. But they obviously put this all together, and it seems secure enough so you know it took some modicum of skill. They also drive, and that scores pretty highly on the functioning adult scale. Goes to show that totally normal people can be a bit totally crazy too. Some people are normal all year round and then when Christmas rolls around something snaps inside of them and they just get a bit nutty about it all. Like the above car. We all know a person in our lives that would do something like this during Christmas. At least, we hope that this photo was taken in the Christmas season but who really knows. It is a Walmart parking lot after all.

9. The Christmas Creature Of Walmart


We started this list off with some kind of Christmas demon, and we mentioned that it would terrify us should we see while we were perusing Walmart’s aisles. But this muscle daddy elf actually might be scarier. There is just something so off-putting to this whole thing, and while we totally celebrate this right as a grown muscular man to put on what looks like a female child’s elf costume we also have a right to say it makes us uncomfortable. Something about the bulging muscles and smile just takes takes the whole look to creepy town. And it seems he just tried it on the store, probably for the pic but you know he stretched that to the point of no return, so heres hoping Walmart made this elf buy what he stretched.

8. What Even Is Happening Here?


First off, cute shoes. But they certainly are not cute enough to save this outfit or even to excuse this whole thing from happening. One has to wonder if she lost a bet and that is why she has ended up in a Christmas themed bikini and Santa hat in Walmart. Is it possible that is Walmarts doing, some kind of adult in store Christmas promotion? Does the reason why a grown woman is doing something like this even matter? So many questions raised by this outfit. Are you allowed to just walk around Walmart in a bikini? Although after seeing what some people feel comfortable to wear at Walmart, we feel like a bikini is nothing. You know she doesn’t even look embarrassed in the picture. She looks thrilled to be looking like this in a Walmart. Someone call her parents.

7. Santa Baby, Please Stay Out Of My Chimney


Aahh, is getting some sausage to go with his exposed beans? This treasure decided that they were in the mood to put on some black fish nets and a little skimpy Santa dress, a string of words we never though we’d right and then skip on down to Walmart to do their shopping. Wouldn’t you love to know why? Maybe they would not even be able to tell us, it just makes them feel good. And it isn’t like they are hurting anyone by doing this, sort of. That is a mighty short dress and the chances of something slipping out seem high so that is a bit risky on their part. What is going through the mind of the person serving them at the deli? Maybe this is a familiar person to them so their just used to it.

6. Walmart – Serving Unique Holiday Looks Since 1962


You know people always do the same old same old when it comes to decorating for the holidays. So we really appreciate all of Walmarts patrons that take it upon themselves to serve their own take on Christmas to the general public. And you have to admire how well drawn the lights. It can’t be easy to draw on a persons head, its not like a flat piece of paper. Skulls are weird and bumpy and misshapen. And look at the attention to detail, they even drew a little plug right by his ear. Do you think that is his natural blonde hair color? Or he had to dye it a nice color like that in order to be able to make the colours of his lights really pop against his skull. Looks fantastic either way.

5. This Use Of A Beard Is Nothing Short Of Amazing


This guy looks like he is the kind of person to say groovy a lot. The time and effort it probably took him to put all those decorations in his amazing beard is so worth the end result. The glasses, the cute hat. We love it all! Too often people think People of Walmart is only about making fun of and or gawking at people who we think are different from us and strange. But it is so much more than that! This guy is awesome, and you wouldn’t see something like this in another department store. Walmart seems to represent a place where people can be totally themselves, the good the bad and the ugly. And in this list alone we have seen all three.

4. A Christmas Angel No One Wants


That wig looks like it holds a lot of secrets. Like how it stays upright for one, it is taller than Dolly Partons beehive and that is saying a lot. This elegant Christmas look was obviously spotted in a Walmart. Who is this angel buying a card for and for what occasion? Do you have someone in your life that you can see dressing up like this? Because we are really curious as to what this person is like on a day to day basis and what their relationships look like. Maybe they just enjoy reading the cards though, it would be one of the less weird things about them. And their not weird in bad way….just different. That outfit makes it seem like their dream is to be stuck on top of a Christmas tree.

3. Walmart Knows That People Love Santa, So They Put Santa In Santa


Can’t get enough Santa? Look no further than this gentleman. It is a like Christmas Babushka. A Santa in your Santa! He looks like the photo took him off guard but who wouldn’t want to document him? The only thing that would make this whole thing better if he was like this all year round, and this photo was taken in the dead of july. Also, we have seen so many different guys that look like Santa in this list. What we’re saying, so many guys look exactly the same. We wonder how they react when they come across each other in the wild, and have two Walmart Santa’s ever bumped into each other in an aisle? Just imagine this guy bumping into Trailer Park Santa. There needs to be a reality show about this.

2. Mrs. Claus Like You Have Never Seen Her


Who are all these people that can do their shopping, which requires a lot of walking, in high heels? It’s just crazy to us, but we digress. Those arm warmers are just on the cutting edge of Santa / Christmas fashion. Everyone else take notes! This is how you do a sassy Santa look. Nothing like showing off a bit of upper arm to pull together the look. And everyone knows that your forearms are always bound to get cold first so this look is not only fashionable and different, it is also very weather smart. Wouldn’t you love to see the face of this Christmas angel? We will never know the face of this person unfortunately. They will remain a wonderful Christmas mystery, and every time we see a peak of someones muscular upper arms this person will come to mind.

1. Santa In The Summer


We have seen all kinds of different approaches to the Santa look in this list. We have seen a bikini version, a demon version, and a trailer park version. But lets see Santa version of just a regular person trying to beat the summer heat with stylish get up. Oh and lets make it a female version. The juxtaposition of his massive grey bread with his massive chest really brings something new to the table that we haven’t seen yet in this list. You know, it’s 2017 and if Santa wants to dress as woman in his time off who is anyone to judge? He is just living his best life as the best version of himself / herself / their self. On another note, does anyone know what flavour of Smartfood that is in the red bag???

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