Imagine the first day of school: all the awkwardness of meeting new friends, finding the right classroom, getting the locker combination right, and not forgetting your lunch in the bleachers after Monday Morning Meeting.
Now, imagine the first day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, when everyone collectively gets together to be judged by a magical hat that sorts everyone into four distinct personality types—or, as they're known in the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, houses.
The four houses of Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin each draw distinctive kinds of people. Our heroes Harry, Hermione, and Ron all fit into the Gryffindor sect: earnest do-gooders out to help the world. Slytherin, meanwhile, gets the Voldemorts and Draco Malfoys. Meanwhile, everyone else gets sort of lumped together in either Hufflepuff (a bit more lazy) or Ravenclaw (Cho Chang).
Every kid reading Harry Potter wants to get sorted into Gryffindor—or they should have their heads examined. But what about the biggest celebrities on Earth? Where would the Sorting Hat place them?
Keep scrolling for 20 celebs sorted into their Hogwarts houses.
20 Beyonce - Gryffindor
On her first day at Hogwarts, Beyonce would definitely get sorted straight into Gryffindor. And knowing her, she probably wouldn't even be nervous about putting the Sorting Hat on her head. Beyonce has become the voice of a generation, providing inspiration through her words and her actions that prod the world towards a better future.
19 Kim Kardashian - Ravenclaw
Kim Kardashian might be one of the most famous people in the world, but she definitely doesn't belong in Gryffindor. There's nothing particularly evil, but there's also absolutely nothing selfless about Kim—though she's a little more clever than she looks, which helps to separate her from Hufflepuff and would pretty much force the Sorting Hat to drop her into Ravenclaw.
18 Kanye West - Slytherin
Kanye West would show up to Hogwarts, start an argument with the first person he saw, and then happily get sorted straight into Slytherin. It's not that Kanye's innately evil, like Draco Malfoy, but he's interested in the power that acting evil might get him. And this is the man who rapped, "We love Jesus but you done learned a lot from Satan."
17 Justin Bieber - Hufflepuff
Justin Bieber might be one of the biggest names on the entire planet, but he certainly seems to just slouch his way through life, sort of trying to make his career keep picking up steam. His lifestyle is a little showy, to be fair, but his musical efforts are so lazy that the only place he could end up is Hufflepuff.
16 Taylor Swift - Slytherin
Early in her career, Taylor Swift might not have been placed into Slytherin—but maybe the Sorting Hat would have known what kind of a pop star she'd turn into. Now, she's squarely in the most scheming, maniacal house, where her constant, blatantly false attempts to seem authentic and friendly belong.
15 Selena Gomez - Gryffindor
Selena Gomez stepped away from Justin Bieber, probably when she realized he was quintessential Hufflepuff material. Now, she's standing up and speaking out about mental health, women's rights, and still working hard on her career without visibly seeking out the limelight. The Sorting Hat would have dropped her promptly into Gryffindor.
14 Ariana Grande - Ravenclaw
Ariana Grande is perfect Ravenclaw material. She's got enough wits in her head and enough talent to get through life, though she's always seeking out new ways to enjoy and express herself. She'd be the girl who hangs with a lot of different people in other houses, though, trying to see how their lives are going, too.
13 Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson - Gryffindor
Who could be more perfect Gryffindor material than The Rock? Harry Potter and his friends could have used a guy like Dwayne Johnson to help keep Crabbe and Goyle over the years, plus there's no way little Voldemort would want to take on those pecs and biceps. Wizarding world saved.
12 Oprah Winfrey - Gryffindor
Oprah Winfrey is another celeb who fits perfectly into the Gryffindor life. She's taken her career and boosted it to the highest level, all while trying to make the world—and everyone in it—better. Stepping into Hogwarts the first time, she would have thought to herself that someone should write a book about this place to have a book club night about.
11 Jennifer Lawrence - Ravenclaw
Jennifer Lawrence burst onto the scene in 2010's indie flick Winter's Bone, though if she'd been a bit older she might have found her way into the Harry Potter franchise—much as she has with Hunger Games and X-Men. But after gaining a bit of fame, she went the route of more fame and more money—classic Ravenclaw behavior.
10 Rihanna - Slytherin
Rihanna always manages to have a good time, even through the roughest of times. She'd be an interesting case for the Sorting Hat, though eventually, she'd be placed in Slytherin. But it's not because she's a "Bad Gal" that fits in. Rihanna would have been the perfect material to be Dumbledore's spy in a house where she could happily get up to no good.
9 Miley Cyrus - Hufflepuff
Hufflepuff's house animal is the badger, which fits perfectly into sorting Miley Cyrus into the house. Miley is like a hyperactive honey badger, snorting and rooting around, unsure of what she might find but just having a blast the whole time regardless. Gryffindors could probably depend on her some of the time—when she wasn't getting wild again, anyway.
8 Tom Hardy - Gryffindor
Anyone who has seen pics of Tom Hardy with dogs knows that he would have to be a Gryffindor. While his turn as Venom might have suggested being sorted into Slytherin, all the evil in the role came from a goopy alien—Tom himself is an endearing, earnest guy who just wants to snuggle.
7 George Clooney - Gryffindor
George Clooney is another of those celebs that would show up at Hogwarts just knowing, without a doubt, he'd end up being sorted in Gryffindor. His status was secure for decades, even before he went ahead and married his wife Amal, the human rights lawyer who brings another level of wholesome heroism to George Clooney's aura.
6 Angelina Jolie - Ravenclaw
Back in the Billy Bob Thornton days, Angelina Jolie would probably have been sorted in Slytherin. All the sordid details of that era are way in the past now, and Jolie has become a mother to a growing brood and cleaned up her image in a good way. Whether or not the Sorting Hat would have been able to see that far in the future is a question only JK Rowling can answer.
5 Tom Cruise - Slytherin
Tom Cruise has always been a little out there, from the earliest, manic days of Risky Business and Jerry Maguire. But it wasn't until Scientology's nefarious world became public knowledge that he became firmly entered into Slytherin. Sure, he was ambitious, but he didn't seem evil in the beginning of his career.
4 Tom Hanks - Gryffindor
The casting call for Fred Rogers in the upcoming biopic A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood must have been pretty short. Only one guy in Hollywood could have portrayed such a wholesome, real-life hero: Tom Hanks. Sure, he could have lost a little more weight for the role, but Hanks is pure Gryffindor nonetheless.
3 Will Smith - Ravenclaw
Will Smith is too smooth to be a Gryffindor, too funny to be a Slytherin, and too hyperactive to be a Hufflepuff. Plus, he's pretty smart—if his success is any indicator. But he might need to step out and get some Gryffindor friends to rein in some of the wilder thoughts that flit through his mind without seeming to have a filter.
2 Sandra Bullock - Hufflepuff
Sandra Bullock would be a hard celeb for the Sorting Hat to figure out. On one hand, she seems pretty positive and wholesome. On the other, she's a bit milquetoast, trending in the bland direction. She'd probably end up in Hufflepuff, waiting to be discovered by her young Keanu Reeves (probably another Hufflepuff, though maybe a Gryffindor on his good days).
1 Chris Pratt - Gryffindor
Chris Pratt might have seemed like a Hufflepuff back when he was playing the laxed-out Andy on Parks and Recreation. But the Sorting Hat hopefully would have seen the future action star lurking under the (few layers of) skin. Pratt's become that Gryffindor that might crack wise every now and again, but can be counted upon in a scrap.
Sources: IMDb, Wikipedia, and Variety.