It’s no surprise that relationships have their ups and downs. No matter how close we might feel to a person, relationships change and develop over time. This means that there’s the opportunity for habits to change and shift as well.
For instance, those quirky habits that seemed endearing and loving when we first got together can change to be things that seem annoying or just generally unpleasant. Anyone who has a partner that sings loudly and off-key while wearing headphones knows this to be true. As does anyone who’s stuck with a messy person or loud eater as a partner.
It’s not that we don’t love those little quirks within our partner; they can just get annoying over time. While we’re quick to pinpoint the habits that bother us, what about the habits we have that bother our partner?
We did some digging, and we found the eighteen habits that annoy our partners the most. Don’t worry, though; we also threw in three of our best habits, just to keep that morale up.
These revelations will hopefully help us all have a more enjoyable partnership between us and our significant other. Not to mention giving us the opportunity to point out their annoying habits too!
21 Refusing To Share What’s Wrong
Thought Catalog released a long list of habits that tend to get under the skin of our partners. While this one might not be exclusive to one side of the relationship or the other, it’s certainly something that can bother a partner. We’re definitely not the biggest fan of it, and can’t help but wonder if there’s something deeper going on.
Many times we find that we don’t want to share what’s going on with us because we worry about our partner’s response. Honestly? Just share it with them. The conversation will no doubt lead to more improvements in the relationship and a stronger bond overall.
20 Oversharing Information About Unnecessary Subjects
How many of us are guilty of this one, right? We know that we’ve certainly gotten a little too excited and talked our partner’s ear off about something totally irrelevant to them. Oversharing information might be annoying, but it’s also a sign that we care. Thought Catalog lists it as one of the most annoying habits, but we think it’s endearing.
Though, maybe if our partners dislike it that much it’s worth changing. A good way to combat this is to have a best friend that we share all of our information with. That way we can better parse our conversations with our partners.
19 Low-Key Love: Wanting To Talk About Likes And Dislikes
Honestly, we think this is a good habit to get into regardless of being in a relationship or not. Being able to articulate our likes and dislikes lets us figure out exactly what we want out of life. Not to mention the fact that our partners like knowing what we’re into.
We believe that this habit is a great one because it makes it easier for our partners to plan date nights, surprise us, and to share things that they think we might like. Talking about our likes and dislikes is the only way for our partners to really understand them and know them. And that makes for way less disappointment come gift-giving season!
18 That 'Can I Try Some?' Question
Ask Men revealed this as one of their top ten annoyances when it comes to relationships, and we agree with them. It doesn’t mean we’ll stop doing it, though! Sometimes we have to judge whether or not the joy we get from a habit is comparable to the joy we’d get from changing or dropping the habit.
We love those sneaky bites of sandwiches, burgers, and fries. Part of having a partner, in our opinion, is getting to try twice as much food when we go out. However, not everybody feels that way. Ask to try a bite, sure, but always offer to share a bite of whatever’s on your plate too.
17 Too Much Phone Time Is A Big Annoyance
Here’s a habit that we know we’re guilty of, not to mention it's commonplace in couples that have been together for a while. As soon as the honeymoon period wears off it’s like we’re in a whole different relationship. Passion turns into comfort, and cellphones at the table seem to become the norm.
However, it can actually annoy our partners a lot. Ask Men says that a partner who’s too into their phone, opting to text, comment, and like in lieu of being in the moment with their partner, is one of the most annoying habits unique to our contemporary world.
16 Three Words: The Silent Treatment
Raise your hand if you’re guilty of this one! One of the most common results of an argument, the silent treatment basically means freezing out our partners on the communication front. Different from ghosting, which is where we drop electronic communication, the silent treatment tends to manifest as ignoring our live-in partner and refusing to say anything during a date night.
It’s really unpleasant and is one of those habits that some people can’t help but fall back into after a particularly bad fight. BestLife even lists it as number five out of fifty of the biggest relationship pet peeves.
15 Making Every Decision
Seriously, how do people even manage to make decisions? Personally, we’re on the other, indecisive end of the spectrum. Some people, however, can’t help but make every single decision for them and their partner. Where to eat, when to sleep, what to wear on a night out; even little decisions that shouldn’t matter stack up and come across as a little annoying.
BestLife mentions this and says that control isn’t a habit that’s conducive to being in a relationship. One person making all the decisions can be stifling for a partner unless that dynamic is one that’s agreed upon beforehand.
14 Or, Conversely, Not Making Any Decisions
On the flip side, we’re going to talk about a habit that makes our real-life partner really unhappy with us sometimes. Being indecisive, it’s difficult to make snap judgments or decisions. We like to think everything over, and are very concerned with taking our partner’s feelings into consideration when decision making.
This can, unfortunately, mean fumbling over a decision and ultimately not making one at all. This leaves our partner in the awkward position of making nearly every decision, while also quelling our rising stress. We’ve learned to let it go (sometimes), and honestly? The relationship is way stronger for it.
13 Focusing On You Is Isolating To A Partner
We all know those friends who only seem to talk about themselves. While we’d never admit that it’s us who are guilty of it, we all tend to fall into the pattern at some point in our lives. Humans are naturally introspective creatures, after all!
BestLife puts it best when they describe this habit, though: “if you tend to interrupt and bring the conversation back to yourself, your partner will quickly become irritated and feel like all you care about is yourself.” That’s not to say we shouldn’t relate and share facts about ourselves with our partner! We just need to make sure we’re balancing that conversation habit.
12 Low-Key Love: Always Thinking About Our Partners
This is something that everyone who’s in a relationship will likely agree on. We love when our partners are thinking about us and love when they tell us that they are. It’s no surprise that we love our significant others. Having reassurance of that fact, though, is a refreshing experience for any relationship.
Verbal assurance is one of our favorite love languages, though it can come out in a few different ways. Sending a quick text message, leaving a handwritten note, or even bringing their favorite take-out over for a movie night in reminds them that we’re thinking about them, and that’s a habit that makes every partner smile.
11 Private Partner Details Should Be Kept Private
BestLife’s list of partner pet peeves continues, and one of them is something that we might have done in the past (despite not being proud of it). BestLife says, “if you’re [annoyed] by your partner, the classy and appropriate course of action is to address it directly...By airing your laundry for everyone to see, you’re showing a lack of respect for your partner and the relationship.”
Take that to heart the next time you’re thinking of posting those cryptic song lyric captions on all your social media posts after a little quarrel. It might feel like blowing off steam, but it can really annoy a partner!
10 Controlling Our Partner Isn’t The Greatest Choice
Remember when we talked about that whole making-all-the-decisions thing? This is the next step up from that. While we see this typically more often in males, BestLife reveals that it’s actually possible for it to manifest in many different relationship dynamics. They reveal that control is one of those things that can make for a less-than-great relationship.
Telling your partner whom they can talk to or not talk to is actually going to be very divisive in the relationship in the long run. We all need to have friends, hobbies, and interests outside of the relationship. If we as partners aren’t able to support the love of our life with that, it’s probably not going to work.
9 Not Taking A Compliment Is Definitely Annoying
Ask Men lists this as one of our most annoying habits, but we’re not sure that it’s as cut and dry as they think it is. Taking compliments is really, really hard, especially if we’re battling anxiety or low self-confidence. Unfortunately, those two internal features can impact our external life and relationships.
If we can’t take a compliment, eventually our partner will stop giving them to us. And it’s not because they don’t think it’s true; they just don’t want to hear us get down on ourselves! This is definitely a habit to break, even if it is difficult. Trust us, though! We’re so much happier since we’ve learned to just say “thanks.”
8 Surprisingly, Celebrating Too Much
We’re suckers for a party, fancy date night, or excuse for flowers. We love the fact that the relationships are full of anniversaries, birthdays, Valentine’s Day; any excuse to celebrate. Thought Catalog points out, however, that celebrating every little milestone or anniversary can become annoying.
Yes, celebrating that one year mark is important, as well as celebrating birthdays and special holidays. But marking the calendars every time the two of you have an anniversary of a first kiss, first date, or first big disagreement? It’s not exactly balloons-and-cake worthy, and it might even detract from the specialness of more important milestones!
7 Being Late Is Really Not Great
Nearly every list we looked at listed being late as one of their top pet peeves or annoying habits between couples. We absolutely agree with this one as well. Being late is disrespectful, as it can send the message that our time is more important than theirs. Ask Men points that out, as well as BestLife.
If distraction and anxiety are the reasons that lateness happens, communicate that to a partner. You two might be able to work on it together, rather than having a partner low-key build resentment over our lack of time management. Trust us; a partner will understand if there’s a bigger issue. Though, they might also stealthily set all our clocks ahead 10 minutes!
6 Messy Habits Annoy Everyone
Messy buns are one thing, but messy kitchens? Messy bedrooms? These are the things that can make a partner concerned about moving in together, which can ultimately stunt the growth of the relationship. Cleaning up after someone is “exhausting,” as BestLife says, and we have to agree.
Being able to take responsibility for our actions and our messes means that we’re able to hold our own in a relationship. We’re taking equal responsibility for the house and the upkeep of the house, which definitely makes for a healthy relationship. Not to mention the fact that leaving all the forks unwashed can cause some major frustration to simmer in our partner.
5 Judgmental Actions Actually Hurt A Relationship (Even If They Aren’t Personal Judgments)
This is a surprising one, as it’s something we’d never really thought about before. Personal judgments are one thing. We all have them, and they tend to be a natural response to a new situation. Being a judgemental person, however, is an unfortunate habit that many partners find annoying.
Judging those that we don’t know is a difficult habit to break, but it’s one that will not only bring us more peace of mind, but also peace within the relationship. Thought Catalog lists this as number nine on their list, so it really does impact our relationships more than we might think.
4 The Old 'Fine' Conundrum
Ah, this old classic. Ask Men says that this is one of those annoying habits that many of us have, even though we might not be conscious of it. We think that they’re probably right, though it’s definitely not as stressful as some folks make it out to be. “Fine” can mean a variety of things. But the issue is not necessarily in using the word “fine.”
The issue comes from refusing to talk to a partner about annoyances, stresses, or disagreements. Staying silent and keeping things locked inside tends to allow them to fester, building up until those problems bubble over later on down the line.
3 Needing Too Much Affection
Here’s a habit that we are very familiar with. There are a few books out there that talk about this, but at the core of it all is attachment styles. Those of us who have a very attached attachment style like (and need) a lot more affection than those that might have a more avoidant or detached attachment style.
This mismatch can result in annoyance, as well as the phrase “you’re too clingy” being said. If we are acting clingy, that’s something that needs to be worked on. If we’re just expressing our natural attachment style, though, that’s nothing to be embarrassed by.
2 Jealousy Is A Negative, No Matter How Flattering It Might Feel
It’s a bit of a catch-22; if we don’t express any jealousy, our partners can end up misreading us as uncaring. If we do express jealousy, we’re too clingy or controlling. What are we to do? Our best advice is to say that we should stop worrying about it.
If we trust our partners we should be able to talk to them about anything, including any jealousy-inducing vibes we’re getting from that new coworker they just started hanging out with. Unfortunately, no matter how much it shows that we love and care about our partner, too much jealousy is a habit that we find tends to annoy those that we love.
1 Low-Key Love: Just Being Around Is Enough
More than anything else that we do, the habit that makes our partners truly fall head-over-heels is the way that we tend to just be around. Hanging out at home, listening to them rant when they’ve had a bad day, or being able to hold them when they’re crying; all of these actions translate to the same thing: being around for our partner.
Whether it’s in tears of laughter or tears of pain, standing by our partner is one of the best ways to be in a relationship. It’s something that we appreciate, and something that we know our partner appreciates too.
Sources: Thought Catalog, Best Life Online, AskMen