We’ve probably all dated a “bad boyfriend” at one time or another in our lives, it’s nothing to feel guilty about. But sometimes it can help to know what you are looking for so that you can avoid it the next time around. Relationships can often be seen as a teaching ground and when they aren’t good for us, we tend to learn lessons about what to avoid the next time we meet someone.
Bad boyfriends are just a part of life. There are even a ton of movies that depict bad boyfriends who we love to hate. Throughout pop culture, there is a mix of boyfriends that have come into our lives through movies and TV shows and some of them we didn’t even realize were bad at the time.
That’s how it can be in real life, we meet someone, we start to get to know them and we don’t immediately realize that he’s a bad guy. A guy can be the best friend that we ever had, but not great boyfriend material and that’s something we don’t get to fully realize until we are in a relationship. Check out these 20 signs that show he’s a bad boyfriend.
20 He Makes His Girl Feel Guilty For Being Happy
There are guys out there that are only happy when they are happy. Remember Zack from Wedding Crashers? These kinds of guys are only happy when you are doing their thing.
If you go away for the weekend with the girls and come back happy and excited, he will likely pout because you were out having fun without him. If you feel like you are walking on eggshells just to keep him happy, then he’s probably not the guy for you, and it's time to leave.
19 He Disappoints Her Every Time They Make Plans
If you are dating a guy that is always breaking plans with you and making excuses about it, then he’s a bad boyfriend. Ghosting can happen at any point during dating and it can make being involved with that person exhausting. A guy who is constantly canceling on plans really doesn’t care that much about you. If he did, then he would be spending time with you.
A guy who cancels is showing you where you fall in regards to his priorities and it’s pretty low. It’s not even just canceling, sometimes a guy will take you out and ruin the date by arguing or fighting with you.
18 He’s Constantly Texting His Ex, But They’re Just Friends
This one happens so often that you probably rolled your eyes just reading the title. How many times have we heard: “she’s just a friend?” You want to believe him, but it really depends on the guy. We’re not saying that guys can’t have friends that are girls. But how much time is he spending with this person and is she blowing up his phone all day long?
No girl invests that much time in a guy unless she has a stake in the game. If you find your guy texting his ex a lot and he keeps giving you that same lame excuse, it might be time to lay down some ground rules or say good-bye.
17 He Lies About The Little Things
You will know that you have a bad boyfriend on your hands if you are constantly catching him in lies. We’re not even talking about big lies. We are talking about situations where someone really has no reason to lie. If someone starts lying about things that really don’t matter, then they probably lie a lot, and that’s going to be a real problem.
Don’t stick around for someone who can’t be honest with you, no one deserves that. You will always be wondering what else he lies about. We aren’t talking about little white lies that happen from time to time. It’s consistent and problematic for any healthy relationship.
16 He Would Trade Her In For Something Better
Everyone loved Chuck and Blair on Gossip Girl and believed them to be soulmates but throughout their relationship, Chuck did some pretty unforgivable things. When they first got together, Chuck had a meltdown about the idea of being committed to one girl and left Blair alone in Europe so that he could hang out with lots of girls. Don’t even get us started on when he SOLD Blair to another man to get what he wanted.
There are guys out there that are always looking to upgrade and those guys just aren’t worth your time. They will only hurt you.
15 He’s Never Happy About Himself
Although Chuck may have sold Blair, we think that there may have been a worse boyfriend in Gossip Girl. Dan Humphrey may have had a lot of good boyfriend qualities the one thing he was really good at was manipulation. He lied a lot especially to Serena who ended up forgiving him and marrying him.
The problem with Dan was that he was never happy with himself, he was a “climber” and always wanted to be on a level where he could claim someone like Serena. If a guy doesn’t love himself, he’s never going to be able to love you properly.
14 He Doesn’t Take Her Seriously (Ever)
There were a lot of people who believed Mr. Big and Carrie were soulmates but there were a lot of red flags in their relationship that should have had Carrie running for the hills. In Sex and the City, Mr. Big left Carrie at the altar, but there were red flags that led up to that. If she would have watched out for these, then she could have gotten rid of him before he was able to do something that deplorable.
One huge red flag was that Mr. Big never seemed to take Carrie seriously and that is not a great quality in a man. Your boyfriend should be your number one fan at all times and support you in any way that he can.
13 He Does Things That Make Her Pity Him
Pete Campbell from Mad Men is definitely not the kind of guy that anyone should date. He had a lot of bad qualities, like being a liar. But one of the worst qualities he had was that he was just so pathetic all the time. He made you not want to even be around him and that’s not the kind of guy you want to date.
There are guys out there that want you to feel pity for them so that you will feel bad if you break up with them, but you should never be with a guy that you pity to begin with.
12 He’s Obsessed With Taking Selfies
If you are checking out his social media and all you see is shirtless pictures, then you might want to jump ship. Selfies have become super popular over the years and they’ve been around long enough for people to have conducted studies on them. According to these studies the more a person takes pictures of themselves, the more likely they are to be a sociopath. Definitely not something you want to see on a dating profile.
It wouldn’t apply to all guys but probably to the ones that take a ton of photos. A guy who edits his pictures “has higher levels of narcissism and self-objectification.”
11 He’s Constantly Breaking Her Heart But He Loves Her
For anyone that loved Buffy the Vampire Slayer you were probably either Team Angel or Team Spike, and there were a lot of people that were Team Spike. As much as people believed that Buffy’s soulmate was Angel, he wasn’t always the nicest guy to her. He was constantly breaking her heart and telling her it was for her own good, because "I love you, but we shouldn't be together.”
For one thing, she was a grown woman, so she could decide for herself who she wanted to be with and telling a girl you love her but you can’t be together is just a bad boyfriend move.
10 He Makes Her Change Everything About Herself
For Sandy and Danny in Grease, they probably should have left their summer lovin’ at the beach where they first met. They both spent the whole movie being unsatisfied with each other and trying to change the other person.
The unfortunate part is that Danny doesn’t commit to Sandy until she completely changes herself and fits into those impossibly tight leather pants. Sure, they loved each other but you shouldn’t have to completely change who you are in order for a guy to like you. If a guy doesn’t like who you are, well there are plenty of fish in the sea.
9 Britney Spears Says He’s A Womanizer
When it comes to womanizing, Britney Spears has sung all about it. We have seen plenty of those on the big screen, from James Bond to Tony Stark. Iron Man was the worst and it was puzzling how Pepper fell for a guy who had eyes for every girl in the room. He would even go so far as to make comments about the women in front of her or she had to deal with the women the morning after when they were doing the Walk of Shame.
Sure, he took care of her in any way that he could but he was also emotionally distant and that’s a recipe for disaster.
8 He’s A Stage Five Clinger
Guys like to talk about the stage five clinger as if it’s only a girl thing. We saw that in the movie, Wedding Crashers. But the truth is, guys are just as likely to be clingy as women are. Edward from Twilight was the perfect example. He didn’t trust Bella enough to walk on her own two feet without his help. He was ALWAYS there. He wouldn’t let her go see Jacob because “wolves have no control” and was more than fine with her being a captive in her room as long as that meant she was safe.
It’s pretty easy to spot a stage five clinger and they are to be avoided at all costs.
7 He Has A Haunted Past
Yes, the haunted past. At first, it sounds sexy and mysterious but when you are right in the midst of it, it’s anything but. Jim Stark in Rebel Without A Cause gave us a taste of the angsty guy with the troubled past. We were all over James Dean in that role but typically guys that have a lot of baggage are hard to be in a relationship with because they either have commitment issues or the baggage is still very much a part of their lives.
It’s important for anyone to move on from their past in order to have something healthy in the future.
6 He Tries To Drag Her Down
Don’t date a guy who doesn’t want the best for you. In this case, we are talking about Jess, Rory’s boyfriend on Gilmore Girls. He definitely wasn’t the best boyfriend so we’re not sure why she spent so much time with him. First of all, he tells her he loves her and then he leaves her, then he also tries to get her to drop out of Yale?
Who would do something like that? He should have been proud that his small-town girlfriend was awesome enough to get into Yale in the first place. He just seemed to be dragging her down all the time.
5 He’s Always Running Away From Problems
That’s right, even Simba made our bad boyfriend list. Nala had to travel a long distance and basically guilt her man into dealing with his issues like ten years later. It was embarrassing. Simba is a great example of a guy who when the going gets tough, he runs away, and Simba really bailed on all the people that were counting on him.
If you’re with a guy that can't deal with his problems, that’s going to prove difficult in the long run. You need someone who can face their problems head-on and know that you can depend on them in a crisis.
4 He Criticizes Her All The Time
When Andy got the position as Miranda’s assistant in Devil Wears Prada, she got more than she bargained for. Sure, she was busy all the time and her schedule was ridiculous but she had bills to pay. It would have been nice to have some support, especially since she was working a job she didn’t like.
Even when she could finally get home at the end of the day, she was constantly met with criticism from her boyfriend, Nate. He already had a job he loved and she still had to work up to hers. He should have sat back and realized that she was really trying.
3 He Acts Like He Is Smarter Than Her
Neil in The Santa Clause was a terrible boyfriend because he always acted like he was way smarter than his wife. Not cool. Sure, she was trying to get him to believe that her ex-husband was now Santa Clause and he didn’t even believe in Santa Clause. That could be a hard pill to swallow but, in the end, he should have trusted her judgment because she turned out to be right.
It’s never a good idea to be with someone who makes you feel stupid regardless of what it is you are passionate about.
2 He’s Not About To Watch Grey’s Anatomy With Her
Have you ever dated a guy that made you feel like you had the worst taste in everything? It didn’t seem to matter if it was food, books or your favorite TV show. He just never liked anything. It sucks dating a guy who won’t just bite the bullet and watch your favorite show with you.
Girls do stuff like that all the time. We listen to the favorite songs, we watch wrestling and football, whatever it takes. Being in a relationship means that you have to be at least somewhat involved in each other’s interests.
1 There Are Girls All Over His Social Media
There is nothing more annoying than checking out your man’s social media pages and seeing some girl you have never heard of posting heart-eyed emojis on his posts. That’s a huge red flag. A guy that is committed to a relationship won’t tolerate that stuff and he certainly won’t make his girl deal with it, either. If there are always a ton of girls on his social media, that’s a huge red flag.
There is a good chance that he is involved with at least one of the girls that keep posting on his page. If you see this behavior, it might be a good idea to head for the hills.
Sources: refinery29, thoughtcatalog