Love is one of the most beautiful things that we can experience but it can also be a complicated time in our lives. When we first meet a guy, it can be easy to get caught up in the moment and want to rush into a commitment. Sometimes we are lucky enough to find a guy that will commit to a relationship right away and then we can run into the sunset together. But unfortunately, it doesn’t always happen in this way and after a while, it can be frustrating trying to figure out why our man is waiting for so long before defining the relationship or telling us he loves us.
For women, we typically like to get out of the dating scene as soon as possible. We want to be able to introduce the guy we are seeing as our boyfriend to friends and family. It makes us feel like we are going somewhere, that we are on the right track. But what if it doesn’t happen?
Psychologists suggest that there are little tricks that we can do to get our men thinking about commitment. Check out these 20 ways to make him commit and get ready to note them down!
20 Draw Him In With A Light And Fun Attitude
When a guy is first dating a girl, he really doesn’t like a lot of pressure, otherwise he may flee the scene. At least in the beginning, you are going to want to keep things light and fun. After all, that’s how you want him to see commitment with you. If he starts to feel like it might be similar to a shackle on his leg, then you are going to have a hard time getting him to commit.
When you are with him, have fun and do things that put a smile on both of your faces. He will start associating you with good times. The next thing you know, he will be introducing you as his girlfriend.
19 Don’t Act Desperate, Ever
Guys can literally smell desperation like cheap cologne. If you are dating someone, the last thing you want him to think of you is that you are desperate. It’s not an attractive quality and eventually, it will have him heading for the hills. When you are with him, it’s best not to be in his space a lot or asking him when you can meet his family. He’s just going to assume that he doesn’t even have to bother winning you over.
Play it cool and even withhold attention at times just so that he knows that he still needs to work in order to get you.
18 Men Love When Girls Play Hard To Get
You might think that giving a guy all your attention is the best way to win his heart but studies suggest differently. One 2014 study found that men in a speed dating situation were more interested in the women who played hard to get. Not just that, but the women were literally disinterested in a man’s questions. We’re not suggesting you ignore everything that comes out of his mouth, but just don’t hang onto his every word.
It seems like we always make life harder on ourselves... Love is complicated, go figure.
17 Be Charming With The People In His Life
As the two of you spend more time together, you are going to start to meet the people that he has in his life. Psychologists suggest that using peer pressure with your man might trick him into committing to you. The idea is that when you start to meet his family and friends, you make sure to turn on the charm.
If the people in his life think you are amazing, then they are going to talk about you when you are gone. He’s going to be influenced by the people around him and if he hears how amazing you are often enough, he might want to take you off the market permanently.
16 Using The Right Facial Expression Definitely Helps
There’s no doubt about it: when you are around someone who is happy all the time, it’s natural for you to feel good too. Happiness is an attractive quality and if you are around someone who regularly has a smile on their face, that can be addictive. In 2011, researchers conducted experiments on more than 1,000 people. They had the people look at photographs of members of the opposite sex and judge whether or not they were attracted to them.
The study showed that men were most attracted to the women who looked happy in the photos and were least attracted to the ones that displayed pride.
15 Looking Similar To His Last Partner
You might be thinking there’s no way, but it’s true. We all have a “type” but men won’t necessarily stick to it as much as women. Researchers showed in a 2011 study that both men and women judged whether or not people were attractive based on how much they looked like a previous partner.
Whether a guy realises it or not, he will sometimes choose a woman based on someone he was once in love with. Don’t believe us? Channing Tatum’s new girl looks a lot like Jenna Dewan, wouldn't you say?
14 Become Buddies With His Closest Friends
He’s probably going to be discussing you with his friends a lot especially as your relationship progresses. He’s going to want his friends to chime in on what they think about you. For guys, getting their friends' approval is very important to them. You are likely going to be out with his closest friends, bowling or watching football, so it’s a great time to become buddies with them.
You want his friends to love you because then this will make them give your man their stamp of approval. If they think you are rude or annoying, then he might start to distance himself from you.
13 Reward Him When He Goes Above And Beyond
The reward system works for just about anyone. Just think about how happy you are at work when you receive praise or an award for a job well done. Well, you might just be able to reward your man right into a commitment. When your guy does something nice for you that goes above and beyond, then reward his efforts. It’s going to make him see commitment in a new light.
You won’t be the “nagging” girlfriend, but so much better than that. It doesn’t mean you have to buy concert tickets every time that he does something nice. Sometimes all it takes is saying, “thank you” or buying him his favourite treat.
12 Start A Routine With Him
Getting into certain routines with him can really make him start to think of you as a permanent thing. Start playing the role of the woman in his life. But be delicate about it because if you go overboard, you could scare the guy off. Subtlety is everything, like grabbing your favourite coffee together, remembering what he takes in his coffee, sending good morning texts so that he starts to expect them in the morning and so on.
Don’t be in his face all the time, just gently integrate yourself into his life so that he really can’t imagine life without you.
11 Have Him Help In An Emergency Situation
Guys love playing the knight in shining armour. They are likely to commit to a girl in whom they feel they are highly invested. This requires you to ask him to put effort into you and that can also be done subtly. If you have a flat tire, make sure he’s the one that you call. Have him do little things for you that will seem like nothing to him.
The more effort that he puts into you and your life, the more invested he will become in you. Once a guy is invested into someone, it’s unlikely that he will pull out of the relationship.
10 Use A Lot Of Hand Gestures
You might think this is a weird one but it’s true: using a lot of hand gestures matter. When you are with your man, make sure that you are filling up the physical space. In 2016, researchers observed men and women during speed-dating sessions and they found some interesting things.
The study showed that men were more interested in the women who moved their hands and arms when they talked as opposed to the women who sat still. The same men were shown pictures on a dating site and they were also more likely to choose women who were pictured in expansive poses.
9 Showcase Similarities With Him
We have been told for decades that “opposites attract,” but it’s not really true. "Partners who are similar in broad dispositions, like personality, are more likely to feel the same way in their day-to-day lives," said Gian Gonzaga, lead author of a study of couples who met on eHarmony. "This may make it easier for partners to understand each other."
Another way that you can connect with him in a simple way is to lock eyes. University of Massachusetts psychologist Joan Kellerman asked 72 unacquainted undergrads to pair off and stare into each other's eyes for two minutes and it actually made them more connected. "They later reported they had increased feelings of passionate love and affection towards the other person," SA reported, as mentioned on The Independent.
8 Don't Tell Him Every Little Detail About Your Life
When you first start dating someone, it can be tempting to want to tell them every little detail about your life. But there is something to be said for leaving a little mystery for him to discover. You do want to remain engaging with your partner, but just leave an air of mystery to yourself.
That means not divulging everything, at least not right away. Sometimes it’s best to play your cards close to your chest, at least in the beginning. If you use your natural tools, then you will see that your man is just going to keep coming back for more.
7 Leave “The Talk” Until Later
You're falling for your guy and you really hope that he’s falling for you too. You really want to have “the talk” just so that you know where you stand. If you don’t already know it by now, guys are afraid of that particular talk. It’s just one of those cringe-worthy talks that no one really wants to have.
The last thing you want to do is bug him about commitment, as it’s a sure-fire way to get him to bail on you. He may not be ready for it and if he sees that you are desperate to lock him down, he’s going to want to commit even less.
6 Don’t Always Be Readily Available
Don’t be the girl that sits and waits by the phone or hangs around the house “just in case” he wants to do something. It’s tough at the beginning because you want to spend as much time as possible with him, but the truth is that sometimes it’s best to be scarce. If you are always in his face all the time, then it doesn’t give him a chance to miss you.
When a guy starts to miss the girl he’s with, it makes him realize that he really doesn’t want to be away from her. Pull back for a bit, such as by going MIA for a day or two, to give him something to think about.
5 Stop Talking About Him All The Time
When you are really into a guy, you want to tell everyone and that includes your best friend, mom and even your nail technician. The people around you may even be getting sick of hearing about the guy in your life. The thing with talking about someone all the time is it puts all your focus on them and can even make you feel like you are going crazy.
Behaviour like this can make you act clingy or needy. Dial it back and watch how impressed he is by how laid-back you can be. Guys love girls who can be chill about the relationship. Soon enough he will be asking you to be his.
4 Plan A Big Trip
We’re not talking about heading to Aruba together. Sometimes all it takes is a nice little weekend away somewhere local. It’s the kind of thing that can push a dating situation right into a relationship. It might get you just the commitment that you are looking for. If that's not an option right now, you could jet-set to somewhere sunny and comforting with your girlfriend for a weekend away instead.
For a guy who's hesitant about commitment, he may wonder what you are doing while you are away. He could even drive himself crazy about the whole thing and it will be a good time for him to start to miss you.
3 Giving The “Right” Kind Of Attention
The way you pay attention to your partner will depend on whether you guys are in it for the long haul or not. Psychologist John Gottman has studied couples for 40 years and he thinks that it’s a matter of “birds.” Imagine a woman who loves birds, and she points a goldfinch out to her husband. Now, he has two options, he can give her a dismissing remark and not engage or he can turn toward her and share in the enthusiasm.
“In one of Gottman's studies of marriage, couples who divorced after six years had the "turn toward" reply 33% of the time, and the couples that were still together had the "turn toward" 87% of the time,” IFL Science reports.
2 Give Him Space And Engage In Self Love
You have to have your own life even if you are dating someone new. If you revolve your world around your guy, he could lose interest because that’s not the kind of girl that guys want. Don’t be the girl that cancels plans with her friends to go out with her guy or never shuts her phone off because she’s expecting him to call.
Go out and have a life, that way you will have more interesting things to talk about when you are with your guy. If you want your man to be tripping all over himself to get to you, then start focusing on yourself instead of putting all the focus on him.
1 Taking Care Of His Dog
Guys love their dogs, so much so that they will even pay attention to how their dog reacts around you. For some reason, just being seen with a dog can make you appear more dateable. That was what was found in a 2014 experiment with 100 women who were shown stories about men. Every time that a story featured a man and a dog, the women rated the guy as a long-term partner.
The researchers stated that this was because people who owned dogs were seen as more nurturing and able to handle commitment.