First dates are already nerve-wracking. One never knows if they're going to have the best or worst time of their life. Usually, we're so focused on making a great first impression that we’re not thinking clearly. And that’s totally fine! There’s a good chance that our date’s got butterflies in their stomach, too. But there are some things we need to do if we want to lock it down and get a follow-up date. See, that’s the problem in this day and age. There are tons of dating apps that help us get a first date. But most first dates turn into epic fails. Perhaps, people are way too comfortable socializing behind a screen or a phone.
So, we start to ask ourselves, "Is it us? Is it them?" Maybe we’ve been going at it the wrong way. We should think of the first date as our calling card. We want to make a good impression, so we have to reveal our best traits. They need to know that we’re fun and interesting if we want the other person to get warm and fuzzy feelings about us. But if we’re on the first date and having a good time with this person, then here are a few things to do to ensure a second date is on the cards.
20 Keep The First Date Short
Long first dates can become pretty dull in a heartbeat. You might even stick your foot in your mouth and get tempted to share too much. Details about your personal life should be kept private until your potential bae gets to know you better. Besides, shorter dates can cost less when you only have time for one glass of wine or a cup of coffee. The longer you stay, the more you or your date will have to spend.
Another advantage of a short first date is that it leaves you wanting more, but only if the convo went well and you two lovebirds hit it off.
19 Avoid Showing Up 'Fashionably Late'
Being late to anything is never good. It suggests that you’re unreliable or weren’t really that interested in going on a date in the first place. You certainly wouldn’t want them to show up late, would you? So do yourself a solid favor and show up on time. You make a better first impression.
If you know that you take forever to put on your makeup or pick out the perfect outfit, plan ahead so you won’t be in such a rush or wind up being fashionably late. But if you are running behind, make sure to call or text your date. It's a great way to show respect.
18 Start Off The Date With Confidence. There's A Reason Why He Asked You Out, After All!
Confidence is an attractive quality in men and women, so nothing scores you a second date faster like showing off some confidence right off the bat! But it’s okay if you don’t feel 100% like you're there yet. Fake it! He won’t know the difference. Besides, the more you act like a confident queen, the more you’ll start to actually feel like one.
But if you’re still feeling unsure of yourself, stand in front of a mirror and give yourself a pep talk. Remind yourself that you are unique and totally amazing and that you’re worth going on a date with because you’re the bee's knees! Once you believe it, your date will too. We guarantee it.
17 Discover Similarities Right Off The Bat
Try to find common ground. You can bond over your favorite television show or movie. Maybe you’re both into comics. Now wouldn’t a pit stop to a comic book store make a perfect first date? Is Comic Con in town? Then you know what to do!
You have to find that niche that binds you two together. There has to be something you both enjoy like sports, reality TV, or travel destinations. People tend to get very excited when they learn that they share something in common with the person they’re dating. So find out what you have in common and start raving about it!
16 Think Of A Few Icebreaker Questions And Memorize Them, That Way The Conversation Will Keep Flowing
Make sure the conversation is always flowing. There’s nothing worse than awkward silences and choppy conversation. You know what we’re talking about. The kind of silence where no one says anything for five unbelievably uncomfortable minutes or more. Yikes. Keep talking and continue to ask questions.
There are so many topics you can chat about like family, pop culture, favorite music, and hobbies. But try to avoid subjects like religion, politics or that dreaded ex you still think about on occasion. The alternative would be to just sit there having a staring contest, but that won’t land you a second date, right?
15 She Shouldn't Be Afraid To Be Herself
This should be easy unless your dating profile is full of smoke! Just be yourself. This doesn’t mean you should pick your nose or rant about how much you loathe your ex. But don’t embellish your life. If you’ve never gone skiing or skydiving, don’t say that you have so you'll come off like you’ve had an exciting life.
We all want to go the extra mile and knock our date’s socks off. But there is such a thing as overdoing it. Don’t try to be someone you’re clearly not. It will be harder to maintain the facade in the long run. Besides, once your date sees through your smoke screen they’ll never call again.
14 Be Careful With Getting Way Too Personal (If Everything Works Out, There'll Be Plenty Of Time For That!)
It’s okay to let him get to know you. But there’s no need to delve into every gritty detail of your life, especially your personal traumas. Remember, you’re on a first date. If you need counseling, set up an appointment with your therapist. First dates are about having fun and making a love connection. While you’re at it, avoid talking about past relationships. If you’re still feeling down because of something that happened with an ex-partner, then you’ll come off like you’re not ready to date, or still hung up on them.
Finally, avoid grilling your date about their deepest secrets. It’s a date, not an FBI interrogation. If everything goes well, there'll be plenty of time to talk about life and everything you both have been through.
13 She Should Resist The Urge To Tell Him Her Entire Life Story
We get that you’re nervous, so you might become a chatterbox on the first date. But just because he asks a question about your personal life, it doesn’t give you permission to open the floodgates and delve right into your life story. If he asks you where you’re from, limit your answer to a few sentences. You don’t have to go into detail about how many times you moved or your parents’ divorce.
You're just getting to know each other, so he might not be too emotionally invested in your past, yet. Besides, if he likes you, he’ll eventually learn everything there is to know about you (but not all at once).
12 If Something Goes Wrong, Laugh It Off!
The thing you need to know about a first date (or any date) is that there are things that happen that are beyond your control. Maybe you’re having a romantic walk through the park and you accidentally step in a hot steaming pile of you-know-what. Maybe you had a wardrobe malfunction, like a gust of wind blowing your dress up. Do what Marilyn Monroe did and just laugh it off because stuff happens!
You can’t control everything, but you can control how you react to the unexpected. Don’t let it get to you or it comes off like you’re a negative person, which is a total turn-off.
11 Think Outside The Box And Suggest Doing Something Fun Like Biking Or Going To A Concert Afterwards
Taking someone to dinner and then to the movies is the oldest cliché in the dating world. So, try thinking outside the box for a change. Do something unexpected, like an escape room. Escape rooms are so much fun because you get to work together to solve puzzles in order to escape. Two minds working as one will definitely spark some romance.
But if escape rooms aren’t your thing, you can try going to a jazz club, a dive bar, a museum, a haunted house, or book a unique city tour. You can even choose a holiday event like a haunted house around Halloween or a Christmas fair around the holidays.
10 Wandering Eyes Are A Major No-No On A First Date. Make Sure To Focus On Him And Only Him
There are super-attractive people everywhere you go, but you’re on a date. The only person you should check out is the guy that’s right in front of you. So, if your eyes start to wander, it’s a safe bet you’ll get caught and you won’t get a second date.
Plus, it’s so embarrassing if he calls you out on it in the middle of dinner. But more importantly, you don’t want him to think that you’re the kind of gal who might stray in a relationship. So, a word of advice: Keep all eyes forward.
9 Don't Talk About The Ex
If you and your ex recently broke up, keep that yourself. If you ended things years ago and he was the worst, then keep it to yourself. If you and your ex have remained friends, keep it to yourself as well. If things ended horribly but you still find yourself thinking about him, don’t share that with your date.
Whatever you do, don't talk about your ex under any circumstances. You don’t need him to think that he’s the rebound guy. He needs to feel like he’s potentially the one, or at least, worthy of seeing you again. So keep all conversations about your ex to yourself unless you want him to start talking about that ex he still thinks about from time to time.
8 She Should Read Her Date's Body Language To Try To Get A Sense Of How Things Are Going
Talking fast because you’re nervous is a recurring theme in most first dates. But there are a bunch of subtle clues you can give off through body language. Did you know that if he smiles and you smile back, you’re letting him know that you’re interested in him?
The same applies to leaning. Leaning in toward your date is a great way to get a sense of how things are going. It shows they've piqued your interest, which signals a second date is a very real possibility. Make eye contact with him. If he makes eye contact with you, then you can reel him in anytime you want.
7 She Should Offer To Pay The Bill And If He Refuses, She Should Offer To Get It Next Time (Wink, Wink!)
Sometimes the best way to get a second date is to hint that he really doesn’t have a choice. And what better way to do that than by offering to pay the bill? If he refuses, just wink at him and tell him he’ll get it next time. But don’t get into an argument with him if he’s not willing to budge. Instead, offer him an alternative like splitting the check.
If he’s the right kind of guy for you then he’ll be respectful and allow you to pay the bill. And if everything goes well, he'll be able to pick up the tab on your next date. Or, he can take the first-date bill and you can take the next one, meaning a second date is on the cards.
6 Don't Leave Him On Read Or Play Hard To Get. Go Ahead And Send Him A Text To Let Him Know The Date Went Well
Don’t play hard to get. That’s so yesteryear and guys generally don’t like playing games. You’re a modern gal and things like the three-day rule no longer apply. So, if you had a great time, don’t wait another minute and let him know. Make sure to send him a text after the date is over to let him know you had a great time.
If you’re feeling bold enough, suggest another date for the following week. If you wait too long to get back to him, someone else will undoubtedly take your spot in his heart and in his life.
5 Just Don't Go Too Far And Become A Stage-5 Clinger, Right?
Playing hard to get can be a real turn-off, but a stage-5 clinger is really off-putting too. You don’t want to bombard your date with a bunch of texts before he’s even had a chance to open the front door. If you sent a text saying you had a good time, don’t send a follow-up or several follow-up texts, especially ones that involve questions. Ugh! Those are so annoying.
You know the ones we’re talking about, like, “Where should we go on the next date? Do you like swimming? How about horror movies? I love thrillers. Do you?” Keep it cool.
4 Feel Free To Compliment Him, Even If There's A Temptation To Play It 'Cool'
When we said to keep it cool, we didn’t mean that you shouldn’t compliment him on his looks. Make sure to throw in a few comments about how nice he looks. Compliment him on his smile or his amazing laugh. If you like his cologne, let him know that too. Everyone deserves to know that they are being appreciated.
But make sure you’re using the right phrase. A little finesse goes a long way. Avoid complimenting him on areas like his biceps. It comes off a bit tacky, which is the opposite of what you’re going for on your first date.
3 Wear Something Spectacular, Just As Long As It Enables Sitting Down, Walking, And Breathing!
We all want to dazzle our date by picking the best outfit. But you’re already dealing with first date anxiety. You certainly don’t need to worry about being uncomfortable in the clothes you’re wearing.
So maybe a first date isn’t the right time to break in those new stilettos, which makes taking a romantic walk almost impossible. You don’t want to wear a dress that’s so tight that you can’t breathe or that might rip when you sit, or one that makes it impossible to stand without help from your date. But that doesn’t mean you can’t look your absolute best, either. Rock it!
2 Leave Cell Phones At The Door!
Obsessively checking your smartphone every two seconds is extremely rude. It comes off as if you’re over the conversation and you're checking out social media as a way to escape. It could mean that you’re simply more interested in chatting with your friends than getting to know your date.
Besides, can you imagine what it would be like to have a conversation with someone who is constantly staring at their phone? It’s an annoying habit that gives off a bad vibe. You’re on a date, so show some respect and leave your phone in your purse. There’s simply no room for IG and dating at the same time.
1 Don't Be Afraid To Hint At A Second Date
Don’t wait until he leaves to tell him that you really had a blast and enjoyed the date. Sure, a text to hint at a second date is more than fine, but the guy needs to feel like the time he spent was worth something. So before you say goodnight, let him know that you had a great time and would like to do this again soon.
If you’re comfortable enough, give him a kiss on the cheek or a hug when you say your goodbyes. This opens you up to a second date. We get that it’s not easy asking someone out again or hinting at it. But don’t leave another potential date in limbo simply because you’re afraid.