8 Signs It’s Real Love And 8 Signs It’s Just Lust

It’s really difficult to tell the difference between love and lust because they are very similar. Unfortunately, knowing whether we’re in love with someone’s body or who they are is not something we are taught, it’s something we get to learn with time. It’s not about the way we feel about them, it’s about where the feeling is coming from. If you want to know whether you’re in love or think you’re in love, first, you need to be honest with yourself.

You need to ask yourself whether you’re crazy about their appearance, their personality or both. You also should ask yourself if your love for them is coming from a place of need or a place of desire. You can ask people what they think because they always have a good insight to share with you. But, at the end of the day, you should always listen to your own truth even when you’re not that sure. Finally, ask yourself whether you see a future with them or not because if you don’t, then you know that you’re into their body than you are to them as an individual. Here are some signs that’s real love and other sings that it’s just lust.

Continue scrolling to keep reading

Click the button below to start this article in quick view

Start Now

16 Real Love: You’ve Been Looking For Someone Like Him

When it’s real love, you’re with him for the right reasons. You’ve been waiting to meet someone like him this whole time. He meets your standards, he treats you right and he makes you happy. You like his body, his style, his personality and his soul. When you’re with him, the world makes sense. When he looks at you, you feel loved and seen. Being around him makes you feel good about yourself not just about your body. He supports you in everything you do and he’s there when you need him. You stop looking for someone else in the crowd and you don’t compare him to your exes because you choose him out of everyone else. And on top of all that, he makes you feel like the luckiest woman alive just because he’s your man.

15 Just Lust: He Just Happened To Be Available

Source: Favim

You’re with him because he’s there, not because there’s something about him. Maybe you like the way he makes you laugh. Maybe the way he touches you has you thinking it must be love. While in fact, it’s just infuriation because it doesn’t touch your heart as well. You didn’t choose him for who he is, you only chose him because he gives you both, what you want and need. Being with him is less work and less demanding. You feel comfortable being with him because he doesn’t challenge you, inspire you to be better, or motivate you to go after your dreams. You’re still the same girl when you first met him. He doesn’t add much to your life because his being doesn’t touch yours.

14 Real Love: You Hangout Together

When it’s real love, your connection expands outside of the bedroom. At the beginning, you’re all over each other and cannot get enough of one another. It’s completely normal to feel that you want to be close to him all the time because your body craves it. But, that doesn’t prevent you to take that connection to the next level because he means more to you than a fling or a friend with benefits. You spend time with each other’s family. He comes to the events that matter to you and you the same for him. You go on dates, adventures, and road trips together. You spend quality time together. You have deep and meaningful conversations. And you open-up to each other about things you don’t usually talk about with others. It’s not all about sex, it’s also about connecting to each other.

13 Just Lust: It’s Only Netflix & Chill


When it’s just lust, it’s all about the deed. When it’s just Netflix and Chill, your relationship mainly revolves around sex. You spend more time sleeping together than actually getting to know each other. You spend time with each other but it’s nothing special. You might even go out together, but it doesn’t feel different from the other dates you have had with other guys. Maybe you’re in a relationship, but it’s not meaningful or one with purpose. In fact, it’s one of those relationships you have because you don’t want to be yourself. You would rather sleep with him than sleep alone. You’re happy as long as your needs in the bedroom are met. You don’t care that much about him meeting your other needs because you don’t think of him as a partner in all of the areas of you life.

12 Real Love: You Only Talk To Him

When it’s real love, you’re only interested in one person: him. Yes, there are other guys who catch your attention but not in that way. You don’t flirt with other people because he’s the only one you want to flirt with. You’re exclusive with him, heart, body and mind. When you’re in love, no one else matters. You meet guys who are better looking than him, have accomplished more than he did and who have more to give you. But, you choose him because he’s the one you want regardless. You choose him for who he is not for the things he has. When you’re in love, the guy you’re with is enough for you. You don’t feel the need to go looking for someone to satisfy you.

11 Just Lust: You Keep Your Options Open

When it’s just lust, you don’t commit to him or you do, when not all the way. You’re heart is not fully his because deep down, you know something is missing or maybe he’s just not the one you picture yourself with. Therefore, you’re always looking around or waiting to meet a guy who with, you don’t feel like you’re missing on what’s out there. When you get in a heated argument, you don’t feel devastated or heart broken. The idea of losing him doesn’t scare you. And if you broke-up already, you didn’t try to make it work and didn’t take time to heal. You started dating again because he didn’t mean that much to you. Maybe you were upset about how things ended but not that they ended it in the first place.

10 Real Love: You Miss Him When You’re Apart

When it’s real love, you miss all of him when you don’t see him for quite some time. You miss spending boring time with him when you don’t do anything fun, you are just around each other. You miss hearing his voice and the way he says your name. You miss his silly texts and snapchats. When you’re in love, when they’re not there, you feel like a piece of you isn’t either. You miss his kisses and hugs just as much you miss his compliments and his smile. You miss all of him not just his body and the way it feels. You miss talking to him about your day was and you miss opening-up to someone who understands you. When it’s real love, you miss the little things the most.

9 Just Lust: You Only Miss The Sex

When it’s just lust, you miss sleeping with him. You don’t miss the things about him that makes him unique. Instead, you miss someone pleasing you in the bedroom. You miss being touched in general and not being touched by him. When it’s just lust, you miss having someone who makes you feel sexy, attractive and desired. Maybe you miss feeling loved, but it’s not a feeling that lasts, it’s momentary. You miss having someone around rather than you miss having him there. When your connection isn’t that meaningful, his absence isn’t either. You don’t catch yourself missing him throughout the day, instead, you catch yourself being sexually frustrated. You wish you can see him soon because your body can’t stand not having sex for that long, not because it can’t stand the distance between the two of you.

8 Real Love: You Love Him

When it’s real love, you love him for who he is. You love him for the man he is and not for his potential because you understand that love is about accepting someone for who they are instead of trying to make them into someone they are not. You push him to be his best self. You believe in him and you’re his number one fan. When he doubts himself, you’re there to remind him that he’s capable of conquering the world. You love his personality, you love the shape of him, you love his mind. You know him more than most people do which makes you love him even more for the person he is. You appreciate him and everything that he does for you. And you never judge him because you understand where he’s coming from.

7 Just Lust: You Love The Idea Of Him


When it’s just lust, you think you love him, but you’re just in love with the idea of him. You think you know him like no one else does, but in reality you don’t have the slightest clue. When it’s just lust, your reality and perception are not the same thing. You think he’s the right guy for you when he’s not because you’re not being truthful with yourself about the nature of your connection. You think you know what he likes, what he’s about and the things he’s most passionate about. But, there’s more to him than you know because the two of you never dedicated time to getting to know the other. You don’t know about his previous relationships, childhood or family. And you don’t know much about his fears life and hopes for the future.

6 Real Love: Sex Is Making Love

via Pinterest

You’re less concerned about your own pleasure and focus more about his and he does the same for you. You experience a level of connection you’ve never felt with someone before. You feel like you’re one and that you belong with each-other. Sex happens naturally. You feel safe with him and you don’t feel insecure about your sex life because you know that you’re good enough for him. You talk about the things you like and the things you don’t. He doesn’t push you to do things that you’re not comfortable doing. You don’t feel the need to have sex all of the time. Having sex is just another way of getting close to each other. You both respect each other and it shows in the way you interact with each other in the bedroom.

5 Just Lust: There's No Emotion in Intimacy

When it’s just lust, getting intimate is just a need. You might not know that in the beginning because you might confuse it with being connected and intimate with him. When it’s just lust, sleeping together is full of passion and desire. You can’t get your hands off of each other. You feel this constant need of sleeping together. When it’s just lust, the positions you try aren’t romantic. You always have a good time because you’re not that emotionally connected to him. You think you’re in love with him because of the passion you have for one another, but that kind of passion isn’t permeant. And when it’s just lust, the sex you have together feels good all of the time but it never feels out of this world, not even for once.

4 Real Love: You See Him For His Flaws


When it’s real love, you see him as a human. You forgive him for the mistakes he makes and you know that he’s a man in the making. When it’s real love, you love him for his weirdness, quirkiness, and cheesiness. You see how sometimes he doesn’t know what to do. You understand how his pasts shaped him into the man he is today and you don’t judge him for it. When you look at him, you see a person who is healing not someone who is broken and needs fixing. He feels safe around you to be who he is and to express his opinions about religion, politics and life. And when it’s real love, you see him in his best and worst days.

3 Just Lust: You Think He’s Perfect

When it’s just lust, you put him on a pedestal. You think he’s the one for you without even giving him the chance to prove it first. You think the connection you have is perfect the way it is and you never discuss having room for development or growth. When it’s lust, you think he’s perfect the way he is. You become blinded to his shortcomings and therefore, you ignore them. You make excuses for him when he messes-up instead of addressing it with him. You don’t question what the two of you need to do differently to take your relationship to the next level. You’re taken a back of his looks that you forget that his personality matters to. And you don’t take it seriously when your morals are different.

2 Real Love: You Feel Whole

When it’s real love, you feel whole, emotionally, physically, spiritually and mentally. You feel at peace with who you are and where you are in life. You see life in colors and you make the best of the worst situations. Because when you are in love, you come to appreciate the beauty of life and the gift of being loved back. When it’s real love, he makes you see the beautiful things he sees about you and he reminds you of how sexy and smart you are. You begin to believe in yourself more than you ever had because his love for you, makes you feel powerful. When it’s real love, you become the person you’ve been meant to be. You share your love, happiness and accomplishment with the whole world because when you find real love, you begin to understand what actually matters in life.

1 Just Lust: You Feel Lost


When it’s just lust, after a while you start feeling like something is missing in your relationship. You’re not going to know what it is right away because you think that you’re in love. And when you think that you’re in love when you actually are not, you tend to believe that love alone is enough. And that’s why you feel lost because you think you’ve got it all. You think that you’ve found your forever person and that you’re living the dream. And deep down, you feel unhappy or unfulfilled because your connection isn’t quite the kind of connection you actually need in your life. When it’s lust, you feel lost because you don’t know what you want from this relationship, where it’s going and why you should make it work.

More in Girl Talk