So you’ve been dating this guy for a little while. He’s really cute. He makes you laugh. And he works as a chef at your favorite restaurant, so he can hook you up with free dessert. Oh and those eyes. Damn. This guy is a keeper and you are so hooked. You are absolutely giddy when he comes to pick you up for dates and you go red thinking about your latest make out sessions. In fact, you have to actively stop yourself from dreaming all day about his chiseled jaw and what you will name your future kids. But hold on a minute. Aren’t you forgetting something? Before you can run off with your man and little Josie and Jack Jr, you need to meet the family. You have to get your man to introduce you to his parents (aka, your future in laws). You know a guy is really serious about you when he’s willing to take you hope to mom and dad. So is your date with the in-laws coming up? Or are you going to need to cancel your future wedding because this guy is never taking you home?
15. You’ve Already Met His Friends
A great sign that you’re on track for meeting his family is if you’ve already met his friends. For a guy, meeting his friends is like the trial run. These are people he spends a lot of time with and who he wants his girl to fit in with. As a couple, you’ll probably spend more time with his friends than you will with his family. But at the same time, he knows that meeting the friends is more casual. His bros aren’t going to rag on him if things don’t work out with you. And it’s way easier to hang out at a bar or house party with people your age than it is to go to Thanksgiving dinner with his parents. So if you’ve met the friends and the meeting went well, you’re likely looking at a date with the family very soon.
14. He Doesn’t Know Anything About You
A guy who isn’t bringing you home to meet the family is a guy who doesn’t know anything about you. And worse? He doesn’t even care! He doesn’t ask you questions or try to get to know you on a deeper level at all. All of your conversations are very surface-level like what you want to watch on Netflix or eat for dinner. He’s not trying to learn more about your life. He doesn’t ask about your work or any of your hobbies. And he doesn’t even remember important things that you tell him. Like when you mention that you have a big presentation at work, he doesn’t remember to wish you good luck or ask how it goes. When you remind him that your soccer finals are next weekend, it totally slips his mind and he doesn’t show up. A guy who knows nothing about you and doesn’t care to know anything about you is a guy who isn’t serious about you at all. Forget about meeting this guy’s family. It isn’t happening. And that’s actually a blessing in disguise for you.
13. You’ve DTR-ed
DTR = Define the relationship. If you want to meet the family, you and your boo first need to DTR. Because let’s be honest – he won’t be bringing home someone he isn’t serious about. So if you two are just hanging out or dating casually, he’s not going to bother introducing you to his family. He is going to wait until the two of you are 100% in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. How awkward would it be if he brought you to his parents’ house and said, “Hey mom and dad! This is Sarah, my…uh….well, she’s my, um…” Yeah, no guy is looking to have that conversation. He’s going to want to introduce you confidently. So if the two of you have had that all important talk and have labeled your relationship, you should go pick out your best dress for a visit to the parents’ house soon!
12. You Haven’t Had The Talk
Have the two of you had “the talk?” You know the one. The talk where you both sit down and say, “So, where is this going? What are we?” Have you defined the relationship? Does your relationship have a label? If you haven’t, then sorry to say it but you won’t be going home with him anytime soon. He’s not going to bring home someone he’s just casually dating. He will only be bringing a girlfriend home to meet the family. So if he isn’t comfortable calling you his girlfriend, he definitely won’t be comfortable introducing you to his parents. And if he won’t call you his girlfriend, you might have bigger problems. Perhaps you haven’t been dating long enough to DTR. Or perhaps he’s just not ready for commitment and this isn’t the guy for you.
11. He Checks Your Holiday Schedule
A great sign that your man is planning on inviting you to meet his family is if he’s constantly checking in on your holiday schedule. He wants to know when you’re going to be free because the holidays are the perfect time to invite you home. Over the holidays, lots of families get together so it’s a great way to introduce you to everyone without sitting through a million different dinners. It’s also a good way to bring you in without putting all of the focus on you. If he brings you home for a Christmas brunch, there’s going to be lots of focus on cooking the turkey, setting the table, opening presents and singing carols. Of course people will notice you, but you won’t be the main attraction. And that’s great because your guy likely wants to make you feel comfortable and introduce you to his family under the radar. So if this is your guy’s strategy, he’s going to keep checking in to see when you’re free this holiday season. Keep an opening in your calendar!
10. He’s Flakey
If a guy is being a flake, he simply doesn’t care enough about you. He could have all of the excuses in the world. But at the end of the day, if he is consistently flaking out on you it’s because he doesn’t care enough. And you don’t want to be with a guy who doesn’t care about you. And if he’s being a flake and not calling you when he said he would, not showing up to dates on time and not responding to texts, you can bet he won’t be bringing you home to meet the family. A flakey man is always going to be unreliable. And if he’s happy to waste your time and put himself first, he’s proving that he’s not someone you want to be with long term. In fact, you don’t even want to meet his family. You want to get away from this guy.
9. He’s Talking About His Family A Lot
If your guy is thinking about bringing you home, but he isn’t sure about it, he might try to casually bring up his family and gauge your reaction. So as you’re going out to dinner one night, he might mention that his mom makes the best spaghetti or that his dad introduced him to this restaurant. And then he’ll look at you and see if you’re interested in learning more. If you want to meet his family, then you need to act interested. Ask what’s so special about his mom’s spaghetti or what kind of food his dad likes. He’ll love that you want to know more. He may also start to remind you of his family members’ names and things they like and dislike to prepare you for a family conversation. So if your man says, “So my mom, Gina, who loves fresh flowers, called today,” it may sound odd, but really he’s just getting you prepared to meet the fam!
8. He Avoids Talking About Family
If a guy doesn’t want you to meet his family, he is going to avoid the subject like the plague! Seriously, he will not bring up the topic of family at all. He won’t want to talk about his family and he won’t even want to talk about yours. Because if the topic comes up, he’s nervous you might start asking questions. And what’s he going to do if you straight up ask to meet his family? Well first, he’ll panic. And then he’ll come up with some terrible excuse or try and change the topic. Sadly, if this is how your guy is behaving, you are not going to be meeting anyone related to him anytime soon. His family probably doesn’t even know you exist! If you’re newly dating and willing to wait it out, you might be waiting a while. Or maybe it’s time to cut and run.
7. He’s Bringing Up The Future
Before he takes you home and introduces you to his loved ones, your man is going to want to make sure you both are on the same track. So he’s going to want to talk about the future and be sure you’re on the same page. Because he isn’t going to waste his time or his family’s time, bringing home someone who isn’t going to be a part of his future. So maybe your man has always planned to move to another state for a dream job. He’s going to check in and see how you feel about a long distance relationship or if you’d be open to moving with him. Or maybe he’s dreaming of starting a family soon or never having kids at all. So he’s going to double check that you want the same things he does. It’s better for him to know now, than for him to find out the answer when his sister grills you at the dinner table.
6. He’s Not Making Any Commitments
A guy who isn’t bringing you home is a guy who is not committed to you. That’s the bottom line. He doesn’t see a future with you, so he isn’t bothering to bring you home to meet the family. And if he doesn’t see a future with you, he’s not going to be making any commitments for the future. You bring up the idea of going on a trip over spring break? Yeah, he won’t be signing off on that. He’ll tell you that spring is a super busy season at his job. You get an invite to a friend’s wedding next summer and what does he say? Nothing. He probably smiles uncomfortably and changes the subject. A guy who doesn’t want to commit isn’t going to tie himself down to anything. He won’t want to make any promises. He doesn’t want to give you false hope for a future together that doesn’t exist in his mind.
5. You’re Going To A Work Party
Just like meeting his friends is a trial run for meeting the family, so is going to your boo’s work party. Inviting a girl to a work party is kind of a big deal! It’s one way to introduce you to another group of friends. These are the people your guy spends the most time with, so it’s really important that you get along with them. It’s also a slightly more formal environment. Sure, you can hang with his bros at the pub, but can you also fit in at a formal wine and cheese party with his co-workers? At a work party, you have to be on your best behavior. You want his co-workers to like you but you also don’t want to embarrass your man in front of his boss. So a work party is a great trial run for meeting the family because it’s meeting people close to him in a more formal environment. He wants to see if you can make a good impression.
4. You’re Not 100% Comfortable
If you’re in a relationship with someone who doesn’t want to introduce you to his family, there are likely some other problems with your relationship. The two of you probably don’t have much of a future together, unless he’s willing to change his stance on meeting the fam. But one way you’ll know is if you’re not comfortable. When you’re in a loving and caring relationship, you should feel comfortable. You should be able to be yourself. You should be open with your partner and able to voice your needs. But if you’re in a rocky relationship, you’re never 100% comfortable. You always feel a little uneasy with your guy. Maybe you feel like you always have to prove yourself or be on your best behavior around him. That’s not the stuff of lasting relationships.
3. He Stages A Casual Run In
Now this is a pretty huge sign and it’s not one that every guy is going to be comfortable with. But if your guy wants you to meet his family, he might try to break the ice early by staging a casual run in. Basically, he’s either too nervous to bring you home for a formal dinner or he can’t wait that long to introduce you (yay!). So instead, he’ll make something up. You might be over at his place watching TV and his sister will pop by “unexpectedly.” So you’ll get to meet her and have a first intro to the family before the real thing. Or maybe you’ll just happen to run into his brother on the street one day and have to stop and chat. Lucky for you, he probably won’t do this with his parents. He wouldn’t want to ambush you with the parental units. But a sister, brother or even a cousin? For sure! That way, when you do go to his parents’ house for dinner, you’ll already have a friend in whichever sibling you already met.
2. You Only Ever See Him
Of course, you want to spend time with your man. And getting to spend time one on one is never a bad thing. But if you only ever see just your man, you may be in a bad position. If you’ve been dating for a little while, you should eventually meet some people in your guy’s circle. You should go out with him and his friends or meet him at work for lunch. And he should have met some of your friends. It’s not normal for the two of you to exist in a bubble. If a guy is serious about you, he’s going to want you in all aspects of his life. He’ll be proud to introduce you to his friends and co-workers. But if you only see him, and worse if you only see him at his place late at night, you probably won’t be meeting the family anytime soon.
1. He Still Flirts With Other People
Ouch. Now this one is going to hurt. But if your guy isn’t committing, isn’t defining the relationship, and is still flirting with other people – yeah, you’re not meeting the family anytime soon. This is just another sign that he isn’t serious about you. How could he bring you home to meet mom and dad if he’s still got a bunch of other girls on the side? It’s not like he can bring you all home. A guy who is still out there flirting, or worse, dating, other people is a guy who isn’t ready for a real relationship with you. You might not know he’s doing this or he might be doing it in plain sight. Maybe he offers to go get drinks from the bar and ends up spending 10 minutes flirting with the hot bartender. Or maybe he hasn’t deleted Tinder from his phone yet and keeps telling you that he’ll get to it. He’s not going to get to it. Move on from this guy because he’s not worth it.
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