Does it feel like your entire world is crumbling right before your eyes? Does it seem like your relationship is completely falling apart and everything good in life is going with it?
First, let us remember that relationships are going to have ups and downs. You definitely will not always feel those magical butterflies you felt in the early stages of the relationship. What is going to matter during these tough moments is that you want to find the good times again – that you aren’t ready to throw in the towel and move on.
It’s up to you and your partner to make that decision to work together and get through the confusing down times in your relationship. And trust me, sometimes it’s going to be hard work.
The first step to saving your relationship is going to involve figuring out why things aren’t as happy as you want them to be and determining whether or not this is something worth saving.
If you have decided that it is, this is when the real “fun” starts. Luckily for you, you’re not alone – a lot of us have been where you are and have had to figure these things out, too. Here are 25 ways to stop a relationship from falling apart.
25 Stop Saying "I'm Fine"
Somewhere along the road you and your partner have got into the bad habit of no longer being honest with one another. He asks you how you’re feeling, and out of habit you reply with “I’m fine” when really you are anything but fine.
You skip around the truth to avoid further conflict in the relationship, but you can’t keep doing that, especially if you want things to get better and to prevent your relationship from falling apart.
It’s time to tell each other the truth about how you’ve been feeling.
24 Stop Getting Caught Up In A Routine
It’s easy to get caught up in the routine of daily life. You stop living and just start operating on autopilot. This isn’t healthy for you or your relationship.
When you’ve given up on being an active participant in your life, you’re also giving up on a lot more.
Something doesn’t feel right in your relationship and things haven’t been going the way they should? Figure out what’s off. Work together with your partner to locate the source of your issues.
23 Discover Ways To Reconnect
If you and your partner have been together for a while, things aren’t going to be exciting all the time. If you want to help your relationship get stronger when things feel like they are weaker, finding new ways to reconnect is important.
Just like you have changed overtime, your relationship has also evolved. You need to search for new things that you and your partner can connect on and enjoy doing together.
When that connection you once had feels like it is lost forever, just try to reconnect in a different way.
22 Don't Let Pride Get In The Way Of Seeking Outside Help
Sometimes the problems within your relationship are too much for you and your partner to conquer alone. You will need some outside help. The best route in this situation is to seek advice from a counselor. A third party is likely to see the issues in a clearer way than either you or your partner ever could.
Having someone mediate during heavy discussions will allow you two to work through the anger and frustration rather than letting the talks end with yelling and more resentment.
21 Communicate...For Real
Communication is one of the most important things you can have in a relationship. Once you and your partner stop talking things over, all sorts of problems are likely to sprout up.
Neither one of you are mind readers, so don’t pretend to be.
Nothing will get better if you don’t discuss openly how you both are feeling, what you don’t like and what you think should improve if you want to keep things together. Once you guys start talking, don’t stop after a day or two. The lines of communication need to remain open.
20 Time To Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone
Have you always wanted to try hiking a new trail or exploring a new town with your partner, but just never got around to it? Well do it now. Try new things together that you or your partner have been wanting to do. When you are more adventurous, you will discover more things about each other.
The adventure is likely to spark up new and exciting things to talk about and share with each other. As Her Aspiration defines it, it will be “a relationship that will be based on each other's willingness to be adventurous and enjoy new things together.”
19 Comfort Can Be Dangerous
Comfort feels nice. It feels safe. But sometimes safe isn’t always the best thing for you. Don’t let your relationship fall into that comfortable spot. Mix things up every now and then.
When you work hard to pull your relationship away from being too comfortable, it will start to improve.
Spend more time on affection and thinking about ways on how to be more passionate together. Don’t let the days just fly away; pay full attention to everything that happens every day to be really present.
18 Keep The Past Where It Belongs
This is probably going to be the hardest step, because regardless of how the past is in the past, it still hurts.
We acknowledge that you are still in pain over past mistakes, but if you want this relationship to heal, you are going to have to let it go.
If you want to prevent the relationship from falling apart, you are going to need to focus on the present issues and not the problems of the past. Those are over; you can’t change them. You can work on the current ones, though.
17 Actually Set Up Some Achievable Goals
Couples who try new things together are typically happier in their relationship. Several psychology studies have even proven the fact that when you get out there and do new and exciting activities with your partner you are likely to be more satisfied in the relationship, according to Business Insider.
If you feel like your relationship is heading in the wrong direction, find something for you and your guy to do together. When you complete a new task together, you have something new to share and form a bond around.
16 Start Saying "Yes" To Other People
Your relationship will greatly benefit by socializing more. If you don’t put yourself out there to interact with other people, you are likely to fall into a rut of always saying no to invites, which could ultimately drag you down further.
Do yourself a favor and say yes. Get dressed up and impress your partner. Allow the two of you to just get out and have some fun.
Go dancing, have dinner with friends. Just get up and out of the house. He will appreciate your effort.
15 Offer Each Other More Emotional Support
Life can be really hard; everyone knows this. What we all need is some emotional support when things just feel unbearable. If your relationship feels like it’s falling apart, you’ve likely stopped offering each other that necessary emotional support. This needs to stop now. You need to make an effort to show you care and that you can be counted on.
Once you take that initiative to show your partner that he can lean on you, he will likely open up and also be there for you more.
14 Don't Forget To Keep The Romance Alive
When you first start dating a new person, you put in a ton of effort to woo that person and make them feel special. Typically, this romance phase somehow fades away once you’ve locked down your special someone.
Working relationships need romance.
It’s important for the sake of all relationships that we remember to keep that romance alive. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been together for five months or five years, everyone loves being flattered. A frail relationship could be saved if you go back to treating each other the way you did in the early stages of the relationship.
13 Don't Forget About The Most Important Relationship
There’s this saying that goes something like, “you can’t truly love another person if you don’t love yourself first.” While this may not be 100 percent factual, there is some truth behind it.
If you feel your relationship needs some serious help, then you are likely feeling unhappy. You deserve happiness. Maybe there are things you haven’t done but always wanted to. Do them now, for your own sake.
When you work on yourself and your own happiness, your partner is likely to feed off this new energy and feel happy, too.
And two happy lovers will make for an improved relationship.
12 Always Respect Your Partner And Their Needs
Learning how to have mutual respect for each other will do wonders for your struggling relationship. The most important part of respect in a relationship is truly understanding that your partner is an individual person with his own wants and needs.
In order for your relationship to get back on track, you both should learn the values in listening to each other, talking openly, compromising, and giving each other space.
You might think the only way to fix your relationship is to spend every waking minute together, but a lot of the time that will just make things worse.
11 Give Approval Where Approval Is Deserved
Everyone loves a good pat on the back. If your partner is making an effort to do right by you, he will appreciate the positive feedback. When hard work is acknowledged, the person is likely to continue their hard work.
If you start praising your partner, he will feel elated and more than likely start passing positive comments your way. It’s important not to take each other for granted, especially when things are already rocky. According to Her Aspiration,
“Praising each other will give you a new-found confidence and you will have faith in each other to know that you are appreciated.”
It's all about pushing and inspiring each other to be the best version of themselves.
10 See Things From The Other's Perspective
Do you know what your partner really goes through every day? We have to try hard to remember that as bad as we feel, our significant others are likely struggling with their own demons and just keeping them hidden. You can’t truly know what the other person is dealing with unless you put yourself in their shoes.
Be sympathetic and consider what the other person is going through. It’s not always about you.
You and your partner need to open up to each other about what you’re dealing with in order to find a good solution to your problems.
9 Strive To Be A Good Listener
There is a difference between hearing and listening. Communicating effectively isn’t just about sharing your thoughts. You have to reciprocate and genuinely hear what the other person is saying.
Don’t check out of your conversations midway. Stay open and be an active participant in the discussion.
If you want to turn this relationship around, really listen to your significant other when they talk to you. Don’t just nod in agreement with everything while daydreaming about something else. Your man will seriously appreciate being listened to, because it is likely hard for him to open up in the first place.
8 Stay Calm And Try Not To Raise Your Voice
I don’t know about you, but I am a naturally heated and passionate person. It’s hard for me to talk about serious things and not get upset when someone doesn’t agree with me. I’m working on it.
A lot more can be accomplished if both parties of the relationship stay calm and think logically during heavy discussions.
Compromises and solutions are more likely if you don’t yell at each other. Once the yelling starts, all sorts of other negative vibes will crash into the relationship.
7 It's Time To Really Discuss Wants And Needs
No matter how much we think it, men are not mind readers. If you want things to get better, you are going to have to share your wants and needs. If you never discuss these things, you will just keep struggling with how things are.
If there is something you don’t like, let him know, because more than likely he has absolutely no idea you don’t like it.
So much can change if you just speak up and make it known.
6 Go On Special Dates
Just because you have been together for a while or even live together now absolutely does not mean you should stop dating each other. Make time out of your busy schedule to go on a special date together.
Remember how great things felt when you first started dating each other? Those feelings can be rekindled by doing those fun and special things together again.
Don’t let you or your partner become lazy in the relationship. Just because you are committed to each other, it doesn’t mean you have to stop trying.
When you stop trying, you basically become roommates.
5 Forgive Each Other’s Mistakes
This might be the hardest and most important part of healing a hurting partnership. A stubborn attitude never got anyone anywhere, but forgiveness can get you far. According to Huffington Post,
“To forgive is to detach from the bitterness, anger, and animosity holding you back from progress with your partner.”
It’s okay to feel hurt, but you can’t begin to get over the bad things that happened if you keep holding on to them. Whatever happened, happened. If you want to make this relationship work, you are going to have to try to forgive each other’s mistakes.
4 Cut Out Negative Influences
Keep those pesky negative Nancy’s out of your relationship because they will only brew toxic feelings.
“Understand who's playing a less-than-positive role in your relationship and commit to keeping that person's energy out,”
advises Huffington Post. Relationships stay strong and healthy when they are kept as private as possible. Instead of gossiping about all of your problems with your besties, try talking to your partner about those problems. Your friends are not likely to have the right answers for you and will definitely hold whatever it is against your partner in the future. That can be damaging to your relationship.
3 Set Boundaries With Each Other
Your relationship likely needs a lot of work and healing right now. A good start is to set boundaries with each other and keep them. If you set a certain goal or rule for your partner, make sure you do the same thing for yourself, too. A relationship goes both ways.
Tell him honestly what you would like him to do for you and be prepared to accept things he wants from you.
By working within each other’s wishes, you will gain a sense of trust and security.
2 Make Each Other Number One
You likely have a lot of important people in your life, such as family, friends and co-workers. Everyone matters, but in this moment when you are trying to prevent your relationship from falling apart, your partner needs to be your number-one priority.
If you have hung out with your girls every weekend this month and your significant other is asking for time with you, give it to him. You and your partner need to make each other the most important thing in your lives right now in order to make your relationship thrive.
1 Don't Forget About The Love
There is a reason why you began this relationship and there is a reason why you haven’t left it yet – you love him. As you two work on fixing your relationship, a lot of bad memories and tough arguments are bound to come up. Don’t forget you love each other and don’t stop telling each other you are in love. It's so simple, but it happens too often.
This love can help turn things around. Get in your special love bubble together and soak up all the happy warmth.
References: Business Insider, Huffington Post, Marriage.com, Her Aspiration, Elite Daily