There are lots of good reasons to end a relationship. Perhaps your goals no longer align; maybe you’ve grown apart over the years; possibly you’ve become more like friends than lovers. Whatever the reason, breakups don’t always have to be the worst thing that ever happened to us, so long as we can understand how they came about and we’re eventually better off for it.
These 25 people do not fall into that category.
On the contrary, these 25 individuals have shown that even the pettiest, silliest, or stupidest of reasons can be enough to terminate a relationship. While these reasons are usually the straw that broke the camel’s back and, out of context, seem superficial and selfish, they’re often the tipping point to something that had been festering for a long time. These reasons can indicate a larger pattern of behavior (which is usually mentioned in the confession itself) and cause enough of a gut reaction to have the person in question pull the plug then and there. When you know, you know, right?
Do any of these 25 reasons strike a chord with you? Would they be reason enough for you to break up with an SO, or would you stick around?
25 Christmas Was Coming And I Didn’t Want To Get Her A Present
Okay, in all fairness to the Reddit user who posted this holiday faux-pas, he was 13 years old at the time of the breakup!
Back then, trivial reasons seemed like more than good enough excuses to end a relationship.
While 13 might seem like a pretty young age to start dating, since relationships at this stage are pretty forgettable and juvenile, it’s interesting to note that this guy still remembers the scenario as the dumbest reason he ever dumped someone!
24 He Said Green Tea Was Bad For Me
It’s almost universally accepted that green tea is good for you. It helps speed up your metabolism, is loaded with antioxidants, improves brain function, and can even lower the risk of cancer! Naturally, one Reddit user was pretty put off when her date claimed that it was bad for her health! Part of the reason for his statement was likely that the ex-SO was Mormon, and so doesn’t abide by any caffeine, but it was the last straw for that Redditor!
23 She Wore A Poncho
No one should ever break up with anyone over what they choose to wear.
But according to Chad, 36, wearing a poncho on a date was more about what the move said rather than the clothing choice itself.
“We went out to a nice restaurant and she showed up wearing a poncho. I was out from that moment on. On a basic level, I guess I just thought, ‘You should try to look hot for me on a date.’…I took time to present myself in an attractive manner for her, so the fact that it wasn’t reciprocated insulted me.”
22 He Didn't Know How To Wash His Hair
Personal hygiene is important, people! It shows that you care when it comes to yourself and your life, and a lack of hygiene indicates to most people that not only do you not care about yourself, but you likely don’t care much about others, either. (After all, they’re the ones who have to smell you!)
Giselle, 29, admitted that she dumped a guy because “he literally didn’t know how to wash his hair.” According to her, “He would only use conditioner and not rinse properly so his mop was always SO greasy. It was gross.”
21 She Had Abnormally Long Toes
Some people are weird about feet, and apparently, this Reddit user counts himself among them.
According to his post, he kind of regrets breaking up with the girl, who he described as “nice, funny, and obviously into me," and yet he simply couldn’t get over the fact that her toes appeared “finger-like”!
While this is definitely a shallow reason, at least the user has admitted that this happened quite some time ago, and if faced with the same girl now, he wouldn’t make the same decision. Hindsight is 20/20!
20 He Used Smileys When Texting
As someone who puts a lot of stock into texting and the language used in texts, I can kind of relate to this reason! While I might not break up with the person, it would definitely be an irritant!
The reason this caused “any feelings of infatuation to vanish," according to the Reddit poster, was that she felt he was trying too hard, or that he wasn’t smart enough and had to rely on emojis to express his feelings where words failed him.
19 She Ordered A Salad At IHOP
Okay, no one has any right to dictate what you do and do not eat (unless perhaps you have some strict diet organized by a personal trainer).
But it wasn’t that this Redditor’s date ordered a salad – it was that she ordered a salad at IHOP, the International House of Pancakes!
In his post, this guy says that his date picked the restaurant and had zero dietary restrictions, and the fact that she didn’t order breakfast food or something “fun” was, to him, an inability to let loose once in a while.
18 He Looked Like My Cousin
From having the same name as a sibling or parent to bearing a striking resemblance to a family member, there are lots of reasons to dump someone that the other person simply has no control over! This reason, given by Stephanie, 30, was just too much for her – and the thing is, she didn’t notice it at first! According to Stephanie, it was her own mother who pointed it out and afterward, she simply couldn’t un-see it, thus bringing the relationship to a screeching halt.
17 She Was Really Condescending About Football
In relationships, sometimes our SO has a hobby or interest that we’re totally not into and that’s fine! We don’t always have to like all the same things! However, according to one anonymous Thrillist staffer, it was the fact that his ex was so condescending about football that drove the last nail into the coffin.
According to him, not only did she have no interest in the game (which is fine) but, one night when she threw a dinner party the same night as the Super Bowl, she refused to even have the TV on.
That was it for him, and he ghosted on her before ghosting was even a thing!
16 He Used Water In His Cereal Instead Of Milk
No matter what cereal it is that you’re eating, it never, EVER tastes better with water than with milk. This is just a fact. It’s even better by the handful from the box than floating around all soggy in a bowl of water!
When one Redditor listed this as her pettiest reason for dumping someone, most other members of the forum jumped to her defense, saying that this was a sensible course of action because it’s a sure sign of sociopathy and leads directly down the road to cereal serial killer.
15 She Was Bad At Bowling
Bowling may not be your thing, and this Redditor was cool with that! The thing that really turned him off and caused him to end things with his date was that she wasn’t only bad at bowling.
Rather, she became angry and frustrated at how poorly she was doing, despite refusing to take help from anyone!
Of course, it could be that she was self-conscious and had first-date jitters, but losing your temper over a game doesn’t make you much of a winner in any capacity!
14 I Didn't Like The Way His Nose Was Shaped
In all fairness to this Reddit user, she had two reasons for breaking up with this guy (the first was that he liked Insane Clown Posse), but the second is the most trivial, and so included here!
According to her, his nose was “lopsided and weird” and she couldn’t see anything other than it! An on-off relationship followed that lasted five years and, throughout that entire time, she still couldn’t get over his nose! (It caused their first breakup after about six months, but she was able to look past his nasal failings, at least for a while!)
13 She Ate Celery In Bed
Some people don’t like eating in bed (or having others eat in their bed), and some people don’t like celery.
This Redditor actually had a strong aversion to celery, almost to the point of phobia (although the jury’s still out on his feelings about food in bed).
Despite knowing his distaste for the vegetable, the ex in question would not only crunch away on it, spreading cheese or peanut butter on the stalks, but would do so in close proximity, in their shared bed! In his words, “she had to go."
12 He Intentionally Misspelled Words
Like the woman who couldn’t stand the guy who would constantly use emojis or smileys in his messages, Rachel, 34, also couldn’t handle a man who would intentionally misspell words. Communication is a big deal, people!
According to her, he would use the letter ‘z’ instead of ‘s’ and even add a ‘z’ when it wasn’t needed (e.g. “lolz”). It prevented her from taking him seriously, which is big in adult relationships, and so she had to call it off then and there. We kind of get it!
11 She Re-Read Twilight
Book snobs are some of the worst people in popular culture, but hey, at least this dude admitted that it was a shallow reason to call things off! During a casual relationship period with one girl, an anonymous Thrillist staffer went to her place for once and discovered that she had the Twilight series.
Okay, fine, but here was the kicker for him: They were hardcover, displayed front and center, with tags sticking out of the pages.
It was “as if she went back and re-read certain passages”! Unsurprisingly, he never called her again.
10 He Wore Stupid Graphic T-Shirts
Little things that began as irritating quirks can quickly take on a much larger role if they’re simply one of the ingredients in a doomed relationship. For example, Sarah*, 33, was with a man for one year, who she described as “nice and funny," but who always wore graphic T-shirts. On its own, not a bad decision, if a little fashion-challenged and immature. However, for Sarah, it was that he chose to wear these as inappropriate times, like on vacation with her family or to a charity event, where a ‘galaxy cat’ tee made its debut!
9 She Stopped Giving Me Free SoulCycle Classes
Okay, not only is this a petty reason to dump someone, but it’s rude, selfish, and a lot of other words we can’t print here!
Colin*, 31, (who clearly understood the shallow stupidity of his actions and chose to protect his name) dumped his girlfriend after she ditched her job as a SoulCycle instructor.
Rather, his lady decided to take a corporate job that likely provided things like health insurance, pension, and a higher salary. However, since this dude thinks it’s all about him, rather than be proud of his GF’s promotion, he dumped her since he wouldn’t be getting any more free classes!
8 He Showed Up With A Huge Beard
Gone are the days of blind dates, since we have apps like Tinder to take some of the guesswork out of it for us, but, with the rise of social media has come the rise of catfishing. While this Redditor wasn’t the victim of a catfish scheme per se, she was definitely caught unawares when her date showed up boasting a full and bushy beard when all of his pictures had shown him immaculately groomed and beard-free! Once he dished that he was planning to keep the beard-and-mustache combo long-term, she was out.
7 She Was Allergic To Red Wine
We can’t help our allergies and, from the sounds of it, 25-year-old Riccardo* couldn’t help using his date’s allergy as reason enough to end things with her. Well, what are you supposed to do when you work in the wine industry?
According to him, “a big part of [his] life revolves around tasting different and delicious wines. It was a literal buzzkill that she couldn’t share and appreciate it with me.”
Couldn’t she have just stuck to the whites and rosés?
6 He Ate Chicken Wings With A Knife And Fork
Chicken wings are a messy food. Ribs are messy. Pizza is messy. Only one is occasionally acceptable to eat with a knife and fork – and it’s not chicken wings or ribs!
The Redditor who served this bit of breakup tea explained that it was usually hot wings that were carefully picked apart and eaten slowly with cutlery, which begs the question – why order wings if you’re not gonna dig right into them? Time-consuming and wasteful, since there’s no way you’re carving all that meat off the bone, it was just too much for her and the guy had to go.
5 She Laughed At Her Own Jokes
If a joke you’ve made isn’t funny and you laugh at it anyway, it’s awkward. But that wasn’t the case here.
According to one Redditor, the jokes his ex made were funny enough, but the laugh that followed was decidedly not.
To quote him, it sounded like she was “a dolphin [who] required the Heimlich maneuver.” Apparently, the impending doom of hearing that obnoxious sound at the end of any joke or anecdote ruined any and every conversation they had, and so he had to end it.
4 He Thought That Clairvoyant Was A Person
As a kid, you can totally mix up words and assume that one word is actually a name, which is what we imagine happened in this case – i.e., Claire Voyant. Unfortunately for the ex of this Reddit user, that excuse has an expiry date, which he learned the hard way when he got dumped over his mistake!
In her confession, she stated that she said something to the effect of “that was clairvoyant," to which her ex asked who that was, and then proceeded to get angry at her for talking about people he hadn’t heard of!
3 She Turned Off My T.V.
Strap in for this entry, because it’s pretty wild! One Reddit user admitted that it was a series of things that caused him to break up with a girl he was seeing, beginning with her insisting she come over when he was busy working on essays. Then, she proceeded to get into his bed while still wearing her grimy work clothes. Strike two.
Finally, the girl got up out of bed, turned off the TV that was providing background noise, turned off the lamp in his room, and went to sleep!
Yeah, it was the straw that broke the camel’s back for this Redditor!
2 She Asked Me What The Simpsons Was
Okay, as a major Simpsons fan, this might be a deal-breaker for me, too! After all, how is anyone supposed to get the majority of my references or jokes if they haven’t at least caught a few episodes over the years? It was even worse for one Redditor, who was telling a girl about a funny thing he had watched on the long-running cartoon, and she asked what The Simpsons was. How do you miss a pop culture phenomenon that’s been on the air for 30 years? Unsurprisingly, she was “canned almost immediately."
1 He Ran Weird
The more you look at people running, the stranger it seems, but usually you don’t have to spend time with them afterward.
That wasn’t the case for this Reddit user, who accused her ex of running weird, which she learned when they had to get somewhere quickly and began jogging, only for her to realize that her date “just looked soooo ugly running”!
As an adult, this is a pretty dumb reason to call things off but, fortunately for all parties (and the rest of humanity), this confessor was just 13, making it a trivial reason, but more palatable than if she’d been 23!
Sources: Reddit, Thrillist