When we forget about dating trends and weirdness (like ghosting... who started that?!) and get back to the basics, a relationship needs communication and clear words.
When Chandler and Monica get married on Friends, he says to her, "I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I was ever going to have to do, but when I saw you walking down that aisle I realized how simple it is. I love you. Any surprise that comes along the way is OK because I will always love you."
As Chandler says, it's easy: he loves Monica and things will work out. We always want our relationship to be easy, and yet we make talking to our boyfriends tricky and difficult. The truth is that there are many words that we shouldn't be saying if we want our relationship to be as happy as Monica and Chandler's.
Sometimes if we're using a certain word all the time, it's going to annoy and frustrate our partner. Other times, we might say something that makes them worry or think that we're trying to put pressure on them.
Here are 23 words that she needs to remove from her vocab unless she wants him to run.
23 OMG Is A Word She Doesn't Need To Use Often
Some people love slang and others wish that no one would ever use this type of language. It's a personal thing. But it's safe to say that if she's always using the word "OMG" around her boyfriend, whether in person or when texting him, he might find it immature. This is definitely a word that she wants to remove from her vocab... unless she wants him to run.
Sometimes saying "OMG" can be funny and cute. But she might want to save it for when she's texting her BFFs because her boyfriend might not find it quite as cute (at least after hearing it a few times).
22 BAE Isn't What He Wants To Be Called
The slang term "Bae" can be really annoying for some people. Chances are if she doesn't want him to run, she doesn't want to call him "BAE." The first time she says this word, he might smile and think it's adorable, but after that, she should definitely remove it from her vocab.
People love using this word when talking about their boyfriend on social media or posting a photo of the two of them, but it's not really necessary, is it? Her boyfriend would much rather that she just call him by his actual name and forget any slang like the word "Bae."
21 BUSY (Because He Doesn't Want To Hear That She's Super Busy All The Time)
When a friend or family member or coworker asks how we're doing, it's so common for us to say "I'm so busy" or even "I'm so busy, I can't even handle it."
But "busy" is also a word that she should remove from her vocab. If she's always telling her boyfriend that she's so busy or seems to be worried about her schedule every week, that could get frustrating for him. It's really hard to date someone if they seem so busy that they don't have any time for you. If she uses this word all the time, he might wonder if she has the time and space in her life for him, and that's probably not what she wants him to feel.
20 DRAMA Needs To Be Removed, Too (If She's Complaining About Friend Drama, For Example)
It's tough to have friendships that don't have a little bit of drama every once in a while. You do your best to get along with everyone and not argue about small things but sometimes it can't be helped.
If she's always using the "word" drama when talking to her boyfriend, whether she's referencing "friend drama" or calling things "dramatic," that can be a bit much. He might think that she likes getting caught up in all of this and he might wonder why she's talking about this stuff so much. A lot of people try to avoid drama, and her boyfriend might be one of those people.
19 ENGAGEMENT RING Will Put Too Much Pressure On Him
If she brings up "engagement ring" too early in the relationship (or too often), he's going to feel like there's a lot of pressure on him. This is another word that she definitely wants to remove from her vocab.
If she and her boyfriend have been together for the appropriate amount of time and it makes sense to chat about marriage, it's much better to talk about it like that instead of straight up asking "Are you getting me an engagement ring?" And she doesn't want to bring up her ring size, either. Basically, avoiding the word "ring" is probably the way to go here.
18 She Shouldn't Say BABY Because He'll Feel The Pressure, Too
"Baby" is a word that should probably be removed from her vocab if she doesn't want to put tons of pressure on her boyfriend. Sure, when it's logical to talk about starting a family, that's totally cool and that's what every couple should do.
But before then, this isn't a word that she wants to say on a regular basis. Once a couple is totally ready to have a baby, it's so exciting and wonderful... but before then, it feels like a lot to even think about. It would be easy for him to feel too much pressure if she was always saying this word.
17 If She Says AWKWARD It'll Make Him Feel Awkward
Of all the words that she should remove from her vocab unless she wants him to run, "awkward" would be on the list, too. If she calls everything awkward, she might seem insecure, and that could make her boyfriend wonder if she's ready for the relationship or if she's the right person for him.
When people tell a funny story and say that something was "awkward," that's totally entertaining. But the rest of the time, the word "awkward" is used in a more negative way, and it can be more than a little bit annoying to hear people say it all the time.
16 STRESSED Is A Word To Avoid As It Will Be Frustrating
Some people talk about being stressed only in intense situations when there really is no other word for all of the stuff that's going on in their lives. Other people probably use the word "stressed" way too often and might want to think twice because it can be, well, stressful for other people to hear it.
He might be frustrated when he hears her saying that she's "stressed out" and it's not the most positive thing to constantly say. Sure, of course sometimes it can't be helped, but the rest of the time, she'll want to remove it from her vocab.
15 She Shouldn't Call Him BABE 24/7
Not everyone wants to be called "babe" all the time. Some couples use this word a lot and think that it's adorable... but, of course, the other people in their lives think that it's used way too often.
The problem with "babe" is that it can be cheesy and if used too often, it can be a bit grating to listen to. She probably doesn't want to call him this word, and it's a good idea to remove it from her vocab. It's the same thing with the word "bae"—he just wants to be called by his name most of the time.
14 She Needs To Remove CHILL From Her Vocab (And No One Wants To Hear That They Need To 'Chill Out')
If she's always telling her boyfriend or other people to "chill" or "chill out" it can seem a bit rude and he wouldn't be comfortable with that. This is a word that she should remove from her vocab.
Sometimes it can be funny to say "Okay, you need to chill" to someone... but her boyfriend is going to get tired of hearing this word after a while.
It's kind of like telling someone to "calm down." Does that work? No way, right? People really can't stand hearing that, and it only makes them act and feel even less at peace.
13 She Should Never Say FINE (And He Knows It's Not Fine)
When she tells her boyfriend "I'm fine" she's not fine at all. He knows it, too, since guys are totally aware of this by now. She's actually upset, but she's choosing not to explain to him exactly what's gotten her so upset.
She should remove the word "fine" from her vocab and just tell him what's bugging her instead. It'll clear up so much confusion and make both of them feel so much better. When you think about it, is "fine" ever a good word to use? Don't people always dislike hearing this term? You either say "I'm fine" when you're not or "fine" when you're annoyed and in a bad mood.
12 She Shouldn't Use The Word LAZY (Or Call Him That)
Does anyone want to be called "lazy"? Definitely not. This is never a positive word and it never sounds nice to call someone lazy. If she calls her boyfriend "lazy" he will, of course, be upset about that.
"Lazy" is a good word to remove from your vocab, especially when talking to your boyfriend. It's honestly never a positive word, and sometimes it's totally necessary to try to think more positive on a daily basis. There's always so much going on that can get you down if you let it, but when you act like a positive person, it'll really help your relationship.
11 Guys Don't Like Hearing 'We Need To Talk' So She Wants To Avoid The Word TALK
She also wants to avoid saying the word "talk" and she absolutely wants to avoid saying "we need to talk." Chances are, many guys would agree that this is the worst saying ever and that they never want someone to say it to them.
The funny thing is that "we need to talk" has become such a popular saying in relationships that if you say that to your boyfriend, he's going to assume that you're going to say something bad or upsetting. He'll also assume that you're super mad at him. You don't want that to happen, so it's good to avoid this word.
10 WHATEVER Is A Word That's Out, Too (It's Too Passive-Aggressive)
While Cher and her pals said "whatever" a lot in the amazing movie Clueless and it was totally hilarious, it's not so great to say this word IRL.
She should also remove this word from her vocab, especially if she doesn't want him to run. He's never going to like hearing this word. Why? Because it's passive-aggressive. When she says "whatever" it's clear that it's not whatever and that something is totally wrong. He'll just get annoyed that she's using this specific word instead of talking about what she's thinking and it's going to end up being a totally messy situation.
9 She Shouldn't Say She's WAITING, Either, As That Brings Up Milestones That Haven't Happened
She shouldn't tell her boyfriend "I'm waiting for you to clean up the bedroom" or "I'm waiting for us to move in together." When she uses the word "waiting" it makes him think that she's expecting something from him, and it makes him think about the milestones that they haven't hit yet in the relationship.
She should remove "waiting" from her vocab and let him know what milestones are bothering her or what chores he should do around the house to help her out and make her feel like she's not running around doing way too much and getting too exhausted.
8 She Should Remove SURE (And He Never Wants To Hear This)
It's not great to say "sure" because it's a passive-aggressive word. When your boyfriend asks you something, you say "sure" when you don't have anything else to say. Does he want pizza for dinner? You're not big on the idea but you don't want to say no if that's what he really wants so you shrug and say "sure." He can totally tell that you're not pleased, kind of like when you say the word "fine."
"Sure" doesn't have a super useful place in anyone's vocab, and it's a good idea to remove it. Try to communicate better and let him know what you're thinking, even if you're honestly just saying that you don't want pizza and want to cook something at home.
7 He Never Wants Her To Call Him IMMATURE
He doesn't want her to call him "immature" and if she uses this word a lot, he might start to wonder if she's going to turn around and use it on him.
Based on that, it seems like she should also remove "immature" from her vocab. Do you think this is even a necessary word? Probably not, right? If you're dating a guy who is immature, then you probably don't want to be dating him much longer... and the honest truth is that telling him that his behavior is too immature isn't going to automatically change it. He'll probably just shrug and feel annoyed or mad.
6 Guys Don't Love Chatting On The PHONE So This Word Is Out, Too
She also wants to remove the word "phone" from her vocab, and she doesn't want to mention the words "phone conversation" to the guy that she's started dating.
Many guys don't like talking on the phone, and so his palms might get a bit sweaty after hearing this word. He could be the coolest, smartest guy ever and he still would prefer not to talk on the phone because he's concerned that he doesn't have anything to say or that she's not going to think that he's that interesting after all. There's a lot to think about here, so it's best to avoid it. We all love texting anyway, don't we?!
5 She Shouldn't Say She's MAD At Him
It's normal to get mad at your partner sometimes... but telling them "I'm mad at you" is coming on too strongly. People don't really respond well to hearing this, even if they messed up or there's a legit reason for it.
She wants to remove the word "mad" from her vocabulary and come up with a more gentle way to express her feelings. She can definitely tell her boyfriend that she wants to tell him how she's feeling and that they should have a conversation. And she should because bottling it up isn't good. But the word "mad"? It shouldn't be part of that conversation, that's for sure.
4 ANNOYED Is A Negative Word To Use On A Regular Basis
No girl wants to hear her boyfriend say that he's "annoyed"... either with her or in general. It can be really tough to listen to your partner complain all the time. Sure, there are moments when it's warranted and it only makes sense to vent and get it off your chest. But otherwise, it's not something that she wants to hear her boyfriend say.
And since she doesn't want him to say it, she shouldn't say it, either. It can be easy to say "I'm so annoyed" and then launch into a rant about your bad day or the long line at the supermarket. But it's so much better to keep things positive and upbeat.
3 She Shouldn't Straight-Up Say The Word FUTURE
The word "future" worries many guys. It's a slippery slope because when you start dating a new guy, you want to talk about it and figure out if you two even have a future together... but the truth is that saying the word "future" too early on might really worry him.
She can definitely remove the word "future" from her vocab and focus on the present. The good news is that if they are meant to be together and they do have a future together, the relationship will happen the way that she wants it to. She doesn't have to say this word at all.
2 COMMITMENT Will Worry Him
You want your boyfriend to commit and believe in commitment... but you don't want to actually use the word "commit" or "commitment" around him.
Any girl who says these words to her boyfriend would be coming on too strong. Luckily, there are so many other ways to get around this and have this conversation anyway. "Relationship" is definitely a word that she could use when she wants to have the talk with her boyfriend. It's a bit of a nicer, gentler word than "commitment" even though, of course, it basically means the same thing. He'll know what she's getting at for sure.
1 He Doesn't Want Her To Say EX-GIRLFRIEND
When she's always asking about his ex-girlfriend, that gets old, so this is another word that she wants to remove from her vocab... unless she wants him to run.
There is really no point in talking about his ex because unless he's hanging out with her all the time and she's concerned, it's old news. She should be thinking about the relationship and how well it's going, not the person that he was dating before they got together.
While it might be tricky not to bring up these words around him, it's going to be so good for her relationship.