"Anything else would've been basic"– when Cardi B explained baby Kulture on SNL, she spoke from the gut.
An egg just broke Kylie Jenner's Stormi announcement for the most IG likes. While @worldrecordegg lasted about a day, Stormi will last well into this century. The world's most famous baby has the world's most unusual name (although Kylie doesn't get to call "OG" on weird baby names).
15 years ago, Gwyneth Paltrow was fronting every magazine for naming her girl Apple Martin. Apple is now a celeb in her own right, as are Brooklyn Beckham, Paris Hilton, Willow Smith and most of Angelina Jolie's uniquely-named clan.
All or nothing seems to be the Hollywood vibe, though. While one half of the world's most glamorous zip code is picking off-the-wall names for their kids, others are going with biggest #Normie ever. Reese Witherspoon, Blake Lively and The Rock have all picked relatively normal names.
It's time for a roundup. Here are 23 celeb kids with the most bizarre names, plus four who got tagged with a #Normie.
25 Kylie Jenner: "I Really Don't Know How We Thought Of Stormi"
Stormi turned one on the 1st February, 2019. Kylie Jenner's hiding days are long-forgotten by now, her apology for "keeping you in the dark" was accepted, and we're still gushing over that baby of hers. Kylie told E! News,
"I really don’t know how we thought of Storm. Her dad insisted it was him, but I feel like it was me. And that kind of just stuck with us. And then I didn’t really like just Storm — I didn’t feel like that was her name."
24 Gwyneth Paltrow: Kinda Kicked It Off With Apple Martin
Gwyneth Paltrow is always making headlines. While GOOP's controversial lifestyle recommendations dominate 2019's front pages, it was Gwyneth's baby name choice that stopped us in our tracks back in 2004.
"Chris [Martin] named her," TV Guide reports Gwyneth saying, although she did add that her daughter, Apple Martin "loves" her name. This kid is now a recognized dancer and total A-Lister, and the weird name seems to have worked.
23 Angelina Jolie: Shiloh-Nouvel Came With A #NovelConcept
Only one of Angelina Jolie's kids has a "normal" name. Aside from Vivienne, you're looking at Pax, Maddox, Zahara, Knox and Ange's most-famous child– Shiloh-Nouvel Jolie Pitt.
Shiloh "wants to change her name to John,"
Made For Mums reports, as Shiloh continues to make headlines for her gender-breaking barriers. Shiloh is a Hebrew name, while Nouvel is the French for "new." Refinery29 reports that both Ange and Brad Pitt "support" their daughter's wish to change her name. Wacky doesn't always work...
22 Kim K: North West Is The "Highest Point"
On social media, name suggestions for Kim and Kanye's 2019-due baby are already pouring in. A ton of them are variations of North West. Yes, this little girl has been rocking the internet since the day she was born.
"The way she explained it to me was North means 'highest power,' The Hollywood Reporter quotes Kris Jenner saying about Kim's explanation of the name. "She says that North is [Kim and Kanye's] highest point together."
North West is unusual, witty and admit it– it's all kinds of awesome.
21 Megan Fox: Bodhi Ransom And Journey River
Megan Fox has a 2000s vibe that's about to make a comeback– Megan's upcoming travel show will see this Transformers actress back in the game. Megan and Brian Austin Green have three children, although it's the two with unusual names that we're eyeing up.
Bodhi Ransom and Journey River. The second one sort of explains itself as one of those "nature" names. Bodhi would likely be linked to the Buddha, who is said to have found enlightenment under the Bodhi Tree.
20 Beyonce: Blue Ivy Is Now A Bonafide A-Lister
Beyonce and Jay-Z are probably Hollywood's most powerful couple. Their $1.16 billion joint net worth makes Forbes headlines year after year (for going up), but the spending isn't just split between these two artists. Blue Ivy is the couple's first-born daughter.
Heart reports that Blue Ivy was chosen after Bey's favourite novel. Other sources point towards a 13th-century poet. Oh, and there's that "blue hue" reference in Jay's lyrics.
19 Blake Lively & Ryan Reynolds: James Is Normie, Inez Ups The Ante
Low-key pretty much sums up Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds. While they stepped out in style for the Hollywood Walk of Fame here, these two generally stay out of the spotlight (and that includes their kids).
James is the name of Blake and Ryan's son. You can't get more normie than that. Then again, it all turned a little more Hollywood with the arrival of their baby girl, Inez. As People reports, Blake sets the record straight on her daughter's name– it's Inez, not Ines.
18 Cardi B: Kulture, "Anything Else Would've Been Basic"
Cardi B recently updated her IG to throw us another baby pic (that doesn't really show the baby). In 2018, Cardi and Offset became first-time parents to Kulture Kiari. Talk about a statement name.
"Anything else would've been basic," Cardi said on SNL regarding the name. With her statement lyrics, eye-popping outfits, and that "Bentley truck I park on my Versace driveway," we wouldn't expect anything less from "Bartier" Cardi. Kulture flies by private jet, and she's got the name to match.
17 T.I.: Messiah Ya'Majesty Kind Of Outdoes Them All
T.I. is definitely one of those rappers who "made it." The dubbed "King of the South" lives out the hip-hop lifestyle to the full, and that includes the names he picks for his kids– yes, multiple. T.I. is a dad of seven.
Messiah Ya'Majesty is the full legal name of Tip's eldest son. As Baby Gaga reports, this kid lives the ultimate high life. For his 13th birthday, Messiah was thrown a lavish birthday party complete with an Egyptian pyramid cake.
16 When You Remember Kendall Jenner And Paris Jackson Aren't Ordinary Names
Weird, right? We're used to wacky names in Hollywood, so Kendall feels almost normal. Which, in a way it is. Kendall is a gender-neutral name that comes without the OTT glam, but you won't find it topping baby name charts. Likewise, Michael Jackson's daughter, Paris.
This supermodel and "it" girl hit Coachella with Gigi Hadid. Paris wound up as a major Hollywood name thanks to Paris Hilton, but as names go, it's pretty #Extra.
15 And Not Much About Suri Cruise Is "Regular"
Suri Cruise mostly makes headlines for her wardrobe, which Marie Claire estimates to be worth $3 million. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes's daughter spent her early years bundled up in blankets, but Suri is now marching those Hollywood boulevards as the A-Lister she is.
Suri means "princess" in Persian (but it also means "pickpocket" in Japanese).
Suri is now 12 years old. Her parents continue to make headlines for their 2012 divorce, but the shining star is Suri here.
14 Kourtney Kardashian: Penelope Is Pretty Tame For The Family
Kourtney Kardashian started having kids before the whole KimYe name craze. The "OG" Kardashian mom has three kids with Scott Disick, although most of the activity these days centers around the fact that Scott and Kourt aren't together.
Penelope Scotland Disick is the name of Kourt and Scott's middle child. Kris Jenner told E! that the name was simply chosen because it was "cute." It's a pretty normie name (although adding Scotland as a middle name does spice things up).
13 But Khloe Went With True
2018 threw us more Kardashian babies than we could handle. KimYe's Chicago joined Kylie Jenner's Stormi, plus we got baby True from Khloe Kardashian and Tristan Thomspon.
True was Kris Jenner's grandfather's name– yes, it runs in the family. Kris revealed this during Khloe's baby shower on KUWTK. Ironically, Khloe herself discovered a few "home truths" before her baby's arrival, but that all seems to be water under the bridge. This beyond-adorable mommy and daughter snap came from Halloween 2018.
12 Tyga's Son, King Cairo, Is Growing Up
Tyga doesn't quite make the headlines he used to. 2016 marked the end of Tyga's relationship with Kylie Jenner, although Cosmopolitan reports Tyga "taking credit" for Kylie's success. What?
King Cairo is the name Tyga chose for his first-born child. Tyga was just 22 when he became a dad, but when Blac Chyna is your mom, you're going to get a statement name. As Daily Mail reports, King Cairo is now showered with gifts that include mini Ferraris.
11 Chris Brown's Daughter, Royalty, Gets The #RoyalTreatment
Somehow always making headlines for controversial reasons, Chris Brown is a rapper we've seen back in the news in 2019. In 2009, it was for his incident with Rihanna. In 2018, it was TMZ's report that Chris and his baby momma, Nia Guzman are "finally calling a truce."
A $30,000 birthday party at the age of four– kind of fitting when your name is Royalty (and daddy is Chris Brown).
As Daily Mail reports, $30,000 was what this rapper splashed out for his daughter, Royalty's fourth birthday.
10 Victoria Beckham: Harper Seven Is Stylish, But It Isn't Normie
"Motherhood is my greatest achievement." Victoria Beckham might have CNN's reported $450 million to her name, but this former Spice Girl and mother of four keeps it humble.
Victoria puts the pride of having four kids above her Victoria Beckham fashion empire (and the rest). Harper Seven is Victoria's daughter.
While the number seven was David Beckham's soccer shirt number, David actually revealed on FB that Seven "symbolizes spiritual perfection," as Us reports.
9 KimYe: Kept The #Statement Up With Saint And Chicago
When you've named your first kid North West, it's expected that any further babies follow suit. Keep it up KimYen did with Saint (born in 2016) and Chicago (born in 2018). As Baby Gaga chronicles:
Kanye believes "people live up to their names." That should explain Saint. Chicago was named in honour of Kanye's hometown.
"That is a place that made him, and a place that he remembers his family from," Kim told Ellen DeGeneres about Chicago. Meanwhile, The Sun reports that Saint was chosen because he was "a blessing."
8 Alyson Hannigan: Goes Trick-Or-Treating With Satyana
Alyson Hannigan might not be rehearsing scripts for How I Met Your Mother anymore, but this sitcom actress makes headlines every year for her family Halloween outfits. Together with her husband, the American Pie actress has two kids. Keeva joins her older sister, Satyana.
"I loved Satyana because we didn't name her for four days because we were debating how to spell it," Mothering reports Alyson saying. The name feels right for Halloween, but as to the other 364 days of the year, it's a little bizarre.
7 Unusual Worked Out Fine For Miley Cyrus
Not much has gone wrong with Miley Cyrus. Now Mrs. Hemsworth, Miley might be changing her last name, but lose the Miley, and you've pretty much lost the girl. If anyone's got the grin to pull off a smile-based name, it's her.
Miley’s stage name developed out of a childhood nickname, Smiley, Vogue reports. The reason? The giant smile. The magazine reports the name "evolving" into Miley, but it wasn't until 2008 that Destiny Hope Cyrus changed her name legally. With Billy Ray Cyrus as her dad, being a "celeb kid" is actually mostly forgotten with Miley.
6 Jaden Smith: Ordinary Name, Now Fronts Louis Vuitton
Will Smith doesn't look old enough to have kids in their 20s. At 50, the Men In Black actor continues to defy his age, although it might be those two kids keeping him on his toes. While Willow Smith has 3.9 million IG followers, it's her brother, Jaden who is steaming ahead with over 11 million.
Jaden might have a "normie" name for Hollywood, but you're looking at the face of Louis Vuitton. Depending on how well you know him, you might also have seen him posing with Kendall Jenner and Hailey Baldwin in LV kicks.
5 Aaron Paul: Called His Baby Girl Story
With rumours galore that Breaking Bad, the movie, might be coming, this iconic show's cast is back in the news. Aaron Paul brought us Jesse Pinkman. The man behind the character is a dad to a girl named Story. As reported by Parade, he told The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon:
"We went to a chapel to get married,” Paul said. “But the chapel happened to be closed, so we took that as a sign [to wait] So, she’s our little story."
Aaron met his wife at Coachella. They bought their unborn baby a leather jacket, got married and these are the awesome IG pics we now get.
4 DJ Khaled: Went With Lion
It doesn't get more powerful than this. DJ Khaled became a dad in 2016. "Father of Asahd" is the producer's much-used moniker, although Asahd itself means "lion."
The birth was live-streamed on Snapchat, but it's Khaled's more-recent video messages that have been touching hearts. "Every morning I tell Asahd: I love you," he said. "But the truth is, he got me. He's what gives me hope and purpose." DJ Khaled called his son "my legacy, my love, my lion." #Statement, but #Adorable.
3 Gwen Stefani: Zuma, Apollo And Kingston
Gwen Stefani is straight-up amazing. This grunge-pop singer turns 50 in 2019 (although she doesn't look a day over 35). Gwen juggles The Voice alongside being a mother of three– quite when Blake Shelton will propose, we don't know.
The names? Apollo is a Greek god. Gwen told People that Nesta means "messenger." That's before you get to the middle names of Rock and Bowie. The one kid who seems a little out of sync, here? Kingston isn't the most regular name, but it's #Normie compared to the other two.
2 Justin Timberlake: Silas Randall Is The Cutest Kid In Hollywood
Justin Timberlake continues to throw us #MarriageGoals with Jessica Biel. These two are so perfect for each other, we don't know where to start. Their son, Silas Randall, now comes in #DaddyDuo IG pics, and the captions are nothing but love.
"It is my honor to be your daddy." This guy's IG captions are spot-on, like woah.
Silas is the middle name of Justin's maternal grandfather, NME reports. Meanwhile, Randall is Justin's middle name as well as his own dad's first name. Unusual, but awesome.
1 Sno Filmon Dot Com Cozart: Chief Keef Gets A #BestSavedTilLast
Rapper Chief Keef might not top charts like Travis Scott or The Weeknd, but this guy won the baby name race years ago. His son, Sno Filmon Dot Com Cozart made such a wave, The Independent wrote an entire article about it. If you're wondering, part of the name is inspired by Keef's record label.
Chief Keef's other children are named Krue Karter, Kayden Kash and Kimora Sosha. Rounding us off with a best-til-last deal, we're still getting over this one. With a name like that, you should get a free website.
Sources: E! News, TV Guide, Made For Mums, Refinery29, The Hollywood Reporter, Heart, People, Baby Gaga, Marie Claire, E! News, Cosmopolitan, Daily Mail, Us, Mothering, Baby Gaga, Vogue, Parade, People, NME, The Independent, The Daily Mail